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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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You know you're a New Orleans native if...
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Amortisatie Offline
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Post: #1
You know you're a New Orleans native if...

I think only a person from Louisiana would get these, but i'm going to post em up anyway because I find most of them hilarious, i'll bold the ones that relate to me Biggrin

But tell me if you understand any of these either

http://members.tripod.com/pc_jokes/bravo19.htm

Quote: You proudly claim that Monkey Hill is the highest point in Louisiana.

You drive your car up onto the neutral ground if it rains steadily and heavily for more than two hours.

You have flood insurance.

Someone asks for an address by compass directions and you say it's Uptown, downtown, backatown, riverside or lakeside.

Your idea of a cruise ship is the Canal Street ferry, and your idea of a foreign cruise ship is the Chalmette ferry.

Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

You know the Irish Channel is not Gaelic-language programming on cable.

You can pronounce 'Chop-a-tool-is' but can't spell it. (Tchopatulas)

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than your house.

You get on a bus marked 'cemeteries' without a second thought.

You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it.

You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn through a neutral ground while avoiding two joggers and a streetcar, then fit into the oncoming traffic flow while never touching the brake. (Well on my bike I can XD)

You can consistently be the second or third person to run a red stop light.

You know how long you have to run to a store, get what you need and get back to your car before you get a parking ticket.

You got rear-ended 10 times by people with no insurance.

You take a 'right-hand turn' instead of a right turn.

You get off the stoop, walk down the banquette and cross the neutral ground to go get a sno-ball.

You judge a restaurant by its bread.

The white stuff on your face is powdered sugar.

You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs.

You visit another city (Houston) and they 'claim' to have Cajun food -- but you know better.

You have the opening date of any sno-ball stand in your Daytimer.

You know that a po-boy is not a guy who has no money, but a great-tasting French bread sandwich.

The major topics of conversation when you go out to eat are restaurant meals that you have had in the past and restaurant meals that you plan to have in the future.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

You consider having a good meal as your birthright.

The four seasons of your year are crawfish, shrimp, crab and oyster.

You love Maspero's, like the prices, hate the line, so you know to sit at the wonderfully old bar to place your order and enjoy.

A seven-course meal is a pizza and a six-pack of Abita beer.

Your stomach can handle a dozen Manuel's tamales at 3 a.m. after having a few at Markey or Saturn Bar.

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of 'dressed.'

You put Tabasco sauce on your Hershey bar. (It tastes good dammit)

You can eat Popeyes original chicken, Haydel's kingcake and Zapp's while waiting for Zulu. Then you go to Jackson Square for a Central Grocery muffaletta with a Barq's while sucking hot crawdads and cold Acme oysters, hurricanes and several Abitas. Then you can ride the St. Charles Avenue streetcar home past Camellia Grill for a chili/cheese omelette ... without losing it all on your front stoop.

You have gained 10 or 15 pounds permanently, but you don't care anymore.

Ya stood yaselfs in da line by Galatoire's.

You think 'drinking water' when you look at the Mississippi River.

Someone at a crawfish boil says, 'Don't eat the dead ones,' and you know what they mean.

You don't really teach people the right way to eat crawfish, so there's more for you.

Your idea of cutting back on calories is to suck the heads and not eat the tails.

The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel No. 5.

You enjoy sucking heads more than sucking face.

Your idea of foreplay is pinching dem tails and sucking dem heads and chasing it down with a cold Dixie beer.

You burl (boil) crawfish and fry them in erl (oil). Don't forget to pack the uneaten tails in furl (foil).

The first thing you do every morning is pick up The Times-Picayune obit section to see 'who died inna papah?'

Ya making groceries at Schwegmann's with ya mama to buy Dixie beer and crawfish so you can eat and suck heads in the French Quarter before a Mardi Gras parade.

There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in ya mama's coin purse.

When you speak with a tourist, he asks, 'Are you from Brooklyn?'

You make groceries at Schwegmann's to get da Zatarains for da crawfish. Den, ya suck da heads of those crawfish for da juice. Don't forget da beer and da white Russian daiquiris. Afterwards, you go down to Randazzo's for some king cake. While in da parish, you stop at Rocky's for some baked macaroni to take home. On Mondays, you get da begneits, coffee and da Gambit. (Dat Gambit has everything.) For lunch, you go down to Mother's for some red beans and rice. Tomorrow, you get da muffaletta at da Central Grocery. And dat's what we do in N'awlins, dawlin'.

