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I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

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Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

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How do you make school more bearable.
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #1
How do you make school more bearable.

This was probably asked before, but I need to know. When school ends the ecstasy and happiness that comes with freedom, dulls your memories of how horrible the school day actually was. And I cannot recall fully how fucking painful it was, but I know I just cannot spend a minute more like that without it fucking me up at least a little bit. And considering I have school seven hours a day, and some things just top how fucking bullshit school is, I just cannot survive another day without it fucking me some. And if I have to bear another month of this shit I'll have a breakdown. I really will. It's just getting worse with time, and teachers are extra sore at the end of year, with the exams and all.

And fear, fear is the worse of it: fear of being caught, thus creating fear of rebelling; and the only way to eliminate fear is to let it overpower you until you couldn't be bothered to give a fuck anymore. The only way to win against fear is make yourself be indifferent, to grew such a tolerance for fear that it doesn't affect you. And authoritarian brain-washing and conditioning really gets to you.

So how do you make a day more bearable. If only slightly. What I'm doing right now is writing stories during class, or reading a book under the table. But I'm so afraid of getting caught I do it rarely. Daydreaming helps, but not by much. And the teachers are complete cunts.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-04-2017 01:50 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #2
RE: How do you make school more bearable.

You can always practice inside your head, out loud, or on paper, free association. In essence, free association might help your mind "flow" a bit more cleanly, and it can also help with conversational skills.

Something simple like this can be practiced:
1. The lip balm I bought last week is orange.
2. Orange is one of my favorite fruits.
3. Fruits are an essential source of vitamins and minerals.
4. The modern day diet lacks a number of vitamins and minerals.

You can practice this daily as well.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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05-04-2017 02:57 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #3
How do you make school more bearable.

Thanks, I'll try if I don't kill myself by tomorrow. As dramatic as that sounds, I won't. I tied a noose and stuck a knife to my neck once, or twice, but I guess I'm not that depressed. Probably being dramatic, I'll be concerned when I start tying the other end of the noose or see blood at the tip of the knife; that is, if I start trying. I guess I just like the sound of suicide, eternal sleep and rest, in contrast with waking up and having to leave the warm comfort of your bed and going to fucking hell. Anyway, I'm not suicidal yet.

But, really, thanks for the advice, man. I really fucking despise the system. I'm sickened when most of the people... the sheep, the robots that parade around the hallways of the school know how bullshit, authoritarian and degrading the system is, but they're blinded by stupid superficial values or some other shit, because they just go along with it. Nothing more than a measly fucking sigh, they act like the temperature in the sauna is way too cold, not like they are fucking prisoners of a crooked system when they didn't even do shit wrong. And that cunt of an English teacher even pointed out that school destroys individualism and creativity. But she said it with a fucking smile, because when she says it school isn't as bad because teachers know, and if they know the student's are fucking powerless, right? That's the kind of mind-control common to that shit-hole. Someone get me the fuck out, please!

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-04-2017 03:08 AM
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Avatar Korra Offline
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Post: #4
How do you make school more bearable.

Let's see, I:

-Tried to find amusing ways to half ass writing assignments.
-Made a game out of doing the least work possible without the teachers noticing or getting too angry.
-Spaced out and sketched anime eyes, and people over all of my assignments.
-Used my bangs to cover my eyes so I could sleep without getting caught.
-Entertained myself tuning in to my classmates' discussions.
-Drew sexual pictures on assignments and erasing them before the teacher collects it. xD

At first I felt guilty when I didn't do work, because teachers always said it was "disrespectful" and that they work so hard to give you "an education". The thing is, I never asked to take these classes, and when you are forced against your will to do something, you shouldn't be expected to take it seriously.
Even though teachers don't see it this way, it sounds pretty manipulative to make someone listen to you, then work REALLY hard on how you present your material, and use that to shame someone when they don't want to listen.

I kept this in mind whenever I did subtle acts of rebellion.

Edit: The same applies when you have a choice to do something, but don't have a choice to stop doing it.

"I’M BEGGING YOU, PRINCE ZUKO! It’s time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big question: who are you and what do YOU want?"
" While it is always best to believe in one’s self, a little help from others can be a great blessing"
-Uncle Iroh(Avatar: the Last Airbender)
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2017 03:29 AM by Avatar Korra.)
05-04-2017 03:26 AM
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Avatar Korra Offline
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Post: #5
RE: How do you make school more bearable.

