The Vent/Ranting Thread

[Rebelnerd]

today, god it was just a nightmare. fuck all that shit about the hardship of the real world being worse than school; i seriously don't know how much more of this i can take. nothing is up to me anymore, all i do is just shut up and do what other people say. whether its the teachers and principals with their stupid charts and grades, turning us against each other, all these mindless bastards around me laughing cheerily as they play their stupid little games while they watch us with clipboards like we're fucking lab rats...
or its other kids, making other kid's lives a living hell just because the joy of harming someone else is like dope, like a form of release. but its not the assholes treating my like shit that i can't stand, its the fact that i can't do anything to stop them. its just maddening, there are these assholes at lunch and the only reason i sit with them is because they stole all this shit from me and i told them i wouldn't leave them alone until i got it back, but they refused to give it back because they enjoy just sitting there punching and kicking me and throwing garbage, then telling me to pick it up. of course i say no, and i never do it. so they go back to beating the shit out me until they either get bored or distracted. i don't yell or cry or any of that shit and i'm proud of it, but this is school. not some fucking POW camp. you're supposed to be learing math and english and science, not how to hold out under torture. i've got bruises and cuts all down my legs for the crime of not doing what some other kid said, but i can't do anything because they're stronger, so in that environment they are in charge. its such bullshit, i'm not going to go crying to the principal for help but the fact that these lunch monitors just walk right by and ignore it...jesus it just makes me insane.
this shit goes on every day in the real world, true.but at school, you're not allowed to defend yourself! weaker kids are scarred, beaten, and practically enslaved but the minute a kid tries to use a weapon to compensate for a lack of physical strength...oh noes1!!!111 can't have that! call the police, comfort the brave victims, plaster the news with descriptions of how evil this kid was, using a weapon on a defenseless fellow student! God, i can't stand it!
today one of them broke the unwritten rule of casual school fights: don't punch in the face. i couldn't believe he did it, i didn't even react for a second. i hadn't done anything to him, he'd just come over and hit me in the arm so i lightly retaliated by hitting his shoulder, and HE was the one who wanted "revenge." it wasn't as hard as some i've seen, but they were always reserved for "big" fights, with two strong, angry people battling it out over honor or something. not from a laughing, twisted little rat like this kid. i've still got a cut on my lip, and the left side of my face was swollen for the rest of the period and i got a minor nosebleed. and what could i do? nothing. i couldn't even threaten when he came back to brag about it during library, because a teacher was nearby and then i'd become the bad guy.
but seriously, i'm starting to care about that shit less everyday. if he tried it again, any of that shit like hitting me in the face unprovoked, stealing my stuff, joking about raping my 8 year old sister...i really don't think i can handle just sitting back and taking this anymore. i don't know what to do, i want to just let loose on his ugly face every time i see him but i don't know what would happen to me afterwards. i'm still trying to figure out what would be worse.