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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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DEATH OF INSANITY
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modest mouse Offline
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Posts: 2,282
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Given 1 thank(s) in 1 post(s)
Post: #1
DEATH OF INSANITY

***EDIT***
ok so on a couple of senteces the caps lock got stuck so dont mind thos...yes i have a shitty keyboard...


The death of insanity by modest mouse?



Ever since I’ve moved, it’s been horrible.

I knew it was an old apartment building, maybe from the Early 1960’s, enough to give it quite a history.
the one thing i didnt know was what went on in that apartment, let alone in that city, but i would soon find out.

YEARS EARLER MY FATHER HAD DIED, EVER SINCE THEN I HAVE HAD MOST…TERRIFYING DREAMS.
SOME EVEN HAD SYBOLS OF SATAN IN THEM, YET SOME HAD SYMBOLS OF KINDNESS AND Beauty IN THEM ALSO.
BUT LATELY I’VE BEEN HAVING MOST DISTUBING DREAMS, ONE OF WICH WAS A HIDEOUS HUMANOID TURNING INTO A HUGE MONSTER AND LAYING WASTE TO ALL AROUND HIM.THE MEANING OF THIS DREAM IS FOR THE READER TO PREDICT. (caps lock stuck)

It was another gloomy day in the city. I saw pigeons in the park and people on the street. It was a normal day.

I got to my apartment only to see a letter bearing a quite disturbing message: “GET OUT NOW or THE SPIRITS WILL BE FREED!”

I had no idea what this letter meant but I had not wanted to find out. So I carried on with my business.
As I walked down the dark hallway, the power went out. I could hear things creeping behind the corner and behind my back.



The next day I searched for an explanation to this but I found nothing. I did find out that it was a place with a frightening history. In 1960, it was an insane asylum, in 1975, they turned it into a prison, and in 1980 they turned it into an apartment building. There was also a gang shooting there. But being in the Bronx had nothing to do with it. I went to a library to look up the history of the apartment and I found that the insane asylum had been named Blackmore insane asylum. They had also been shut down for cruelty to humans. The prison was named waterpark prison and had been shut down for cruel executions. And that was the start of Watson apartment complex.

They turned the execution room into the switchboard room. I haven’t been there but I’ve heard
Bad rumors about it. Sometimes I smell charred flesh when I go near that room, but sometimes I don’t. But every time I do, the smell gets stronger. Another weird thing about it was that when the kitchen burnt down they found a staircase hidden by a wall that went down to a well under the basement. But I’m not scared of rumors. But what I am not is a skeptic. I am sure that ghosts are real. It’s just the stupid rumors that people put around them that I hate.
As I walked down to the manager’s office I saw a small girl, maybe about 8 years of age. She said she saw a ghost.
I should have believed her.

I didn’t feel very comfortable sleeping in an apartment building where people used to be killed. But I’d have to wait until I get a raise in pay from my job at “cubicle world” to move anywhere. The next day I had a terrible night terror. I was sitting on the bed in pitch black darkness and all of the sudden a flash of light hit the wall and I saw a man in a straight jacket hanging from the ceiling from leather straps. I froze in fear, I couldn’t move at all. The weird thing about it was the light seemed to project its self on the walls out of nowhere. The light looked like it was coming from a camera from the early 20’s.the light was grainy it was hard to see.


A night terror is usually symbolic, and it happens when you are completely awake. It’s kind of like an extreme hallucination. But it feels real. I went back
To sleep and when I woke up I saw a paper on my nightstand that looked like a diagnosis of some sort.
It read: “the patient seems to be dangerous. Has a tendency to go out of control. We have placed him in shock therapy for health purposes.” I didn’t know where this came from. But it was singed one dr.blackmore. I guess he was the owner of the insane asylum. I did some research on this Dr. Blackmore and found out that he was actually the main doctor of the asylum. He also took his own life in the basement. They say he went insane himself. He did horrible experiments on his patients. From cutting them open to starving them to death. The rest are too gruesome to say.


