High School, Hypocrisy, Personal

[textname30]

...hehe...I like the little Lego icon...
Also, is it alright if I slip in a little Halloween question at the end of this? And, for future reference, should I make more specific threads?

You know, I think school is having me become accustomed to asking if I can do the simplest of things. I mean, performing basic bodily functions can somehow be interpreted as disrespectful, like sneezing or coughing at the wrong time, because everyone is clearly a disrespectful little shit right? And by disrespectful, faculty mean being a kid. Ya know, like laughing with and/or at each other with good heartedly. How dare we try to make the best of the place. Shieet.

I want to write so much about the hypocrisy going on, but I'll try and shorten it to avoid text walls. I'll try. Too bad I know all of this and I have to keep going back.
Oh, and I also want to ask some high school questions

Ok, so you kind of know about how I feel about school. Have you ever heard this? :
" Sorry, we don't make the rules, we just follow them. " If I am not mistaken, isn't that the same logic used by Nazis to cover their asses? They were just following orders? But they weren't necessarily forced to, at least modern day teachers for the most part, and they get paid for their "work". On top of that, they act like they know the rules are nonsense, but they still openly make sure to defend them otherwise, acting as if public ed is the only way, as if college is the only way, as if the standard model of living is the only way to live your life. Well, if they believed in that, look where it got them . Now they act as if their life is so hard, while they are so bored and insecure that they pick students and myself for those and other personal reasons that I may disclose in another thread when I'm ready to. Now, with the constant bullying from all sides, I cannot find solace anywhere, except here, where nobody is censored and told to grow up by people who themselves are grasping at the image of being an "adult", telling others they are immature while, if you went on Google images and searched for the term "immature", you would find their ugly, disfigured faces popping out at you, ready to nag your soul into hell.

Ok, I kinda made myself laugh at that last part, but the meaning behind it has given me a sadness that makes me feel like I can't escape, at least not for years.

I am not afraid to admit that I am strong when it comes to emotional stuff, considering the details of my life, some of which I might disclose at another time, and the fact that I am ready to move on from really fucked - up things as long as I can find solace in someone, and disregard them as the past so easily. Some pretend that that stuff is all over for me, and that I am the one with the problem, because the problem is gone now, at least in their line of delusion. But it is not, and it might be worse now, I dunno, but nobody helps. It inconveniences them so. Even those who pretend to care only still manage to use me for their own emotional support - to make themselves feel better, and think that they are a nice human being, but the minute something happens that disrupts that, they turn their backs and keep the fantasy in their heads. Actually, their backs were always turned to me, and they kept only what they wanted of me in front of them. And school is the place that somehow still gives me that feeling that I am familiar with my whole life - the feeling that I can't escape, because no one will believe or help me defend myself, because someone is covering for someone else for their own little malicious self-serving interests, which is reasonable for me to feel, according to my circumstances as a whole as well.

I'm going off topic, so I'll change the thread subject a little. Hopefully this still falls under School Talk. If it does not, let me know.

Anyways, I always knew there were cruel people, and I'm always honest with myself about who they are around me, and I end up finding that everywhere I turn, they are everyone there. Someone will pick me out of a crowd and betray me, and they don't even know me.

I have always wanted to post here specifically about my problems, but I always end up too exhausted to. I always end up thinking someone will rat on me somehow, or communicate to me that I am not worth their time either, and that I must be lying to them, blowing things out of proportion, because what I say can't be true, because nobody can take it without hurting someone else or themselves. But I haven't, and if I have, I would be honest with myself. I would never let that happen. I can't hurt an innocent person because I know they don't deserve to hurt because I know what it's like too, and I don't want others to feel more pain than what they are already going through, and I remember the times others have hurt me because they were hurting too, and they took it out on me, and I know I didn't deserve it. How can an " adult " of all people, who supposedly knows more years of pain than the average " child ", deliberately hurt another in such a way, especially a child, knowing they could stop?
Knowing the other is not at fault? People assume I must be damaged in some way, and that I am used to hurt, and that somehow makes them feel better. I'm sorry it's not as farfetched as it should be. Some people assume they can do whatever they want too because, if I'm strong, I must not have had too much of a rough time, or I can handle being used a little more.

