I broke down in tears at school today...

[Maddy]

I haven't been on these forums in a few months, but what happened to me today just made me really want to vent to someone who would understand the agony of school. And I remembered that this is a really cool place and I should come on more often but that's another matter.

So I was in PASS (which stands for Physical and Social Studies - i.e 'Does anyone know what a homosexual is? ' and '
Today we are going to find out what kind of learner you are' etc) and the subject for the day was media. My school just loves to train everyone up for a nice job in the media so the brainwashing pattern can continue. We had to get into partners and come up with a minute long advert for any product we liked and present it to the class after 10 minutes. Okay, everyone thought, that's just fine.

Well I suffer from pretty extreme stage fright, especially when I have to do stuff in front of the class. For four years I have been forced repeatedly to get up and do activities such as this, mostly in year 9 drama *shudders at memories* and no teacher ever seems to really consider how much I loathe - and I mean loathe - to perform anything. It's very difficult to explain how I get, I just start to shake at the idea of people looking at me and judging my performance. So this day I say to myself 'well why the fuck should I? Why should I have to put myself through humiliation when it's only a crappy PASS lesson that doesn't mean anything?'

So I say to my teacher 'Miss, do I really have to do this?"
"Of course you do, Maddy. Now what product have you chosen?"
Okay. Five minutes later.
"Miss, I really, really, really don't want to do this."
"Why not?"
"Because...I just don't want to. Please don't make me."
"Well eveyone else is. You can't be any different."

So I ask to go to the toilet. When I get there I literally start to panic. My breathing went all funny and I was seriously freaking out so much that I thought about just running out of school. But I'd left my bag and jacket in the classroom. So I had to go back.

Two minutes before I have to go up and present something me and my partner did not have, my breathing goes so fast that I can't control myself. My partner tells the teacher that I'm hyperventilating or some shit and the teacher takes me outside. That's when I just burst into tears and couldn't stop. She took me to the nurse's office where I made a fool of myself by explaining my phobia of performing to a woman who pretended to understand but looked really bored.

I didn't tell my friends because I knew they wouldn't understand it at all. I'm just so sick of teachers taking no consideration for anyone - I can't count the times I've been forced onto the stage by my sadistic year 9 drama teacher telling me it will 'be good for me'. Shit. So I was wondering if there was anyone else on this forum who hates doing a certain activity, and if you were forced into doing it ever? I need advice on how to get out of it without ended up sobbing to the school nurse.

Man, I'm so pissed to be back to this.

[W.O.L.F.P.A.N.Z.E.R]

whats your gender?

[returnal]

W.O.L.F.P.A.N.Z.E.R Wrote:whats your gender?

Useful post you got there.

If you don't like it that much, don't say "just because." Tell them a bit why.
Even now, I have no idea why you didn't want to do the thing.

[W.O.L.F.P.A.N.Z.E.R]

no she goes to a school in england and our society is gender based so to combat the shit he/she has to go through will be decided on what his/her gender is.

[IllusoryDeath]

Getting up in front of the class for a speech is not one of my most favorable pastimes. -.- This year, for example, everyone in English has to give a 15 minute oral presentation analyzing two-four short stories written by 1-2 authors. And by short-stories, I mean short, so not that much to go on for fifteen minutes. It wouldn't be so bad if it was actually helping me with anything in my future life. Learning to speak in front of people for a minute or two about something that actually pertains to you, sure, but for 15 min. on an analysis? I don't know about anyone else, but I do not learn how to feel more comfortable speaking to a group of people by giving a speech in front of them & practically shitting myself beforehand - especially when the presentation is about absolutely nothing of interest to myself.

Yeah, not lookin' forward to that....

[Amortisatie]

I DESPISE going up in front of the class, I just freeze up and stand there, not saying anything

[aerftghyjk]

Amortisatie Wrote:I DESPISE going up in front of the class, I just freeze up and stand there, not saying anything

Eh... kinda the same here.

Off Topic: Welcome back Maddy. I remember reading some posts of yours before.

