Two classes = I get shit on

[Dirtbikemike]

I am failing 2 classes. Just. Enough to piss off my dad nonetheless. 56% in English and 59.7% in Trig. The biggest problem for him is that I don't nearly do "enough" homework. "Enough" meaning all of it. I continuously lie to him about doing it to get him off my back and it annoyed him enough that I finally received punishment.

While I was at school, mind you, he simply disconnected my computer from all plugs and lifted it away. He also took my simulation racing wheel.

Here's where I bitch and moan.

I paid for the computer. It's actually mine. I worked for the $500 dollars in parts at my job. So he takes it away. I would sue, of course, but minors in the US have no rights, therefore the computer still legally (definitely not morally, though) belongs to him.

Fuck that

The simulation racing wheel was a birthday present from my mom that may be the first gift that I haven't put away after a week in my life. I feel guilty about that but it's true. I've used it so much. Bringing so much enjoyment to me, so much knowledge, and so much experience I can use in the real world if I can achieve my goal, my passion, of being a racing driver.

Well those two things are gone in a location I explicitly asked for and he denied to tell me. They supposedly aren't in the house.

The deal (well, really, authority imposed deal. Not even a deal. There was no compromise and I tried) is, I have to do all of my homework for 15 days, from 12/4 to 12/19. No ifs, ands, or buts.

The thing is he isn't checking every day. He's checking after the 15 days. And for every assignment missed, a day is added to my punishment. If all is done, I get my computer and wheel back on the 19th.

Thoughts? Do I need to explain more?

[James Comey]

I hate parents like that. The worst my family gives me is a lecture about me needing to raise my grades. Damn, I'm lucky not to have authoritative parents who can be assholes.

[brainiac3397]

Don't do shit. There are only so many days he can add before dying(or you failing out of school).

[Dirtbikemike]

(12-05-2013 12:54 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  I hate parents like that. The worst my family gives me is a lecture about me needing to raise my grades. Damn, I'm lucky not to have authoritative parents who can be assholes.

Yep. Completely authoritarian "my way or the highway (or back to my mom's because he can't take the responsibility of dealing with me)"

(12-05-2013 01:41 PM)Mr205man Wrote:  Your dad said you just have to do all your work so you could half ass it. I don't know how your school works but they don't show the percentage at my school. At least I think that's how it works. I never check and don't do my homework lmao

I all over half-assing it. As long as I do it. I have to be passing by the end of the quarter to get my license in February too. Then A's and B's in the next quarter for something else I forget. Then A's and B's for the end of the last quarter to go to summer camp.

(12-05-2013 04:26 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Don't do shit. There are only so many days he can add before dying(or you failing out of school).

I mentioned he will withhold my license from me. That will get in the way of my racing dreams. I see this as it doesn't matter as long as I can follow my dream. Grades? PSHH! Good enough so I can race. As long as I can race. And drive for that matter. I've become quite the motoring enthusiast in the past year or two. I love cars. Probably explains why I want to race them too. I understand them deeper than a tool to get from Point A to Point B. It's not about how expensive they are or how fantastic they look, for me it's the adrenaline. I could talk about this in a whole different thread.

The summer camp part, though, is going to piss me the fuck off . My license would too, but camp is something so much bigger than grades. It's about being a better person. It's not anything close to the institution school is. It's one of the greatest places I know of. It's a big family.

[l1qu1d]

Damn, that sucks. Honestly can't say much but good luck though can't you just tell him that all these grades will not help you in your ideal career? (I like racing, too :3 Not as deep as you though but the adrenaline is definitely something I need - I literally get a hype over watching Formula 1 XD)

[brainiac3397]

Burn the house down by mistake. They take your license, you DESTROY DA HOUSE. However its likely that if you laugh at their shock while the house burns, they might suspect it was you and you'll either go to juvie or get sent to a mental institution to fix your arsonist problems.

