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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

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Poll: What should I do?
Get a full time job drop out and Slowly work towards your GED. Its pointless to stay in college if your going to keep failing. College isn't for you and it ok, once you get a GED you will have more options.
You need to Start working on your GED ASAP but stay in school for insurance purposes "take 1-2 classes". Get your GED and then take it slow in a 4year - it doesn't matter when you graduate as long as you get it done eventually, "Before You turn 23".
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Im in deep shit...
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Sleepingmud Offline
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Post: #1
Im in deep shit...

Im 19 living in Southern california and have no clue as to what path to take.

When I was 18 I was a junior in high school-because I was held back in kinder and in 6th grade. So my Parents thought it might be a good idea to move onto college "well actually it was my dads idea". I dont blame them, Who wants there son to graduate at age 20?... Im the son and I sure didnt.
It was a small high school developed to help kids with learning disabilities, Im ADD "according to what they say". Personally I think Im just board and un-interested in anything.

But anyways Im glad I found this site because right now Im stuck at a crossroad. Its my 3rd semester at junior college and I failed all my classes the first semester and the second semester". its my 3rd semester and Im taking 2 photography classes and a theater class. Both I enjoy and both im slightly confident I can pass. But if I cant then what? Im completely screwed... or in other words. "Wow your so stupid you cant even pass a theater class".
Im thinking this way not because I have low self esteem. Its because I failed 2 ceramic courses
and a philosophy course (but the philosophy course I expected to fail because I didnt drop it in time which is completely my fault)

Another mistake "I blame my parents" made was not helping me get my GED. My father just thought it would be best to go to college and get my AA. But he didn't understand I wasn't prepared to go to college. It was pretty obvious because I was at the school I was at for a reason... Foolishly I trusted him and my mother and obeyed everything they asked me to do.

Im not sure what to do though, except do what they tell me to do. I dont know my options "I have looked and cant find any"... I dont have a HS diploma and Im not sure I can even pass the GED. But thats my only option right?... college is out of the question Im just going to keep failing. I have tried to apply for "special help"-That didnt work.

Someone Suggested I join the military or go to trade school and become a plumber LOL. But i want to raise a family and live a good successful life... "not that plumbers dont make decent bank".
But thats NOT what I had in mind when I was growing up... I thought I would be a manager at a bank, Or become a SAR pilot... Or be a game developer, create the WoW version of BF2. Maybe even run my own small business, in consulting or web development. But NOW IM not sure if I can do any of those things.

I just suck at school and I cant stand sitting in a class room with people I don't know, hearing some radome air head lecture for something about 2 hours and then expect me to pay attention, Like an english class. The very fact Im writing this right now is proof enough I know my own freaking language. I know this is the kinda crap that you complain about in highs cool I thought that was bad... JEEZZ college makes it seem like disneyland.

Ok sorry got caught up, allow me to summarize. Got held back 2 times, labeled ADD, dropped out of HS and moved to Community college, Didn't get a GED, failed 2 semesters, I want to have a good job but so far the best Im going to get is a management position at Walmart of all places "Again not that they don't make good bank, but its NOT something i could be proud of telling people"... not in my own friends or family anyways.

ALSO! Forgot to mention I have to have a minimum of 8 credits in school or a full time job of 40 hours a week to be on my mothers health insurance.... which is something I HAVE TO BE ON! I have some health issues "not severe but they do require medication that Is VERY expensive".

If anyone has a suggestion.. or a full blown life plan... please.. PLEASE... share it. And if you are going through a similar situation I would love to hear your story maybe it will help me come up with something.

(PS. I also used this EXACT template on my Eve-online clan forums and kill-board when i was a hardcore gamer, Brings back memories)
09-16-2009 02:09 PM
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CrayolaColours Offline
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Post: #2
Re: Im in deep shit...

I guess college just isn't for you. Some people excell at it, some people don't. I say go for the GED and hope for the best.

But do you enjoy and try in all the classes you're in? Maybe you could choose classes that interest you more? College should be about learning and doing the things you love, not getting a job. What do you really enjoy doing? Work towards that.

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09-16-2009 02:29 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #3
Re: Im in deep shit...

Hi there.

Quote:Or be a game developer, create the WoW version of BF2. Maybe even run my own small business, in consulting or web development. But NOW IM not sure if I can do any of those things.
You can totally do any of those things. You do not need college or any qualification to do web development or start your own business in whatever. I went to college to study web development, but the course was so lame I ended up helping the other students more than the teachers could... and then I skipped class so much I ended up flunking most of my subjects. But that doesn't mean I can't make sites, or make money from it... because I do.

Read this... this is what I do, as well as freelance web designing and SEO and programming:
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=10587

Just do something you really enjoy, and don't give up on it 'cause the more you do it, the more you'll find ways to make money doing it.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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09-17-2009 02:36 PM
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Sociopath Offline
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Post: #4
Re: Im in deep shit...

if u drop out of college, you still have to pay a fuckload for the first year, if nyou asked BEFORE you went to college, i wouldve suggested the other one

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Max Stirnir Wrote:"In the time of spirits thoughts grew till they overtopped my head, whose offspring they yet were; they hovered about me and convulsed me like fever-phantasies -- an awful power. The thoughts had become corporeal on their own account, were ghosts, e. g. God, Emperor, Pope, Fatherland, etc. If I destroy their corporeity, then I take them back into mine, and say: "I alone am corporeal." And now I take the world as what it is to me, as mine, as my property; I refer all to myself." The Ego and Its Own, pg. 15
Charles Manson Wrote:“Look down at me and you see a fool;
look up at me and you see a god;
look straight at me and you see yourself”
HeartofShadows Wrote:"Life is nothing more than a druggie trying to get their quick fix of happiness while dealing with the harsh withdrawal of reality"
Osip Mandelstam Wrote:"I divide all of world literature into authorized and unauthorized works. The former are all trash; the latter--stolen air. I want to spit in the face of every writer who first obtains permission and then writes." The Fourth Prose, 1930.
Lukas Foss Wrote:That is why the analogy of stealing does not work. With a thief, we want to know how much money he stole, and from whom. With the artist it is not how much he took and from whom, but what he did with it.
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09-17-2009 11:37 PM
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Sepia Offline
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Post: #5
Re: Im in deep shit...

How did you get into college without a diploma?
01-26-2010 12:04 PM
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Pieman Offline
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Post: #6
Re: Im in deep shit...

Nice bump there.

" I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. " ~From the television show The Wonder Years
01-26-2010 12:07 PM
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Loxor Offline
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Post: #7
Re: Im in deep shit...

I was wondering why this seemed old for some reason.

Anything that ever happened or will... one condition, it has to be amazing.

I gave her wings but she don't wanna fly no more.

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
01-26-2010 12:37 PM
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