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August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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Inner Strength
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #1
Inner Strength

I just put this together based on a recent and interesting experience.

So my wife has had a pretty shitty childhood and has gone through a ton of shit this year. but now she's at that point where she can see the light at the end of the tunnel. (I refuse to elaborate on this, just accept that it is true)

Her therapist suggested she go to this group therapy session and from this she made some friends. I let her go and more a less decided to just trust her. my doubts about her fidelity are really just an expression of my own feelings of inadequacy which are actually rapidly diminishing lately. Now that I seem to be figuring out this whole "husband" thing and she has had a chance to actually meet with similar people in person and feel support from outside of her house, she's feeling a ton more hopeful about life in general.

I don't trust the obvious interpretation here by the way. let me explain.

I used to retreat to my room a lot as a kid and used to really hate my parents. most of my childhood was kind of numb, drugged from ritalin and imimpramine (anti-anxiety), but probably since I'm a strong IN personality type, ignoring what other people want of me or tell me has been pretty easy. its also why I was a pretty shitty husband and father for a long time.

anyway, I've pretty much NEVER had feelings of suicide, I definitely had feelings of murder. I think that's healthier. I liked playing GTA and learning about serial killers and stuff. I've always had fun and interesting hobbies. Do these things go together? YES!

I love myself. I am good at a whole bunch of different things. my parents neglected me, and in that sense I was partially unschooled. I knew who I was although part of that was affected by school. It wasn't until I overcame what I thought my final weakness was in college (majoring in my shittiest subject) that I really came together as an indomitable person. btw, it was a resident adviser in my dorm from whom I earned my real education.

In scenarios when people try to control or manipulate me, I shut them down with such speed and apathy that I am sure I come off as rude like hell to most people (trying to get something out of me). I typically talk inconsiderately because I'm just trying to say what I think it true and I don't give a damn about how it makes you feel for the most part. I've learned to be tactful, but my default state is just blunt force honesty.

So pretty much, nobody is going to walk over me, and nobody is going to make me feel like shit. moment to moment, shit happens, but big picture is that. My sense of who I am keeps me unconquerable.

I have heard that the kids who know that their parents love them no matter what are the hardest students to control. Well, support from your parents is just one form of strength with which to ground yourself, to help you feel certain about who you are. don't confuse the example for the exclusive cause; talents/hobbies, freedom, loving parents, or something else people might be missing.

It is not that you see the light at the end of the tunnel, its that you know YOU are going to make it. Why? Because you know you, and you know exactly how strong you are. These are the people school DOES NOT WANT TO PRODUCE.

A psyche experiment years ago tested whether trusting the authority in the room would lead people to kill another person. Quite a lot of people did.

I can say with all honesty that I would not, and I aim to raise kids who wont. People who at any given time a directive is issued, raise some skepticism and say, "why?" unless it just already makes perfect sense. and if the good reason doesn't follow the order say "fuck it, you do it then."

That video where they all stand up at the sound of a buzzer. I KNOW, that I would walk the fuck out of there or more likely start being rude to everyone who is doing it. I am a person who does what he wants. I have my standards. Fuck you, I am busy.

So, now that my wife "can see the light at the end of the tunnel" a rather surprising thing happened this weekend. When her parents were doing their usual say-dumb-shit routine they do, I was taken aback by several wide toothed smiling retorts coming from my wife directed at her parents while we were all hanging out.

W.. T.. F...?

Some really great lines to the effect of "your parenting sucked" and "stop trying to manipulate me". all of which were said with good blood pressure, composure, and humor.

Remember the recurring theme in my description of myself? You guessed it, "fuck off", haha!

She got her own thing going now. shut your mouth with that crap I don't want crap in my ears because I respect my ears because they are mine like that life you want to shit on too. I'm laughing at your dumbness because I am no longer knocked down, I am actually standing tall and I can see quite clearly your bullshit and its amusing. you stupid kid, whatever, go play with your toys, i'm gonna go do some adult stuff. You how I know what i'm doing is adult? because I'm doing it.

people who rely on their ability to manipulate you are not grown up, they are kids who haven't learned to stop crying when they're toys are taken away. btw, when we banned movies because my kids refused to pick up their legos, the legos just sat on the floor for more than a week and they didn't give two shits about not watching movies. They are doing their own thing and if i take one away, they got some more. My kids are probably capable of beating me at a battle of wits and they aren't even 4...

Funny how my kids seem to be better at coping and staying in high spirits better than many people 4-5 times their age...

