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I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

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"Your not reaching your full potential"
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craxyguy562 Offline
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Post: #1
"Your not reaching your full potential"

No matter how many times I try to tell my therapist I am not capable of getting straight A's in school, she keeps insisting that I can and that I'm just not just "reaching my full potential". In a way she does have a point, If I tried hard enough I could "reach my full potential" in something I like such as art, but something I'm not into and suck at like math. probably not likely to happen. Back to the topic, how can I tell my therapist that "there are things I'm good at and things that I am not." Also how does she know what my "full potential" is? Who the hell does she think she is? Going around telling me what I'm good at, she barely knows me!

(P.S.: I'm not that open to my therapist, she judges me too much.)

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03-08-2014 04:25 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #2
"Your not reaching your full potential"

A judging therapist is a bad one. The whole idea is to remain as objective as possible to make observations of your patient, then rationally come up with something.

When you start judging, you just take a short-cut and forgo the observation phase.

It's like trying to prove a hypothesis in science without bothering to experiment, borrowing only upon existing thought(which wouldn't help because if you don't experiment, you won't gather data).

Can't you just tell your therapist she sucks and threaten to report her inefficiencies to the whatever society/council/association of therapists and stuff?(sometimes people forget what they're supposed to be doing)

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03-08-2014 04:53 AM
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Missile Offline
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Post: #3
"Your not reaching your full potential"

My mom is like that with me and my brothers. She just can't realize that a 86 in math, art, and language arts is all I can get.

Wake up people, and look at life around you
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03-08-2014 05:22 AM
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darkmind15 Offline
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Post: #4
"Your not reaching your full potential"

things like this piss me off im not going to change my ways cause of your fucked up ideals of what I need
03-08-2014 05:46 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #5
RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

In short, I think we need to create materials to educate therapists, along with parents and educators, about different ways to think about their roles.. and the actual needs of the people they're trying to help.

I posted this to G+ to see what a wider range of people say: link.

Maybe we could do a short Hangout-on-Air on this topic in particular, perhaps as part of a Screenstorming/Conversation community collaboration.

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03-08-2014 07:25 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #6
"Your not reaching your full potential"

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03-08-2014 07:45 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

I think the first step here is to reframe the concept of "one's potential."



Watch on YouTube

There's the question of whether and how one can do better in school... but try zooming the question out from there. How many aspects of one's potential aren't even captured by the metrics of per-subject letter grades on a report card?

A therapist, in particular, should look at your potential beyond the confines of school's system of grades.

What are your interests? What would you like to learn about, get better at, and do? What might you explore that you aren't already familiar with?

Those are all questions a therapist should consider.

Here's an article on that topic by psychiatrist Ed Hallowell, which you might benefit from reading, and even sharing with your therapist and your parents:

How Brain Science Can Save You From The Wrong Job

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As a child psychiatrist, I’m asked every day to help a struggling young person do better. For example, I recently saw a boy I’ll call Tommy, who was floundering in sixth grade in spite of increasingly vehement exhortations from his teachers and parents to try harder.
I could see how downcast he was, so I immediately turned to a process I’ve developed for kids like him. It began with figuring out what he liked to do (build things and play guitar) and what he was good at (maths, science, music, and hands-on projects) and urging him to do those things more often.

I also arranged for him to be switched out of a class where there was a clear conflict with the teacher and into one where he felt more at ease, and I advised the adults in his life to make sure he was imaginatively engaged in the classroom, not just sitting there, bored. I told them to challenge Tommy but not in a punishing way; the message should be “I’m asking more from you because I know you have it in you.” Within weeks, he was working harder and was even eager to go to school. He started to receive positive feedback, which fuelled his desire to work harder still.


Also, you might want to read through this article, and consider sharing it, or parents of it, with your therapist and/or parents:

The Ten Signs You Need to Find a Different Kind of Education for Your Child (AERO, the Alternative Education Resource Organization, is a supporter of democratic schools and learner-centric education.)

I'd also suggest asking your therapist more questions. Think of yourself as a researcher, journalist, or therapist. Find out what life was like for her growing up. What did she think of school? What did she like or dislike about it? When did she become interested in being a therapist?

The better an understanding you can get of your parents and therapist, the better position you'll be in to have meaningful conversations with them, and possible help them to look at things in new ways.

How often do you see your therapist? Do you think it'd be feasible for you to show her articles, or suggest she watch videos like Ken Robinson's Changing Education Paradigms?

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Based on her reaction to that video, and articles like the one I linked, it might be possible to figure out what next steps to take in this journey (Razz) through the Land of Adventure...

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03-08-2014 08:13 AM
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craxyguy562 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

About google hangout. My parents threatened to take my laptop away if I don't raise my C's and D's in a week or two. So After a week or two I might not be able to join google hangouts.

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03-08-2014 09:05 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

Another reason what letter grades are one of the root problems with education, straight-up. They're the only indicator many parents even consider when it comes to getting feedback about their kids.

This has to change.

In the meantime, crazyguy, what classes are you doing poorly in? What do you have to do to raise your grades?

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03-08-2014 09:20 AM
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craxyguy562 Offline
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RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

All of them exept computers and creative writing. Razz. And I probably
need to do a bunch of extra credit and worksheets.

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03-08-2014 09:33 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #11
"Your not reaching your full potential"

It almost seems to me like the therapist might have been trying to make you feel better... like she perhaps thought that you actually wanted to get A's, but thought you couldn't. I don't know her though.

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154bmag Offline
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Post: #12
"Your not reaching your full potential"

Your therapist is just spitting out old cliches. As if straight A's = Full potential

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03-08-2014 04:47 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

(03-08-2014 09:41 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  It almost seems to me like the therapist might have been trying to make you feel better... like she perhaps thought that you actually wanted to get A's, but thought you couldn't. I don't know her though.

It's also possible that his parents have made it clear what they want out of therapy.

@crazyguy, is that part of what's happening?

Situations like this are one reason I think we need a network of therapists who (1) understand cognitive refugees, a.k.a. those who don't fit in typical school environments, and (2) are willing to engage in dialogue with a clients personal learning network, a.k.a., us in this case.

Then, we might be able to get direct answers about what everyone's goals and intentions are, as well as consider better ways to accomplish things.

In the meantime, though, @crazyguy, I think it's worth taking the steps to get your grades up to at least adequate (to the extent you're capable and can stand it.) That way, your learning outside of school won't be disrupted by those unfortunate behavioral punishments. :/

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craxyguy562 Offline
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RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

Thanks

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03-09-2014 02:46 AM
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rockstarjim22 Offline
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Post: #15
RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

My parents give me the same bullshit. I'm actually trying my hardest but they say i'm not. Parents just don't understand.
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03-09-2014 03:16 AM
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Post: #16
RE: "Your not reaching your full potential"

I actually have a suggestion for the grades:
Buy a few notebooks and try to right any important factoids that you know you're going to forget. This way, you'll have the information yet you won't have to try to pay that much attention.

Also, for those math quizzes..... pretty much follow my advice, and write little cheat sheets. you can check. Conceal them the best you can. No one said all good grades are honest grades.

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03-09-2014 03:21 AM
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