i went to the library for a couple of hours. WHEN I GOT HOME THERE WAS A NOTE ON THE DOOR THAT SAID “THE HANDS RESIST HIM.” BUT WHAT could this mean? Well once again I did research on it. I went over to the computer. “popups.” I said as I was closing an attack of pop-ups. It turned out to be a painting. A quite disturbing one at that. It was painted by bill Stoneham [real painter]. He completed the painting in 1979. I went to sleep that night and had a horrible nightmare. I dreamt that I was walking down to the courtyard and instead of seeing the courtyard; I saw its horrible past. It used to be a graveyard for prisoners and the correction officers that died there. I saw a girl with long black hair and a white dress sitting mournfully on a wall next to an open grave. I went up to her and saw that she was a doll that was from the 30’s or 40’s. Then I woke up, it was all over. That morning I went to the store and got some sleeping pills. I had to make the dreams stop, I had to sleep again. I had a bad feeling about that night. I soon would find out why.






Chapter two: the twilight hour



Ever since the cataclysm I’ve been scared of windows and staircases. I’m not sure why though. I went to the store to buy some food at about 2:00 pm. The store was kind of crowded but at the same time not that full. The lines were long. Makes you wonder why they call them express lines. I was in line for about ten minutes and I finally got to the counter.
When I left I noticed that the sky was an unusual color. It was a dark red, nothing I’ve ever seen before. I drove through the city seeing traffic jams and homeless people. Nothing that unusual. It was four hours until twilight hour. Some people say twilight hour is in the morning, but I say it’s between five and six pm. But for some reason at the apartments I lived at, there was no twilight hour. It went straight from day to night, and night to day.


I still had some errands to run before I got back to the apartments. I made my way to cubicle world to pick up my check and when I got there everyone was gone. Then I knew something was strange. No one was there but all the lights were on. The next thing I had to do was go to the Laundromat to do my laundry. I went through the wooden door and then made my way through the dusty, white hallway, the lights above buzzing to the rhythm of my brain. I was hyper. Not like “bouncing off the walls hyper.” It was more like “a kid on the first day of School” hyper. The place seemed kind of gloomy. No one was there; no one was in the hallway, just the two people up front. I walked into a room with washers and dryers in it and I heard a loud boom and I looked out the room and no one was there. I went back to my business. After the clothes were done I went to the bookstore to pick up some books on the apartment. I was getting pretty interested in the insane asylum. So I went back to my apartment and I walked inside. I went to my room and sat down and read my book. After about thirty minutes there was another loud boom. But it sounded nothing like the boom in the Laundromat; it was more of a satanic deafening roar. And followed it was an eerie smell that you would find at a morgue or a funeral home. Then came the screams and groans followed by clanking noises on the walls and floors. I was on the top floor so I would not dare come out, but I knew sometime I would have to come out. I kept a desert eagle in the top cabinet of the kitchen for protection. For those of you that don’t know, a desert eagle is a very powerful pistol. So I grabbed it and ran out the door. I had to be careful because I was only limited to the rounds in the gun. I looked out the window across from my door and I looked into the courtyard and saw people getting attacked by indescribable things. Things so horrid I couldn’t even imagine with my darkest thoughts. Suddenly I saw this thing running towards me. I shot it. It flew back and hit the wall. As it slid off the wall, I realized that I could never do this alone. I would need help.
I walked slowly down the hallway with my gun in my hand. I saw the staircase door that went down to the exit and ran towards it. I tried to open it but it was locked. I shot the lock and it flew open. As soon as it opened, I saw this thing; it looked as if it was a girl, maybe 12 or 13. She had black eyes and pale skin with a black dress on. It jumped towards me. I pushed it off and it fell down the stairs. I shot it before it could get back up. I walked down the stairs and when I got to the third floor, I noticed that the first and second floor’s stairs were blocked off by chairs and desks. So I just went into the third floor. The cheap carpets were stained with blood and an eerie smell filled the air, But stronger this time. This was the where the smell was coming from. I walked down the hallway and saw a creature running across the hallway and shot it, but it would not die. I could easily say that I wasted all of my ammo before it turned around. So I picked up a nearby garbage can and threw it at its head. It fell on its face because I was right behind it when I threw the garbage can. I picked up the can and kept hitting it and hitting it. It finally died. I turned it over and it looked kind of like a body builder in a prison outfit. I walked passed it and saw the elevator. I pressed the button and it made a sound. It opened and there was a man inside. He asked for help and all of the sudden a humanoid thing came down from the elevator shaft and pulled him up screaming. I went into the elevator and the man turned out to be a cop. He had dropped his gun and I picked it up. I shot at the thing that killed him and it scurried away up the elevator shaft. I pressed the button and I was slowly going down. The first floor was full of chairs and tables. Too many to walk through. So then I had to take the basement. The basement had a staircase that went up to the back exit. I got back on the elevator and went down a floor. As I got off the elevator I heard this crawling noise and it smelled like rotten eggs. So I looked in my gun clip to see how many rounds were left. There were only seven left. I walked out of the elevator and looked around. It was dark and wet, but it was light enough to see. I saw a shelf with a flashlight on it. I turned it on. The dim light had shown lightly on the walls. This was not the basement I had been in, it was decayed and ruined.



