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August 2001 - June 2017
The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.
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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.
Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.
RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
(03-06-2014 04:52 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:
Quote:The majority of bullies have quite a lot of self esteem and friends. I see social outcasts poked at a lot more than anyone else. In most cases, they enjoy causing pain because they find it funny, and don't care/dislike for the other person, or even just jealousy. If others find it funny/cool, or to coerce someone into something, it's also about gaining social power.
That's not true self-esteem. If someone genuinely respected themselves, what could they possibly gain from dragging someone else down?
People do get pleasure from dragging others down. It's called sadism. They may even see the person worthy of dragging down on (aka they think they're doing something for their own good)...even though it's usually a trivial reason. Some people are simply not capable of empathising (aka sociopaths), so they don't think about being respected by others. And then there are those who just aren't self-conscious.
I may seem evil at times, though I just want to make a point. I like to create real discussion.
(This post was last modified: 03-06-2014 05:16 AM by TreyLina.)
RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
I did not say that since you have low self esteem that you don't deserve a relationship. You misunderstood me. I said true love must first begin with yourself. It's not selfishness though. People with low self esteem feel unloved and unworthy, but that's not true. As for relationships, it takes two to make one but if there is low self esteem, you may be setting yourself up. Love is more than a feeling, love is a spiritual state. Ego is the opposite of love, the part of you that leads you to pick on others, to hurt people, to hurt yourself. Ego and love don't belong together. If someone tells you they love you, is this true, their actions show it. You can't know what love is if you don't become love. I don't understand love completely, no one can, it's impossible, til you walk in it.
(This post was last modified: 03-06-2014 05:42 AM by Cianna200.)
Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
Quote:Love is more than a feeling, love is a spiritual state. Ego is the opposite of love, the part of you that leads you to pick on others, to hurt people, to hurt yourself. Ego and love don't belong together. If someone tells you they love you, is this true, their actions show it. You can't know what love is if you don't become love. I don't understand love completely, no one can, it's impossible, til you walk in it.
I agree with this completely.
Quote:People do get pleasure from dragging others down. It's called sadism. They may even see the person worthy of dragging down on (aka they think they're doing something for their own good)...even though it's usually a trivial reason. Some people are simply not capable of empathising (aka sociopaths), so they don't think about being respected by others. And then there are those who just aren't self-conscious.
True, but I'm 100% sure most bullies are not sociopaths. Maybe the 'leader' bully might be, and then their 'followers' are people with low self-esteem who just want to fit in with the leader, because this makes them feel like they're cool or whatever.
Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2 "Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide "The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein "I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder
Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2 "Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide "The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein "I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder
Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
I can definitely agree: the mob mentality in public schooling is terrible.
As for bullies? I am of the mind that most bullying is caused by strife/anguish inflicted on the bully, who due to lack of knowledge on how to handle it, vents on fellow students. And I think this really does apply to most of them; sometimes the underlying pain isn't readily apparent, sometimes they may have internalized it and might be on the way to sadism. Standing up against bullies is great if you can do it without getting injured (although you could sue for a hefty settlement or call the police if they're halfway competent in your area) and if you can stay out of trouble with the administration, but I feel someone with the chops and charisma could turn even that into a spectacle that calls attention to the fact that school itself often manifests bullying.
Getting away from it and finding others to cope with can also work, if you can pull off the first one. Attempting to parry bullying with kindness and respect...may or may not work IMHO; you'd probably be better off trying your damndest to ignore each and every last one of the fuckers. Remind yourself that you are better than them if that's what they choose to do, until they can see the error of their ways. If you're lucky and conventional wisdom holds out, you'll fare a bit better at least.
Ignorant students hurling 'autistic' around reminds me of the ignorant 4channers who do the same thing. While your average 4chan scumbag is more a factor of the site culture itself, the emotional damage public school can inflict is no doubt harming society as a whole, and I can see lost students becoming 4channers because they couldn't find another way out of what I'm going to christen the emotional maze.
EDIT: This thread is in the first page of Google results for 'rudeness is a sign of weakness, kindness is strength'. Go us!
DOUBLE EDIT: Thankfully I wasn't on the receiving end of much of this when I was in school.
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2014 05:05 AM by Trar.)
Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
I think a lot of bullying in school is often caused by a lack of empathy that is taught as well. Generally, people don't emphasize a lot with those that are bullied so much. All they know is that they must hate them.
RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
But some kids can "learn" to empathize with other kids, seemingly after midd school/high school. And of course some don't... I don't know, I just don't really know where that behavior comes from an how it leaves
Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
Quote:I think a lot of bullying in school is often caused by a lack of empathy that is taught as well. Generally, people don't emphasize a lot with those that are bullied so much. All they know is that they must hate them.
yes, it's about staying within the group.