You're not afraid when someone wants to 'ax' you.

You were born at Baptist, raised in Metry and hang with Vic and Nat'ly.

You go by ya mom-n-ems on Good Friday to eat crawfish, drink beers and play touch football on the neutral ground.

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. (I really thought it was too :( )

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together- and you will even eat things those colors.

Every time you hear sirens you think it's a Mardi Gras parade.

On Christmas Eve, your daughter looks up in the sky, sees Santa Claus and yells, 'Throw me somethin' mister.'

You fill your Nativity creche with king cake babies dressed like Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the wise men and the angels.

You go buy a new winter coat and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

You have a parade ladder in your shed.

Your finest china has Endymion written on it.

Your first sentence was, 'Throw me something mistah,' and your first drink was from a go-cup.

You wonder what Anne Rice has against a building that looks like a Mardi Gras float.

You still write 'NOPSI' on your utility bill.

You know the color purple is a drugstore and not a movie.

You have a special set of well-broken-in shoes you refer to as your 'French Quarter' shoes.

You still call the convenience store 'Timesaver.'

You move somewhere else and you feel like you are from Oz and you moved to Kansas

Everywhere else just seems like Cleveland.

You know the lyrics to the jingles for Seafood City, Pontchartrain Beach and Rosenberg's.

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.


You believe Al and Anne are the Uptown version of Vic & Nat'ly.

You can remove the cap from a Tabasco bottle with one hand.

You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You know where you got your shoes. (On my feet, bitches. Don't fall for this one if you visit New Orleans :thumbsupSmile

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

You ask someone where they went to school and they tell you which high school they attended.

You remember waiting up and staying awake for complete TV coverage of the meeting of the Comus and Rex courts.

You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say things like, 'Dere ain't no way they can run out of a cemetery right on to Bourbon Street ... and don't call me "Cher."'

You haven't been to Bourbon Street in years.

You bring empty grocery bags to a parade.

That brown bag you take to the Saints game ain't your lunch.

You know that 'Tipitina' is not a gratuity for a waitress named Tina.

You have to buy a new house because you ran out of wall space for Jazz Fest posters.

You drink Dixie, whistle Dixie and name your dog Dixie.

You describe a color as K&B purple.

You like your rice and politics dirty and dislike clean living.

You still hope Angela and Garland get back together.

You worry about deceased family members returning in spring floods.

You're sitting on the Lakefront reading the Gambit, eating hot crawfish and drinking Abita beer.

You can ask for lagniappe and not feel guilty.

You reply to anything and everything about life here with, 'Only in New Orleans.'

You really were in Tulane Stadium during the Saints first game when John Gilliam ran the opening kickoff back for a touchdown.

You're out of town and you stop and ask someone where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place (then they look at you like you have three heads).

You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.

You go to sleep Friday evening before you go out Friday night.

You have a monogrammed go-cup.

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French fries that fell under the seat.

You like your crawfish so hot, you can't distinguish between sweat, snot and crawfish juice.

Your butt burns when you go to the bathroom.

[Image: spooky-1.jpg]

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson
09-21-2009 02:38 AM
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Pieman Offline
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Post: #2
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

I lol'd.

" I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. " ~From the television show The Wonder Years
09-21-2009 03:28 AM
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The Desert Fox Offline
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Post: #3
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Have fun shoving old ladies.

Hidden stuff:
(11-27-2011 01:00 PM)psychopath Wrote:  
(11-27-2011 10:52 AM)Efs Wrote:  Our Army is more professional than Amerika. Smile
Except ours isn't allowed to have guns
CrayolaColours Wrote:That post owned. TDF wins post of the year.
Faby Wrote:
krissy Wrote:dessert fox
Mmm, flambéed vulpine.
"There is no enemy, there is no victory, only boys who lost their lives in the sand."
[/center]
09-21-2009 12:08 PM
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Amortisatie Offline
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Post: #4
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

The Desert Fox Wrote:Have fun shoving old ladies.

If they throw a pack of beads, it's gonna be mine Evil

[Image: spooky-1.jpg]

“The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson
09-21-2009 12:33 PM
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CrayolaColours Offline
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Post: #5
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Oooooh. I have one for Indiana. It made me lawl. Though, I'm using hidden tags, because I'm nice.

Hidden stuff:
You know you're in Indiana when...
1. You know several people who have hit a deer.

2. You've never met any celebrities.

3. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

4. Down south to you means Kentucky.

5. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."


