The horrors I underwent at school today.

[Depression101]

Before the site went down about a week ago I made a thread, but I think the restored version of the site was before that post, which was basically this thread here. So, what villainies were done to me today? Well, firstly it was French class, I died from fucking boredom. It was painful to just hear the teacher talk. Next, was history, we waited thirty minutes outside the class, waiting for the teacher who was out. Half the class was out for some fucking match and our history teacher told us we'll be watching but she forgot about us so we had to wait for another teacher to come and make us to questions. One fucking idiots said "Leonardo DiCaprio" instead of "DaVinci" and we all laughed until said teacher told us to shut up. Then the most boring fucking subject of all: CSPE(Civil, Social and Political "Education"). We were revising chapters on Human Rights. The page containing human rights was separate from the one containing children's right. So, out of boredom, I wrote on that page "Are children not humans?" And were it said "A right to education" I said "school does not equal education." And, at the bottom of the page, were the 25 rights are, I scribbled this: "26. Freedom?"

Then it was fucking maths. I didn't do my homework. And I had time to do it at break, but I said fuck. So the teacher gave me a notice, and fucking hovered over me half the class. Maths was hell. I planned on hiding in the fucking toilet and skipping class, but I think they call your parents and search the school if you skip class. Next, it English. English, in short, makes we want to be dead, it takes any joy in the day out for me. It made me not want to read or write; I used to love reading and writing, it used to be the world for me, now, thanks to school, it makes me disgusted.

Lastly, it was Science. We went to the computer room for science. There are two opposing rows of computers. When the teacher was checking on the one opposite me, I opened a new tab and went of School Survival. It was blocked. I was sad, but still bookmarked the search results. Then I wanted to see if the forums were blocked. Nope, just this site. So I browsed the forums when the teacher was far away and then bookmarked them on the computer. Then I deleted the links from the history and hoped someone would find the site and pass it on. But some teacher will probably find it, block the forums, and un-bookmark. It was a half-day so I was out after science. Today was one of the better days at school. Usually, they're a lot worse.

[James Comey]

I like how you're spreading the word of School Survival

[James Comey]

social conditioning is a very powerful thing

[Depression101]

And very dangerous. Mostly because it effects the most defensive, individual of us. I sometimes feel like I'm over-reacting and like school isn't such a big deal, because every one keeps saying so. And then I look at my wrists. But nope! There are hundreds of over-emotional teens who cut their wrists looking for attention. Well I never showed it to anybody, I try to convince myself, I'm just too afraid to do it, plus I'm trying to hit an artery. But nope, for some illogical reason, I convince myself that I'm not seriously suicidal and that my random laughing fits and hours of just cursing my English teacher while I walk around the house trying to read a page of a book are self-induced. I keep undermining my opinion that school is bullshit because everyone I know in real life doesn't have a problem with it. I'm an outsider to society, and it's trying to conform me. I'm not being punished because I did something wrong. I'm being punished because I'm an outsider. A stranger who they must "fix", as they call it; but brainwashing is what it really is.

Also, after I bookmarked it, I told my friend about the site, told him to make an account on forums, but when I did, he just laughed like this site is a big joke. He believed me, all right, but he thought this site is for shits and giggles. When I heard him laugh I felt sad and sick, and just wanted to bell to ring so I can get out of dogde.

[Depression101]

Reminds me of war propaganda regarding the Jews, orchestrated and published by Hitler and the Nazis.

[Depression101]

Oh God! And all of that propaganda was made by authoritarian, ruthless leaders who abuse their power. Sounds like every single government ever, and every single school ever. Some to a greater or to a lesser extent, but the facts don't change: they're still authoritarian, ruthless men who abuse power to the fullest.

[Depression101]

Because we were intelligent enough to do so, but we our own genius destroyed itself: notice how I used the past tense in the first clause.

[Depression101]

Here's something that perfectly describes the evolution of our world.


Watch on YouTube

Hidden stuff:

Favorite lines:

Propaganda is the only view you're allowed to publish
'Cause totalitarians are well aware
Knowing how to punish
Gunning down numbers countless
For doubtless nothing that they've done
But that won't stop subversive insurgents
From coming out courage
Using their power to fullest
Whether creativity or demonstrating general relativity [/

Hidden]

[Depression101]

But there are 'subversive insurgents', are there not?

[Depression101]

Yeah, in my school, I'm the only one who stands out.

[James Comey]

I still remember school leadership.

