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The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser


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Adult privilege
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Sophie Offline
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Post: #1
Adult privilege

Hi! I'm Sophie; I've been around in YR for a while (you can find me on NYRA and more recently SnipeMe) but unfortunately I only recently discovered this place - if only I knew about it when I was still in high school! (I actually took the CHSPE and withdrew only a month or two before I would have graduated, so that I could use a higher GPA for college scholarships...but anyway. I just thought I should introduce myself before I make a post.) This is something I started (and lots of people have contributed to) on the NYRA forums, and I think this would be a good place for it too. This is the unrevised version, as it's still a work-in-progress where I just add everything people say. Eventually it should probably be organized into similarly-themed points. So suggestions on how it should be sorted are also welcome.

I’ve seen a lot of really good pieces on “privileged” demographics, as it relates to various forms of prejudice, like cisgender privilege and neurotypical privilege (which relates to self-advocacy in autism and other psychological conditions). It’s about time there was an exploration of adult privilege. I started a list [on the morning of May 24th], but I want to ask here: what else do you think should be on this list? (Note: items 1-34 were written from the perspective of a United States citizen. Therefore, some specifics may apply only to the US or be somewhat eurocentric. Please feel free to comment on international differences, and if you suggest additions to the list, it would be convenient to identify your country of residence. Thank you!) (I always work harder on things I'm going to get no academic credit for. *shrug*)

As an adult/as a parent:

1. My preferences and prejudices become “values.” They must be respected and they better not be questioned, especially not by (my) children.

2. What I say goes. It doesn’t really matter if I’m “right” on any universal level, I think I’m right and I make the rules. If someone makes an irrevocable argument against me, I can do any of these things (insert how to discount someone else’s argument here), and if they are a/my child I don’t even need to. I can just ignore them because I have the power to make decisions and run the household however I see fit, regardless of what the affected people say.

(Here we come to one main YR tenet: No, you do not have the right to raise your children however you want. Not if it’s not taking their own wishes into account. Ruining people’s lives is never a right. And that’s what it does, because the world is so badly designed that if you don’t pursue your dreams beginning from childhood, you’re going to miss the most important chances to mold your life around them.)

3. I can use one argument to shoot down someone else’s, but then go against it the next day, and god forbid anyone (especially children) call me on it or I will take offense. I don’t have to sit here in my own house and be/feel insulted...they do.

4. I can speak on my own behalf in public forums, and it will be treated as valid.

5. Others cannot restrict what I can do in my own home, short of breaking the law. If they try, I can object and others will see my objection as valid.

6. I can demand that (my) children treat me with respect, which can consist of anything from tone of voice to unquestioning obedience, because I am an adult/their parent. “Respect your elders” is a widely accepted value in my society. If they do not, I can accuse them of not respecting tradition, which is also a widely accepted value in my society - at least in elder-younger relations.

7. The generation gap allows me to discount differences between me and (my) children by turning them into something that the majority of autonomous citizens will laugh at and take my side on.

8. Asking me personal questions, telling me how to dress, and viewing my computer activity is considered invasive to privacy.

9. Free and uncensored access to the Internet is considered a right.

10. My mental capability to make informed decisions, regardless of what is informing them, is not dismissed.

11. I can actually vote on the laws and legislators that dictate what I can and can’t do.

12. As a voter, my opinion is automatically important to legislators who rely on my vote.

13. My body is legally my own to do with as I see fit. No one else can restrict the things I do to my own body. No one else can do things to my body without my permission.

14. Even if I live in the US or other countries with curfew laws, there are no demographic-based laws restricting the times of day I can be out in public and make use of public facilities.

15. If I am capable of driving a car, it is legal for me to take the required examinations to be authorized to drive a car.

16. Even if I am a new driver, I have less restrictions on my driving than youth (regardless of experience) who are not legally adults under 18 or adults under 21.

17. I can choose to harm myself by drinking or smoking.¹

18. There are no laws telling me that I must remain in an enclosed area under the supervision and guidance of authorities I must obey for the majority of my waking life. My future does not rely on doing work without recompense.

19. I can pay for and use independent living quarters.

20. I can work to earn my own living.

21. The phrase “no taxation without representation” applies to me.

22. The fact that I have a sexuality is widely accepted and recognized in my society. I am allowed to pursue my sexual desires.