6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. (Bullshit. The snow can be up to our noses and we still have school)

7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat. (Srsly? This happens?)

8. You know what the phrase "Knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.

9. You've heard of Euchre, you know how to play Euchre, and you are the master of Euchre.

10. You've seen a running car, with nobody in it, in the parking lot of the grocery store no matter what time of year it is.

11. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at? or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

12. Detassling was your! first job. Bailing hay, your second. Or you could stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day. (I believe this is lower Indiana)

13. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day OR "Stoke the fire" and "fling open the windows" for the older version.

14. You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner".

15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

16. You carry jumper cables in your car regularly.

17. You drink "pop".

18. You know what "cow tipping" is.

19. You know that Bailin' wire was the predecessor to duct tape.

20. You know that strangers are the only ones that come to your "front" door.

21. Kids and dogs ride in the passenger seats of cars and the backs of pickups.

22. You think nothing of it in spring and fall to be stuck behind a farm implement driving on the roads.

23. High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters.

24. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (I lawled nonstop for a straight minute)

25. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1 page, but requires 6 for local sports.

26. Can repeat the scores of the last 8 IU games, but unless the MVP is a Hoosier, you are not sure who he is. (not IU, but Purdue)

27. There is a basketball hoop at every house.

28. You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.

29. You shop at Marsh.

30. Damon Bailey was your childhood hero.

31. The biggest question of your youth was "IU or "Purdue".

32. Indianapolis is the "big city". (I live much closer to Chicago)

33. "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school. (Welcome to traintown. I swear, they chose right before and right after school to stop on the tracks.)

34. The Wabash River is the "biggest body of water" near your house. (Lake Michigan biznatches.)

35. You know several different definitions as to what a Hoosier really is.

36. People at your high school chewed tobacco.

37. Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, whether he is at home or on duty.

38. To get to school you had to drive on a gravel road, a road with several right-angle turns in it, or if you were really lucky, over a covered bridge.

39. People in your neighborhood, really, REALLY like Nascar.

40. You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side.

41. To you, a raccoon is simply a "coon". (Damn rabid coons.)

42. The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup.

43. You are a BIG John Mellencamp fan.

44. You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.

45. You took backroads to get there - why sit in traffic?

46. To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.

47. You call a green bell pepper a "mango".

48. Sometimes, you call the toilet the "commode" or the "stool".

49. In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars.

50. You know what corning is.

51. Wal-mart (K-Mart!) is the most exciting place in your hometown.

52. Technically, you don't even live in a town.

53. You know what FFA and 4H stand for and how to spell them.

54. A typical party at your high school consisted of a bunch of people driving trucks into the woods or an empty field, lighting a bonfire, and staring at it while drinking a few beers.

55. It is a 30 minute drive from your house to the grocery store.

56. You have all the same teachers in high school that your parents had. (Middle school also. Yay me, my dad was a little asswipe as a kid.)

57. You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road.

58. You think that Notre Dame is a college in South Bend, and not a cathedral in France.

59. You know people who own belt buckles with their initials on them. These buckles are the size of a dinner plate.

60. You go to the county fair every night of it's week-long duration.
That was much more mid Indiana. Maybe a Chicago one would be more accurate for me? Oh well.

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Faith o' Meter
-{|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||}-
2
Quote:Riddle me this, riddle me that. Give me a straight answer, you pain in the ass cat.
09-21-2009 01:25 PM
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The Desert Fox Offline
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Post: #6
I rock.

Here's one for The Burgh.

Hidden stuff:
1. You didn't have a spring break in high school

2.You walk carefully when it is "slippy" outside

3. You often go down to the "crick"

4. You've told your children to "red up" their rooms.

5. You can remember telling your little brother/sister to stop being so "nebby"

6. You've gotten hurt by falling into a "jaggerbush"

7. Your mother or grandmother has been seen wearing a "babushka" on her head

8. You've "warshed" the clothes

9. I ask you to hand me one of those "Gum-Bands" you actually know what I'm talking about.

10. You know you can't drive too fast on the back roads, because of the deer.

11. You know Beaver Valley, Turtle Creek, Moon, Mars, Slippery Rock, Greentree and New Castle are names of towns. (and you've been to most, if not all, of them.)

