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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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Bullshit article
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #1
Bullshit article

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the...ove-is-bad

As a person who was raised in a toxic environment, I have no trouble figuring out how harmful this article is, not to mention I have seen contradictions and signs of hypocrisy in this article
(This post was last modified: 05-16-2016 10:34 PM by Cianna200.)
05-16-2016 10:31 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Bullshit article

Oh wow, what the fuck... I can't even read the whole thing. How the hell is that guy even allowed to post on that site? I thought they at least had some standards...

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05-16-2016 11:37 PM
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no Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Bullshit article

(05-16-2016 11:37 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Oh wow, what the fuck... I can't even read the whole thing. How the hell is that guy even allowed to post on that site? I thought they at least had some standards...

Psychology Today ran an article a while back telling people what kind of body is okay to be attracted to and if your opinion is different you are "delusional." Feel free to disbelieve me, as I don't have a link and don't really fancy looking up such hideousness again. Their articles are also often ridden with awful typos, even in the title/description. No, they do not have standards.

Though unconditional love does not exist. If you love your mother but not Hitler, for example, then your love is conditional on not being Hitler.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
05-17-2016 07:06 AM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Bullshit article

So psychology today can't really be trusted eh? I wouldn't say unconditional love doesn't exist, just probably really rare. (One cannot say it doesn't exist if they don't have all the answers) Yes if you love someone but hate another, your love for the person you don't hate is conditional, especially if they turn out like the person you hate. However this article suggests using "love" as a tool to manipulate children.
(This post was last modified: 05-17-2016 07:19 AM by Cianna200.)
05-17-2016 07:17 AM
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no Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Bullshit article

True. The article itself is fairly reprehensible.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
05-17-2016 07:31 AM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Bullshit article

I think it's always been a weird pop pseudoscience publication but still with some respectability. That's my impression. The move online tends to dig into the quality control even more. The first comment, where the father points out that the author seems to be confusing approval with love really says all that needs to be said. Poor wording. Poor writing. I don't think it's as offensive as it first appears but that's only because I don't think the author is articulate enough to correctly express his point of view. I actually feel sorry for the author now that his name is going to be aligned with such a disagreeable premise.

Or maybe he really is that much of an asshole.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


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05-17-2016 11:00 AM
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StrixDesmodus Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Bullshit article

(05-17-2016 11:00 AM)TheCancer Wrote:  I think it's always been a weird pop pseudoscience publication but still with some respectability. That's my impression. The move online tends to dig into the quality control even more. The first comment, where the father points out that the author seems to be confusing approval with love really says all that needs to be said. Poor wording. Poor writing. I don't think it's as offensive as it first appears but that's only because I don't think the author is articulate enough to correctly express his point of view. I actually feel sorry for the author now that his name is going to be aligned with such a disagreeable premise.

Or maybe he really is that much of an asshole.



I binge on Psychology Today and similar websites (exageratively speaking) every day. They aren't complete shit, it's more like vanity press with a theme. All you need to get on there, I think, is a PHD for credibility's sake, but heaven knows they'll also hand those out to nearly anybody....It depends on the writer, and they are indiscriminate in their acceptance.

The problem with almost any article though, is that it's one-sided; They only acknowledge one sort per role per article, and when all you have is a hammer then everything looks like a nail. This is especially made worse by the high probability that very few people try to figure out how other people around them think, aside from trying to come up with an alternative image of the other person.
(This post was last modified: 05-17-2016 11:45 AM by StrixDesmodus.)
05-17-2016 11:38 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Bullshit article

The article seemed like a typical piece of junk my parents would send my way thinking i would find it interesting. It wasn't until i read the comments that I felt it was actually quite crappy.

totally failed to draw a meaningful distinction between love and approval. gave no easy to understand advice or tip to be cognizant of. it read like a rant about millenials which I always find deeply offensive because the people who write those are always lumps of shit.

I have a PhD in being human. I've studied it more deeply than the shallow people who find shallow study in isolation fun. My interest and open-ness on the subject makes me more qualified to talk about everything they say. Except that I don't attempt to since I have no such PhD to grant me the permission to shoot from the hips for all eternity citing nothing on account of my "qualifications". These people make me sick. that anybody takes them more seriously than a supermarket cashier on face value alone makes me even sicker.

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05-17-2016 12:43 PM
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