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Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #1
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Okay, I really need a place to vent and decided to do it here. If you decided to stick around and read this then just know that what I say is irrational and, probably, stupid, but it's what I really feel and is half of my problems with school.

I really enjoy writing, and I did for a while. I even managed to get five stories posted to Creepypasta wiki, which has some quality standards. But that's neither here or there. You might assume I get high marks in English, and you wouldn't be wrong; but if you assume I even remotely like the subject you're dead wrong. In fact, sometimes I don't feel like writing because of English class, and writing is one of the few things that gets me out of this shitty world -- it makes me feel like god. But I write because I love it, not because some bitch wants me to. Some bitch who's sore because she didn't make it as a writer, because no one teaches English if they could make money off of writing. Now it feels like writing is a strictly academic subject, I always feel like I'm writing to be graded, to be tested, to be evaluated, like I'm writing for someone I hate. Yeah, I said it's going to sound stupid. Completely fucking up my essays for schools made me feel a little better, but only a little.

What made me write this though is what happened last night. We were supposed to write poems about something that we have a strong opinion on and the best ones would be entered into a contest. I actually felt like writing this poem because I had a strong opinion on something: school. I spend an hour writing the poem, and it was pretty harsh; I compared school to mental asylum, I called the teachers fascist, wretched, etc. I said I'm gonna kill myself if I have to spend another day in school and ended it with a little reference to 1984. Mostly because I planned on getting in trouble and if it came to that, I knew I'd say fuck it and point out that by punishing me for writing the poem the school only proved my last point that there is no freedom of speech in school. It was a "come at me" type of deal. The whole was childish but I honestly just had enough. I'm usually quiet and stay out of trouble at school, even though I only do homework at lunchtime and never at home. But, anyway, I planned on getting into big trouble for the first time -- the poem was daring, and I even considered using swear words in it, but backed out. It wasn't anything serious, really, but Hitler killed people who went against his reign and so does school.

Anyway, our English teacher collected our shit and corrected it in class. I knew I was being childish and immature, but I couldn't help but feel fucking fantastic; my heart was beating, and I had to choke back laughter. I thought I was in deep shit, though since I was never in serious trouble because I was raised like a fucking puppy to fill someones ideal of a perfect person, a regular fucking church-boy, bordering on robotic obedience. Anyway, when she came to me she stopped and asked me if I read 1984; I said "yes", and she yapped on about how's she's doing it with some older fucking class or some bullshit. Then asked me to re-arange the stanzas and said she'll put it in the contest. Happy ending, right? Not in any fucking universe. The thing achieved the exact opposite of what I hoped for; sure, school isn't as censored as I though, but then again it doesn't make it any better nor did I expect anyone to really make a huge fuss of it, but still.

Now I'm pissed off; I feel like I have been cheated; I feel like I have been beat an opponent in some fucking game. It's irrational and hard to explain. Maybe it's because I suffer from paranoia. I mean, as I'm typing this shit and evaluating the chances, I feel like the bitch will read this. And if you know the whole story from real-life, there's no fucking hiding that it's me. The chances are slim but I'm still afraid. But I just needed to vent and fuck everything else. Anyway, I feel shitty now and can't read the aforementioned book. I haven't actually finished it, just started reading it recently and felt that it fit right into my message. Now, all I can think of is school when I touch it. I feel like that bitch knew my motivation for writing that thing and flipped it on it's head, like she's fucking torturing me mentally. I'm paranoid as fuck and don't know what to do.

Anyway, thanks for reading, peace,

--Depression.

If my irrational fears and paranoia prove to be true: then FUCK YOU!

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
04-27-2017 03:54 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #2
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Dude I felt pretty much this was through my high school. I hated the subjects because they were so damn fucking boring.

For me, drawing is something that I never really got around to, mainly because American schools fail hard when it comes to art. I've started drawing though and I find it fun and the best part is that I don't give a fuck and that I'm improving in this regard as well. I fucking love it, it's like a soul being rebuilt again.

You could start doing more anti-school writing. Hell, think of even publishing a manifesto if you want to go that far.

