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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Gender Issues etc.
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #1
Gender Issues etc.

In between your present moment and your birth there was some kind of life filled with things.

These things are of various kinds and types. Some of this things have an impact on you, others could matter less.

Anybody who takes something about their current self and suggests that it indicates something about their innate inborn nature is in effect saying the degree to which my environment shaped me is insignificant.

this is why most of us depressed about school typically reject the idea that depression is something both caused and cured by chemical imbalances. frequently factors in a persons life are clear causes of a mental state though in some cases this is denied.

my wife went through some serious physical and emotional trauma AND THEN the only way she could recover was to have her mother help us out. Long story short, it didn't go good.

Perhaps some anti-depressants could have made a difference, but such pills dont stop offensive comments and social pressure, though they may help you get through the shitty time somehow...???

take then something new I learned about my wife today, she wishes she was a guy.

I am privy to her life, so I could quickly put the pieces together and she agreed with the picture I formed. a very skewed outlook guided her parents "parenting" and on top of that her spoiled brother was allowed every freedom she wasnt. she found girls in general to be annoying, sprinkle in a weird element of shame for the fact that when my wife was growing some pretty big boobs her mom refused to purchase a proper bra for her size, and add too a misguided fanatacism about Islamic feminine modesty to the mix. a little extra mistrust to get her married young (thankfully to me) and you got the perfect recipe for someone to resent their own body for its gender.

this is of course a single case, but my precept i think is well demonstrated. that you cant rule out your own life when trying to understand your life, its a very clear contradiction.

that being said, what exactly is the use for anti-depressants? if their purpose is survival then this website is an anti-depressant, except that those pills wont help you realize what kind of an active role you should take, how to work towards a better future.

you cant move into the future without first knowing the past, and you cant move forward without leaving a few things behind.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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(This post was last modified: 06-16-2017 02:05 PM by the Analogist.)
06-09-2017 01:03 PM
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 Thanks given by: Rule_BreakerXVIII , Avatar Korra , SoulRiser , Jop
the Analogist Offline
Connector of Dots

Posts: 820
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Post: #2
RE: Gender Issues etc.

so yeah, my wife is apparenty friends with a few guys who used to be ladies. she goes to a support group for these people.

A long time ago I committed to the idea that I as a person of moderate learning in Islam would be needed in my badly ignorant hometown. Allah is giving me plenty of challenges to prove my conviction beyond this example.
...
giddy up!

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
Follow me on Twitter!
(This post was last modified: 06-16-2017 02:34 PM by the Analogist.)
06-16-2017 02:07 PM
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 Thanks given by: SoulRiser , Rule_BreakerXVIII
Jop Offline
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Post: #3
Gender Issues etc.

Could you tell me what does Allah have against transgenderism?

I think it's glorified genital mutilation and plastic surgery, but I doubt that's the problem Islam has with it.

(I'm not religious)
(This post was last modified: 06-18-2017 06:48 PM by Jop.)
06-18-2017 06:44 PM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Gender Issues etc.

I dont actually know. I've got an Email out to a guy whose opinion I trust, but he hasnt replied yet.

I dont think in Islam we like changing genders, but I've heard an opinion from like a million years ago that actual hermaphrodites should choose and stick with one gender once they are mature enough to make an informed decision.

it seems to me that having your gender literally assigned when you are a baby (born a hermaphrodite) would be wrong Islamically and lead to issues down the road. I think in that special case you really just need to let the kid grow up and choose for himself with mature insight

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
Follow me on Twitter!
(This post was last modified: 06-18-2017 07:01 PM by the Analogist.)
06-18-2017 07:01 PM
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Jop Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Gender Issues etc.

Then what is this challenge from Allah if you don't even know what it is about...
06-20-2017 06:26 PM
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the Analogist Offline
Connector of Dots

Posts: 820
Joined: Feb 2016
Thanks: 231
Given 434 thank(s) in 261 post(s)
Post: #6
RE: Gender Issues etc.

the challenge from Allah is: here are some people with unpleasant problems, prove that you care by helping them and getting over the unpleasantness.

what I don't understand is the generalized stance on some of these issues (transgenderism, etc.) according to the Sunnah. my ideas on how to effectively deal with these problems, while recognizing they are problems, does not replace an Islamic opinion in the status of people so afflicted.

the distinction I make is between my opinion and a more legitimate informed Islamic one. I dont know the things that Muslim scholars know, so where I suspect there are gaps in my understanding i seek out their counsel.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
Follow me on Twitter!
(This post was last modified: 06-20-2017 06:47 PM by the Analogist.)
06-20-2017 06:46 PM
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