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mr. teeth takes a dip
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Milk2Go Offline
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Post: #1
mr. teeth takes a dip

Quote:there once was a man named mr.teeth. all the children in the neighborhood knew him. he gave out the gnarliest candies on halloween. usually little beetles covered in caramel, he wrapped them in a machine to make it look store bought AND EVERYONE ATE THEM. inside the beetles was a mind. did you expect anything less? once invaded the children's stomach it latched to the side of the wall with it's teeth. the eater's would complain but the parents thought they had just eaten too much candy and beat them triple hard. the children came to resent halloween and stopped going out instead staying inside to play video games, amusingly they got less fat because those new games are designed to get you active or something. this was all apart of mr.teeth's master plan of course. with the MIND beetles nestled deep in their colon he flipped the switch and sent out the demon waves.
the beetles had the capability to emanate a frequency of satan's bellowing, as he was being tortured in hell. little do you know you ignorant shit that satan has it the worst. do you think anyone would want to stay down there? naw, so when they heard his cries they all grew four arms and strangled their families to death. word got up to the higher ups and halloween was banned, for good. mr.teeth was disgusted, "they are crushing my livelihood!" he said to his cat. the pussy smiled and went to his box to shit. he purred and thought to himself, "I must help my master! I will summon the last remaining sports star to take vengeance upon these godless morons." the cat went to the closet and hung himself on a noose. this initiated the call. half way across the world and the atlantic ocean the call was heard on an island, by a man grooming himself. "Egads!" he yelped when he heard the news. he grabbed his musket and rode a seal to the mainland. "mr.teeth!", he broke through the window,"mr.teeth I have come to save the day!".
"thou fool!" said the man he stood before,"I am no longer mr.teeth, now I am dr.teeth and I'm working as an optometrist."
"well goodness me, I've been needing specs!" said the Dominic.
"my boy, being the world's most superb athlete how could you survive so long with such horrid eyesight?" dr.teeth inquired as he inspected the test results. they were bad. flies have better vision. Dominic, as he was named, the image of godlihood. they say he came from pompeii and was the last fetus found in the dust. his heart was still beating when they found him. after 10,000 looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong years he was revived, grew like a normal boy unknown of his past, was raised by 2 hicks, and made a career as an amazing baseball hero.
"can you fix me doctor????" he pleaded with his ass in the air.
"my spectacles can only show true horrors to be honest. the directions to my clinic can only be found on the internet, passed around on websites as a flimsy horror story of sorts. how you got here must have been pure coincidence, unless is was that wretched cat-and where has he gone off to?"
"the cat, of course!" Dominic ran to the closet. it was indistinguishable from a rotten apple. maggots squirmed systematically in rivets of sorts, much like fat babies in an oil field. "oh noes! my very prosperity has been taken on this day!".
dr.teeth was masturbating in the kitchen. Dominic shuffled funeralifically cradling the kitty-kat meow man like his own babe. "OH SHIT!!! WAIT 'TIL I'M DONE, FUCKIGN KNOWCK ON THE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOR NEXT TIME!!!!", dr.teeth pretended to be embarrassed but was only more turned on.
"gimme that cat!"
and he ate it!
"they say the gastric juices of a dead cat make the best alcohol."
"then why eat the whole thing!?"
"I like the whole tamale!"
"you monster!"
"put that knife down boy!"
"be stabbed!"
and dominic thrust that knife down until he was hardly breathing.
then he ate dr.teeth, bones and all.
"they say the blood of a man who ate a dead cat makes an even better alcohol than just a dead cat's gastric juices".
he stumbled on out of there and took the dead teeth's glasses. then he put them on and was thrust into an insane world.
"whoa, I can see all the spirits and everywhere." but he was just really drunk!
he walked off into the sunset and jumped off a bridge.
the end.
I take no credit for writing this. Some guy over at the Creepypasta board wrote it as a parody creepypasta. I just found this too hilarious to pass up.
08-14-2009 12:06 PM
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