[l1qu1d]

(12-06-2013 09:58 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Burn the house down by mistake. They take your license, you DESTROY DA HOUSE. However its likely that if you laugh at their shock while the house burns, they might suspect it was you and you'll either go to juvie or get sent to a mental institution to fix your arsonist problems.

I would do this.

[brainiac3397]

So would I.

[Ky]

My parents took my laptop a few times even though I paid for it. They were disappointed with my grades as well.

Parents do these things out of worry. It doesn't make it right, but just know that that's their reason. They're trying to do what's best for you in their own, twisted, small-minded way.

[brainiac3397]

I hate it when my mother takes my laptop. It pisses me off and the issue is that she'll take it for things totally irrelevant to the problem/arguement we're having. It seems like her theory is that the computer is the reason for every mistake I make. Reasons it enrages me is:
1-It's mine...
2-I NEED to have access to a computer. My standard usage is usually school work, then rest with some video game, then get bored of playing and watch some videos on youtube, then get tired of the videos and get back to the work. However, when my mother looks all she seems to get from my usage is "game-game-game-game-game-game", even when I'm obviously not playing.
3-Because it's absurdly immature. "har har har THEN I TAKE UR COMPUTAH! NOW U LERN LESSON!".

[Trar]

Do you think he would have stored it in the house? A desktop/racing wheel is hard to miss. If I were you, I'd arrange to be home alone and then turn the house upside-down. Or look for evidence of it being in some sort of for-rent storage unit.

Half-assing your 'work' helps too.

[xcriteria]

(12-06-2013 11:51 AM)DoA Wrote:  My parents took my laptop a few times even though I paid for it. They were disappointed with my grades as well.

Ugh... grades... why do people still obsess over these totally irrelevant letters in 2013? It'll be 2014 in less than a month!

When will this archaic system of evaluating people end?

Here's a quote from a Justin, a teacher, on this topic:

So from teachers and students alike, there was yelling, labeling, and whining about grades.

I'd rather talk about learning than yell about grades any day ... but that's not what factory-model schools do.

http://joyfullatinlearning.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/right-time-right-place-ii

How can we change the conversation? Or can we change the conversation? How do you find time and place to talk meaningfully about learning when the whole structure around you is devoted to something else?

Let's figure this out, no?

(12-06-2013 11:51 AM)DoA Wrote:  My parents do these things out of worry. It doesn't make it right, but just know that that's their reason. They're trying to do what's best for you in their own, twisted, small-minded way.

True, and that's important to keep in mind. It's not an evil conspiracy, so much as a sad state of affairs among parents who want their kids to do well... even if you don't like their definition of "well."

[brainiac3397]

To make matters worse, it gets worse in college(the grading system).

Some places get easy grades for doing nothing, other places its impossible to get an A, others put artifical caps(Princeton only allows 35% of class to get an A, which is absurd. What happens if 40% deserve it?). Pass/fail had something to do with suicides(Ill have to go back and read the article).

The problem in my opinion is grading non-mathematical work. Mathematics is a guaranteed category.1+1 will always be 2. If only graded for answer and not work, you will either get it right or you will get it wrong. However, when it comes to written essays and research papers and reports and discussion papers, grading becomes something subjective.

My opinion is that work handed in should not be graded. The teacher should go over, point out mistakes, and mark the paper based on number of errors. However, handing in the assignment on time(no late work permitted. You already get a 100 for handing it in) will be mandatory and the written paper must still adhere to the sef guidelines(so if you have to cite, there better be a citation page. If it says x many pages in y font, it must be done that way). 4 broad guideline rules(generally speaking:on topic,right format,citations? and something). Whatever it is, the grading will be based on following the basic rules(rules? yes. But these rules dont impede your freedom on writing.

Then there will be a test or four. Multiple choice with an "other" option(in case you want to write a free response because you dont think the four choices are accurate enough or something). MC because it doesnt make it totally subjective, but with ability of open answer for students to clarify answer or give their own they consider more accurate.