[username01462781]

I really, really hate speaking in front of people. I mean I'm a excellent talker in conversations and can do it in front of friends only. But reading a paragraph of a book in english class? Hell no.

I remember in year 5 in primary school, my teacher always chose people randomly to read out their stories that they have written. I always put my head down so nobody would know I was there. But he knew I didn't like reading and yet he still made me read it one day. I said no, but then he said if you don't the whole class won't go out to lunch. I kept on saying no and ignored the threat but it got too much for me and I too broke down crying. And I finally read the story. Everyone supported me and all that but I still felt like shit.

I've kinda gotten over stage fright but I'm not going to be the first to volunteer. Whenever I get scared I tell myself "why are you scared of reading? Grow some balls" but I still get the shakes. I understand how the teachers don't care and say "it will help you get over it". That's bullshit and you shouldn't be forced into doing something you don't want to do.

Another reason why school sucks in general.

[AWOL]

If an assignment/class project/piece of homework requires an oral presenation, I generally don't do it. That speech on my hero was a very rare exception.

[Lap Sio]

I agree with linki completely. Pretty much every teacher uses the "It will help you get over it" excuse.

[Maddy]

By the way, I'm female. I'm not really sure what that has to do with it...but yeah

[aaaaaaasd]

I assumed male due to avatar. Sorry.

[Elfy]

I've been sent up many times in front of the class and it seems to give me a huge confident boost and I'm much more outgoing than I used to be. But there was a time when I'd stand up in front of the class terrified, shaking like mad, I think most of us know how it feels...

Your teacher also sounds like a bitch.

Quote:"Miss, I really, really, really don't want to do this."
"Why not?"
"Because...I just don't want to. Please don't make me."
"Well eveyone else is. You can't be any different."

This makes me mad. Everyone is different.

[monkey]

Im Ok'ish with standing up and talking to a class. But I have a horrible phobia of doing softball/kickball in gym class. Why? Because I suck at sports and I'm horribly afraid that everyone will make fun of me for doing a shitty job and missing the ball. So I know how you feel.

[Coma Girl]

im kinda different. If i were in the situation, i probablu would've chosen not to go up infront of everyone, but i just don't think of it. If i fuck up, or if i get scared and say something stupid, i laugh it off later because honeslt,y its not worth getting all messed up in it. no stress.

[Xavier Crivios]

The only time I really actually do something that involves me talking to the entire class is when we do the "whole class reading the book at once" deal because I can't stand that everyone who volunteers to read can't pronounce simple words. When I have to do big presentations, I try to do everything in my power to squeeze my way out of it.

[Darkstripe]

I get the same way. When I go in front of people I start shaking and I start stammering and look like an idiot. Around friends I am very talkative but in front of people I don't know well..I hate eyes being on me. xD I did do really well on some presentations I had, but that was in a small class with like, five people. xD I know. Learning Strategies class never had many students, and I knew pretty much everyone and the teacher was real nice so I was really cool about it. Some teachers and students make it easier on me. Still, it's hard, and I hate how we often have no choice but to get up to the front.

Boy, since I'm taking a year off I have to look for a job. I don't know how I'll do the job interviews. I guess the positive side is they don't know me and I can act with more confidence, it will still be tough though.

[Quicksilver]

I'm okay getting up in front of the class, and am actually pretty good at it, save for one situation: When we have to read out loud something we wrote ourselves. Hang on, it's more specific than that. Let me explain: Opinions in political science? I'm good. Articles in science about bubonic plauge? I'm good, because all i'm doing is reciting facts. But in English and Drama, when we have to read out loud things we have created from scratch ourselves? I feel like wetting myself.

In Drama class, i was very good at acting out other peoples plays. But one day we had to write a kind of...morality play. We picked...not emotion, but something close to it. Rage, Misery, Greed, Sin, Sadness, Happiness, get the idea? Well stupidly i picked Wrath and got carried away writing because i love to write.