12. A girl walks up to three of her girl friends and says, HEY YENZ GUYS"

13. You hear "you guyses," and don't think twice. (Example..."you guyses house is nice")

14. You know the three rivers by name and understand that "The Point" isn't just on a writing instrument.

15. Someone refers to "The Mon" or "The Yough" and you know exactly what they're talking about.

16. Someone starts the chant, "Here we go Still-ers!" and you join in. In the proper cadence. Waving the appropriately colored towel.

17. Bob Prince and "There's a bug loose on the rug." hold special meaning for you.

18. You've either eaten a Farkleberry Tart or know someone who has.

19. You drink pop, eat hoagies, love perogies and one of your favorite sandwiches actually has french fries ON it.

20. You know what a "still mill" is.

21. You expect temps in the winter to be record breaking cold and temps in the summer to be record breaking hot.

22. You know what Eat 'N Park is and frequently ate breakfast there at 2:00 a.m. after the bar closed and made fun of people.

23. You order "dippy eggs" in a restaurant and get exactly what you wanted.

24. You spent your summers, or a school picnic, at Kennywood, Sand Castle, or Idlewild. (Only Kennywood)

25. You've been to the Braun's Bread Plant or Story Book Forest for a school field trip.

26. "Chipped ham" was always in your refrigerator when you were growin up.

27. You refuse to buy any condiments besides Heinz unless a Pittsburgh athlete's picture is on the side of the container.

28. Franco, Roberto, and Mario don't need last names and you can recite their exploits by heart.

29. Food at a wedding reception consists of rigatoni, stuffed cabbage, sauerkraut and polska kielbasa.

30. You've ridden the two oldest surviving inclines in the world.

31. When you refer to "Jimmies", you're not talking about some a group of boys with the same name.

32.You find it fun to kill your brain cells while holding your breath through the tubes. (meh)

33. You can pronounce the word Duquesne.

34. You don't understand why people say "to be" before verbs. "My car needs washed" or "my hair needs cut" works just fine.

35. You have a picture of you when you were younger with the Pirates parrot.

36. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

37. You remember waiting for KDKA to flash your school name for a 2-hour delay.

38. You measure distance in hours.

39.You know who Donnie Iris is. (Sounds familiar, but no)

40. You own more than one original Terrible Towel

41.You go 'food shoppin' at 'Jine Iggle'.

42. You don't see what all the hype is about Disney World when Kennywood is just around the corner.

43. You say "McConnell's Mills", although you know there is only one mill there.

44. You drink Melk.

45. You've ever drank and "arn".

46. You hear you guyses" or "yins" and don't look twice.

47. You hate Cleveland although you've never been there.

48. You've played witha dekkacards.

49. You've made an igloo and the neighborhood kids have played in it.

50. You've ever "warshed" the laundry.

51. You want to go to Pitt.

52. You've swum in either the river or the fountain at the Point.

53. You refuse to buy any condiments besides Heinz.

54. Your father has worked for the same company for over 20 years. (35 years bitch)

55. You've memorized lines from the movie "Flashdance".

56. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. (I know people that do, but not me)

57. You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

58. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Heinz ketchup, and the bottle of Trappey's Red Devil you swiped from Primanti's.

59. You know the Penguins roster from the 1991 season.

60. If anyone wears a Flyers jersey, they must be lynched from the nearest flagpole.

Hidden stuff:
(11-27-2011 01:00 PM)psychopath Wrote:  
(11-27-2011 10:52 AM)Efs Wrote:  Our Army is more professional than Amerika. Smile
Except ours isn't allowed to have guns
CrayolaColours Wrote:That post owned. TDF wins post of the year.
Faby Wrote:
krissy Wrote:dessert fox
Mmm, flambéed vulpine.
"There is no enemy, there is no victory, only boys who lost their lives in the sand."
[/center]
09-21-2009 03:07 PM
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Dark Soul X Offline
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Post: #7
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Amortisatie Wrote:Your butt burns when you go to the bathroom.

Rofl That one made me lol.

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I'll see you in Hell....AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
09-28-2009 11:17 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
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Post: #8
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

jokes only pieman will get

You know your Floridian if:

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

It's not soda, cola, or pop. It's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and christmas.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread lovebug season.

Anything under 70 is freezing.
09-28-2009 11:46 AM
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Dark Soul X Offline
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Post: #9
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

One for Milwaukee.