I walked through the doorway and saw a humanoid creature with wings and skinny legs. I shined the light on it and it started burning alive. As it died it gave off a smell that could only cause dread. It smelled like rotten eggs and curdled milk. I could only hope that no more of them would turn up. I turned left where I had killed the thing and I saw a control room to the right of the hallway and went in. it had a radio transmitter in it. I could hear cries and pleas from the radio. But it was too late to turn back now. I had to save myself. All of the sudden a mangled, scruffy looking thing rolled in on a wheelchair and lunged at me from the wheelchair. I fired three rounds into its head and it died. I grabbed a map off of the desk and looked at it. It showed a way out through the emergency exit. There was also a shelf that had a shotgun on it. I grabbed the shotgun and left the room. I turned left and went towards the exit. As I walked to the door I saw a stampede of rats coming from behind. I looked back and saw a giant creature with chains fused to its chest. I shot the remaining bullets in the pistol into its head but that didn’t work. And then I shot it with the shotgun in the head and its head flew off. I made my way to the exit and opened the door. It was midnight and the moon was high.

I walked across the street and got a hotel room. I was relieved to see an actual human for Once. As I stood there, at the grey desk, she asked me why I was so dirty. I said nothing. She gave me a key to the room and I went to my room and laid in bed. As I lay there, I knew I could sleep peacefully for one more night.

I woke up in the middle of the night to a knock on the door. No one was there. I walked out of the hotel room. I was wondering why there were no cops at the apartment. Maybe it was because the phone lines were out, maybe not. I knew I couldn’t just leave the people in the apartment building to be torn apart by whatever was in there. I had to go back…

I grabbed the shotgun and walked out of the hotel. I walked across the street and went back into the basement. I stepped down the stairs and went the same way I came out. As I walked past the control room I heard something banging on the door. I opened the door and a creature swung from above the door and kicked me into the wall. I looked up and saw another one of those things, skinny legs, and the wings of one of hells angels. I pointed my shotgun and blew it through the door. I walked into the control room and saw a hatchet. I picked it up and put it into my jacket. I checked my ammo for my shotgun, two were left. If I was going to survive, I would have to conserve my ammo. I walked out of the room and into the hall. I took a right and another girl was there, black eyes, pale skin. It lunged at me as I shot at it. The first shot missed. I pointed between the eyes and shot. Its head was clearly blown off. I threw the shotgun down; I had no use for it anymore. All I had left was adrenaline. I could be dead for all I care. As I walked into that same doorway that I came in through to the basement, the smell hit me like a bullet to the head. I was surrounded by those skinny bastards. Their blood smelled worse than they did. All I had left was a hatchet, and willpower. I took the hatchet out and faced them all. I was in the middle of an adrenaline battle. One jumped on me tearing at my shirt. I dug the hatchet into its hellish face.
I ran toward another and killed another and another until I and two more were left.
As I stood there waiting for them to attack, I felt as if time slowed down. All at once, the both jumped towards me. I swung the hatchet as hard as I could at ones head. It sliced like an apple. And so did the other one…

