I Might be in a fight.

[danielleib]

I Have this bully at school he picks on me and my friends i know i can take him in a fight and i really want to stop this,i wanna somehow stop him without violance but it seems the knuckle-head only knows pain i am trained in capoeira and jujitsu and i was wondering if any of you had tips.


Edit:I am sorry if i diden't put it in the right forum

[Night]

I may be clouded considering I'm a pacifist.

But unless he goes after you I suggest not doing anything.
Especially while in school.

Let him start the fight if there ever is one. Becuase if he starts it and you beat the shit out of him, I just feel like it looks better than you starting it. It looks more like the big guy picking on the little guy if you start it and you beat the shit out of him. Better to make it look like the arrogant prick started a fight with the wrong guy.

[brainiac3397]

Beat the crap out of him when he least expects it, then let everyone know that if you see any little guys getting bullied, you will beat the crap out of all of them[the bullies]. Then lean in to the face of your ass-kicked bully and whisper to him that if he knows whats best for him, he'd better not cause any problems or the next time you'll break his bones.

Then again I'm more the psycho-berserker that peacefully waits to break skulls, if diplomacy fails. Though no diplomacy for bullies, and people whose actions I just despise. For them, one warning then I attack.

[Subb]

I'm going to cautiously say yes. Bullies pick on the vunerable, and fighting him will take the vunerability away.

Don't start it though. That's a bad idea. Wait for him to start it, and then give him hell.

[Ky]

Don't fight. Your school's disciplinary policy will screw you over when it comes down to it, especially if this bully is on a sports team.

[154bmag]

Fight him, but don't make the first move. Let him swing first, then fight.

[xcriteria]

Questions:

What exactly is he doing?

How long has this being going on?

Do you know why?

Is it just you and your friends, or are others involved?

Do the school authorities have any awareness of this, and have they taken any steps?

What's this guy's story?

[James Comey]

I'm not sure if your school has this, but one incredibly easy way to avoid bullies is to simply have lunch in a teachers' classroom. They won't do jack shit to you because as a general rule, bullies are cowards, and they're probably afraid of getting caught. That solves the problem for lunch, at least.

[danielleib]

So as i expected we fought i came to my clasroom from recess and i saw him beating the hell out of my friend i asked someone what was happening he said my friend tried to stand up against him saying sexist and hurtful things about my friends girlfriend so i pushed him away he slapped me so i punched him and we both got ready in the fight what generally happened was that he threw alot of quite girlish blows (slaps and punches in a circle) i got a few really good hits on him he might have a black eye; later i followed a teacher to take our half math test and i met him he gave me the middle finger i called him a wuss and when we went by each other (it was mid following the teacher) he punched me it diden't hurt at all actually and i just stopped her and said "Did you just see he punched me" my glasses fell off and i coulden't do my test he went around telling everybody i was crying which pissed me off i told her that she shouldn't do anything and il deal with it now everybody thinks im a pussy that he "won" i know he would keep doing everything all the shit he does example: me playing basketball with my friends - he suddenly takes the ball and throw it at my friends face and the teachers around won't see anything. this is far from over tommorow some confrontation between us is going to occur i need some way to confront him publicly so he would stop seeing he lost,please any tips on the fighting thing?.



Questions:
1.He is beating my friends up next to teachers so he won't get punished - SOMEHOW MY FRIEND GETS SUSPENDED FOR PUSHING HIM AWAY. the teachers said and i quote "You should of waited it out and report him" "-_-
2.he has been doing this since almost start of the school year.

3.i know why - obiously im not american and it is a foreign language in my country so when i talked to my friend in english "were both pretty good" he immitated us and punched my friend
4. my friends and almost everyone cept preps and other bullies he is friends with
5.yes we have reported him and the school instantly forgives him since he is in a "special class"
not the kind for retarded and disabled people but the kind of one for people who are seriously uneducated and diden't listen in class for the last like 5 years
6. his story is that he learns at the same class with my friend picking on him and that he fails school and he failed elementary because he diden't pay attention ever
he has no problems at home he has middle upper class parents stable home and his parents smother him with love
7.it's not a lunch problem our cafeteria is really small and it eliminates all chances of bullying because there is 4 teachers there and everybody is free to eat where they want to eat




please any tips on quick take downs or something?

