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Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender
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UnicornLionWolf Offline
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Post: #1
Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

I've had odd dreams of encountering girls.

One involved going to Macau (never been to China before, much less Macau, don't even plan on going to that particular Chinese city) and I ended up seeing the girl I liked in 3rd grade there. She was Japanese, not Chinese though. I don't know if it matters.

Another dream involved being with my mom and encountering some Japanese girl I never met before in real life, and she asked my mom if we used some Internet service provider that was popular with Chinese because my mom is part Chinese.

Yet another time I met a Chinese girl with a pretty face but weird feet.

Why are they all Asian? Am I subconsciously racist? I hope not.

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06-25-2016 04:23 PM
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no Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

Don't worry. Everyone is subconsciously racist.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
06-26-2016 03:55 AM
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Alistoriv Offline
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Post: #3
Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

doesn't necessarily mean you're racist, just might have a thing for chinese grills Wink

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06-26-2016 08:02 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #4
Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

I think being racist and being attracted to people of a specific race is not really the same thing. The one is negative and the other is positive, sort of...

Or maybe these dreams are being caused by a specific Japanese person you may have liked in the past. Razz

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06-26-2016 08:37 AM
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UnicornLionWolf Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

(06-26-2016 08:37 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  I think being racist and being attracted to people of a specific race is not really the same thing. The one is negative and the other is positive, sort of...

Or maybe these dreams are being caused by a specific Japanese person you may have liked in the past. Razz

So...I shouldn't be too worried?

I actually do have Asian blood on my mother's side...Filipino and Chinese though. I wonder if that's a factor.

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06-26-2016 03:26 PM
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UnicornLionWolf Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

(06-26-2016 08:02 AM)Alistoriv Wrote:  doesn't necessarily mean you're racist, just might have a thing for chinese grills Wink

My sister thinks I'm into Asian girls in general because I watch Jpop and Kpop...I guess she's right. Ironically I don't really like the idea of having a thing for a particular race.

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06-26-2016 03:41 PM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

(06-26-2016 03:41 PM)UnicornLionWolf Wrote:  I don't really like the idea of having a thing for a particular race.

Are you worried that it is some form of objectification?

I feel like objectification is not a recognition that certain qualities are attractive to you, but to go an extra step and say that since those qualities are present there is no need to respect the person. Very different things.

Even then, I feel the inclination to objectify quite regularly. I find it advantageous that I can't/don't take attractive women seriously since, if I did, the only benefit would be that I interact in some positive way with an attractive woman. My wife would rightfully be pissed I think.

Rather than worry about our nature being corrupt or something, I like the idea that we simply take on habits to accommodate our nature. This is why both my wife and I choose to be Muslim because it makes sense from that standpoint. She doesn't mingle with guys nor I with girls. She covers herself up to conceal her body so more imagination is needed for those inclined to think of her that way when they see her. I too dress modestly. Temptation will exist, fight it a little, but mostly avoid tempting situations so you don't have to fight it.

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06-27-2016 06:52 AM
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UnicornLionWolf Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

(06-27-2016 06:52 AM)the Analogist Wrote:  
(06-26-2016 03:41 PM)UnicornLionWolf Wrote:  I don't really like the idea of having a thing for a particular race.

Are you worried that it is some form of objectification?

I feel like objectification is not a recognition that certain qualities are attractive to you, but to go an extra step and say that since those qualities are present there is no need to respect the person. Very different things.

Even then, I feel the inclination to objectify quite regularly. I find it advantageous that I can't/don't take attractive women seriously since, if I did, the only benefit would be that I interact in some positive way with an attractive woman. My wife would rightfully be pissed I think.

Rather than worry about our nature being corrupt or something, I like the idea that we simply take on habits to accommodate our nature. This is why both my wife and I choose to be Muslim because it makes sense from that standpoint. She doesn't mingle with guys nor I with girls. She covers herself up to conceal her body so more imagination is needed for those inclined to think of her that way when they see her. I too dress modestly. Temptation will exist, fight it a little, but mostly avoid tempting situations so you don't have to fight it.

I wasn't really worried about objectification to be honest. We should treat each other with respect and not as objects, though.

My concern was that such a tendency might limit one's options in a way that isn't helpful. I mean, good people exist in every race.

I find it interesting that we can take on habits to accommodate our nature. I suppose I should look for ways to do that.

UnicornLionWolf
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06-27-2016 02:57 PM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

You will love your wife if she has what matters most to you. Even if she doesn't look the hottest thing ever, she won't, thats not the point. Learning to ignore women who aren't your wife helps you to more properly appreciate her for who she is.

Dont look to the one with more money, look to the one with less. The same applies to women. A good habit to appreciate what you have is to remember that having it is better than not.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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06-27-2016 07:26 PM
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UnicornLionWolf Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Dreams Regarding The Opposite Gender

(06-28-2016 08:21 AM)Joker Wrote:  A common phase for teenage boys... you subconciously lust for Asian women because they are (seemingly) submissive, pure, and mystical.

I don't really buy into the stereotype though...considering I've Asian heritage on my mom's side...

UnicornLionWolf
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06-29-2016 06:09 AM
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