[Gwedin]

(05-18-2017 07:59 AM)Benjavaz Wrote:  Yes. That's why a peaceful anarchy would be an amazing thing.

til it becomes a violent anarchy of course

[Avatar Korra]

http://anarchism.pageabode.com/afaq/secAcon.html

[Gwedin]

why are you linking me this

[Avatar Korra]

To clear any of your misconceptions about anarchy.

[Gwedin]

then link me to specific parts of the wiki instead of dumping the whole thing on me.

specifically, debunk my idea that your anarchy won't eventually devolve into chaos

[Depression101]

Okay so a little update for today. I'm fucking sick of it, now more than ever. I just cannot bare to go anymore. Just fucking can't, just can't. Why does this shit have to be so hard, why do we accept all this shit, pain and misery of life and just go with it, for fucks sake -- it's goddamn painful.

Anyway, long story short, I get to my school and find that I have no locker. GREAT! But at least I have books for all classes save 4, and for two of them I can use any old copy book in place of the actual one for the subject. First of all is music. I'm fucking tired because it's the morning and I was forced awake and to school. I had to do my homework in class and the teacher caught me. Then we had to listen to music and fill in these bullshit sheets, then I had use a fucking geography copy to do music work in. I had a headache while this was happening. And it was hell, in general. Then, it was French, thank god half the class was out doing some stupid fucking Home Ec shit or else I would have gotten a note for not having my books in. Instead, we just watched a Simpsons episode in French.

Then it was break time after the double music and French. I just read my book, wanting to escape the shitty reality of this world. But the bell rang and it was time for science. The teacher was talking for forty minutes minutes about diseases, blood cells, blood types and shit. I listened for something interesting, but I remembered I'd forget by the time I walked out of the classroom so I just kicked back and looked at how badly I cut my wrists last night. I was feeling pretty lousy at that point, I felt like my problems were childish and stupid, but in a good way, in a depressing way. Then it was Sign Language. Thank God fucking Christ the teacher was out and we could read for forty minutes. After that was English. I wanted to fucking murder myself because I knew English would destroy the last of my spirit and motivation. But people went to the Home Ec thing again and only four of us was in the class. Maybe five. So, instead, the absolute cunt of an English teacher who fucking made me hate writing, reading and everything else, who destroyed everything I stand for, decided the whole class should just have a conversation. She talked about school. About what awaits us ahead, how she took a leaving cert exam at seventeen and shit. And as I sat there, in the corner, listening to the three of them talk(the English teacher and two more people), I felt really down. I realized I hated all of them. They talked like school was some minor annoyance. They fucking laughed like nothing was wrong, and it's just so hard to explain. Especially because I don't feel like it. I guess they're just disgustingly normal. I hated all of them. And I still hate all of them. Even the worst kid who always gets into trouble considered finishing school, not dropping out. I felt so lost then.

Then it was lunch and the worst classes save English: maths, Irish, and business. I did my maths homework just in time, at lunch, and felt lousy I didn't let myself get into trouble. Thankfully she was too busy giving us examples and discussing this shit with us to give us classwork(which happens once every three months), so we just homework. But it was still horrible sitting in there, still, taking someone's shit. When it came time for Irish, I was kind of happy I was going to get in trouble because I didn't have my books. I like getting into trouble, it's just hard to do: to rebel. I saw the Irish teacher today but apparently she skipped town because the maths teacher substituted. I was not happy to see that Nazi bitch again. And the fucking Irish teacher left us work to do. And we had to do it into our copies. I was about to say I didn't have my copies to the maths teacher but yellowed out, I was just too much of a pussy. And since I did the work into my English hardback, It's not actually worth a shit, and I'm not re-doing it.

Lastly, it was business. We were doing a budget which is easy as fuck, but takes about a month of inputting numbers into a calculator. We were using computers so I showed the guy on the computer next to me this site. He liked it, but he didn't give it much notice. That fucking made me sad. Then it was the end of the day, and I thought I was going to cry I was so happy. I silently cried during the day a bit, but these were the first tears of happiness.

By the way, whenever my mother asks me what's wrong with school, I never answer. I get stuck for words. I gave my reasons a couple of times but she dismissed them as childish? If she asks me, what should I say, so I don't get stumped for words.

[James Comey]

Jayzus Christ. You're dying because of school.

