Creating Dissent Against School - A Field Manual. (EFO)

[SoulRiser]

Quote:We could have a frequent response page.

http://www.school-survival.net/about/faq.php


More of those are always good though.

[Super Max61]

Could we use those?

[Super Max61]

I wrote up a rough draft for an intro for the site, I'll post it up here when it's refined.

[Miller0700]

Can somebody make part 4? I don't feel like it. What part 4 is about is on the previous page.

[Shadowpool13]

Derchin Wrote:Can somebody make part 4? I don't feel like it. What part 4 is about is on the previous page.

Spreading the word.

Here's a proposed outline:

Mediums of Expression
*Word of mouth
*Fliers
-->Flier design tips
-->Printing
-->Distribution
-->Wheatpaste
*Mainstream Media
-->What makes a story
General Notes on Propaganda
*Knowing your audience
*Surveillance and escalation of injustice
*Create an image --Dissent in style
*Subtle cues

I'll have some time to work on this tonight.

[Miller0700]

Shadowpool13 Wrote:

Derchin Wrote:Can somebody make part 4? I don't feel like it. What part 4 is about is on the previous page.

Spreading the word.

Here's a proposed outline:

Mediums of Expression
*Word of mouth
*Fliers
-->Flier design tips
-->Printing
-->Distribution
-->Wheatpaste
*Mainstream Media
-->What makes a story
General Notes on Propaganda
*Knowing your audience
*Surveillance and escalation of injustice
*Create an image --Dissent in style
*Subtle cues

I'll have some time to work on this tonight.

Ok, good.

[LOON_ATTIC]

I'd try to write something if I had any experience on creating dissent... is that being 'whiny' and negative tends to drive people away or make them not pay attention to you, while using sarcasm can be a bit helpful. I've been in situations where I could argue with the staff in front of everyone but I haven't done it out of fear, maybe getting excessively punished or something in such a situation could cause dissent.

Feels like a pain in the ass to explain, but... after an activity at my school that took about the last 3 hours of school, outside, where clubs were selling shit and stuff, and there was NO "learning or education" whatsoever, although we weren't allowed to leave on threats of being fined or arrested for truancy. We were told to stay in the area, even on the last minute of school, we were told to stand behind a line and shit, and people were treated with complete disrespect.
It felt like a perfect opportunity to confront the staff about the morality of what they were doing, but I was too afraid and conformed myself my "whining" to my friends, who pretty much completely disregarded me.

[Super Max61]

Here's my rough draft for the intro text for the site.....please pm me proofreading if you can, with your text in bold.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. If we improve the school system
then it's better for the next generation. So
please, before you disregard this please listen to
our message with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system started? It started in the Prussian empire,
in Europe in the 19th century (1819?). The system
was designed by the government, specifically, to
create a group of people that were all the same,
and that thought the same. They also learned how
to blindly submit and obey to authority. If you
take a look at our school system it is
disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's school system.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place let's talk about what needs to
happen. First off, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls your every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

[Miller0700]

I edited it slightly.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. If we do accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off for the next generation. So
please, before you disregard this please listen to
our message with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system started? It started in the Prussian empire,
in Europe in the 19th century (1819?). The system
was designed by the government, specifically, to
create a group of people that acted
and thought the same. They also learned how
to blindly submit and obey to authority. If you
take a look at our school system it is
disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's school system.
This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First off, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls your every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

[Super Max61]

Derchin Wrote:I edited it slightly.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. If we do accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off for the next generation. So
please, before you disregard this please listen to
our message with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system started? It started in the Prussian empire,
in Europe in the 19th century (1819?). The system
was designed by the government, specifically, to
create a group of people that acted
and thought the same. They also learned how
to blindly submit and obey to authority. If you
take a look at our school system it is
disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's school system.
This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First off, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls your every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

slightly improved, so proofread that.

I feel proud of myself.

[LightAbyssion]

The pamphlet has gone beta. Tell me what you think:

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=e...i&hl=en_GB

I printed and folded a test copy, and it looks pretty good.