"I never said half the shit people say i did." -Albert Einstein
"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail, there is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers. That is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark."-Stephen Hawking
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
(03-04-2014 12:33 PM)KFC Nyan Cat Wrote: Because mental conditions are funny to some people. Hurts because I hear people call others autistic all the time, and I have aspergers.
Hidden stuff:
"CONSENSUAL incest is not wrong. (Abuse victims: being abused by a relative does not make it wrong for others to have consensual incest, any more than rape by a stranger makes all sex wrong. Sex and assault/molestation are two different things.) An aversion became common in humans that aided in population growth as one disease couldn't wipe out the human race. That's not a problem anymore.
Consensual incest is very common. You know people who have been involved, whether you know it or not.
There is no rational reason for keeping laws or taboos against consensual
incest that is consistently applied to other relationships. Personal disgust or religion is only a reason why one person would not want to personally engage in what I call consanguinamory, not why someone else shouldn't do it. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY consenting adults. Youthful experimentation between close relatives close in age is not uncommon, and there are more people than you'd think out there who are in lifelong healthy, happy relationships with a close relative. It isn't for everyone, but we're not all going to want to have each others' love lives, now are we? If someone thinks YOUR love life is disgusting, should you be thrown in prison?
Some people try to justify their prejudice against consanguineous sex and
marriage by being part-time eugenicists and saying that such relationships inevitably lead to “mutant” or “deformed” babies. This argument can be refuted on several fronts. 1. Some consanguineous relationships involve only people of the same gender. 2. Not all mixed-gender relationships birth biological children. 3. Most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems; while births to other parents do sometimes have birth defects. 4. We don’t prevent other people from marrying or deny them their reproductive rights based on increased odds of passing along a genetic problem or inherited disease. It is true that in general, children born to consanguineous parents have an increased chance of these problems than those born to nonconsanguineous parents, but the odds are still minimal. Unless someone is willing to deny reproductive rights and medical privacy to others and force everyone to take genetic tests and bar carriers and the congenitally disabled and women over 35 from having children, then equal protection principles prevent this from being a justification to bar this freedom of association and freedom to marry.
Some say "Your sibling should not be your lover." That is not a reason. It begs the question. Many people have many relationships that have more than one aspect. Some women say their sister is their best friend. Why can’t their sister be a wife, too?
Some say “There is a power differential.” This applies least of all to siblings or cousins who are close in age, but even where the power differential exists, it is not a justification for denying this freedom to sex or to marry. There is a power differential in just about any relationship, sometimes an enormous power differential. To question if consent is truly possible in these cases is insulting and demeaning.
Some say “There are so many people outside of your family." There are plenty of people within one’s own race, too, but that is no reason to ban interracial marriage. So, this isn't a good reason either. Let consenting adults love each other the way they want!"-Keith Pullman
Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
Quote:And all i have is ADD and ADHD :( why are people so cruel?
I find it ironic for them to call you retarded if they don't know the difference between retardation and ADHD. They're not the same thing.
Quote:Because mental conditions are funny to some people. Hurts because I hear people call others autistic all the time, and I have aspergers.
It just goes to show how messed up people are. I have Asperger's too though.
Quote:Exactly. And my school district dosent handle bullying well. In 7th grade this kid kept bullying me repidityly. I kept reporting him but the school did JACK SHIT
And they want us to believe school's good for us somehow...
Quote:they could have called me that because i actually have a job (read my signature) and make money. I'm a nerd. Maybe thats a sign of being retarded in todays society.
If that's what being a nerd is, then maybe nerd's not much of an insult after all.
Quote:Calling you retarded because of a job and money?' That's jealousy right there
Dang that's right.
UnicornLionWolf
(This post was last modified: 01-21-2017 05:14 AM by UnicornLionWolf.)
01-21-2017 05:13 AM
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RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
(03-04-2014 12:15 PM)rockstarjim22 Wrote: I've been made fun of in school in the past and it didnt affect me at all, but this did. Some kid called me retarded out of nowhere (this was in the locker room) and everyone in the area laughed :(
Am i really retarded, or no?
No you're not. I'm getting made fun of at school as well. For example, there is a boy in my class who keeps calling me a bitch. Like he did today in RS (Religious Studies). I just wanted to punch him. The teacher even sent me outside and didn't tell off the boy. No one laughed though.
RE: Some kid called me retarded today and everyone laughed
(03-04-2014 12:33 PM)KFC Nyan Cat Wrote: Because mental conditions are funny to some people. Hurts because I hear people call others autistic all the time, and I have aspergers.
I have been at a school for autistic people (I have that label too) and everybody called each other a "stupid autist" as a joke all the time. So...
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