I, covered in blood walked into the elevator and pressed the up button. As the elevator stopped at the top floor, I stepped out. I looked up the hallway and saw a person. A man, maybe in his 30’s, he ran towards me for help. As he ran, I saw a tall man in faded blue prison suit run from and intersecting hallway. I yelled “STOP!!” IT WAS TOO LATE. IT HAD GRABBED HIM. IT PICKED HIM UP AND THREW HIM OUT OF THE WINDOW AFTER BEATING HIM SENSLESS. I had no idea how I would kill this one with just a hatchet, unless…I threw it. As it ran towards me from down the hall, I threw my hatchet as hard as I could towards him. It hit him square between the eyes. He fell to the ground with great force.


I walked through the hallway in search of survivors. None. I turned at the end of the hallway into a laundry room. As I looked around, I saw blood stained clothes, blood stained walls, and a dead man with a knife. I pried the knife out of the mans cold hands. It was a hunting knife. As I turned around I saw a skinny humanoid creature. Like the things in the basement but no wings. It jumped at me like a wild animal. I quickly moved out of the way and it hit the washing machine. I lunged at it and it screamed like a banshee as I dug the knife into its neck. It fell to the ground. It had black blood, not like the others.

I walked out of the room and into the hall. I smelled something weird as I looked through the rooms. It smelled like a dead animal. I walked into a room and I looked into a bathroom and I saw horrifying creature. It had long, lanky fingers, and pitch black skin, and a suffering look on its face. It grabbed the top of the toilet and hit me in the face with it as hard as he could. My nose broke instantly, like a glass bottle. By that time my vision was blurry and there was a monster in front of me. If I wanted to live, I would have left when I got out of the basement.
I swung the knife AT ITS FACE AND CUT IT ACROSS THE EYES. IT STARTED GRABBING AT ITS EYES AND THAT WAS MY CHANCE. I STABBED IT IN THE BACK AND NECK AS IT WAS SCREAMING LIKE A BROKIN RADIO. IT FELL TO THE FLOOR with a thud. I turned around and walked out of the bathroom. By that time my nose was throbbing almost as fast as my heartbeat. I couldn’t finish like this, I couldn’t give in. I searched for a bandage in the dark apartment room. I looked in the drawers and everywhere…except the bathroom. I ran into the bathroom and looked in the medicine cabinet. I had finally found a box of bandages. I put one over my nose and walked out of the room.
I looked down the hallway and saw a grotesque creature, its white eyes piercing my soul. It ran at me as I took my knife out of my belt. I finally got into position. It jumped into the air and as it came back down I stabbed it in the chest. Its arms were scratching at my face and its legs were kicking in the air. I threw the creature over my head with my knife. It flew and went through the window and fell into the courtyard. At that moment I realized that I had a samurai sword in my room. But it was all the way across the apartment. It was either that or die.

I made my way down the dark hallway, shadows upon shadows. As I walked down the hallway I tightened the grip in my knife. I slowly walked down the hallway. Step after step after step. And I heard something that sounded like low gurgling noises coming from the end of the hallway. I turned on my flashlight and there was another one of those black things I saw in the bathroom. Tricky bastards. It looked at me with wide eyes. And it jumped at me.


I dug the knife into the bottom of its mouth and out the top of its head. It fell to the floor, its head still attached to my knife. I pulled my knife out as its brains spilled out on the floor. I walked over its body and into my room. I looked on the display case on top of my dresser and there it was my sword. I grabbed it and clinched my fists around the handle and walked out of my room.

