Options

[Semper_in_Theatro]

Ayliana Wrote:Not everyone who decides to chose abstinince is gay however.

I'm quite aware, I was just realising aloud why my knee-jerk reaction was so negative. And also pointing out how mentaly traumatising abstinence can be, especially when it's reinforced with abusive cultural guilt.

Ayliana Wrote:Yeah right? I mean, whats the harm in having sex no matter how safe you are then finding out 15 years later that somehow your unborn child managed to contract syphilis in the womb(Because either you passed it along to your child directly or you gave it to his mother)? Or taking a couple pills every day for the rest of your life to fight off AIDs?. Oh! Or how about when your liver quits on you thanks to Hepititis C? Becuase we all know how sexy Jaundis is.

..All of which are reasons to be safe, not paranoid.
You don't get latent syphilis from protected sex with people who you know well enough to be confident that they aren't lying about their STD screens. You also only pass on latent syphilis if you're enough of a creep/idiot to avoid getting screened yourself, and syphilis is treatable.
With AIDS too; it's really easy to catch it if you're being high risk, but having protected sex within a good relationship is not high riskm it's incredibly low risk. I do have to call you out on the "take a couple pills" bit though, living with AIDS is a lot more serious than that, it's just a lot more preventable than you seem to think.
Hep C, again, is avoidable if you're not being high-risk, and treatable. Most people - with interferon treatment - lose it entirely, and even those who can't will still never even see the symptoms as long as they avoid being jerks and get their tests done.

Ayliana Wrote:You're right though. There is an idiot factor associated with using condoms. But that doesn't matter. Because everyone at every time is going to be an idiot and do one of those things that you listed. People can be pretty stupid, but to an extent that's human nature. Even if you manage to do everything right condoms still aren't infallible like abstinince is. They aren't going to protect you from lice or warts. And they break. You can do everything right except be unlucky enough to buy a condom that just isn't good.

A) Lice & warts are treatable. And also really obvious if you know what you're looking for.
B) No, not everyone is stupid. Putting on a condom is really easy, and people who can't manage it are fairly ridiculous.

[Rebelnerd]

Semper_in_Theatro Wrote:Putting on a condom is really easy, and people who can't manage it are fairly ridiculous.

or drunk. that's the problem often, people get wasted and/or stoned at a party or something and can barely walk a straight line, let alone correctly put on a condom or even remember it. then they start fucking and before they know it BAM they've got a kid on their hands. condoms are extremely effective, it's just that most accidents happen when people are about to have sex and they're too exctied/drugged to do it properly. after all, 97 % is really good.

[Semper_in_Theatro]

Bitch please. My boyfriend can roll on a condom one handed with his tenth G&T in the other, I've done it tripped on acid, it's easy. Fucking that up still falls under "moron" in my books.

[Rebelnerd]

well maybe not everyone is as coordinated while stoned as he is.

[Aya]

Semper_in_Theatro Wrote: Bitch please. My boyfriend can roll on a condom one handed with his tenth G&T in the other, I've done it tripped on acid, it's easy. Fucking that up still falls under "moron" in my books.

I'm sorry if I'm not impressed. It still doesn't change the fact that not everyone is as skilled at putting on a condom as you are. Just becuase the condom broke or someone put it on wrong doesn't mean they're a moron. They're human, and they obviously don't spend as much time putting them on as you do.

[Semper_in_Theatro]

It's not impressive, that's the point, it's Easy.

Regardless. Most people can do it just fine, but a few people are too stupid or too inebriated to do it properly which elevates the failure rates. That means you can significantly reduce the already minimal risk by educating yourself on how to do it right, and not fucking around when you're so wasted that you've lost even basic motor control.

[Rebelnerd]

isn't that what i just said?

[Semper_in_Theatro]

I... don't think so. (Sorry?)

[Rebelnerd]

it is. i said that the problem is that people get drunk and lose the motor control and judgment necessary to properly apply a condom, or forget to. when people get that wasted they don't always PLAN to have sex, they just lose control and do it without protection.

[Semper_in_Theatro]

...which wasn't really my point. I was more talking about how that affects the statistics.

Anyway, we agree? And without Ayliana we're pretty much just harrasing the choir...

[Rebelnerd]

right, right. we agree that drug-induced improper use is the problem.

[Semper_in_Theatro]

We agree that condoms are more reliable than their statistics make them seem, because the failure rate is artificially bloated by people being idiots (inebriated or otherwise), rather than condoms failing?

[Rebelnerd]

yeah.