DANGER LOG

[craxyguy562]

March 11, 2014

night-
My mom caught me "playing" on my mobile and threatened to take it away because I have D-'s and F's

March 12, 2014

mourning-
My mom told me during the drive to school:
1. That she will find and permanently take my mobile
2. Doing good in school is the only way to succed in life
3. Assumed that when I say I would like to get a job I like I mean a job where I watch tv all day
4. Accused the computer of cuasing me to get bad grades
5. That I'm a bad influence on my little brother
6. Accused this site of brainwashing me.

In the afternoon I have a parent teacher conference becuase of my F in english, wish me luck.
PS: If I never return, it is beacuase my mom banned me from the internet.

[KFC Nyan Cat]

Great, more moms who ban stuff.

[craxyguy562]

March 12, 2014

afternoon-

At the teacher-parent conference: According to my english the reason I have an F is becuase I turned in a major project "the wrong way" and she didn't see, another is me turning in an uncomplete assignment and having a missing assignment.

car drive home: My mom said that when I get home I must take a shower than get striaght to doing my school work.

home:
I took a shower and I am now in my brother's room. I'm suppose to me doing my schoolwork and homework right now

rumor: My brother faked being sick to skip school again.

[James Comey]

Oh my god. It sounds your situation is getting really bad. Sounds like your parents are looking to dictate your life even further and make it a living hell than it already is.

Are there any adults you might possibly know that could defend you? That's the only thing I can think of.

[Vinsanity35]

Neoooooooooowwwwwww parent teacher conferences suck ass sorry man

[craxyguy562]

Actually a while ago, in a car ride with just me and him. My dad bravely admitted he doesn't exactly like school. It was one of the most exciting moments in my life.

[Vinsanity35]

Your dad is st8 man at least someone is on your side who is an adult

[Larryington]

crazyguy562 Wrote:Actually a while ago, in a car ride with just me and him. My dad bravely admitted he doesn't exactly like school. It was one of the most exciting moments in my life.

Woah. That's the first time I've ever heard a dad say that. It must've been exciting to hear your own dad saying that.

[craxyguy562]

The problem is he still supports my mom. :/ So I can't trust him.

[Larryington]

Oh.....Well, at least he's somewhat on your side, I guess. Or not. I guess you'll have to see.

[craxyguy562]

March 12, 2013

evening

dinner:
For about a minute my mom casually bitched about how I need to do my work to pull up my horrific grades yadada, then she started saying, "Your autisic so math and science should be easy for you." She didn't say exactly that but she implied that. Isn't what she said stereotyping?

[no]

Wait, WHAT?

WHAT???

[James Comey]

Oh yeah. There are stereotypes about people with autism/etc being good at math and such. Sigh...

[Trar]

xcriteria linked this thread on G+ and since I haven't been on the forums for a little while, I popped in to read it.

What I saw in the G+ post was bad enough; my father threatened to cut off the internet while I was struggling in school as well, but the 'autist' comment was right out of left field. What the fuck. Ignorance about the autism spectrum is another problem, and stereotypes tick me off. (At least your mother doesn't sound like the bitter, socially inept 4channer who usually doles out the autism stereotypes, so there's that small comfort.) Suffice to say that while having a 'high-functioning' disorder might help you with mathematical and scientifical matters it's not a guarantee. Does she even know he's anything close to autistic?

I hope the situation is resolved before it gets any worse, but I'm not sure if it can get much worse.


The G+ thread linked to one of crazyguy's previous threads, about his therapist. Good discussion in there. I indeed went through a similar situation (that didn't get as bad as this one, thankfully), and I know this is happening to students all across not only the nation, but the Western world. Finding and training therapists who can work with students and not just blindly follow factory-model schooling and the All Mighty Grade because it's what they know and it's what they know they're being paid for is important.

Justin Schwamm, a high school Latin teacher who understands the many faults in present-day public schooling (and who has a neat blog about it) had this to say on G+:

J. Schwamm Wrote:It sounds like the therapist has one (probably unexpressed and unexamined) definition of "fullest potential," while the OP has a very different one. I'm not sure how the OP, as the person with less power in the relationship, can get the therapist, the more powerful person, to see that, though. 

We came to the conclusion that crazyguy's therapist defines 'full potential' as 'good grades'.

