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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Random philosphical story I wrote.
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #1
Random philosphical story I wrote.

I dunno. I just wrote it in like fifteen minutes. I don't know if it's any good, I guess. Whatever...


----

John Sornas looked for things wrong in his life. He was a writer and wanted to be one ever since he was forced to conform in school, ever since he was abused by the system. His hatred for authority fueled his creative energy and he wrote. John knew that good art stems from misery: “Misery is not born from books. Books are born from misery”. And John cherished the fact that he was as depressed as the writers he loved, as the writers whose struggle he could feel through their work. But, a string of coincidences led to him being unschooled. He spend all of his free time reading and writing. On his eighteenth birthday John set off for New York City. Once he shacked up in a mediocre apartment in the roaring heart of the city, John found himself oddly empty, devoid of things to write about. He eventually wrote a pulpy western book where he tried to fit in themes of oppression, rebellion and freedom; the books was success and brought John fame, fortune, fans and happiness. He wrote another novel and it received great reviews and hit the bestseller charts, and it brought John more fans, fame and fortune, and happiness. Once, when John was sipping scotch in a bar, a friend approached him, and said “Loved your new book, Johnny boy. But I wish you would stop trying to include all these life-changing messages and all. I mean, they’re good and all if you’re writing a literary piece, but they’re just no good for the type you write.”

“You don’t think I’m a literary writer?” John asked.

“Man, you can’t be serious. You’re no Bradbury, or Orwell. You’re great at writing pulpy fiction but you won’t change the history of literature, dude.”

“I always wanted to go down in history, and I think I’d have killed myself if that wasn’t possible.”

“Well, everything’s possible,” said the friend, with a concerned grimace; “But you don’t always have to be a Fitzgerald. Not everybody’s born with a gift, Johnny, my boy. You’re great, but you won’t ever win a Pulitzer or Nobel, you’ll be out of print ten years after you're dead. If not sooner.”

“Well, I guess you're right,” John said, ordering another scotch.

Ten years later John was still alive and his books always hit the stores. But they were the type of books that gather dust on bookstore shelves until someone waiting for the new Stephen King or the new Penguins Classics buys them, not even knowing who wrote it. They’re airplane books, the type you read when you’re bored and have nothing to do. You always remember: “Oh, that books I read on the flight to Oregon, I loved. Wait, what was it’s name…” And you never can remember. The type of books John despised, he penned. And it depressed him: he never wanted a happy, uneventful life when you couldn’t write about anything truthfully, when you never had anything to say.

Somebody once said depression was like watching your life crumble away as you watched, powerless to do anything about it. That’s how John felt as he stood, drunk, on the bridge running out of New York City to a quieter region. John, never realizing he had the perfect thing to write about, took a plunge into the raging water fathoms below. Two hundred people attended the funeral, newspapers announced that a celebrated author had died, publishers used the publicity to peddle more copies, and, ten years after the fact, no one knew who John Sornas was.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-21-2017 09:01 AM
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 Thanks given by: Avatar Korra , The man
James Comey Away
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Post: #2
RE: Random philosphical story I wrote.

Yikes, sounds like psychological projection :/.

On the story itself: it's pretty interesting how death makes people much more greater than they really are. I guess part of it is our way of feeling bad, or just the idea that the author in question is not alive to produce their craft anymore.

Actually back in the 90s The Notorious BIG wasn't considered one of the greatest, but rather the potential to become great. He was romanticized after he died, same with 2Pac actually.

Many artists seem to share this same fate. Only after they die, is their greatness ever truly recognized. It's almost insulting.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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05-21-2017 09:07 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #3
Random philosphical story I wrote.

True. I listened to a bit of both. Definitely liked Biggie's "Juicy".

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-21-2017 09:25 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #4
Random philosphical story I wrote.

It helps when after their deaths hip hop decidedly went to shit.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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05-21-2017 10:52 AM
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Username Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Random philosphical story I wrote.

(05-21-2017 10:52 AM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  It helps when after their deaths hip hop decidedly went to shit.

>hip hop
>not rap

there's your problem right there
05-22-2017 12:20 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Random philosphical story I wrote.