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04-27-2017 04:24 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #3
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

I actually drafted three chapters of a novel, where a mysterious counsler applies for a job at the school the protagonist goes to. The main character has a lot of problems and was sent to a lot of shrinks but none of them helped, except this one. The whole unfolds as a huge drama with themes of depression and suicide and anarchy, but I lost motivation.

And in my school, no one really shares the (at risk of sounding cliche) VISION that I have. Sure they all complain but none of them look out the windows at the rolling, emerald hills and pastures, the vast, beautiful vistas of freedom. My school stands atop a hill, and we have a wonderful view. But all it does is tease you with freedom. It's all fucked man. I don't know what to say anymore except "thanks for moderating a wonderful site like this. This place feels like a home to me. I definitely donate the money if I survive four more years and the site is still up." Fuck, man, I guess that's all I have to say now.
04-27-2017 04:35 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #4
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

What's funny is that you dream of being out in the "real world" but once you get there you have no idea how the fuck to navigate it. Looking back I wish I actually learned how to navigate the real world before I graduated. Fuck man, so much knowledge, things, and beautiful awesome things going out there for you to discover.

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04-27-2017 06:29 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Hey, hans, don't know if youe still checking this thread, but my cunting English teacher was actually quite pleased with my 1984 reference and actually encouraged me to title the poem 1984; so I did. Again, fuck my life. And now I can't help but cringe as I lift up my collectiom of Sherlock Holmes stories to uncover the 1984 book. I wamt to read, to finish it. I loved the first 100 pages before school stuck it's dick into it. I can't help but wonder how a novel about how bullshit censoring speech and how fucking worthless authoritarian regimes are is studied in the exact institutions which enforce what the novel is against. I can't fucking read it now. I know it's stupid and immature and ridiculous. Though I'd still appreciate yours/or someones thoughts.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
04-29-2017 08:57 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #6
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

To be honest this is sort of how I felt about school in general. I hated forced reading; better yet, I hated the fact that I never even had time to fucking read. Actually, reading is still pretty important in that it builds literacy as well as speaking skills. A shame I didn't read more back then.

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

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04-29-2017 10:25 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

at work, i find i sometimes worry... they KNOW!!!

Pick whatever unreasonable thing you did good or bad. SOMEHOW THEY KNOW!!!

overcoming conditioning is hard. knowing its there sort of helps, but gee, the shit authoritarians do to your mind. Jeez!

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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04-29-2017 02:03 PM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

True that, Analogist. I actually found Einstein stumbled upon a similar problem: "In [physics], however, I soon learned to scent out that which was able to lead to fundamentals and to turn aside from everything else, from the multitude of things which clutter up the mind and divert it from the essential. The hitch in this was, of course, the fact that one had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect [upon me] that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

Yep, one of the most celebrated physicists whose name is synonymous with genius, stayed away from pshysics because of school.

Source: http://learninfreedom.org/Nobel_hates_school.html

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
04-29-2017 07:50 PM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #9
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Reminds me of a quote by Henry Ford on education; he basically said that he was an educated man but that didn't mean he had to know everything.

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

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04-30-2017 03:23 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #10
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

And that reminds me of a quote by Benjamin Franklin, our beloved founding father(of your country, at least) and a man who believed in freedom. Anyway, here's the quote: "He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on."

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
04-30-2017 07:04 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #11
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

In modern terms, it's like saying a dude who learned pointless shit in school who has no hold of financial literacy.

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04-30-2017 07:32 AM
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Depression101 Offline
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Post: #12
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Financial what? Do you mean the literacy in Shakespeare's classics and how to find the square root of the Value Added Tax of a purple car. That's what they taught me in school, anyhow.

"Then it was straight to the 40 ouncers/ slapping teachers and jacking off in front of my counselors." As the World Turns - Eminem.

"A man is a success if gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between does whatever he does what he wants to do." - Bob Dylan.

"A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong." - Orson Welles.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die." - H.P. Lovecraft.

"I became insane, with long intervals of painful sanity." Edgar Allan Poe.
04-30-2017 07:35 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #13
Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

Yeah, that's not really going to help if you don't explain the practical uses in real life. I'm trying to become more financial literate but damn it's hard.

