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The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser


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What are the Conditions of your School? (Part 2)
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Benjavaz Offline
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Post: #1
What are the Conditions of your School? (Part 2)

(05-14-2017 07:19 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  You have vents? Lucky.
Yeah, but they are never cleaned, so I wish that I didn't have them.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
(This post was last modified: 05-15-2017 10:20 AM by Benjavaz.)
05-14-2017 07:21 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #2
What are the Conditions of your School?

Well, we do have two or three; one in the hallways, the metalwork room and the woodwork room, I think. But any other room, if it gets too bad, we just have to open a window and hope nobody catches a cold. It's cold as fuck in my school, usually, even at the height of summer.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-14-2017 07:22 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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Post: #3
RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-14-2017 07:22 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Well, we do have two or three; one in the hallways, the metalwork room and the woodwork room, I think. But any other room, if it gets too bad, we just have to open a window and hope nobody catches a cold. It's cold as fuck in my school, usually, even at the height of summer.
Yeah it's freezing in my school too.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-14-2017 07:27 AM
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-14-2017 07:05 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  While my school looks good, superficially, the lights break down every month, the floor is dirty as fuck, and the rooms smell like shit. Honestly, it smells like someone took a shit in every room. Also, in my school, the roof is slanted and in half the classes the only windows are just these small squares in the ceiling that do fuck all in terms of light. But it has a nice little pond in the center of it. Problem is, the pond is surrounded by four walls, it's just there to look at. I don't know how the fuck you get down to it because there no doors. I think you have to get up on the roof and bring a ladder. They ran out off space... I guess.

Hah. What's funny is that for 9th grade I was actually on a separate freshman campus which looks much nicer than the main campus, and in fairness it is much better than the newer campus. However, when I got to the main campus, it literally smelled like piss and shit. I was told that the "secret was in the elevators" or something like that, whatever that meant. Poor plumbing or something? I don't know.

Also, I'll never forget the stench of the cafeteria. Oh my god it smelled horrible. I walked in there and nearly vomited. I stayed the hell away from it like the plague.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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05-14-2017 09:15 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-14-2017 09:15 AM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  
(05-14-2017 07:05 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  While my school looks good, superficially, the lights break down every month, the floor is dirty as fuck, and the rooms smell like shit. Honestly, it smells like someone took a shit in every room. Also, in my school, the roof is slanted and in half the classes the only windows are just these small squares in the ceiling that do fuck all in terms of light. But it has a nice little pond in the center of it. Problem is, the pond is surrounded by four walls, it's just there to look at. I don't know how the fuck you get down to it because there no doors. I think you have to get up on the roof and bring a ladder. They ran out off space... I guess.

Hah. What's funny is that for 9th grade I was actually on a separate freshman campus which looks much nicer than the main campus, and in fairness it is much better than the newer campus. However, when I got to the main campus, it literally smelled like piss and shit. I was told that the "secret was in the elevators" or something like that, whatever that meant. Poor plumbing or something? I don't know.

Also, I'll never forget the stench of the cafeteria. Oh my god it smelled horrible. I walked in there and nearly vomited. I stayed the hell away from it like the plague.
Yeah. It smells so bad that it gives me nightmares.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-14-2017 09:27 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #6
What are the Conditions of your School?

Hey, are you making any video games at the moment? Because I'm still re-working one paragraph of my story which I started yesterday. How's the project you and a friend where making and going to put on steam going?

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 02:47 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 02:47 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Hey, are you making any video games at the moment? Because I'm still re-working one paragraph of my story which I started yesterday. How's the project you and a friend where making and going to put on steam going?
Well I don't really want to go about developing the game without that friend. He isn't helping me, so I might just develop it on my own and research tutorials.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 02:52 AM
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What are the Conditions of your School?

Sorry to hear. I wish you luck with the game. Do you have any other friends interested in game design. Or any other aspect? As I hear it games need good writing, good artwork, good programming and lots of other technical aspects. Maybe you have a friend who's a good concept artist and would like to help with the game?

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 02:54 AM
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Post: #9
What are the Conditions of your School?