J. Schwamm Wrote:Grades, when you stop and think about them, are designed to serve two contradictory purposes at the same time. They theoretically indicate proficiency, so anyone who "works hard enough" theoretically should be able to achieve the requisite proficiency level and "earn" a high grade. But at the same time, they're also designed to sort and select, so the supply of high grades is deliberately limited. I wonder if the therapist has considered that issue. If she hasn't, and if the OP has some evidence of how his teachers and school administrators do use grades as a sorting/selecting/reward/punishment mechanism rather than as a simple measure of proficiency, that might lead to some interesting conversations down the road.

And the likely theft of his methods of communication isn't a unique phenomenon either.

xcriteria Wrote:[Taking away belongings] is quite a common pattern, when parents feel powerless, and, like Ms. X and Mr. Y, don't know what else to do but exercise the very limited power they do have.

crazyguy's parents, I can safely guess, want him to have good grades so he can go to college and be financially successful later in life. Never mind higher education is not absolutely necessary for that, and by extension neither are perfect grades. So they hired this hack with a degree (the irony) who's trying to get him to see the light.

xcriteria Wrote:So, there's the question of what to do about all of this... including finding ways to educate parents, therapists, and educators, and ways to help learners both cope with the expectations of their parents and teachers, and pursue other interests that make the coping worth it.

On a larger scale, training and educating people, including therapists, about the issues with public schooling is one thing we should do. Of course, it's going to take some doing to get some of them to overcome myopia and the payola they get from the whole affair. xcriteria has a suggestion on how to build credibility and start working towards transformation:

xcriteria Wrote:That's where I think these educators with credibility, like those who run edu-MOOCs like DNLE, Ed Startup, and LCL, in combination with various writers and speakers (us), might be able to make both content and events specifically adapted to people who aren't personally invested in changing education (but who have a problem caused by the lack of fit of many with their accepted education paradigm.)

As for what crazyguy can try and do?

If his father is truly sympathetic, then if his mother really does crack down on all connectivity to the support system he relies on to get through public school (this is idiotic and I hope his mother wises up some day), crazyguy could try and convince his father to let him use a computer or somesuch. Perhaps he could show him some material that gets at the issues with public schooling, to try and get him to see the whole picture.

Or he could borrow a friend's phone or something. Iunno. If he can get access to his local public library, that would be a big help. They'll probably have SS and/or the chatroom banned, but I can provide help with that. Just make sure to clear your browser history whenever you're done on the library computer(s).

George Ochoa and Blake Easter, respectively, had the following to say on G+ about crazyguy's therapist and his views:

G. Ochoa Wrote:I'd say it's probably important at this point to try to introduce the therapist to possible anti-schooling views, at least let the therapist consider them. Many therapists don't see what's wrong with the education system.

B. Easter Wrote:Honestly, I think it is a misunderstanding (society-wide) of what quantifies success. The modern/archaic academic measurement being grades. We all know the grades get you to college blah blah blah.

If crazyguy, possibly with our help, could come up with a way to shift the conversation and start informing his therapist about the many issues with present public schooling, that would be big. And in all likelihood very difficult. I'd suggest at the very least continuing to not be open with him, until you might need to open up to introduce these ideas.

Hope I got something across with all that. Hell of a 1,200th post!


EDIT: xcriteria puts the therapist's problem succinctly:

the man, the legend, Brendan Q. Xstormin Wrote:I think we need a network of therapists who (1) understand cognitive refugees, a.k.a. those who don't fit in typical school environments, and (2) are willing to engage in dialogue with a clients personal learning network, a.k.a., us in this case.

It's certainly a goal worth working towards.

[(´・ω・`)]

(03-13-2014 03:08 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  Oh yeah. There are stereotypes about people with autism/etc being good at math and such. Sigh...

I personally can confirm the opposite, at least with regards to mathematics and mental calculation. I'm terrible at it.

[James Comey]

Same here. Math has never been my forte.

[craxyguy562]

Actually School Survival is not banned at my library so even if my parents ban me from my computers at home I could still use the computer at the library.

[James Comey]

School Survival at school.

My school has it blocked, as proxy.

[Cianna200]

More bad parents

[craxyguy562]

I meant public library.

[craxyguy562]

March 14, 2014

afternoon-
My dad changed his mind. He said I can't get my "computer privileges" till I pull my grades up...He fooled me. He pretended to suport than turned around and stsbbed me in the back. Though to tell the truth I wasn't really that suprised or hurt, due to paranoia I kind of saw it coming.