It should be noted that i have no trouble showing my work to people i don't know. It's odd, but if you walked up to a stranger and gave them a piece of my work i'd be excited to hear what they say. But if it was someone i knew....I guess i feel like...That people i know already has an image of me as this calm, tranquil, slightly dorky girl. But when you see my work it often relects on deep, sometimes dark but not always, ideas. And when people see all these things i've written, these things that really make me up, it clashes with their idea of me. And from then on the look at me like I'm a total freak. Either that or they totally laugh or blow of what i wrote and make me feel like shit.

But back to the topic, so i realize i'm going to have to do this in front of classmates. And it should be known the councilers sometimes drop kids in random electives if the kids don't care enough to pick there own. This ruins it for the kids who are actually interested in the class because we get mocked by these obnoxious idiots who don't give a shit. (Why i think truency is pointless: it keeps kids in class who don't want to be there and this either 1) takes away options from kids who want to learn their own things, and/or 2) since we are forced to go to school, when you stick disruptive kids into some of the presious FEW classes we actually find interesting, it takes even MORE opportunities from us, because they are distrubing the classes we are trying to observe.)

So i get up on stage and i'm terrifed. I have to embody MY concept of wrath...meaning i have to act like this vicious, vengence driven creature. And i did it, and i ended up getting an A on it. But the whole time my legs felt like they were going to buckel, my hands shook for a whole period afterwards and i felt like i was going to pass out....yeah, not fun. I felt humiliated.

[Hanny]

I don't really have stage fright. I'm an attention whore... xD But yeah, if it bothers you just pretend you're talking to a friend, find a focal point on the wall - perhaps a clock - and talk bullshit. I've won presentation competitions by using the 'OKay, we both know I'm talking bullshit, but please pretend to listen' approach.

Try and remember, as much as you don't want to do it, most of the time your audience is so bored of the other acts they don't want to watch you anyway.

[musicmylife]

OMG reading, acting or doing any form of presentations infront of the class are horrible. i am an incredibly chatty person infact i get in alot of shit because of it but anything like presentations i cant do. if someone looks at me normally in certain situations i freeze up, go completely red and then my voice goes all weird. in group work i work on say the poster but then refuse to say anything in the presentation. if its individual work i will try really hard to get out of it infact i once poured water over it so i wouldnt have to and yet the teacher still made me- that was hell, having nothing to read from making an idiot out of myself infront of the whole class and being marked on it!!! i hate that sort of stuff, let the people who dont mind doing it do it, leave me to sit there and listen.

[John Tuttle]

Coma Girl Wrote:im kinda different. If i were in the situation, i probablu would've chosen not to go up infront of everyone, but i just don't think of it. If i fuck up, or if i get scared and say something stupid, i laugh it off later because honeslt,y its not worth getting all messed up in it. no stress.

Agreed. I consider my self quite good at bs'ing these kind of projects.

[Spot-ify]

I am quiet confident in say drama but I hate reading in front of people. Strange, I am not very confident with my voice so that is probably why.

[AWOL]

I just found out that 25% of our grade consists of a single speech, and if we don't do it we get an 'N', which makes us not get a copy of our school certificate. So basically we lose any hope of a future we may or may not have had over something that scares the absolute fuck out of me.

[username01462781]

^That is absolute bullshit. Even more reason to hate school.

[IllusoryDeath]

AWOL Wrote:I just found out that 25% of our grade consists of a single speech, and if we don't do it we get an 'N', which makes us not get a copy of our school certificate. So basically we lose any hope of a future we may or may not have had over something that scares the absolute fuck out of me.

That IS utter BS. >_> My speech that is coming up in a couple of weeks counts for 25% of my overall grade, too, even though it is part of the IB curriculum and not the 'regular' English class. If I don't do it, then I don't get the 1/2 English credit this semester and will have to take summer school if I want to graduate. Summer school is never going to happen (as in, FUCKING NEVER). So, 15-minute-presentation-and-discussion, here I come. Hopefully I won't vomit on my note cards. :\

[AWOL]

Really? I just get a boner. Meh, good thing I know how to hide it. Picturing the good looking ones naked actually does help, it's a psychological thing. You're normally relaxed when you're thinking of people naked, so your mind relaxes, it's in one of it's comfort zones.