Of course this system will need to be tested and modified depending on subject, but at least its a possible alternative. You get graded for doing the work, but what decides whether you fail or pass are the tests. Extracred can be an essay on a topic or something.

[Dirtbikemike]

(12-06-2013 11:51 AM)DoA Wrote:  Parents do these things out of worry. It doesn't make it right, but just know that that's their reason. They're trying to do what's best for you in their own, twisted, small-minded way.

The "best" really isn't the best, is it? Sad and depressed. Deprived of my passions, goals, dreams? Really? The best? Or is it the most? The most job opportunities, the most money, the most stuff. Is it really the best? No. Of course it's the best in their eyes, and "...they think, stupidly"* trying to get me to do what's best in their eyes is best for me. It's simply not. Only I know what's best for me in the same way only you know what's best for you.

*Completely unrelated quote but it was what I heard in my mind when I typed it. Jean-Marie Balestre during a drivers' meeting in the movie "Senna"

[brainiac3397]

The problem of taking over responsibility of another is that the one taking responsibility begins to forget that the one they're responsible for is still capable of being independent and making independent decisions. With parents it goes one step beyond and they begin seeing their offspring as just being another them, and thus try to live their own fantasies out through their kids. Their so-called "best" is actually what they considered best for themselves through the kids, thus are being selfish and arrogant in doing so.

[Trar]

(12-09-2013 10:30 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  The problem of taking over responsibility of another is that the one taking responsibility begins to forget that the one they're responsible for is still capable of being independent and making independent decisions. With parents it goes one step beyond and they begin seeing their offspring as just being another them, and thus try to live their own fantasies out through their kids. Their so-called "best" is actually what they considered best for themselves through the kids, thus are being selfish and arrogant in doing so.

This seems like something for a parent to tape to his or her computer or what not. Like I've seen people tape their passwords or Biblical psalms on their laptops.

[Dirtbikemike]

(12-09-2013 10:30 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  The problem of taking over responsibility of another is that the one taking responsibility begins to forget that the one they're responsible for is still capable of being independent and making independent decisions. With parents it goes one step beyond and they begin seeing their offspring as just being another them, and thus try to live their own fantasies out through their kids. Their so-called "best" is actually what they considered best for themselves through the kids, thus are being selfish and arrogant in doing so.

Can you find someone important in history that might have also said that so I can print it in large letters and tape it to my dad's computer monitor? That would be awesome.

[brainiac3397]

It'll at least remind them not to overstep the boundary between "being responsible for" vs "running their life".

I know I won't have that issue, since it's pretty much a part of my personality(thus the only way it would change would be if I suffered some catastrophic brain damage that rewired my neurons, or suffered total/semi-total amnesia). I'd call it a part of my "core philosophy".

[Ky]

(12-09-2013 09:50 AM)Dirtbikemike Wrote:  

(12-06-2013 11:51 AM)DoA Wrote:  Parents do these things out of worry. It doesn't make it right, but just know that that's their reason. They're trying to do what's best for you in their own, twisted, small-minded way.

The "best" really isn't the best, is it? Sad and depressed. Deprived of my passions, goals, dreams? Really? The best? Or is it the most? The most job opportunities, the most money, the most stuff. Is it really the best? No. Of course it's the best in their eyes, and "...they think, stupidly"* trying to get me to do what's best in their eyes is best for me. It's simply not. Only I know what's best for me in the same way only you know what's best for you.

*Completely unrelated quote but it was what I heard in my mind when I typed it. Jean-Marie Balestre during a drivers' meeting in the movie "Senna"

Precisely. This understanding, though, simply cannot be reasoned by most parents - it is not within their capacity to place this above worry.

The question is, how can you work with them? Will you lie to them? Pretend to conform? Bow to their demands only as long as you have to? The choice is up to you.