Hidden stuff:
Its always Miller Time

You call Air Force Ones Dookies

You call Lake Michigan "the lake"

You tailgate for more than just football games

You know where the bubbler is

The smell of yeast does not phase you

You've cruised on HWY 100

You call it Mil-town

You know what and where the "village" is

You understand the difference between the green and the blue street signs

You use the lake to give you a sense of direction

You have gone to Summerfest for more than just the music (As a kid I used to think the place had rides)

You have had many meals that were just beer, brats & kraut (I don't even know what the hell a kraut is)

You know the best brats are cooked in beer before they are grilled

You know what the "beast" is

You measure distance in time

You can drive 65 in 3 inches of snow

You go out to the suburbs to go trick or treating
(Well, they're lazy over where I live, dammit)

You go to a fish fry every Friday in the summer

You know how to polka

You know to get all your alcohol bought before 9 pm

You vacation in Door County

You have the goal of going to Madison for Halloween at least once

You can eat a whole cream puff and probably even two

You use "up north" and "down south" to describe where you went for vacation

You drink soda, not pop

You go to Brewers games for one reason - The Sausage Races

You pronounce it Mawaukee instead of Milwaukee

You know people with the 262 area code aren't really from Milwaukee

You know the difference between ice cream & frozen custard

You think humidity is a typical part of summer weather around the country


You know better than to swim in Lake Michigan, even if the toxic warning signs have been taken down

Brett Favre holds a special place in your heart and always will (Just retire already, old man)

You keep track of the summer months by what festival is happening at the summerfest grounds

The sight of the Jesus Car fills you with enjoyment instead of anxiety (Agnostic. Does not apply.)

You hear tyme machine and think money instead of time travel (Whaa?)

Your heart skips a beat everytime you watch Anchorman and hear Ron Burgundy say "Baxter is that you? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee"

You know why every George Webb's has two clocks

You know that at one time both the Packers & the Brewers played at County Stadium


You remember the great days of "The Box" on channel 8

You are proud that it is the drunkest city in America & the second best party town. (That's two of the main reasons why I don't like the city. Doesn't fit well with my personality.)

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Buying a high powered computer: 500 bucks
Getting gift wrap: 10 bucks maybe
Seeing the horror on that special someone's face once they tear off the gift wrap and see a Windows 98: Priceless.

[Image: Spawn_Classic.jpg]

I'll see you in Hell....AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
01-10-2010 09:30 PM
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Loxor Offline
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Post: #10
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Rofl

Anything that ever happened or will... one condition, it has to be amazing.

I gave her wings but she don't wanna fly no more.

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
01-11-2010 02:35 AM
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CrayolaColours Offline
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Post: #11
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Quote:You know better than to swim in Lake Michigan, even if the toxic warning signs have been taken down
You don't have to be from Milwaukee to know that shit.

(Yet it's the closest thing we Hoosiers have to an Ocean. So I'll swim in it from time to time, YAY FOR GREEN WATER!)

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Quote:Riddle me this, riddle me that. Give me a straight answer, you pain in the ass cat.
01-11-2010 04:38 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
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Post: #12
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

More floridan jokes

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store,but
everything to do with shade.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a
boat yourself.

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the
NRA and a confederate flag.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You've gone to Disney World and come back home in one day.

They are called Palmetto Bugs not roaches
01-11-2010 05:18 AM
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Vatman Offline
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Post: #13
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

You know your a New Yorker when...
Hidden stuff:
1. You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

2. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure grit.

3. You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

4. You know what a "regular" coffee is

5. It's not Manhattan, it's the "City".

6. You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road

7. Someone passes out on the train, you mistakenly think he is dead and complain that he had to die on your train because this is going to make you late!

8. The rurals scare you, but..

9. You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

10. There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown. If you're really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where North and South are.

11. You cross the street anywhere but on the corners yelling at the cars for not respecting the fact.

12. You move 8,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.

13. You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and "real" bagel.

14. A 500 square foot apartment is large.

15. Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as that same 500 square foot apartment of yours that takes only 35 minutes to get to and you think he's a sucker.

16. You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

17. You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.

18. You know who Dr. Z is.

19. You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.

20. You wouldn't bother ordering an pizza in any other city.

21. You know that the off the shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the superior roaches cohabitating with you in the 500 square foot apartment.

22. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food groups: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.

23. You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

24. Your internal is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

25. You know what a bodega is.

26. You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

27. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

28. You don't even notice the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with her self.

29. You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.

30. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

31. The presidential visit is a major traffic jam.not an honor.

32. Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (They take up all the parking spaces!)