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

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04-30-2017 11:19 AM
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RE: Fuck my school and fuck the subject I'm best at.(venting)

(04-27-2017 03:54 AM)Depression101 Wrote:  Okay, I really need a place to vent and decided to do it here. If you decided to stick around and read this then just know that what I say is irrational and, probably, stupid, but it's what I really feel and is half of my problems with school.

I really enjoy writing, and I did for a while. I even managed to get five stories posted to Creepypasta wiki, which has some quality standards. But that's neither here or there. You might assume I get high marks in English, and you wouldn't be wrong; but if you assume I even remotely like the subject you're dead wrong. In fact, sometimes I don't feel like writing because of English class, and writing is one of the few things that gets me out of this shitty world -- it makes me feel like god. But I write because I love it, not because some bitch wants me to. Some bitch who's sore because she didn't make it as a writer, because no one teaches English if they could make money off of writing. Now it feels like writing is a strictly academic subject, I always feel like I'm writing to be graded, to be tested, to be evaluated, like I'm writing for someone I hate. Yeah, I said it's going to sound stupid. Completely fucking up my essays for schools made me feel a little better, but only a little.

What made me write this though is what happened last night. We were supposed to write poems about something that we have a strong opinion on and the best ones would be entered into a contest. I actually felt like writing this poem because I had a strong opinion on something: school. I spend an hour writing the poem, and it was pretty harsh; I compared school to mental asylum, I called the teachers fascist, wretched, etc. I said I'm gonna kill myself if I have to spend another day in school and ended it with a little reference to 1984. Mostly because I planned on getting in trouble and if it came to that, I knew I'd say fuck it and point out that by punishing me for writing the poem the school only proved my last point that there is no freedom of speech in school. It was a "come at me" type of deal. The whole was childish but I honestly just had enough. I'm usually quiet and stay out of trouble at school, even though I only do homework at lunchtime and never at home. But, anyway, I planned on getting into big trouble for the first time -- the poem was daring, and I even considered using swear words in it, but backed out. It wasn't anything serious, really, but Hitler killed people who went against his reign and so does school.

Anyway, our English teacher collected our shit and corrected it in class. I knew I was being childish and immature, but I couldn't help but feel fucking fantastic; my heart was beating, and I had to choke back laughter. I thought I was in deep shit, though since I was never in serious trouble because I was raised like a fucking puppy to fill someones ideal of a perfect person, a regular fucking church-boy, bordering on robotic obedience. Anyway, when she came to me she stopped and asked me if I read 1984; I said "yes", and she yapped on about how's she's doing it with some older fucking class or some bullshit. Then asked me to re-arange the stanzas and said she'll put it in the contest. Happy ending, right? Not in any fucking universe. The thing achieved the exact opposite of what I hoped for; sure, school isn't as censored as I though, but then again it doesn't make it any better nor did I expect anyone to really make a huge fuss of it, but still.

Now I'm pissed off; I feel like I have been cheated; I feel like I have been beat an opponent in some fucking game. It's irrational and hard to explain. Maybe it's because I suffer from paranoia. I mean, as I'm typing this shit and evaluating the chances, I feel like the bitch will read this. And if you know the whole story from real-life, there's no fucking hiding that it's me. The chances are slim but I'm still afraid. But I just needed to vent and fuck everything else. Anyway, I feel shitty now and can't read the aforementioned book. I haven't actually finished it, just started reading it recently and felt that it fit right into my message. Now, all I can think of is school when I touch it. I feel like that bitch knew my motivation for writing that thing and flipped it on it's head, like she's fucking torturing me mentally. I'm paranoid as fuck and don't know what to do.

Anyway, thanks for reading, peace,

--Depression.

If my irrational fears and paranoia prove to be true: then FUCK YOU!
I know from experience that school ruins reading and writing. I write about my horrible time at school. I also draw pictures of what I feel school actually looks like.

I HATE my school. I'd rather die than go to school for another 6 years.Fu
05-08-2017 04:35 AM
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