23. No person or law can tell me what to study. I may choose my own course of study as relevant to my interests and future intentions.

24. The money I make does not have to be kept under the supervision of anyone else.

25. My access to food and shelter does not rely on pleasing others regardless of what I want.

26. The vast majority of people whose views are represented in public media are on my side of the “adult” age line.

27. All forms of demographic categorization that could disadvantage people on my side of the “adult” age line are considered valid subjects for activism (i.e. gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, age as it affects seniors but not youth.)

28. If I am affected by any of these demographic categorizations, I can pursue activism on my own behalf and it will not be seen as any less valid because I belong to said demographic.

29. In almost all of these cases, there are governmental agencies formed specifically to help protect my rights, and people of my demographic are allowed equally active membership. These organizations do not work to increase the oppressions that people of demographic face in the name of protecting us.

30. In almost all of these cases, the experience of my disadvantaged demographic is considered a valid subject of study in many (and most major) institutions of higher education, and several classes are offered with this focus.

31. I never have to lie to be allowed on an Internet site.

32. Almost all fictional representations of and nonfictional guides to the experiences of people in my age group are actually written by people in my age group, so I can expect a certain degree of accuracy or at least respectfulness in their depictions.

33. It is considered assault to inflict physical pain on me without permission. I have clear avenues of legal recourse to pursue that will help protect me from assault.

34. The people I live with cannot restrict where I go and when, who I talk to, what I spend my time doing, or my access to the outside world.

35. If I am lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, I can be sure that no one is going to belittle or patronise me by telling me it's just a phase, or that I will someday grow out of it.

36. My hobbies and interests are not dismissed as a fad, temporary passion, fake or morally wrong because of my demographic.

37. My mistakes aren't justified or criticized more because of my age.

38. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had ageist overtones.

39. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my age would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.

40. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my age.

41. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my age category.

42. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals of my age category.

43. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my age group.

44. If I am outside late at night, I can be sure no police officer is going to stop me and demand to see my ID just because of my age.

45. Society lets me make my own decisions and does not try to protect me against my will.

46. No one will baptise me, try to indoctrinate me into a religion or force me to attend religious services without my consent.

47. Nobody can force me to take medicine I don't think I need, or that might endanger my health more than cure me.

48. People don't use my age group as an insult.²

49. People don't use my belonging to a demographic to deny or dismiss my understanding of myself or my knowledge of my own needs.³

50. I can legally see anything that does not hurt others against their will.

51. I expect people to presume intellect and competence with me.

52. I will never be forced to go off medication.

53. I will never be punished for the actions of other people my age.

54. If I am coerced into humiliating myself, I can pursue legal recourse.

55. No one is allowed to yank my cell phone out of my hands simply because I have it out.

56. No one will force me to eat. I can eat what I want. I will not be forced to either be a vegetarian or eat meat. I may or may not follow a religious diet, according to my own religious preferences.

57. If my room is a horrible mess right now, no one will punish me for it.

58. My sentences are appropriate to my crimes. The law treats me fairly, giving me a penalty that suits the infringement. (Maybe rephrase to be less open to subjective interpretation?)

59. If I do something illegal, I'm not shamed by the media as a reflection on my generation.

60. Violence against me is never excused as an acceptable response to an insult, but is considered assault.

Endnotes:
1. (US-specific ages) Youth under 18 and adults under 21 may not choose to harm themselves by drinking or smoking, even though they have bodily autonomy after 18 and could choose to harm themselves by fighting and/or dying for their country.
2. e.g. "you're such a 12-year-old", "don't act like a kid"
3. Do all adults know what is good for them? How can one know for sure that something is good for him/her?
06-09-2011 09:19 PM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Adult privilege

If somebody attacks me unprovoked, it will not be dismissed as a consequence of the attacker's age or age and gender. e.g. "Kids will be kids. That's just how boys/girls play"

I may get into a fight with someone or I may need to defend myself - I can be confident that the punishing body will make a distinction between those two scenarios.

I am not subject to "adult repellents" or assumed to be a shoplifter simply because of my age.

I can be confident that should I be accused of a crime, I will have an impartial party there.

Should I complain about the state of my life, I will not be told that these are the "best years of my life."