I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw a weird creature crawling towards me. It was making low gurgling noises. Before it could attack, I threw my sword across its head. Its lower jaw hit the wall and splattered blood had hit my hand. I wiped it off and made my way to the main hall, the one that led to the elevator. I walked cautiously down the hallway looking in every room for something to kill. And then the smell came back, it was that dead animal smell, another one. I looked in the dark room and saw another black figure with lanky fingers. It was on the bed in a strange position. It was standing on the bed as if it were to attack the floor. And then it saw me. Its long fingers clinched into fists and its large white eyes eased over in my direction. I ran towards it and tried to slice its feet but it jumped. As it landed it jumped off the bed towards me. It scratched me across the face. I pushed it off and swung my sword at its torso. I finally got a shot as it hit the wall. Its chest split open as if my sword were a rib spreader. It grabbed at its chest like a wild animal. It was empty inside. Its only organ that I saw was a small black heart, shriveled up as if it had been sucked dry. It fell to the ground in a heap.


I walked into the hallway and towards the elevator. By that time I was a killing machine. There was no going back now. I pressed the button next to the elevator and the doors rang out across the hall and opened up. I walked in and pressed for the third floor. The elevator closed and rumbled down into the roaring inferno.

The doors opened and I walked into the blood stained hallway.



The walls were an eerie red. I saw a phrase written in blood on the wall. It read “the insanity will come back to you.”
I felt a cold hand touch my back, I turned around quickly. Then it hit me, that smell. It was a smell of embalming fluid. I heard a noise, it sounded like wet feet hitting the floor. I looked around and I saw a shriveled up creature running towards me. It looked as if it had died and had never been embalmed. It jumped towards me and I threw my sword across its face. Its head split open and it fell to the floor. I continued down the dark corridor.


Suddenly the sprinklers from the ceiling came on. And then I heard a scratching sound coming from the ceiling. I looked up only to see blood stains all over the ceiling and what looked like creatures with knives stuck in their back crawling out in an impossible manner. One jumped, and then the other, and over and over again they jumped from the ceiling. As I backed up one jumped at me. I sliced its head off and another and another. The only way to make them stop coming was to shut off the sprinklers. I saw a janitor’s closet and ran in there to see if it had a sprinkler valve in it. I ran in as the monstrosities threw knives at me from their backs. I closed the door behind me and turned on my flashlight in the dark room.
There it was the valve. I walked over to it and turned the old crank. Outside I heard the sprinklers shut off. I knew then that I would have to face the remaining creatures scratching against the door.

I kicked the door with such force that it flew off of the hinges. It had crushed the creatures in front of the door. I could feel it. I could feel their pain, their death. The insanity in me was rising.

I felt numb, I felt cold. I couldn’t feel anything. No compassion, no pain, no feeling at all. My heart was racing as fast as a jet. I had no idea what was happening to me. I saw red. Then I saw nothing. I had blacked out.

I woke up inside that closet. I looked out of the window. It was pitch black. I wondered if the night would ever end. All of the clocks froze at midnight. It made me think that time froze at midnight. I continued down that corridor. I came to the staircase. I kicked down the door and saw a man. Just like me, a human. He was shivering with fear. He had a pistol in his hand. He asked me to help him. I told him to follow me. On the way down, I saw a glass emergency box on the wall; it had a fire axe in it. I smashed the box and grabbed the axe.




I tried to open the door but it was locked. I hacked it down with the axe. When we got through the door, we were attacked by an onslaught of the black, wide eyed creatures and the hells angels [things in basement]. They ran toward us as he shot and I hacked away at each one. I could tell he was a good shooter as he shot one after the other after the other. As we got done he said that he would go a different way than me. He was out for action, I was out for blood.