I think for many of us stuck in shitty situations, the solution is to stop all the thinking and start doing. nobody can make you pay attention and if they punish you for not paying attention you can always ignore the punishment and just keep disobeying, not because you're rebelling, but because you know what you want to do with your time.

Most people here seem to already be doing a good job. We secretly do what we want when the teachers aren't paying attention. we might lie about doing homework when really were on School Survival.

They can't control your heart, but the heart has its needs too. THAT is why School Survival is one of the best public services to the internet.

School is bullshit. say it loud, proud, and often.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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05-22-2017 02:20 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #2
Inner Strength

Quote:but probably since I'm a strong IN personality type, ignoring what other people want of me or tell me has been pretty easy.

anyway, I've pretty much NEVER had feelings of suicide, I definitely had feelings of murder.

Yay, me too Biggrin

Instead of re-pasting stuff here, parts of this are going into my log of random realizations.


Quote:I have heard that the kids who know that their parents love them no matter what are the hardest students to control.

This does have a dark side sometimes too; there are parents who raise bullies, because they let their kids get away with near-everything out of "love". I've seen parents protest "My child would never....", while his/her victim was sitting right in front of them, with split lips and bleeding wounds. Luckily it never happened to me.


I'm glad for you and your wife.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
05-24-2017 02:13 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #3
RE: Inner Strength

You pretty much summed up my feelings on school.

School was probably the most damaging thing that ever happened to me, at least 6th grade on. It's at that point where the social conditioning really gets to shit.

I was conditioned to be a beta chode male. They re-enforced this with special education and social norms. My personality type clashed with what the school expected, so I was socially castrated. The feeling of isolation lead to depression, which lead me to self isolate, because I believed people hated me.

Which lead to even more disastrous habits. The analogist I had a similar experience where I numbed myself by masturbating and watching porn (not always together). I still vividly remember the first time I masturbated, and it wasn't exactly a moment where I was feeling happy.

Watching all that fucking porn fucked up my conditioning. I was already socially anxious but by watching so much porn and jerking off I basically conditioned myself to fear women, and never to talk to women/girls and that they are always above me. I felt an inferiority complex because I had enough issues talking with males, whom I perceived to have way too many dissimilar interests, but talking to a woman outside of my family would've given me a panic attack back then.

And guess what was the school's solution? More special education. More of the same; by this time I started to consciously realize what was going on and it literally was to degrade me and make me feel inferior. Especially that bitch of a speech teacher. Fucking bitch.

I even was "forced" to socialize which just made me fear social interactions even more. I inevitably ended up becoming a "nice guy" for a while because of my early conditioning of "being nice" lead me to play this fucking charade of being a "nice guy" that was just basically a doormat. At that point, I wasn't being a "nice guy" to increase my position, I was being a "nice guy" just to fucking get through hell.

Yeah, I'll say it with you. FUCK SCHOOL.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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05-24-2017 04:15 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Inner Strength

(05-24-2017 02:13 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  This does have a dark side sometimes too; there are parents who raise bullies, because they let their kids get away with near-everything out of "love". I've seen parents protest "My child would never....", while his/her victim was sitting right in front of them, with split lips and bleeding wounds. Luckily it never happened to me.

Extreme bias towards your kids can easily produce narcissism. My kids get extreme amounts of unconditional love, but they also get dismissive and sometimes forceful NOs and sometimes if they wont stop complaining they get a time out for complaining, frequently just the threat of a timeout gets them to stop whining.

One of the things kids need to learn is that other people have their needs, and sometimes those people are your parents. of course I try doing dishes after they go to bed now, but sometimes i just get too behind on various chores or I have to cook. They see this, they accept it even if they don't like it.

so long as limits are reasonable and consistent the world will more easily make sense to them and they will come to belong more effectively, hopefully to the level that outcasts are invited by them to various forms of dignity.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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05-24-2017 01:18 PM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #5
Inner Strength

Being a yes-person is actually a really bad thing. Good to see that you know this analogist.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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05-24-2017 02:36 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Inner Strength

I didn't actually mean that as a slight to you or your parenting skills.

Wtf is a 'chode' anyway? I found conflicting definitions on Google.
Also I kinda get why Hans expressed such anti-masturbation views earlier. I viee it as a mostly good thing, unless overdone. Yeowch.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
05-25-2017 08:07 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Inner Strength

I didnt take it as a criticism. we just be chillin' bro, sharin' our thoughts man

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
Follow me on Twitter!
05-25-2017 02:06 PM
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Inner Strength

YOU GO GURL WOO!!!!!
05-26-2017 03:55 AM
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