[Miller0700]

When we're done, I'm gonna post it on two writing sites so it can get more views. I sourced you all as contributors.


Links:

http://www.writing.com
http://www.storywrite.com

[Absnt]

Super Max61 Wrote:

Derchin Wrote:I edited it slightly.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century (1819?). The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
They were also "brainwashed" to blindly submit to and obey
authority. If you take a look our schooling system; you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do.

This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

I edited it a bit, I might change it some more later. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, feel free to change it or tell me if you don't like it or whatever.

[Super Max61]

Absentinsomniac Wrote:

Super Max61 Wrote:

Derchin Wrote:I edited it slightly.

Hidden stuff:

V1 Edfreedom.org site intro

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century (1819?). The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
They were also "brainwashed" to blindly submit to and obey
authority. If you take a look our schooling system; you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do.

This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

I edited it a bit, I might change it some more later. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, feel free to change it or tell me if you don't like it or whatever.

Ditto, I'm just glad to be contributing. Me and absent have talked on skype, maybe we should have a group for all those interested in developing the site on skype?

EDIT: The essay is looking sharp, I'm gonna have a few people proofread it and edit it accordingly again.

Whenever you edit it at a version number, the above essay is considered V1.

[Miller0700]

Absentinsomniac Wrote:

Super Max61 Wrote:

Derchin Wrote:I edited it slightly.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century (1819?). The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
They were also "brainwashed" to blindly submit to and obey
authority. If you take a look our schooling system; you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do.

This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

I edited it a bit, I might change it some more later. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, feel free to change it or tell me if you don't like it or whatever.

It sounds good so far.

[Super Max61]

I had someone proofread it, changes in Bold

Hidden stuff:

Edfreedom.org site intro V2

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to change the schooling system
for the better. When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century (no 1819?). The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same-they were also "brainwashed" to blindly submit to and obey
authority. If you take a look our schooling system (no ;) you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, it may do some good, but this is saying that if you imprison someone and teach them things, a lot of which is impertinent, is good. (Revise, couldn't phrase well)

This system destroys children's inert desire to
learn about the world around them and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we've established that a change
needs to take place, let's talk about what needs to
happen. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's not based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own electives, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do. You can tell your
friends about us, you can write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

[LightAbyssion]

This intro you guys have is really good. I went through it and edited some repeated phrases and such.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will be better off not only for the next generation,
but for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement, please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire of Europe, during the 19th century. This
regime was designed by the government to specifically
create a monotonous group of people who acted and thought the same.
Its purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If one takes a look at our modern schooling system,
you would notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's system was designed to do.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way,
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we have established a change
must take place, let us talk about what needs to
be done. First, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
truly live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next, we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's no longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to our site or your teachers, and most of all,
keep us in mind.

How that?


EDIT: Aww, I edited it right when the V2 was posted.

[Super Max61]

LightAbyssion Wrote:This intro you guys have is really good. I went through it and edited some repeated phrases and such.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will be better off not only for the next generation,
but for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement, please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire of Europe, during the 19th century (1819?). This
regime was designed by the government to specifically
create a monotonous group of people who acted and thought the same.
Its purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If one takes a look at our modern schooling system,
you would notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's system was designed to do.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way,
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we have established a change
must take place, let us talk about what needs to
be done. First, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
truly live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next, we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's no longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to our site or your teachers, and most of all,
keep us in mind.

How that?


EDIT: Aww, I edited it right when the V2 was posted.

It's all good, if I revise it again (likely) I'll integrate your work, I like some of your phrasing.

[LightAbyssion]

Super Max61 Wrote:

LightAbyssion Wrote:This intro you guys have is really good. I went through it and edited some repeated phrases and such.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will be better off not only for the next generation,
but for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement, please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire of Europe, during the 19th century (1819?). This
regime was designed by the government to specifically
create a monotonous group of people who acted and thought the same.
Its purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If one takes a look at our modern schooling system,
you would notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's system was designed to do.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way,
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we have established a change
must take place, let us talk about what needs to
be done. First, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
truly live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next, we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's no longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to our site or your teachers, and most of all,
keep us in mind.