33. You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.

34. You look forward to riding the subway to read the next installment of "Marisol and Julio".

35. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.

36. You know that the plural form of you is youse. Of course it is!

Some cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
01-11-2010 05:23 AM
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Loxor Offline
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Post: #14
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Rofl

Plural form of your, that's a good one.

Anything that ever happened or will... one condition, it has to be amazing.

I gave her wings but she don't wanna fly no more.

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
01-11-2010 05:28 AM
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CrayolaColours Offline
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Post: #15
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Karus Wrote:Rofl

Plural form of your, that's a good one.
It's quite true youse guys.

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Quote:Riddle me this, riddle me that. Give me a straight answer, you pain in the ass cat.
01-11-2010 05:34 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
Frame 313

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Post: #16
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Quote:The presidential visit is a major traffic jam.not an honor.
FUCKING THIS!!
01-11-2010 05:36 AM
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Loxor Offline
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Post: #17
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

thought criminal Wrote:
Quote:The presidential visit is a major traffic jam.not an honor.
FUCKING THIS!!

Isn't everything a traffic jam in newyork?

Anything that ever happened or will... one condition, it has to be amazing.

I gave her wings but she don't wanna fly no more.

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
01-11-2010 05:37 AM
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Fire Elf Offline
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Post: #18
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

I can't find one for my city.

The only good signature is a dead signature.
01-11-2010 11:47 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
Frame 313

Posts: 10,133
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Post: #19
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Lol. Try your state.
01-11-2010 12:06 PM
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Fire Elf Offline
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Post: #20
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

I'd be surprised if they even had one for my country.

The only good signature is a dead signature.
01-11-2010 12:07 PM
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Thought Criminal Offline
Frame 313

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Post: #21
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Where you live at nigga? Romania or some shit?
01-11-2010 12:11 PM
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Dark Soul X Offline
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Post: #22
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Vatman Wrote:You know your a New Yorker when...
Hidden stuff:
1. You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

2. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure grit.

3. You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

4. You know what a "regular" coffee is

5. It's not Manhattan, it's the "City".

6. You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road

7. Someone passes out on the train, you mistakenly think he is dead and complain that he had to die on your train because this is going to make you late!

8. The rurals scare you, but..

9. You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

10. There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown. If you're really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where North and South are.

11. You cross the street anywhere but on the corners yelling at the cars for not respecting the fact.

12. You move 8,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.

13. You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and "real" bagel.

14. A 500 square foot apartment is large.

15. Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as that same 500 square foot apartment of yours that takes only 35 minutes to get to and you think he's a sucker.

16. You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

17. You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.

18. You know who Dr. Z is.

19. You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.

20. You wouldn't bother ordering an pizza in any other city.

21. You know that the off the shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the superior roaches cohabitating with you in the 500 square foot apartment.

22. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food groups: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.

23. You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

24. Your internal is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

25. You know what a bodega is.

26. You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

27. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

28. You don't even notice the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with her self.

29. You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.

30. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

31. The presidential visit is a major traffic jam.not an honor.

32. Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (They take up all the parking spaces!)

33. You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.

34. You look forward to riding the subway to read the next installment of "Marisol and Julio".

35. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.

36. You know that the plural form of you is youse. Of course it is!

You're a New Yorker, Vat? Didn't know that one.

Spambot Kill Counter: 33
Spambot Kill Counter as Spambot Hell's Devil: Countless

Buying a high powered computer: 500 bucks
Getting gift wrap: 10 bucks maybe
Seeing the horror on that special someone's face once they tear off the gift wrap and see a Windows 98: Priceless.

[Image: Spawn_Classic.jpg]

I'll see you in Hell....AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
01-12-2010 09:31 AM
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Vatman Offline
Foreplay in Ink

Posts: 2,701
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Post: #23
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Born and raised....but I live in Connecticut now.....its too quiet here I miss the city...

Some cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
01-13-2010 03:49 AM
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Faby Offline
work in progress

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Post: #24
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

thought criminal Wrote:Where you live at nigga? Romania or some shit?

I live in Romania. And I found a list for my country. Razz

Let go of all desire for the common good, and the good becomes common as grass.

~~

Good fortune follows upon disaster;
Disaster lurks within good fortune;
Who can say how things will end?
Perhaps there is no end.
01-13-2010 04:03 AM
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Fire Elf Offline
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Post: #25
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

nvm, I found one... kind of.