As a little note about my current school, I'll list another two examples of hypocrisy. I could make a longer list, but it may be for another day . One example was like a year or two ago, when I sat down for the Pledge. Again, tons of reasons for this, including the sort of cultish theme that goes along with it. Maybe I should stand on Halloween to fit the scary vibe , and ya , Halloween just had to be on a Monday. No matter the reason, I had the right to, regardless. So this English Language Arts teacher tells me I must stand ( on the first day of school ). I say yes because I would prefer to brush her off for now, and the next day I do the same thing, and the cycle repeats. The third day, she goes off on me after I greeted her on my way out of her Homeroom, being the kindly person I am to even the most uneducated educators, saying stuff like she know kids have been personally affected or something and don't want to say the pledge, and I have a sort of mini - debate with her, ending in her saying she can't force me to and my dismissal. One argument she made was that it is out of respect for the soldiers. Oh rlly? Her actions are disrespectful, as she is acting like some kind of prison warden to a kid exercising the right the soldiers supposedly fought for. She has also made it public that she is some kind of super liberal, saying Fox News is full of shit in different wording, yet utlilizing the same arguments and strawmen as them ! It is true that these sort of extreme supposed opposites have more in common than they thought, huh. A special ed teacher also slipped in not only the fact that he tried to get a sitter in trouble, but he quoted some bull extreme feminist, biased wage gap stat from CNN. I politely corrected him after class, brushing me off and insulting me with a condescending sweetie and later lying about telling the classes he lied to ( one kid later quoted him as if it were true without checking first ) the truth, and that he can be wrong, and that you can't trust just any news article. Another thing I've noticed is that Special Ed teachers are pretty crazy themselves. Some of the kids in Special Ed are the sweetest little honey pots, while others are straight up manipulative and narcissistic as hell, but I know that it's pretty easy to get yourself into Special Ed, which I may be getting into, but that's a threat as far as I know, and that is for another thread, maybe shorter than this one. . I don't know if I should say this, but my school quotes Mark Twain in the mornings, and , as many of you know, he is known 'round these parts for his school - related quotes. Pretty ironic if you ask me. Another incident involves my current ELA teacher, who is the teacher that has chosen me to be her specific punching bag. She chastised me for utilizing " learning and comprehension skills " encouraged in another class for across the board use. It involves writing ideas down to share with a classwork group. She didn't let me explain, or really read my notes, choosing instead to say I wasn't talking to my group enough, and asking what I was writing in an accusing tone, as if she was busting me red-handed for, like , kidnapping someone or something . Ok, this is a little too long. Let me know if you would advise me to remove some info here to make me a little more private, or whatever. I should probably edit this more, but I am again exhausted and questioning whether or not I should even post this.

It's getting pretty late, and I have to go back to jail, so I'll transition into High School and the Halloween question. I'm sorry it got a little dark back there, but I guess it fits into the Halloween mood. My tears certainly agreed.

This is the part that I kinda enjoy a little more. Or not. You'll be able to tell. Kashira ( maybe / perhaps ) . So first of all, fuck you school . School, grab yourself one of those cheap, disgusting hamburgers and take a couple seats . Anyways, I want to know of you guys' opinions on the type of high school you would choose. I get first pickings on these because I got to a more exclusive school 'cause of mah grades, so you don't have to take into account any lack of seats or anything.

So, would you rather pick a school that is strict and sexist, with admins known in the news for asking girls whose shorts are "too short" how they will find husbands and principals as stubborn as acne about such silly rules such as having to have finger - tip length shorts, in a city with pretty sights from the school building and above average indoor design, it's main issue being students overworked like sweatshop workers getting a couple hours at most of sleep, trying to copy the Asian country style of school, it's perks essentially being programs you might not even have time for with tons of homework and shit, and a relatively safer environment, as well as slightly more decent alumni and bragging points, it's only requirement being a single SHSAT test, or a school in a poorer area with more freedoms but a depressing interior and exterior, crowding issues, a creepy extracurricular literal office simulation, filled with the bored suicidal brainwashed employees and a boss but with students and a teacher instead, and it's requirements including grades, attendance, etc.? Just curious. Just a little. Really.