How that?


EDIT: Aww, I edited it right when the V2 was posted.

It's all good, if I revise it again (likely) I'll integrate your work, I like some of your phrasing.

K. Here's that line from V2 you said wasn't phrased well:

Quote:If you take a look at our schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all well and good... if you consider forcefully
teaching someone impertinent facts as positive influence.

[Super Max61]

LightAbyssion Wrote:

Super Max61 Wrote:

LightAbyssion Wrote:This intro you guys have is really good. I went through it and edited some repeated phrases and such.

Hidden stuff:

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organisation aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will be better off not only for the next generation,
but for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement, please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century. This regime was designed by the government to specifically
create a monotonous group of people who acted and thought the same. Its purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If you take a look our modern schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully
teaching someone impertinent facts as positive influence.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn a certain way,
and doesn't educate them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we have established a change
must take place, let us talk about what needs to
be done. First, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies need to be removed. Tell me, do we
truly live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next, we must change
the graduation requirement so that it's no longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
schedules and more elective choices, or to
make their own elective, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

(expand if features are added) You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to our site or your teachers, and most of all,
keep us in mind.

How that?


EDIT: Aww, I edited it right when the V2 was posted.

It's all good, if I revise it again (likely) I'll integrate your work, I like some of your phrasing.

K. Here's that line from V2 you said wasn't phrased well:

Quote:If you take a look at our schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all well and good... if you consider forcefully
teaching someone impertinent facts as positive influence.

Hidden stuff:

Edfreedom.org site intro V3

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an organization aiming to reform the public schooling system. When we accomplish our goal, the school system will better off not only for the next generation, but also for society in general. So before you disregard our movement please listen to our message with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century. The
system was designed by the government specifically to create a group of people that acted and thought the same. It's purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure obedience and subordination. If you take a look our schooling system you'll notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully teaching someone impertinent facts as positive.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile citizens. It kills creativity, forces students to learn an unnatural way and doesn't teach them to an acceptable degree.

Now that we've established that a change must take place, let's talk about what needs to be done. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws and policies must be removed. Tell me, do we really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change the graduation requirement so that ther are not longer based on taking classes, but on learning, period. Having looser schedules and more elective choices, or to be allowed to make their own electives, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

You may be wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your friends about the EFO, write essays about us and submit them to us or your teachers, and you can keep us in mind.

Integrated your version.

I think your rephrasing really made it sound better, good job.

[Miller0700]

Slightly edited it again.

Hidden stuff:

Edfreedom.org site intro V4

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century. The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
It's purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If you take a look our schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully
teaching someone meaningless and menial facts as "educating" them.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. By doing so, it destroys a great potential for brilliance in children.
It kills creativity, forces students to learn unnatural and submissive ways
and doesn't educate them on tips on how to survive in world today.

Now that we've established that a change
must take place, let's talk about what needs to
be done. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies must be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that ther are not longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
be allowed to make their own electives, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

[Super Max61]

Derchin Wrote:Slightly edited it again.

Hidden stuff:

Edfreedom.org site intro V4

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century. The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
It's purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If you take a look our schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully
teaching someone meaningless and menial facts as "educating" them.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. By doing so, it destroys a great potential for brilliance in children.
It kills creativity, forces students to learn unnatural and submissive ways
and doesn't educate them on tips on how to survive in world today.

Now that we've established that a change
must take place, let's talk about what needs to
be done. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies must be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that ther are not longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
be allowed to make their own electives, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

I like v3 better, but that may be bias simply because it is mine. I think I should be responsible for producing the final draft, how about I wait 24 hours and let people go to town editing it, then integrate all of the best revisions?

[Miller0700]

Super Max61 Wrote:

Derchin Wrote:Slightly edited it again.