Hidden stuff:
1. You had to share a room until you were 21. (I'm the only one that sleeps there, but other people use my closet, and computer)
2. Everything you eat is savored in garlic and onions.
3. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
5. You have a nickname which sounds nowhere close to your real name.
6. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
7.Your mom tells you you're too skinny even though you're 30 pounds overweight.
8. Your house is full of medicine from your old country and it's probably all illegal here.
9. You and your friends have ever been kicked out of a restaurant or recreational park for being too loud or rowdy.
10. You don't know how to use a dishwasher b/c *u are* the dishwasher.
11. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
12. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
13. Your dad ever butchered a pig or lamb.
14. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
15. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
16. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making calls.
17. It's "normal" if your wedding has 600 people.
18. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American guy.
19. You drive a nicer car than your parents. (I'm too young to get a driving license.)
20. Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
21. You have all brand new appliances in the kitchen but your mom cooks in the basement with the stove from your old house.
22. Your parents have gone on vacation ONCE and it was to your home country.
23. You base your whole life on fortune in your coffee cup.
24. Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.
25. You're actually nodding and laughing at most of these things.
26. You're a proud Eastern European and pass this on to your European friends.
27. Your non-English speaking grandmother gives a shocked look when you say 'pizza'.
28. You wear French Connection and other designer clothing when going to work out.
29. You carry liquor back here from your country in plastic Sprite bottles under tons of clothing in the suitcase.
30. You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name.

The only good signature is a dead signature.
01-13-2010 05:30 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
Frame 313

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Post: #26
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Faby Wrote:
thought criminal Wrote:Where you live at nigga? Romania or some shit?

I live in Romania. And I found a list for my country. Razz
OH SNAP Biggrin I'm pro
01-13-2010 06:07 AM
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DragonDusk Offline
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Post: #27
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

I found one for Portland,OR

Hidden stuff:
1. You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.
2. You never go camping without water-proof matches and ponchos.
3. You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain waiting for the light to change.
4. You’ve ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip.
5. The bride and groom registered at REI.
6. Know at least eight people who work for Intel or used to work for Tektronix.
7. You make $30,000 a year, yet still can’t find a place to live.
8. You can list more than five reasons why Starbuck’s is evil.
9. Every July 1st, it takes half a day to find your sunglasses and sunscreen.
10. You blame anything that is not right on ex-Californians.
11. You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
12. You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
13. You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best IPA.
14. Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
15. You know that Boring is a place, not an adjective to describe your job.
16. You can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you can’t see them due to clouds.
17. You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub within walking distance of your house.
18. You can give a 30-minute monologue on infill and the Urban Growth Boundry.
19. You think downtown is “scary” because you were panhandled there once.
20. When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup truck looks like the governor.
21. When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
22. You can name more than 10 kinds of berries and where to get them.
23. You can name more than 10 beer styles and their hop profiles.
24. When the weather gets above 50 degrees, you put on your shorts, but you still wear your hiking boots and parka.
25. When the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
26. You think people who use umbrellas are wimps.
27. You can recount more than five anecdotes why the east side is a crime-infested jungle. *OR* You can list more than five reasons why the west side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
28. You know what is between the east side and the west side, and how to pronounce it.
29. You know that Couch Street is not pronounced like what you sit on.
30. You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
31. “Today’s forecast, showers, followed by rain. Tomorrow: rain, followed by showers” doesn’t faze you.
32. You can’t wait for a day with “showers and sunbreaks”.
33. You can go skiing after work.
34. A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
35. You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
36. You measure distance in time (i.e Oregon City is 40 minutes away)

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01-13-2010 01:24 PM
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Dark Soul X Offline
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Post: #28
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Vatman Wrote:Born and raised....but I live in Connecticut now.....its too quiet here I miss the city...

If it were possible to actually do so, I'd asking to change places with you. I can't stand Milwaukee, and isn't it like New York anyway?

Spambot Kill Counter: 33
Spambot Kill Counter as Spambot Hell's Devil: Countless

Buying a high powered computer: 500 bucks
Getting gift wrap: 10 bucks maybe
Seeing the horror on that special someone's face once they tear off the gift wrap and see a Windows 98: Priceless.

[Image: Spawn_Classic.jpg]

I'll see you in Hell....AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
01-14-2010 09:14 AM
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Thought Criminal Offline
Frame 313

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Post: #29
Re: You know you're a New Orleans native if...

Not quite as ghetto, but damn close.
01-14-2010 10:44 AM
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