I noticed that I was at a completely different place than last time. I walked slowly down the hallway. It was a closed off part of the apartment. I came to a door. It said D-block on it. I walked in and it looked like a prison block. I looked in the prison cells. I saw people, except they were dead, All of them. I had heard of this in one of the books I read. It said that the warden ordered the construction workers to lock them in their cells and abandon them. They all died of hunger.
I heard a loud boom. The wall in front of me fell. Suddenly these bloated creatures with jaws equipped to eat anything came bursting through the hole in the wall. One after the other, after the other, I hacked away at them. Skulls cracking, bones breaking, it was all but pleasant. They lay there on the floor, dead. The hole in the wall lead into the gated courtyard.

I was
Greeted by a familiar voice as I came into the yard. It was my neighbor. He told me there’s no way out except to hop the fence. I told him to stand guard while I found a way out. I went into a room with a busted out wall. There was a crate inside. I pulled it out and mounted it next to the fence. I jumped onto it and jumped the fence. My neighbor soon followed.

My neighbor said “man that was scary. I would have died if you had not showed up. That building is evil. The owner knew it too. He kept trying to keep things out ever since he bought the damn place. But you and I both know…it’s not about what’s outside…it’s about what’s already in”

I looked around. Although the streets were empty, I still heard screams. The suffering souls had burned a hole in my heart. My eyes were black; my shirt was a dark blood color that could make you sick. My neighbor said “hey man I own a bar a couple blocks down, it’s right next to the docks if you need to get out of this hellhole. I know some of those monstrosities got out through a door or a hole in the fence so we have got to be careful.”


I looked around the vacant streets; I saw cars, buildings, but no people. Where could they have gone?

I saw a pawn shop in a strip mall close by. I walked into the parking lot, and then to the shop.
“What are you doing?” he said
“Looking for a gun.” I said.

I smashed out the window and climbed in.
I saw a display case inside.
I looked in and saw a shotgun and a tech 9.
He took the tech 9 and I took the shotgun. I walked out and into the parking lot.
I could almost taste the death in the air. It tasted sour as if my soul had been swallowed.
The night’s moon had cast an eerie glow upon the blood stained sidewalk. As I looked upon the city, I knew I would have to kill again.
I would have to kill to get my way out of here.
I was on the opposite side of the city to the docks.

I walked towards downtown. We needed a place to raid, to find food, supplies, anything we could get our hands on. As we were getting closer, I heard a scratching sound, then a scream that could burst your head. A weird skinny creature jumped down from a nearby store. It had grey skin as if it were made of ash. I tried to shoot it but it kept moving. It made a move at my neighbor. It got him pretty good, his leg was burned badly. I finally got a shot at the bastard. The shotgun scatter busted its head open on to the outside wall of the store.
Apparently it burned everything it touched.

As we walked we came to an army surplus store. I was a radio kit inside. I broke inside and got it. Then we had two radios to communicate. My neighbor told me he had kids and he needed to try and get them. I let him go his separate ways. I walked along the road and looked at the blood red sky. At that time I saw an object fly across the sky. It landed in front of me. It looked like an angel that had been cut up. It stood there, its pale face staring back at me. Then it flew off. It left a lasting feeling in my soul. Whatever it was, I couldn’t think about it for too long.

"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-30-2006 09:39 AM
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Freak Offline
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Post: #2
 

And you said it was to much reading on The Swordsmith's Apprentice!
Well I haven't read it yet so.... repost later Cool

EDIT: Cool avatar Evil Mwahaha

[Image: ambnh8.jpg]
05-30-2006 10:58 AM
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modest mouse Offline
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Post: #3
 

lol i copeyed and pasted this from one of my collections...its a pretty good story but im not done with it...

"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-30-2006 01:16 PM
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modest mouse Offline
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Post: #4
 

thnx...that truth or dare in middle earth is fucking priceless...did you make that...?

p.s.
will someone read this shit!?

"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-31-2006 09:07 AM
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ANAL_FROST!!! Offline
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Post: #5
 

yeah that was good

"...if analfrost says killpress is a fag, it must be true. anal never lies. except that time he said he never ate cat shit...that liar"
-Niles Hartley

(quote edited so ppl would know who he was talking about)
06-01-2006 07:30 AM
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