Halloween Question : Are you going to school on Halloween? If you are, are you gonna play any spoopy pranks or something ? And if you aren't, is the deal as good as it sounds, and what will you be doing?

To be honest, I feel a little exposed posting this, despite my ID being pretty secret, but I just wanna see how you guys feel about stuff, ya know? Don't knock it 'till you try it may or may not apply here, but I'll follow it anyways. I feel safer having read some of you guys' other responses to things, and I see that you guys aren't like other sites where people are super judgmental and close - minded . I know this is an emotional intro to SS, but I hope you guys are happy with it. If not, tell me what I can improve on, besides the obvious long - ass paragraphs. Don't be shy! Ok, well you guys aren't shy, but you know. I like that. Also, I'm tired as hell, so I may or may not wait a little 'till I'm totally sure I really want this to be my SS intro. Whatever, I'll idgaf yolo it .

[SoulRiser]

Welcome to SS!

You sound like a pretty deep thinker kind of person.

I think a lot of the time when teachers/people are cranky and trying to get kids to follow rules they themselves think are stupid, it's because someone with more authority than them told them to "control those kids" or somesuch. Or some other kind of peer pressure. Or they're just tired and don't have the energy to do better.

[Sadly_Not]

To answer your Halloween question, yes I will be going to school.. Maybe I'll spread some spooky cheer by handing out candy or something. Oh and welcome to the forms!

[UnicornLionWolf]

(10-28-2016 04:41 PM)textname30 Wrote:  ...hehe...I like the little Lego icon...
Also, is it alright if I slip in a little Halloween question at the end of this? And, for future reference, should I make more specific threads?

You know, I think school is having me become accustomed to asking if I can do the simplest of things. I mean, performing basic bodily functions can somehow be interpreted as disrespectful, like sneezing or coughing at the wrong time, because everyone is clearly a disrespectful little shit right? And by disrespectful, faculty mean being a kid. Ya know, like laughing with and/or at each other with good heartedly. How dare we try to make the best of the place. Shieet.

I want to write so much about the hypocrisy going on, but I'll try and shorten it to avoid text walls. I'll try. Too bad I know all of this and I have to keep going back.
Oh, and I also want to ask some high school questions

Ok, so you kind of know about how I feel about school. Have you ever heard this? :
" Sorry, we don't make the rules, we just follow them. " If I am not mistaken, isn't that the same logic used by Nazis to cover their asses? They were just following orders? But they weren't necessarily forced to, at least modern day teachers for the most part, and they get paid for their "work". On top of that, they act like they know the rules are nonsense, but they still openly make sure to defend them otherwise, acting as if public ed is the only way, as if college is the only way, as if the standard model of living is the only way to live your life. Well, if they believed in that, look where it got them . Now they act as if their life is so hard, while they are so bored and insecure that they pick students and myself for those and other personal reasons that I may disclose in another thread when I'm ready to. Now, with the constant bullying from all sides, I cannot find solace anywhere, except here, where nobody is censored and told to grow up by people who themselves are grasping at the image of being an "adult", telling others they are immature while, if you went on Google images and searched for the term "immature", you would find their ugly, disfigured faces popping out at you, ready to nag your soul into hell.

Ok, I kinda made myself laugh at that last part, but the meaning behind it has given me a sadness that makes me feel like I can't escape, at least not for years.

I am not afraid to admit that I am strong when it comes to emotional stuff, considering the details of my life, some of which I might disclose at another time, and the fact that I am ready to move on from really fucked - up things as long as I can find solace in someone, and disregard them as the past so easily. Some pretend that that stuff is all over for me, and that I am the one with the problem, because the problem is gone now, at least in their line of delusion. But it is not, and it might be worse now, I dunno, but nobody helps. It inconveniences them so. Even those who pretend to care only still manage to use me for their own emotional support - to make themselves feel better, and think that they are a nice human being, but the minute something happens that disrupts that, they turn their backs and keep the fantasy in their heads. Actually, their backs were always turned to me, and they kept only what they wanted of me in front of them. And school is the place that somehow still gives me that feeling that I am familiar with my whole life - the feeling that I can't escape, because no one will believe or help me defend myself, because someone is covering for someone else for their own little malicious self-serving interests, which is reasonable for me to feel, according to my circumstances as a whole as well.