Hidden stuff:

Edfreedom.org site intro V4

Welcome to Edfreedom.org. We are an
organization aiming to reform the public schooling system.
When we accomplish our goal, the school
system will better off not only for the next generation,
but also for society in general. So before you
disregard our movement please listen to our message
with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling
system came into existence? It started in the Prussian
empire, in Europe during the 19th century. The
system was designed by the government specifically to
create a group of people that acted and thought the same.
It's purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure
obedience and subordination. If you take a look our schooling system you'll
notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system
does the same things as Prussia's schooling system was designed
to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully
teaching someone meaningless and menial facts as "educating" them.

This system destroys the inert desire of children to
learn about the world around them, and turns them into docile
citizens. By doing so, it destroys a great potential for brilliance in children.
It kills creativity, forces students to learn unnatural and submissive ways
and doesn't educate them on tips on how to survive in world today.

Now that we've established that a change
must take place, let's talk about what needs to
be done. First of all, all compulsory attendance laws
and policies must be removed. Tell me, do we
really live in the land of the free if a bell
controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5
days a week, 180 days a year? Next we must change
the graduation requirement so that ther are not longer based on
taking classes, but on learning, period. Having
looser schedules and more elective choices, or to
be allowed to make their own electives, would foster their desire
to learn. If you learn what you want to learn,
then you want to keep learning.

You may be
wondering what you can do to aid us. You can tell your
friends about the EFO, write essays about us
and submit them to us or your teachers, and you
can keep us in mind.

I like v3 better, but that may be bias simply because it is mine. I think I should be responsible for producing the final draft, how about I wait 24 hours and let people go to town editing it, then integrate all of the best revisions?

Cool.

[Super Max61]

Alright, everyone go crazy revising until 9 pm Pacific time tomorrow.

I'll integrate all the revisions, and that will be the final draft.

Have fun!

[Absnt]

http://www.thewritemarket.com/promotion ... ion%20Page

^ That page has some decent tips on website introductions, and I think we should probably pay attention to what their saying.

Namely:

Quote:- Offer a solution to a problem that your visitor might have. (Obviously, school.)

- Create urgency - time limited offer. (E.g. We could say something like "Waiting for the revolution is the fastest way to kill it."

Quote:- Opening Sentence: The opening sentence should blast people with the biggest, best benefit your product has to offer - and why it's unique, why it's better than anyone else's product or service. Marketing experts have termed this sentence "the unique selling proposition".

^As for that, I think it makes sense. If people come to our site and see an introduction that doesn't hook them, they will leave. It has to make people want to stay on the site. They can learn all the details of the movement later, but the introduction has to make them as interested as possible.

Quote:Closing Sentence: Entice them to click to the next page. Give them a hint of what's on the next page - or ask another question which will lead them to the next page.

^ Maybe we could put something at the end, like a link to sign up or a form for them to sign up to weekly email updates or something?

[Super Max61]

Absentinsomniac Wrote:http://www.thewritemarket.com/promotion/...ion%20Page

^ That page has some decent tips on website introductions, and I think we should probably pay attention to what their saying.

Namely:

Quote:- Offer a solution to a problem that your visitor might have. (Obviously, school.)

- Create urgency - time limited offer. (E.g. We could say something like "Waiting for the revolution is the fastest way to kill it."

Quote:- Opening Sentence: The opening sentence should blast people with the biggest, best benefit your product has to offer - and why it's unique, why it's better than anyone else's product or service. Marketing experts have termed this sentence "the unique selling proposition".

^As for that, I think it makes sense. If people come to our site and see an introduction that doesn't hook them, they will leave. It has to make people want to stay on the site. They can learn all the details of the movement later, but the introduction has to make them as interested as possible.

Quote:Closing Sentence: Entice them to click to the next page. Give them a hint of what's on the next page - or ask another question which will lead them to the next page.

^ Maybe we could put something at the end, like a link to sign up or a form for them to sign up to weekly email updates or something?

Yes! That's a great idea, absent. People, please use that when you revise.

[Miller0700]

Super Max61 Wrote:Yes! That's a great idea, absent. People, please use that when you revise.

Exactly.

[Absnt]

LightAbyssion Wrote:The pamphlet has gone beta. Tell me what you think:

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=e...i&hl=en_GB

I printed and folded a test copy, and it looks pretty good.