I may go into a store with 30 friends if I wish, if we can all fit in there.

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

((Google Asperger's Syndrome))

stupid article
(This post was last modified: 04-05-2013 10:23 AM by Trekkie_Aspie.)
04-05-2013 10:09 AM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #3
Adult privilege

I will admit, it's pretty awesome being an adult.

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04-05-2013 11:51 AM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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RE: Adult privilege

Yes, Wes, it is indeed.

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

((Google Asperger's Syndrome))

stupid article
04-06-2013 09:12 AM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #5
Adult privilege

Except taxes. Fuck the government.

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04-06-2013 04:09 PM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Adult privilege

Well, that bit's bad but...

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

((Google Asperger's Syndrome))

stupid article
04-07-2013 01:56 AM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #7
Adult privilege

And don't forget jobs. Those suck too.

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04-07-2013 03:00 PM
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Thought Criminal Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Adult privilege

Wes sums up being an adult.
Still cant buy alcohol though, I can join the Army and shoot at sand niggers with an Abrams but god forbid someone give that guy a drink.
(This post was last modified: 04-07-2013 03:38 PM by Thought Criminal.)
04-07-2013 03:37 PM
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Thought Criminal Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Adult privilege

Also, welcome to SS Sophie.
Try to stick around, this forum is rather cynical but there are some good people on here. I guess you won't be too phased considering you frequent Snipe Me.
04-07-2013 03:39 PM
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HawkbitAlpha Offline
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Post: #10
Adult privilege

Replying almost 2 years after the topic is posted = win

RIP GWEDIN (2013-2017)
RIP URITIYOGI (2016-2017)
RIP NIGHT (2009-2017)
RIP VONUNOV (2008-2017)
RIP WES/THEWAKE (2007-2017)
RIP USERNAME (2013-2017)
RIP HAWKBIT (2013-2017)
RIP SS

"Write me a little report of [my video], so I know you watched it, or you get another warning. One of my other goals is to make this forum a bit of my own class...So, tell me, how you feel about the new rule of having you do homework? Or you get another warning. So, do you want to do this or not?...Please send a PM and tell me if you're willing or not. I will probably give you 24 hours to send the PM. No PM will indicate to me that, no, you don't want to do things in this new way. So, you will be saying goodbye."
-Stevehein, promise-maker and Führer moderator of SJW-Survival, 2017

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04-08-2013 12:58 PM
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Thought Criminal Offline
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RE: Adult privilege

Oh wow. lol
I didn't even notice.
04-08-2013 01:29 PM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Adult privilege

(04-08-2013 12:58 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Replying almost 2 years after the topic is posted = win

Trekkie_Aspie has a strange habit of grave digging.

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04-09-2013 03:34 PM
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Lime Offline
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Post: #13
Adult privilege

Who cares

For those who live in the US, how about:

The Bill of Rights actually applies to me.
04-15-2013 08:43 AM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Adult privilege

(04-09-2013 03:34 PM)Wes Wrote:  
(04-08-2013 12:58 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Replying almost 2 years after the topic is posted = win

Trekkie_Aspie has a strange habit of grave digging.

(04-15-2013 08:43 AM)Lime Wrote:  Who cares

For those who live in the US, how about:

The Bill of Rights actually applies to me.

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

((Google Asperger's Syndrome))

stupid article
04-25-2013 12:39 AM
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The man Offline
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Post: #15
Adult privilege

BUMP.

their pee should hv been shot out like a ki blast breaking the rocks

oh and also No one has any rights. We're free, rights create invisible restrictions. But we live in a society where the majority accepts rights to be true.
05-21-2017 06:12 AM
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Post: #16
Adult privilege

KNOW YOUR PRIVLEGE.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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05-21-2017 08:43 AM
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Avatar Korra Offline
There is no cause of anything

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Post: #17
Adult privilege

I'd put this on the Instagram if it was shorter.


I've been slacking on the Instagram.

My lazy ass..

"I’M BEGGING YOU, PRINCE ZUKO! It’s time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big question: who are you and what do YOU want?"
" While it is always best to believe in one’s self, a little help from others can be a great blessing"
-Uncle Iroh(Avatar: the Last Airbender)
05-21-2017 03:33 PM
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