[Avatar Korra]

(05-19-2017 03:55 AM)Gwedin Wrote:  then link me to specific parts of the wiki instead of dumping the whole thing on me.

specifically, debunk my idea that your anarchy won't eventually devolve into chaos

How will an anarchist society defend itself against the power hungry?
http://anarchism.pageabode.com/afaq/secI5.html#seci511

Does anarchism require "perfect" people to work?
http://anarchism.pageabode.com/afaq/secA2.html#seca216

What about crime?
http://anarchism.pageabode.com/afaq/secI5.html#seci58

[Depression101]

I don't know what it's doing to me anymore. I just know I want out of it. Some people handle authority more than others but I've had enough for a life-time on earth and an eternity in hell. I have dreams, man, ambitions. And I'm always afraid they'll fail because I have no backup, and I don't want one. And now that school pretty much destroyed those ambitions I'm sick of it. It's hard to explain. Sometimes I feel like I'm being too extreme, but I just know I can't stand to wake and have to go to school. Maybe I'm too weak. What I want to do is flunk everything in that goddamn school. I was hoping to flunk the exams, but my mother booked flights for Poland on the week of exams, thinking school's already over. And the principal said that they'll just add my scored over the year up because I get good grades. Unfortunately I do. And people keep telling me I'm smart because of it. No, I'm weak because I can't get the courage to flunk them. I only have a week and a day of school left, but it's still more than I can handle, you gotta believe me.

Yeah, I think it's killing me. I hate the people there. I love my mother and grandmother because they're family. And I always will, with all my heart. But if they were strangers to me, I'd fucking hate and the mediocrity of their lives. I do respect my grandmother -- she lived through a depression, but I just fucking hate most people. Everyone at my school. Wherever I look there's some bastard that I don't even know, but hate. I don't believe life has a meaning, but I believe that living it like society tells you to is jeopardizing your freedom. But, alas, we don't seem to have much choice. Somethings holding me back from suicide. It used to be writing and reading but school took that away. Maybe it's my family but I'd be dissapointed if they didn't understand I'm better off dead. There's something though. And I'm not sure I like it. And talking about suicide seems so melodramatic to me, like I'm saying it for attention, but I'm not. Really I'm not. Whenever I think of something, day-dream of something that makes me hopeful and happy, I just go back to reality, sigh, and say to myself, as that Hemingway line goes: "Isn't it pretty to think so?"

[Depression101]

Jesus Christ. That's just fucking inhumane. I was watching this prison movie a while ago and I was shocked how much similarities there are between that and school.

One of the guards in the movie said: "You eat when we tell you to eat. You piss when we tell you to piss. And you shit when we tell you to shit." Sounds a lot like fucking school. They tell you when you can eat, piss, shit and drink. And where, too.

[James Comey]

(05-19-2017 06:46 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Jesus Christ. That's just fucking inhumane. I was watching this prison movie a while ago and I was shocked how much similarities there are between that and school.

One of the guards in the movie said: "You eat when we tell you to eat. You piss when we tell you to piss. And you shit when we tell you to shit." Sounds a lot like fucking school. They tell you when you can eat, piss, shit and drink. And where, too.

Both school and prison use short and long term social conditioning to their advantage.

[Depression101]

That movie was 'The Shawshank Redemption', the novella by Stephen King was even better. It's pretty accurate to real-life descriptions of prison and is one one the best movies/novellas that I have ever witnessed. It's about hope and persistence. And really does give you hope. Hope that one day things will get better, if you just keep trying, that eventually your suffering will end if you try hard enough. It's one of the things that gets me through school, just thinking of Andy's escape.

And social conditioning is a horrifying thing that effects me too much for my comfort. I really wanna just murder those sunsuvbitches in school.

[Depression101]

Watch the movie, man, it's really fucking awesome. One of the best movies I ever watched. It made school so much more bearable.

[Depression101]

It's not hard to stream movies. Not ethical, but not hard. Just type in The Shawshank Redemptiom Full Movie in google and go on fflims. Use adblocker if you have chrome and you should have no problems. And even without adblocker, I never got pop-ups. If your morals are partial to that, of course.

[Depression101]

Where did it get your real name from? The name you input to your computer? I know some sites can do that, access your files and get that info and all.

[Depression101]

I took a look at that forum, it looks like some nice shit. I'l probably make an account.

[Depression101]

Well, I registered and my name is fine. Glad to see brainiac is on the site.

[James Comey]

(05-19-2017 07:51 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  That movie was 'The Shawshank Redemption', the novella by Stephen King was even better. It's pretty accurate to real-life descriptions of prison and is one one the best movies/novellas that I have ever witnessed. It's about hope and persistence. And really does give you hope. Hope that one day things will get better, if you just keep trying, that eventually your suffering will end if you try hard enough. It's one of the things that gets me through school, just thinking of Andy's escape.

And social conditioning is a horrifying thing that effects me too much for my comfort. I really wanna just murder those sunsuvbitches in school.

Ever played Red Dead Redemption?

[Depression101]

I've seen it but haven't played it.