(05-21-2017 09:01 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  I dunno. I just wrote it in like fifteen minutes. I don't know if it's any good, I guess. Whatever...


----

John Sornas looked for things wrong in his life. He was a writer and wanted to be one ever since he was forced to conform in school, ever since he was abused by the system. His hatred for authority fueled his creative energy and he wrote. John knew that good art stems from misery: “Misery is not born from books. Books are born from misery”. And John cherished the fact that he was as depressed as the writers he loved, as the writers whose struggle he could feel through their work. But, a string of coincidences led to him being unschooled. He spend all of his free time reading and writing. On his eighteenth birthday John set off for New York City. Once he shacked up in a mediocre apartment in the roaring heart of the city, John found himself oddly empty, devoid of things to write about. He eventually wrote a pulpy western book where he tried to fit in themes of oppression, rebellion and freedom; the books was success and brought John fame, fortune, fans and happiness. He wrote another novel and it received great reviews and hit the bestseller charts, and it brought John more fans, fame and fortune, and happiness. Once, when John was sipping scotch in a bar, a friend approached him, and said “Loved your new book, Johnny boy. But I wish you would stop trying to include all these life-changing messages and all. I mean, they’re good and all if you’re writing a literary piece, but they’re just no good for the type you write.”

“You don’t think I’m a literary writer?” John asked.

“Man, you can’t be serious. You’re no Bradbury, or Orwell. You’re great at writing pulpy fiction but you won’t change the history of literature, dude.”

“I always wanted to go down in history, and I think I’d have killed myself if that wasn’t possible.”

“Well, everything’s possible,” said the friend, with a concerned grimace; “But you don’t always have to be a Fitzgerald. Not everybody’s born with a gift, Johnny, my boy. You’re great, but you won’t ever win a Pulitzer or Nobel, you’ll be out of print ten years after you're dead. If not sooner.”

“Well, I guess you're right,” John said, ordering another scotch.

Ten years later John was still alive and his books always hit the stores. But they were the type of books that gather dust on bookstore shelves until someone waiting for the new Stephen King or the new Penguins Classics buys them, not even knowing who wrote it. They’re airplane books, the type you read when you’re bored and have nothing to do. You always remember: “Oh, that books I read on the flight to Oregon, I loved. Wait, what was it’s name…” And you never can remember. The type of books John despised, he penned. And it depressed him: he never wanted a happy, uneventful life when you couldn’t write about anything truthfully, when you never had anything to say.

Somebody once said depression was like watching your life crumble away as you watched, powerless to do anything about it. That’s how John felt as he stood, drunk, on the bridge running out of New York City to a quieter region. John, never realizing he had the perfect thing to write about, took a plunge into the raging water fathoms below. Two hundred people attended the funeral, newspapers announced that a celebrated author had died, publishers used the publicity to peddle more copies, and, ten years after the fact, no one knew who John Sornas was.
No one appreciated his books. Hopefully they weren't assigned as a reading project. Goingcrazy

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-22-2017 12:28 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #7
Random philosphical story I wrote.

Tell that to John Steinbeck.

Shame, because Of Mice and Men is fucking awesome.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-22-2017 02:15 PM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #8
Random philosphical story I wrote.

I thought John Steinbeck was a great author and I was excited to read him. Then, in school, we read The Pearl. Now I cannot bring myself to look at his name nor can I fairly judge any of his work without bias created by school.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-22-2017 09:04 PM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #9
Random philosphical story I wrote.

Why even have books required by school anyway? Why not choose our own, at our own pace?

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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05-23-2017 12:55 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #10
Random philosphical story I wrote.

because how would you know what you want if nobody told you, duh

(sarcasssm)

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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05-23-2017 01:10 PM
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Benjavaz Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Random philosphical story I wrote.

(05-23-2017 01:10 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  because how would you know what you want if nobody told you, duh

(sarcasssm)
Well you could choose a book that you hate. By the time you're done with that project, you will hate whatever book you chose.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-23-2017 01:18 PM
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James Comey Away
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Given 2292 thank(s) in 1517 post(s)
Post: #12
Random philosphical story I wrote.

Moral of the story, forced reading sucks.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-23-2017 02:22 PM
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