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August 2001 - June 2017
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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
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Most people like to learn stuff, I would say, but for me, I take it to the next next: I cram.
I try to learn anything I can think of. You might think that's fucking great, it is, but not entirely. Like I said, I like to cram, even if I don't understand it at all. I like to cram even when I know I'm gonna forget it in a week. Why I cram?
Well, I have this fear that if I don't know as much as you then I will be labeled "stupid", or "ignorant". I don't want to be left behind, so I cram. I'll give you an example of what I'm trying to achieve right now.
I'm trying to:
* Watch two videos on economics
* Watch four videos on evolution (Which I'm deeply interested in)
* Read a book on genetics
* Read a book on american history
* Browse dozens of Wikipedia articles on world history
* Browse dozens of Wikipedia articles on economic classes
* Watch four videos on non-religious topics
* Read two books on sociology
* Dozens of articles and watch videos on weapons
* Read three articles on writing
* Read two articles and three books on drawing
* Order three books on astronomy, chemistry, and cosmology
* Order two books on computer programming
* Learn to program
* Learn how to make music
* Order three books on neurology
* Order two books on anti-school topics
* Order three books on psychology
* Order two books on physics
* Read several books by famous authors
* Read three books on algebra
That's all I can think of right now.
I have an obsession, I have a problem, but I don't know what it is.
Previously known as Derchin.
07-10-2011 12:04 PM
Thanks given by:
SH☮TGUNHEⒶRT
Hi, I 'm anti-civ.
Posts: 775
Joined: Mar 2011
Listen to Aus Rotten while reading Nineteen Eighty Four. Take a break look up lyrics, research themes. PLug in my headphones take a walk and observe the world around me.
To be an anarchist, is to suffer greatly. To be a black woman is to suffer secretly. To be the earth, is to suffer silently.
I wish no harm on anyone, but those whose harmful ways will not stop without the same harm.
It's time we kill this cancerous system, before it kills us and everything left of gaia. Rise from our immaturity and take back our autonomy!
Listen to Aus Rotten while reading Nineteen Eighty Four. Take a break look up lyrics, research themes. PLug in my headphones take a walk and observe the world around me.
Yea, thats not working for you.
If you wanna learn watch the young turks on youtube watch the history channel.
That's a helluva lot. I kind of respect you for it, though.
A lot of people say that I'm smart, and I guess here's why:
1. I study what I am really interested. Music, Politics, whatever it may be, I study it fanatically. If I like it.
2. I listen and read totally random crap that happens to be lying around. I listen to NPR, I read old books from the library dumpster, I listen to old people talk, I listen to people who I totally disagree with, I listen to church sermons, I talk to random kids at my school, people on the street, I click 'random article' on wikipedia (which is also a good way to find cool music).
Don't worry about memorizing stuff that bores you.
Don't worry about other people's standards. You're smart enough to know that knowledge is power. That should be a good start for now.
They in the sea being burnt, they in the burnt ship drowned.
07-10-2011 01:23 PM
Thanks given by:
SH☮TGUNHEⒶRT
Hi, I 'm anti-civ.
Posts: 775
Joined: Mar 2011
Listen to Aus Rotten while reading Nineteen Eighty Four. Take a break look up lyrics, research themes. PLug in my headphones take a walk and observe the world around me.
Yea, thats not working for you.
If you wanna learn watch the young turks on youtube watch the history channel.
To be an anarchist, is to suffer greatly. To be a black woman is to suffer secretly. To be the earth, is to suffer silently.
I wish no harm on anyone, but those whose harmful ways will not stop without the same harm.
It's time we kill this cancerous system, before it kills us and everything left of gaia. Rise from our immaturity and take back our autonomy!
Listen to Aus Rotten while reading Nineteen Eighty Four. Take a break look up lyrics, research themes. PLug in my headphones take a walk and observe the world around me.
Yea, thats not working for you.
If you wanna learn watch the young turks on youtube watch the history channel.
The only thing I'm focusing on at the moment is learning to play a majority of so form My Chemical Romance's Black Parade album on the guitar. Though, like 5 or 6 songs at once
Hehe I learn on my own, and I love it! I'm learning to program, 3d modelling and animation, 2d animation, physics, philosophy, DJing, music production and I might start Astronomy soon. At school I learn barely anything, because I'm FORCED to do things. I don't want to be forced, I want to learn on my own...
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote: Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.