Person who is upset because she is failing a course

[Will]

I have a classmate whom I don't know especially well who seemed very worried, depressed, scared because she had an F in math and was doing badly in all her other classes. She seems like the kind of person who tries very hard to be a good student and seems different from the completely stupid people you may expect to act like this. (I don't really feel like explaining what I mean by "completely stupid," but I think you know what I mean.)

I explained here that people are most suggestible at times like these, so this would be a logical time to explain to her something like this. Of course, she'll still be more likely to accept the opinions of people like her dean and parents, but she'll at least be willing to consider that school is actually a completely messed-up system that is not designed to educate us; most people would try to ignore this idea.

Three questions:
Has anyone ever experienced a situation like this?
Does anyone have any suggestions?
What is the most concise essay about school that briefly explains everything that's wrong with it and, more importantly, why it's wrong?

[Andy]

Have you talked to her? Perhaps she's shaving some family troubles or health issues causing her to not be focused on school. If she does seem "smart" then 90 % percent of the time, an outside influence (something non-school related) is affecting her. See if you can talk to her and maybe discuss what's going on, it might calm her down if she has someone to talk to. When I'am having a bad day, normally me "venting" (talking to someone) doesn't help because I'am more of a loner and like to solve my own problems. But mostly everyone else feels better when they have someone to talk to. So see if you can talk (I'am using this word way too often) it out with her, perhaps that will help.

[SoulRiser]

Suggestible... okay, I know it's for a good cause, but isn't that what everyone says?

Sure, everyone tries to convince people their way is better, school types do it by force, can't we be better than that?

... I think just talk to her, find out what SHE thinks... focus on asking questions rather than trying to answer them. Let her think of the answers for herself. If she's not stupid (like you said), she should come to a conclusion that's best for her... and if she doesn't... well, then I guess she's just not ready yet. I dunno. But something about trying to convince people just seems a bit wrong to me, unless it's a matter of life and death.

[Will]

SoulRiser Wrote:Suggestible... okay, I know it's for a good cause, but isn't that what everyone says?

Sure, everyone tries to convince people their way is better, school types do it by force, can't we be better than that?

... I think just talk to her, find out what SHE thinks... focus on asking questions rather than trying to answer them. Let her think of the answers for herself. If she's not stupid (like you said), she should come to a conclusion that's best for her... and if she doesn't... well, then I guess she's just not ready yet. I dunno. But something about trying to convince people just seems a bit wrong to me, unless it's a matter of life and death.

But that looks weird. That's the problem.

[Alucard483]

ya soul is absolutly right

[SoulRiser]

tlevine Wrote:But that looks weird. That's the problem.

In what way does it look weird?

[Will]

SoulRiser Wrote:

tlevine Wrote:But that looks weird. That's the problem.

In what way does it look weird?

First, I don't know the person too well. Second, most people I know don't have time to talk about stuff like this.

[SoulRiser]

tlevine Wrote:First, I don't know the person too well. Second, most people I know don't have time to talk about stuff like this.

Ah, yeah I can see how that could be a bit out of place... Random anonymous note with a mysterious URL scribbled on it? :biggrin:

That might be weirder, though.

[Will]

SoulRiser Wrote:

tlevine Wrote:First, I don't know the person too well. Second, most people I know don't have time to talk about stuff like this.

Ah, yeah I can see how that could be a bit out of place... Random anonymous note with a mysterious URL scribbled on it? :biggrin:

That might be weirder, though.

I have actually been thinking of about the same thing. I found her email address and instant messanger screenname through Facebook, so I could send her a message with a link to a really good essay. (Any recommendations about which essay? Right now I'm thinking about this one partly because it's by John Taylor Gatto and partly because it's one of the first anti-school things I read.)

Telling her over the internet would be better than telling her in person because she may not want to show that she is considering that school may be stupid.

The thing I'm still not sure about is whether I should send it from my normal email address/screenname or a "made up" one. I'd like to use my normal one, but that would cause problems if she disagreed with whatever I would say.

[SoulRiser]

I'd say go for a made up one. That way, if she does agree and the 2 of you end up talking a lot, you can always tell her who you really are.

That's a very good article you picked... I think that would indeed be appropriate for the situation

I've been looking through the others, they're either too long or don't really focus on the right issues enough.

[Will]

She obviously hasn't read it because she blocked me. I can tell she blocked me because she didn't respond to messages I sent after the first few.

I don't want to try too many things because that will become annoying and may make her want to ignore me. Does anyone think there's something I should try before sending her (over IM or email) the entire text of the essay rather than just a link?

[SoulRiser]

hmm

maybe she...

1) thought you were a spammer
2) was afraid you were trying to corrupt her mind



I know some people are scared like that. they prefer the comfort of what they currently know, and if there's any questions about it, they'd really rather just not know. i don't know if there's anything to be done about that... they have a right to ignorance i guess. ... maybe ask her? ask her if there was another side to something, but that knowing it might drastically affect everything else she thought was true, would she rather know or not know?

[Abandoning Ship]

Not to mention the shock. When If rist came on, I was shocked to know that a lot of people I thought I knew were bullshitting me, like teachers. But you adapt to it.