I'm going off topic, so I'll change the thread subject a little. Hopefully this still falls under School Talk. If it does not, let me know.

Anyways, I always knew there were cruel people, and I'm always honest with myself about who they are around me, and I end up finding that everywhere I turn, they are everyone there. Someone will pick me out of a crowd and betray me, and they don't even know me.

I have always wanted to post here specifically about my problems, but I always end up too exhausted to. I always end up thinking someone will rat on me somehow, or communicate to me that I am not worth their time either, and that I must be lying to them, blowing things out of proportion, because what I say can't be true, because nobody can take it without hurting someone else or themselves. But I haven't, and if I have, I would be honest with myself. I would never let that happen. I can't hurt an innocent person because I know they don't deserve to hurt because I know what it's like too, and I don't want others to feel more pain than what they are already going through, and I remember the times others have hurt me because they were hurting too, and they took it out on me, and I know I didn't deserve it. How can an " adult " of all people, who supposedly knows more years of pain than the average " child ", deliberately hurt another in such a way, especially a child, knowing they could stop?
Knowing the other is not at fault? People assume I must be damaged in some way, and that I am used to hurt, and that somehow makes them feel better. I'm sorry it's not as farfetched as it should be. Some people assume they can do whatever they want too because, if I'm strong, I must not have had too much of a rough time, or I can handle being used a little more.

As a little note about my current school, I'll list another two examples of hypocrisy. I could make a longer list, but it may be for another day . One example was like a year or two ago, when I sat down for the Pledge. Again, tons of reasons for this, including the sort of cultish theme that goes along with it. Maybe I should stand on Halloween to fit the scary vibe , and ya , Halloween just had to be on a Monday. No matter the reason, I had the right to, regardless. So this English Language Arts teacher tells me I must stand ( on the first day of school ). I say yes because I would prefer to brush her off for now, and the next day I do the same thing, and the cycle repeats. The third day, she goes off on me after I greeted her on my way out of her Homeroom, being the kindly person I am to even the most uneducated educators, saying stuff like she know kids have been personally affected or something and don't want to say the pledge, and I have a sort of mini - debate with her, ending in her saying she can't force me to and my dismissal. One argument she made was that it is out of respect for the soldiers. Oh rlly? Her actions are disrespectful, as she is acting like some kind of prison warden to a kid exercising the right the soldiers supposedly fought for. She has also made it public that she is some kind of super liberal, saying Fox News is full of shit in different wording, yet utlilizing the same arguments and strawmen as them ! It is true that these sort of extreme supposed opposites have more in common than they thought, huh. A special ed teacher also slipped in not only the fact that he tried to get a sitter in trouble, but he quoted some bull extreme feminist, biased wage gap stat from CNN. I politely corrected him after class, brushing me off and insulting me with a condescending sweetie and later lying about telling the classes he lied to ( one kid later quoted him as if it were true without checking first ) the truth, and that he can be wrong, and that you can't trust just any news article. Another thing I've noticed is that Special Ed teachers are pretty crazy themselves. Some of the kids in Special Ed are the sweetest little honey pots, while others are straight up manipulative and narcissistic as hell, but I know that it's pretty easy to get yourself into Special Ed, which I may be getting into, but that's a threat as far as I know, and that is for another thread, maybe shorter than this one. . I don't know if I should say this, but my school quotes Mark Twain in the mornings, and , as many of you know, he is known 'round these parts for his school - related quotes. Pretty ironic if you ask me. Another incident involves my current ELA teacher, who is the teacher that has chosen me to be her specific punching bag. She chastised me for utilizing " learning and comprehension skills " encouraged in another class for across the board use. It involves writing ideas down to share with a classwork group. She didn't let me explain, or really read my notes, choosing instead to say I wasn't talking to my group enough, and asking what I was writing in an accusing tone, as if she was busting me red-handed for, like , kidnapping someone or something . Ok, this is a little too long. Let me know if you would advise me to remove some info here to make me a little more private, or whatever. I should probably edit this more, but I am again exhausted and questioning whether or not I should even post this.

