RB18's log of random realizations

RIP School Survival Forums
August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

If you want to write about your experiences in school, you can write on our blog.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Author	Message

Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline

Revolutionary

Posts: 484
Joined: Sep 2013

Thanks: 734
Given 271 thank(s) in 168 post(s)

Post: #43

RB18's log of random realizations

I need to remember this in relation to myself and my relatives:

(04-30-2015 03:18 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:
Quote:I've just had received intimidation, teasing and mockery from my sister, who probably didn't actually mean inside to say those things inside because simply put the have been told these things there whole entire life, but ended up literal teasing and mockery.

I used to be in denial like this about my relatives for a long time too, but it took me a while to realize that nobody is holding a gun to my parent's head and forcing them to say *insert a lot of shit*. They were saying all that crap because they thought that it would do something good- nevermind that their good intentions are eventually going to lead to their ruin very soon. My parents don't regret an ounce of anything they said or did to me, and I [b]hate them for it. [/b]While your ability to forgive your sister is amazing, don't delude yourself about her. It might just end up saving you a lot of pain.

If someone really regrets what they said/did, the regret and guilt is worthless unless they do something about it - preferably stopping the behaviour that hurt others and cause them to feel guilt/regret in the first place. Same thing with apologies, they are worthless if the person apologizing says sorry and does the same thing again and again.

I can see that you are kinda pacifist, but don't hesitate to clean the shit out of your life.

Quote:* I think for myself, that best way to combat such ignorance and intimidation. I usually go through the trying to rational, calm, and nice. I'm well know in my school for getting into arguments with teachers alot, but also super calm and rational about it.

That's a good idea. If you don't lose your cool you don't let them win or get some dirt on you, so to speak.

Quote:*Also even though I am not physically bullied, I am emotionally bullied by other guys, even though they themselves are not intimidating, but a situation or a an eviorment makes them want to be dominant, aggressive, a manipulative emotionally breaking down kind of intelligence.

I'd ask you not to make excuses for them...

Quote:* Of course this kind of things makes people want to go to depression, anxiety, or wanting revenge on these people for being treated like inferior or downtrodden.

Depression, anxiety and wanting revenge are normal reactions to being bullied or abused. I understand that you don't want to fall into those patterns, but that bit came off as a bit condescending. I know you didn't mean to sound like that, even though it sounded like "I won't be depressed/get anxious/want revenge because I'm too good for that crap."

Sorry I wasn't so helpful, but it helps a lot to get away from the people in your life who do nothing but pull you down at every opportunity. That's my answer.