I don't understand how to talk with people about their problems

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode I don't understand how to talk with people about their problems
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brainiac3397 Offline

Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #3

I don't understand how to talk with people about their problems

I only interfere to help a person with their problems when I decide it to be warranted. My belief is that a person should be able to overcome most of their difficulties themselves in order to strenghten their will and give themselves insight.

So if it looks like the person can get it under control, I'll still seek to determine and hear the problems but I won't try to offer ways to fix it. In the end there is no way for me to be capable of determining what their experiences, feelings, and thoughts are to offer the most effective advice. Best I can do is help them gain insight to their own problems(because many with problems are too clouded by problem to be aware of the problem and thus capable of resolving).

So when I tell a person to leave me alone or forget about it, it's because I'm going through a sort of meditative process to contain the situation, analyze it, and resolve it(either through some positive action or just totally dumping the burden thus cleaning the slate).

Personality DNA Report