It's getting pretty late, and I have to go back to jail, so I'll transition into High School and the Halloween question. I'm sorry it got a little dark back there, but I guess it fits into the Halloween mood. My tears certainly agreed.

This is the part that I kinda enjoy a little more. Or not. You'll be able to tell. Kashira ( maybe / perhaps ) . So first of all, fuck you school . School, grab yourself one of those cheap, disgusting hamburgers and take a couple seats . Anyways, I want to know of you guys' opinions on the type of high school you would choose. I get first pickings on these because I got to a more exclusive school 'cause of mah grades, so you don't have to take into account any lack of seats or anything.

So, would you rather pick a school that is strict and sexist, with admins known in the news for asking girls whose shorts are "too short" how they will find husbands and principals as stubborn as acne about such silly rules such as having to have finger - tip length shorts, in a city with pretty sights from the school building and above average indoor design, it's main issue being students overworked like sweatshop workers getting a couple hours at most of sleep, trying to copy the Asian country style of school, it's perks essentially being programs you might not even have time for with tons of homework and shit, and a relatively safer environment, as well as slightly more decent alumni and bragging points, it's only requirement being a single SHSAT test, or a school in a poorer area with more freedoms but a depressing interior and exterior, crowding issues, a creepy extracurricular literal office simulation, filled with the bored suicidal brainwashed employees and a boss but with students and a teacher instead, and it's requirements including grades, attendance, etc.? Just curious. Just a little. Really.

Halloween Question : Are you going to school on Halloween? If you are, are you gonna play any spoopy pranks or something ? And if you aren't, is the deal as good as it sounds, and what will you be doing?

To be honest, I feel a little exposed posting this, despite my ID being pretty secret, but I just wanna see how you guys feel about stuff, ya know? Don't knock it 'till you try it may or may not apply here, but I'll follow it anyways. I feel safer having read some of you guys' other responses to things, and I see that you guys aren't like other sites where people are super judgmental and close - minded . I know this is an emotional intro to SS, but I hope you guys are happy with it. If not, tell me what I can improve on, besides the obvious long - ass paragraphs. Don't be shy! Ok, well you guys aren't shy, but you know. I like that. Also, I'm tired as hell, so I may or may not wait a little 'till I'm totally sure I really want this to be my SS intro. Whatever, I'll idgaf yolo it .

Dang. I don't have all the answers you're looking for. I'm not really sure what you should do in terms of which school to attend. However, as for the thing about "We don't make the rules we don't enforce them" being similar to saying "We're just following orders" I think that raises a philosophical question of are the rules immoral? What the Nazis did was definitely immoral, and if you believe being ordered to do something doesn't justify immorality (which I would agree with by the way) then that's not much of a justification. But can we prove the rules are immoral in and of themselves?

[the Analogist]

If I had a good wizard hat, I would have gone to work as Gandalf. I already have Islamic clothes that could easily pass for wizard.

As for school, I pick a third unlisted option, Sudbury School!!

Also school was designed to make you an obedient soldier/worker. The institution was developed in Prussia, which by no accident became Germany, then Germany tried to become Europe, but they lost that war in the 1940's.

So yeah, your Nazi parallel is more spot on than almost anybody is aware of or would admit..

[the Analogist]

As for making just rules, you have to just start with some basic beliefs/assumptions. You can measure specific or general ideas against those beliefs. Bear in mind, the beliefs don't really come from anywhere, because they are the premise of the discussion. If you arguing about these things with somebody of different beliefs it is more effective to argue about the beliefs themselves.

Lets start with "kids won't grow up right without school". Unless this person DENIES history many great and revered people had little to no schooling, so that is just plain wrong and stupid. But, there is an important feature to the idea, two actually. (1) that there IS A RIGHT WAY TO GROW UP, and (2) that school does ut for you. Keeping it simple, lets pick on (1). So how does your model for "correct education" account for drop outs who hate it and go on to be important influential people? Perhaos they think like Darwin that talent is very unevenly dispersed in the population and only a few have it. Guess what, here is your belief! A beliefe in the innate weakness of people and that talent or inteligence is rare, therefore your FEW examples are IRRELEVANT. An attitude that dismisses facts themselves from consideration! And guess what? Those a-holes run the school