[brainiac3397]

eye-ear-throat-solar plex-groin-shin.

Best targets. Preferrably open palm strikes, never use fists unless you've trained your fists to become deadly weapons(you will probably end up breaking your knuckles, which will defeat the entire purpose of punching). A strike to eye can distract by temporarily blinding, ear strike done right(make a fist but hit with the inside of fist,sort of like hitting with your wrist. Slap works too) can cause pain and possibly balance loss. We all know why throat would hurt. Solar Plex can "knock the wind" out of him[caution though. If you miss, it won't work. And try not to kill him while doing it. A solid hit is fine, don't need to bash on that spot]. We know why groin would hurt(a kick usually works. Try to get the scrotum. But also don't over do it. The entire idea is to just disable him a bit to show whose boss, not murder or permanently maim). Shins hurt like hell when they're hit, even if the only damage is a bruise. I got hit in the shin once and it hurt for a week.

Have fun and don't over do it. Control your strikes(you only need to hit, no need to follow through with the momentum), keep him off-balance, try not to get hit too often, and better let him throw first strike so you can do the counter-attack(my ideal counter-attack against a simple punch is solar-plex/groin combo, shin if I can't do either. If counter-attack fails, go for ear or eye). If he's stronger, I'd keep distance so you don't get into a grapple, cause then your screwed.

[xcriteria]

This is a reminder of what the school environment can look like. It isn't pretty.

Not to excuse his behavior, but I have to ask... what's missing in his life and education that leads him to act like that? What's the source of all this? If you can get to the bottom of that, it might be more effective than just fighting.

My advice is, document what's happening. Photo, video, audio, and/or personal accounts.

I don't suggest fighting him or attempting to hurt him, especially using brainiac's suggestions. You can seriously hurt a person with some of those moves. You could destroy his life and/or get in serious trouble yourself.

Instead, fight your battle using a different approach. Build a case against his behavior and ask people if they think it's okay for people to go around acting like that. Ask the teachers what they think, and the school leadership. Actually interview them and explain that you're working on a case study of how schools and teachers deal with bullying.

Find someone involved with the press and see if they want to run a story about your problem.

All kinds of techniques like that might be more effective and make more of a statement than a vicious physical attack against someone who obviously isn't trained in fighting.

That's my take, anyway. There has to be a way to get to the root of schools filled with disengaged students who are so personally empty, bored, or in pain that they have to go around bullying people. :(

[brainiac3397]

Well. Im just giving an option and how to do it. I generally believe the individual should decide how to proceed.

Otherwise Id also be sounding as diplomatic as xcrit. And I support his position, so go with his plan before happily using mine.

Think of it as the voice of reason. The peaceful solution before pressing the big red button.

[xcriteria]

(10-24-2013 07:24 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Well. Im just giving an option and how to do it. I generally believe the individual should decide how to proceed.

Otherwise Id also be sounding as diplomatic as xcrit. And I support his position, so go with his plan before happily using mine.

Yes, learning to think in terms of options can be a good start. The individual does have to decide how to proceed, amid conflicting advice and uncertain outcomes.

Imagining those options in some detail can bring them to life and aid in decision-making.

In other words, it can help to have the Good Angel, Bad Angel trope in play, in order to make more strategic decisions.

Beyond that, it's worth thinking in terms of intention. What are your underlying goals? What about the other person, and others in a given scenario?

This leads to the various strategies that might accomplish those underlying goals?

What are risks, benefits, and costs... the pros and cons.. and all that?

(As always, it's worth asking why a few times, and see if that gets to the root of things. Every time I hear about bullying, I wonder, why does this happen? How does it relate to the failings of education?)

Often, standing up to people is the answer. The question is then how to do it.

Sometimes a verbal confrontation can be more effective than a physical one. At least consider adding a dramatic speech or monologue to any physical conflict. Sometimes actually helping people to reflect on their mindless behavior can provoke a better change than simply escalating a conflict.

(Even composing speeches and monologues can be a good exercise in sorting out your reasons and goals. Another variation would be to write the bully a letter, and give copies to the teachers, administration, and other students. Just still to the facts and issues, ask provoking questions, and refrain from ad hominem attacks.)

[xcriteria]

(10-24-2013 07:24 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Think of it as the voice of reason. The peaceful solution before pressing the big red button.

brainiac, maybe you can call your blog Big Red Button.

