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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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I Be Befuddled
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #1
I Be Befuddled

Well. I had a discussion paper(single page single spaced 12 font. Approx 650-750 words total really when I'm done) to write for my anthropology class. We have 3 total, and I've written 2(I'm going to turn the 3rd in late, because I missed it. Eh..).

Now. The first one I spent some time trying to write and it was a bitch. We have to compare-contrast two articles/readings, both the subjects and how they were written. Problem here was that the first two readings were pretty vague and complicated, and I couldn't figure out where to start(or even how to start). The deadline is at noon on the day BEFORE it's due(so class on monday, writing due sunday noon), and I was up 9am doing the reading and writing. I spent two hours reading, and the last hour trying to figure out what to write. Well, suddenly I made a connection 30 minutes in, and barely submitted it in time.

Surprisingly, the professor liked it(she posts them onto this thing called Moodle, and the essays she likes she puts an asterisk next to the file. Often it's only 1-2 people of possibly 8-12). So I said "beginners luck".

Well, I did the same today. Except this time I started work at 10:45am. I was eating my breakfast, watching TV and doing my reading at the exact same time. I decided that I didn't have enough time, so I only read the first 2 pages of both readings, then just quickly skimmed the rest. So now I have 40 minutes to write when I didn't even finish reading.

Well, I finally finish. At least I'll have handed something in. Well...when I go onto the site to check if she read and posted up the essays, I find mine with an asterisk.

It's like putting together a car engine together using household material and junk, then learning you're engine won the design competition. I guess I've done so much work near-deadline, I've become a professional :laugh:

Though I'd probably do even better if I start early, as I learned for another class.

Has anyone ever had those times where you know you did bad, to learn you did pretty damn good? And I don't mean the humble "Oh, I did bad". I mean the "Shit I forgot to study and Im going to fail this thing!" or "Oh crap I have class in one hour and I need to write a 4 page discussion paper! I'ma fail with what I hand in".

tl;dr
Brainiac is one lucky S.O.B that can take a lemon and use it to create an industrial empire...hypothetically speaking.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
11-18-2013 02:55 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #2
I Be Befuddled

The Force has been with you this week. Laugh

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
11-19-2013 01:59 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I Be Befuddled

Maybe it's due to all the practice reading and writing on School Survival. ;p

I've had situations like that, too. With writing, if you get a good idea, and are familiar with writing, it's not unheard of to be able to dump out your idea in 700 words in a pretty short period of time. Some exams at the college level are actually done like that, timed essays.

I actually like working like that, vs. having to spend a week or more "doing an assignment" that could be done in a short period of time.

To me, one question is, why can't the other students get an asterisk... what skills or abilities are they missing? It'd help if your teacher explained why the ones she selected are good. Too much of school is based on just evaluating things, and basically "sorting and filtering" people according to ability and performance level, rather than really helping people learn and grow in their abilities.

So, some people are just good (some combination of talent, past experiences, and effort), and maybe they learn some in the classes, but something's missing.

The problem that poses is that you aren't necessarily pushing the boundaries of your abilities, nor are those who didn't get an asterisk. The goal is do the required assignments, deal with your grade (good or bad) and move on with your credits on the incessant march toward your degree.

(End rant about school-as-usual. Smile)

But yeah, that feeling of surprise in response to a "that's good!" when you didn't expect to do well is an interesting one. One risk in that, though, is a phenomenon called self-handicapping, where people consciously or unconsciously sabotage their performance, so they can later say "well, I didn't really try, and look how well I did given that."

Not that you're doing that here, but it's something to keep in mind. In many college classes, standards are either ridiculously low or ridiculously high, and not all that much learning really occurs, relative to what people could do in the same amount of time. Sort of like earlier levels of school, but with a bit more room to learn and grow.

If you want to develop your writing ability and get more feedback, think beyond just the assignments school provides. Even writing on School Survival or elsewhere can be adapted into portfolio items, or you could hypothetically pay people (professors or otherwise) to provide feedback on your work beyond what you happen to get in school.

If you haven't seen it, this talk from Sebastian Thrun hits on a range of topics related to higher ed, and that issue of "sorting and filtering" vs. challenging the whole class to get up to "A" level. Thrun put in the first big MOOC, and launched Udacity based on what he learned teaching the class. (What A level even means is a topic to discuss further, but that talk is a start.)

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TL;DR: brainiac has writing ability and probably more practice reading and writing than his classmates, so he doesn't have to work hard to write an above-average 700 word walls of text relative to other college students. Razz Or, maybe the particular questions just clicked write in brainiac's head during the race against the clock.

(That reminds me, I tend to be more motivated and capable when I have time pressure of some kind... so that might be part of the picture here, as well.)

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(This post was last modified: 11-19-2013 02:09 AM by xcriteria.)
11-19-2013 02:05 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I Be Befuddled

The theory of self-handicapping is interesting. I know I dont do it, though I am somewhat lazy(For some weird reason, Im more active when Im alone then living with my family...) but I think I know someone who did that.

My college has a writing center where volunteer students and staff will go over your writings with you and help out.

She usually gives the asterisks to essays she finds possessing either a unique point she didnt see(The readings she gives are ones she has not only read but analyzed) or analyzing in a way different way. I did something like that for my crw class. Instead of simply doing what most people would do and agreeing with the author, I agreed with some parts and gave criticisms of why I disagreed with most parts. Obviously I ended up getting an email from the professor saying how much my writing had improved(Basically I was writing at about my max level, since the last two essays I didnt devote as much time as I would have liked)

Grades have never been that important to me. When people get all worked up about grades, Im mostly "Yeah...grades...good..."(then again my answer to anything that requires a good/bad answer is always good or fine because I dont think it influences my life enough). Sure IL worry if it goes below my personal expectations, but I wont turn into a nervous babbling wreck.

I agree about my writing experience. Ive written so much over a course of probably 4-5 years.

Time pressure is motivating to write, but my usual strategy is preparing a mental outline of what to write, the use the time.pressure to churn out the writing. So Il write something the day before(limited to a max of 10 pages double spaced, anymore and Il have to knock it back a day or more) but have the general thesis and information to fill it out.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
11-19-2013 02:49 AM
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