(05-04-2017 03:08 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Thanks, I'll try if I don't kill myself by tomorrow. As dramatic as that sounds, I won't. I tied a noose and stuck a knife to my neck once, or twice, but I guess I'm not that depressed. Probably being dramatic, I'll be concerned when I start tying the other end of the noose or see blood at the tip of the knife; that is, if I start trying. I guess I just like the sound of suicide, eternal sleep and rest, in contrast with waking up and having to leave the warm comfort of your bed and going to fucking hell. Anyway, I'm not suicidal yet.
Holy shit, that's kinda like how I used to feel. Whenever I had enough of the tyranny of school and it's supporters, I'd think about suicide. I never went a day without stating some variation of, "Can I just fucking die now?" or "Kill me." Even now, the thought of ever living past 18 sounds foreign, as if I'm supposed to die or kill myself before then. And that thought felt liberating. Though, I never seriously attempted it and didn't want to unless I created a massive note explaining my entire point of view on this system, which I was too lazy to do.

Quote: But, really, thanks for the advice, man. I really fucking despise the system. I'm sickened when most of the people... the sheep, the robots that parade around the hallways of the school know how bullshit, authoritarian and degrading the system is, but they're blinded by stupid superficial values or some other shit, because they just go along with it.Nothing more than a measly fucking sigh, they act like the temperature in the sauna is way too cold, not like they are fucking prisoners of a crooked system when they didn't even do shit wrong.

Yes! Some of my classmates even felt they were in the wrong for disliking school.


Quote: And that cunt of an English teacher even pointed out that school destroys individualism and creativity. But she said it with a fucking smile, because when she says it school isn't as bad because teachers know, and if they know the student's are fucking powerless, right?
She smiled?? Wtf. She knows how bad school is, but contributes to the hell as a teacher, thinking it's just good enough to know.
That reminds me of a time in world history. Someone mentioned that school is based of the Prussian system, and the teacher said, "Yes, it is. I'm glad you know that," then proceeds to act like there is nothing wrong with it. During another one of her classes, she implied at some point that the youth are not capable of making decisions and need adults to decide things for them. Noo

"I’M BEGGING YOU, PRINCE ZUKO! It’s time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big question: who are you and what do YOU want?"
" While it is always best to believe in one’s self, a little help from others can be a great blessing"
-Uncle Iroh(Avatar: the Last Airbender)
05-04-2017 03:56 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #6
How do you make school more bearable.

I actually drafted a short suicide note and left in my drawer for the night as I sat in the dark with a knife in my hand, just rocking on my, feeling tired, and thinking about shit that didn't hit me, if you know what I mean. I just threw the note out eventually, after tearing it into fifty pieces. I'm paranoid that way.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-04-2017 04:06 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #7
How do you make school more bearable.

What hit you was the motivation to keep living life. The fire never ended.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-04-2017 06:59 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #8
How do you make school more bearable.

There is no motivation, alas. I just slog my ass through the day. I don't even know if "slog" is a fucking word; and if it is, I'm not sure it makes a shred of motherfucking sense. I'm just pissed off because I have to waste my life in school tomorrow, and I'll stay up all night trying to prolong the inevitable and I'll be dozing in class and fall asleep before I get to eat my fucking dinner. I already have a planner for the misery that awaits me for fucks sake. And school deterred me from reading and writing unless I do it pass time in class. No energy or motivation at home to do so, and if I try force myself, I think of school and a lot of thing associated with it, and it hurts to try to read. No fucking motivation to do anything whatsoever, mate.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-04-2017 07:52 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #9
How do you make school more bearable.

Awww wow, school really killed everything from you :/.

I know the feeling of trying to slog though. Back then I literally just sat my ass and pretty much sweated my life through that fucking shit. Ugh I wish I could take those years back.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-04-2017 08:11 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: How do you make school more bearable.

Fuck, me too. I feel like I could be working towards something great, towards a fucking dream the size of a supernove, but if I can't hit a bunch of keys on my keyboard to write a few sentences because of school, I can kiss my dreams good-bye. I probably wouldnt be able to get a job as a janitor. I WON'T be able to get as little as a janitorial job.


By the way, the first line of your comment seemed kinda sarcastic. I don't know why.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2017 08:34 AM by Depression101.)
05-04-2017 08:17 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #11
How do you make school more bearable.

It wasn't, it was more of a statement, given that school seems to ruin everything... ugh.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-04-2017 10:24 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #12
How do you make school more bearable.

Yes, it did ruin everything for me. You know what I did since I got home? I watched random fucking videos on youtube, slept an hour or so, and looked at my stack of unread book, wanting to read again. Or write, for that matter. And when I reached out for those books, it was as I said earlier: I remember school and other shit, and I cringed away from them. And I just couldn't write if I wanted to. I sit around all day, cursing school, and being pissed off because I'm too lazy to do anything. Fuck authoritarian and totalitarian conditioning.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
05-05-2017 05:11 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #13
How do you make school more bearable.

At least you realize the conditioning. I didn't even realize I was conditioned to act in a certain way until I was 18.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
05-05-2017 06:11 AM
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