Wow this thread got way off topic lol

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-15-2017 02:57 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #10
What are the Conditions of your School?

Thinking too much about how horrible school is can work on you mentally. We don't want to overdo it.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 02:59 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 02:54 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Sorry to hear. I wish you luck with the game. Do you have any other friends interested in game design. Or any other aspect? As I hear it games need good writing, good artwork, good programming and lots of other technical aspects. Maybe you have a friend who's a good concept artist and would like to help with the game?
Well, I don't really have that many friends. I don't like having friends in school, and my other friends are across an ocean. Game development doesn't require advanced programming; just the basics, and I'm not the best at programming. See, my mother says that I should make friends at school, but I don't want to.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 03:01 AM
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Post: #12
What are the Conditions of your School?

Hey, man, I don't want to make friends either. I hate most of the people at my school. They're either stupid, blind to school's tyranny, complete assholes, or just robotic. I'm misanthropic in real life, even if I don't come of as so over the internet. Mostly because I like the people here. Everyone needs to interact with humans once in a while, whether or they like it, so I just do it here instead of real life.

I wish you luck with the game and send me a steam link when you finish it.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 03:04 AM
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James Comey Away
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 02:59 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Thinking too much about how horrible school is can work on you mentally. We don't want to overdo it.

Lol it's cool. Old School Survival was a lot like this actually.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-15-2017 03:04 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 03:04 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Hey, man, I don't want to make friends either. I hate most of the people at my school. They're either stupid, blind to school's tyranny, complete assholes, or just robotic. I'm misanthropic in real life, even if I don't come of as so over the internet. Mostly because I like the people here. Everyone needs to interact with humans once in a while, whether or they like it, so I just do it here instead of real life.

I wish you luck with the game and send me a steam link when you finish it.
Yeah. One other reason that I don't like having friends in school is that I get pulled into a really bad social group and end up miserable. I prefer writing to people over the internet. Check this game out. My video game is going to be kind of like that.http://store.steampowered.com/app/253330...ightmares/

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
(This post was last modified: 05-15-2017 03:17 AM by Benjavaz.)
05-15-2017 03:15 AM
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What are the Conditions of your School?

Holy shit! I love Neverending Nightmares. I played through the game thrice!

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 03:32 AM
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 03:32 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Holy shit! I love Neverending Nightmares. I played through the game thrice!
Yeah it's an amazing game. It's what inspired me to make the game that i'm making right now! Although it did keep me up because of the music. I can't tell what's scarier, psychic abilities or neverending nightmares.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 03:34 AM
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What are the Conditions of your School?

If you mean a game called "psychic abilities" I've never heard of it, and if you mean in real life, I don't believe in it.

If you mean a game called "psychic abilities" I've never heard of it, and if you mean in real life, I don't believe in it.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
(This post was last modified: 05-15-2017 03:37 AM by Depression101.)
05-15-2017 03:37 AM
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 03:37 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  If you mean a game called "psychic abilities" I've never heard of it, and if you mean in real life, I don't believe in it.

If you mean a game called "psychic abilities" I've never heard of it, and if you mean in real life, I don't believe in it.
No I meant like the thought of psychic abilities being real. I'm terrified of what could happen if someone (including myself) had psychic abilities. It would just be a scary world, you know?

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 03:42 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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What are the Conditions of your School?

Yeah, I'm always paranoid that people can read my thoughts. My own, private thoughts and my own private world are the only place I feel free and I don't think anyone should be allowed to know what someone else is thinking.


But since the conversation strayed pretty far from school, I was wondering could you read the first paragraph of the story I'm writing and say whether you think it's good. I'm using a new technique and want to know if it's any good. Because if it's not, it'd be a pain in the ass to take thirty minutes to edit each paragraph right after I complete it. So here it is:

It was 1936. It was after the Wright Brothers invented Aviation, but it was before 9/11, when you could still smoke on airplanes. I was a writer as famous as any movie star. I was compared to Fitzgerald and Hemingway, my books were adapted by the likes of Capra and Hitchcock. I was a millionaire appearing on every talk show in the country. One frosty December day, I was awaiting a flight to Germany, reading a paperback I got from the giftshop. The terminal was buzzing with activity, everyone watched the airliners landing and departing; the planes were still a novelty and new ones were being made every month. The book I was reading was lousy. I closed it and sprawled myself out across three seats, I was bored and thirsty. I wanted to go to the bar and have a drink, but I was afraid it would be swarming with people. When I appeared in public I was suave and charming, clad in a three-piece charcoal suit, cracking jokes and smiles; but in my private life, I was reserved and anxious. Crowds gave me a headache. I didn’t want to see anyone, and I definitely did not want a fan to buy me a drink. But the beguiled gasps of onlookers and the constant hum of engines made my head pound, so I rose and picked up my briefcase, and snuck over to the bar. I pinned myself against the wall and peeked in: the bar was mostly desolate, save a black-haired man hunched over the counter, drinking, and some pretty girl sliding a coin into the jukebox. It wasn’t optimal, but it was better than the terminal.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 03:46 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 03:46 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Yeah, I'm always paranoid that people can read my thoughts. My own, private thoughts and my own private world are the only place I feel free and I don't think anyone should be allowed to know what someone else is thinking.


But since the conversation strayed pretty far from school, I was wondering could you read the first paragraph of the story I'm writing and say whether you think it's good. I'm using a new technique and want to know if it's any good. Because if it's not, it'd be a pain in the ass to take thirty minutes to edit each paragraph right after I complete it. So here it is:

It was 1936. It was after the Wright Brothers invented Aviation, but it was before 9/11, when you could still smoke on airplanes. I was a writer as famous as any movie star. I was compared to Fitzgerald and Hemingway, my books were adapted by the likes of Capra and Hitchcock. I was a millionaire appearing on every talk show in the country. One frosty December day, I was awaiting a flight to Germany, reading a paperback I got from the giftshop. The terminal was buzzing with activity, everyone watched the airliners landing and departing; the planes were still a novelty and new ones were being made every month. The book I was reading was lousy. I closed it and sprawled myself out across three seats, I was bored and thirsty. I wanted to go to the bar and have a drink, but I was afraid it would be swarming with people. When I appeared in public I was suave and charming, clad in a three-piece charcoal suit, cracking jokes and smiles; but in my private life, I was reserved and anxious. Crowds gave me a headache. I didn’t want to see anyone, and I definitely did not want a fan to buy me a drink. But the beguiled gasps of onlookers and the constant hum of engines made my head pound, so I rose and picked up my briefcase, and snuck over to the bar. I pinned myself against the wall and peeked in: the bar was mostly desolate, save a black-haired man hunched over the counter, drinking, and some pretty girl sliding a coin into the jukebox. It wasn’t optimal, but it was better than the terminal.
Yeah I think that it's good. Why would you need to edit the paragraphs for half an hour anyway? What would need editing if it wasn't a good technique?

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 03:52 AM
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Post: #21
What are the Conditions of your School?

Oh, no, I meant the technique was editing as I go. I usually edit for a day or two after I finish writing, but I'm trying to finish a story by editing as I write. Anyway, sorry for the bother.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 04:01 AM
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RE: What are the Conditions of your School?

(05-15-2017 04:01 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Oh, no, I meant the technique was editing as I go. I usually edit for a day or two after I finish writing, but I'm trying to finish a story by editing as I write. Anyway, sorry for the bother.
I don't really think that it matters when you edit it, but if it's a day before school, then try to edit it before you post it, just in case school ruins writing for you again.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 04:07 AM
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Post: #23
What are the Conditions of your School?

I haven't even written half of it. Never mind editing it. This probably won't come out until next Saturday, if ever.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-15-2017 04:12 AM
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Post: #24
[split] What are the Conditions of your School?

The thread has been split.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

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05-15-2017 04:47 AM
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Benjavaz Offline
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Post: #25
[split] What are the Conditions of your School?

Why? How did that happen?

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-15-2017 05:18 AM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #26
[split] What are the Conditions of your School?

It went way too off topic from the original one. Just making a new thread for it is all.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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05-15-2017 06:27 AM
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