[craxyguy562]

March 14, 2014

night-
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS! MY OLDER BROTHER STOLE MY MOBILE! MY ONLY ACCESS TO THE INTERNET AT HOME! My family is turning against me, and sadly this does not suprise me. Ever since I was born my family had a feudal system. While he one with the most power lived a life of luxury, the one on the bottom had one of pure misery. I'm typing this on my mom's ds.

[Trar]

(03-15-2014 01:38 PM)crazyguy562 Wrote:  March 14, 2014

night-
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS! MY OLDER BROTHER STOLE MY MOBILE! MY ONLY ACCESS TO THE INTERNET AT HOME! My family is turning against me, and sadly this does not suprise me. Ever since I was born my family had a feudal system. While he one with the most power lived a life of luxury, the one on the bottom had one of pure misery. I'm typing this on my mom's ds.

I didn't even know the Nintendo DS had that functionality.

Anyway, yeah, screw them. I would suggest finding out a way to spend time at the library, and doing so when you feel it necessary.

(SS wasn't banned at the last school I went to, but it was banned at the last adult education center I went to, IIRC.)

And technically, your situation is more like a dictatorship. Feudalism would entail you receiving the protection of your mother and the right to use the land they own in exchange for completing tasks/possible military service for your family. It's most likely they really do consider you just a serf, though.

[James Comey]

Yeah, crazyguy's situation really sounds messed up, with judgmental parents about grades.

[xcriteria]

Justin's daily blog post was on this very topic the other day: Taking Things Away

At those Parent-Teacher conferences last week, C's mom and I talked about taking away the things that he loves. "It doesn't work," she said, "and I don't know what to do." And that conversation has been haunting me for a week. Two recent threads by +Brendan Storming (which I should have linked to, but didn't, in today's blog post) brought the issue to mind again, and the result was today's longish blog post about taking things away and compliance and the unexamined, unquestioned paradigms of immediate obedience that undergird so many twentieth-century legacy structures.

I hope things turn around, crazyguy... in terms of your family changing their mind, in particular.

Do you think you can (and want to) get your grades up? If so, if you need help, I'm sure several of us would be open to helping tutor you, provide encouragement, or whatever might help. And there are various resources for learning the material (Khan Academy, for example.)

Anyway, keep us updated, and I'll write more tomorrow.

[craxyguy562]

My older brother took my mobile becuase, "Everytime I use the internet on it, it stops the internet".

[craxyguy562]

March 15, 2014

morning-
I have an appointment with my therapist and my mom knows I took her ds and she is pissed.

[xcriteria]

It's really best to try to establish trust and try to get people on your side... Taking others' devices doesn't help with that. :(

I think it's good to record this log, but if you need to you could use paper and post updates later.

Try to figure out what everyone wants, and express interest in improving the situation and working together to find win-win solutions... Especially with your therapist. Even if she seems on your family's side, she may be able to advocate for you if you can connect with her.

For example, find common ground on general goals like reaching your potential... Then seek buy-in for your interest-based goals like writing, as well as compromise a bit on making efforts to improve your grades.

Think of that as a step toward having more freedom and flexibility in the future... And explain how being online is an important step toward developing parts of your potential school isn't helping much with.

Does that make sense?

Also, try to get a better understanding of your therapist's views on therapy. What theories and psychologists does she like? Does she have other clients who also feel uncomfortable witg school-as-usual?

[craxyguy562]

March 15, 2014

morning-
After I returned her ds she banned me from her room, still go in it anyways.

afternoon-
I overheard them talking about me and I heard them metion this site. This is what they said about you guys, "They are a bunch of people on welfare." I am now using the library computer.

[Trar]

(03-16-2014 08:40 AM)crazyguy562 Wrote:  March 15, 2014

morning-
After I returned her ds she banned me from her room, still go in it anyways.

afternoon-
I overheard them talking about me and I heard them metion this site. This is what they said about you guys, "They are a bunch of people on welfare." I am now using the library computer.

How the Hell did they find out about us in the first place, let alone come to that conclusion?

Anyway, xcriteria may have hit on a key point here. Since you're still youngish, it seems like you're going to have to make a deal with the devil, so to speak, and try and maneuver your way out by showing your therapist your POV.

And good on you for using the library computer. Just make sure you wipe the browser history after every session, and make sure your parents don't get suspicious that you're spending a lot of time there, especially on this site. And hope the library doesn't log your activity. If you had a computer of your own to use at the library you could potentially set up a VPN to mask your traffic from any library monitors, but even I don't know exactly how to do that yet. And also you don't have your own computer.

Also, try to use a computer with a monitor that faces the wall. Less chance for prying eyes that way.