The only problems I can find are:

#1.) In the "Changes Proposed" section, the first sentacne should probably read:
"Considering how educational standards are at an all time low"
instead of
"Considering how educational standard is at an all time low"

and

#2.) I think you should replace "Compulsion schooling" with compulsory schooling in the one title, and at the links section...

Other than that, I think it's perfect.

[LightAbyssion]

Absentinsomniac Wrote:

LightAbyssion Wrote:The pamphlet has gone beta. Tell me what you think:

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=e...i&hl=en_GB

I printed and folded a test copy, and it looks pretty good.

The only problems I can find are:

#1.) In the "Changes Proposed" section, the first sentacne should probably read:
"Considering how educational standards are at an all time low"
instead of
"Considering how educational standard is at an all time low"

and

#2.) I think you should replace "Compulsion schooling" with compulsory schooling in the one title, and at the links section...

Other than that, I think it's perfect.

Ah, thanks for the suggestions. I think I typed "complusion" instead of "compulsory" because I was rereading that article by John Gatto where he called it that, and I was making the pamphlet at the same time.

[LightAbyssion]

First off, I'm going to apologize for molesting this thing, but after reading Absent's suggestions, I realized our intro was missing a crucial a point. We were preaching our idea, but we weren't selling it. So I added some points on what people would gain if they supported us. Since the EFO isn't a consumer's product, it was difficult to make the opening sentence a selling point, so I started with a question. Then I bolded our main idea. Truthfully, I ripped this shit from my pamphlet and swapped words around, but whatever:

Hidden stuff:

Considering how educational standards are at an all-time low, have you payed close attention when politicians discuss the state of our schools? They suggest remedies such as extending school hours, as if the children are failing in this system due to a lack of effort. Sadly, the truth of the matter is this: there is nothing wrong with the students; it is the regime which is flawed. That is why this site exists. We have the solution others have failed to offer. Once we accomplish our goal, the school system will not only be better off for the next generation, but also for society in general. However, prior to discussing the solution, we must first understand the problem. So before you disregard our message, please read the following with an open mind.

Do you know how the compulsory schooling system came into existence? It started in the Prussian empire of Europe during the 19th century. The system was meticulously designed by the government to create a group of people that acted and thought in the same manner. Its purpose was not intellectual development, but to ensure obedience and subordination. If you take a look at our modern schooling system, you'll notice that it is disturbingly similar. In fact, our school system excels at the same things Prussia's system was designed to do. Granted, this is all fine...if you consider forcefully teaching someone impertinent and menial facts as "educating" them.

This system corrupts the inert desire of children to learn about the world they live in, and turns them into docile citizens. By killing creativity, it destroys a great potential for brilliance in youth. Our schools coerce students to learn in unnatural and submissive ways, then fail to educate them on how to survive in the modern world. Besides, why be “passable” in various subjects they don't care for, when students could be astonishing in the one topic they believe in?

Assuming we have established that a change must take place, let us talk about what needs to be done. First, all compulsory attendance laws and policies must be abolished. Tell me, do we truly live in the land of the free if a bell controls our every action for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 180 days a year? Next, we must change graduation requirements so that they're no longer based on how many courses are taken, but on actual learning within those courses. Having looser schedules and more elective choices, or allowing students to make their own electives, would foster their desire to educate themselves. If you learn what you want to learn, then you will continue learning. This means there would be no more kids in classes they don't want to be in. No more skipping classes due to disinterest, and less stress for teachers to deal with. Understand that we have nothing to lose. Of course, while the solution really is that simple, a great revision requires greater detail, which you can find by clicking here. (obviously, we would link to a detailed page discussing the changes here)

So if you wish to aid us, there are many things you can do. Tell your friends about the EFO, write essays and submit them to this site or your teachers, and keep our purpose in mind. Anything and everything you do helps us, because while knowledge is useful, action is paramount.

Oh, and I recommend putting the "welcome to edfreedom.org" somewhere at the top of the homepage, as opposed to the actual intro paragraph, 'cause it feels tacked-on and not powerful enough. Anyway, you guys use what you like from my version.