Hidden stuff:

Watch on YouTube

For another take on how to decide on moves, see Art of War: Sun Tzu Strategy Card Deck.

"Better weapons do not win wars. Better minds do."

How you define or frame the problem can make a big difference:

Hidden stuff:

Watch on YouTube

[brainiac3397]

Aha!
Genius.

We work well together Pinky...

[1312]

Fights... I love fights... >:-D

[Subb]

Like I said, all you need to do is make yourself invulnerable. You need to show him that you have power, and that he would get into a bad predicament if he picks on you anymore. There are peaceful ways of doing this, like going to his parents or talking about how mean he is. You are below him right now, and that's why he's picking on you. Find a way to pull him down or push yourself up, and he won't anymore.

[Ky]

(10-24-2013 01:51 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Aha!
Genius.

We work well together Pinky...

They're Pinky and the Brain(iac3397),
They're Pinky and the Brain,
One is a genius, (actually, Pinky)
The other's insane... (Brainiac, but the good kind of insane)

[brainiac3397]

Was my favorite show when I was a kid...must be where my quest for global dominance stems from.

Im not sure where Brainiac came from(and no idea what the numbers actually represent. I just decided kt sounded nice. It was first 3392 then 3395 then 3397, which I liked best). Brainiac must be from that old DC comic my father gave me(it was in a box of 70s DC comics he found when he worked in construction and was hired to demolish a house).

[Lime]

Don't fight, even in self defense. Schools don't really care whether someone had the right to strike out. Just sending everybody to detention takes a lot less time and it makes the school look better because it's "anti-violence". It's fucked up, yes, but in the end the administration isn't going to give a teleporting orangutan scat. In fact, I've heard someone (police officer, I think) that while nobody can press legal charges against you for defending yourself, the school can still discipline you depending on its own rules. How very fair. That's not transcending the law or anything...

If you have any really good teachers, see if they can do anything about the problem.

[danielleib]

The thing blew over he stopped picking on people for the last few days there is a bit of tension between us but i don't think he will be trying to confront me. if he really stopped then great but il see how the thing developes before i judge.

il update this in 4 days and tell you guys what happened and if he stopped being a bully

[danielleib]

Yep,he struck back - the bully im just gonna call him T attacked my friend when i saw it my friend fought back and i quickly ran to his aid and we beat the bully though my friend had a bleeding nose cause a vein popped.T is most likely gonna fight with my friend,im ready to fight back. it came down to this there is no going back i talked to my teacher,the principal,and some other advisors and such.they told T to fuck off (not literally) and he diden't give two shits so can you guys give me any ways to take him down quick. i thought a really powerfull kick like shawn michaels super kick should knock him out - will it work? im very flexible and my leg can reach the head/jaw area. any suggestions?....

[xcriteria]

I still don't understand why he's attacking people. Can't the authorities do more to explore what's actually going on? Just punishing people or telling them to stop doesn't tend to work, without exploring the why of what people are doing.

Bullying is a major problem, and until people change how they address it, nothing is going to change.

Is knocking him out really going to address the underlying problem, or stop the cycle of violence?

Exploring the why is potentially a more effective tool than fighting. What needs vacuum does he have? Is he bored, in pain, empty, alone, seeking power or status?

Even if you do fight... why not explore the rest of it, too? Why not ask the adults why they can't do more to address this problem?

It's just so frustrating to know how poorly situations like this are addressed. Ask him if he wants to be interviewed about why he bullies for a documentary on the topic.

Why is he fighting your friend? What's driving it?

[danielleib]

So the only reason i know it won't help is because a similar thing happned last year. i told the adults the teachers and everyone he got suspended for three days finally after chasing my friend to his home after school. im pretty sure he has some kind of mommy issues because he hates it when someone insults his mom. after he got suspended he kept on picking on us. so again teachers adults and nothing happened he diden't give a shit to what would happen to him. i explored a little my friend said he can't call his brother cause his brother hates him and maybe thats a reason ,my friend got pissed at him and cussed him the bully - T spit at him my friend just wiped it off and diden't attack him im gonna try telling a teacher for the last time il tell you how it went.

the fight between him and my friend is that they used to go to same elementary and he made my friend go through HELL. and he thought he can still pick on him in middle school. i told my friend that i wont step aside and let this happen and that we are there for him.