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What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #1
What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

People search for this a lot, and we don't really have anything specifically addressing this. I think we should.

If school is making you suicidal - Try to stop going to school as much as you possibly can. I know it's hard with people nagging you, maybe threatening you or even physically forcing you to go... but your life is important, far more important than some grades or your parents' approval. Join these forums and talk to us - we will try to understand and help as much as we can. Hug
Also, Read about alternatives to school.

If school is constantly making you depressed - There's a lot of stupid information about depression out there in the world. If school is depressing you, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or the chemicals in your brain. School is a depressing and unnatural environment, and your depression is a totally natural reaction to it. Getting out would probably be the best thing to do (but far from the easiest thing to do, as you can probably imagine).

Here are some sensible things to read about depression as it relates to school:

Why I believe depression is not a mental illness

Society causes depression

What causes teen depression?

Intelligent people are more likely to be depressed

Depression and school:
I'm thinking depression is a critical effect of the lack of control teens have over their lives. The fact that it seems universally acceptable to deny young people the right to some or any control over their lives at a developmental point where they should be practicing making choices and learning from successes and failures in a safer environment than they will have when they leave home -- that seems utterly nonsensical.

My point is this: frustration and anger at lack of control in school and at home is a reasonable response. Lack of power to change the situation leads to head injury from banging against brick walls. But the brick walls don't move, and it is again a perfectly reasonable response to become depressed.


More Useful Links:

Depression And Suicide - a lot of tips and insights and some more links.

Convincing Parents
Convincing your parents or legal guardian to consider alternative schooling (or no schooling at all for that matter) is tricky, but if done efficiently it may be one of the prime factors that decides your fate and whether or not your parents will back you on any decisions you make yourself.

What Should I Do If I Am Afraid To Disappoint My Parents?

How To Finish High School Online For Free

Web Learning - free online courses and stuff.

... And lots more info on the School Survival Wiki

Some thoughts about therapy / counseling:

If you're lucky to find a good counselor, it can help a lot. So to anyone who wants to try that - keep in mind you might have to try a few different people before you find one that feels right for you. They're only human, after all, and vary about as wildly as all the other people do. Don't be afraid to ditch a therapist if they're not helping you, and especially if they're making you feel worse.

Thoughts? What would you add to this?

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"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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(This post was last modified: 05-21-2016 06:40 AM by SoulRiser.)
05-15-2016 04:15 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Counseling works wonders and we shouldn't shun it.

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05-15-2016 03:17 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #3
What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Yeah, if you're lucky to find a good counselor then it can help a lot. So to anyone who wants to try that - keep in mind you might have to try a few different people before you find one that feels right for you. They're only human, after all, and vary about as wildly as all the other people do.

Support School Survival on Patreon!

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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05-16-2016 06:49 AM
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Post: #4
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-16-2016 06:49 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Yeah, if you're lucky to find a good counselor then it can help a lot. So to anyone who wants to try that - keep in mind you might have to try a few different people before you find one that feels right for you. They're only human, after all, and vary about as wildly as all the other people do.


Only f you get a good counselor, tho..If they just disregard your feelings, invalidate your concerns, and/or tell everything to the causes of your issues...like I feared my school counselor would have done...


Don't disregard counselling; that's good advice, but it's conditional on finding a counselor you can trust and work with.

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05-17-2016 04:49 PM
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Post: #5
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Don't use that excuse a lot to not seek out help though. It's cynical.

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(This post was last modified: 05-18-2016 11:16 AM by Miller0700.)
05-18-2016 11:15 AM
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Post: #6
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-18-2016 11:15 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  Don't use that excuse a lot to not seek out help though. It's cynical.

Advice I learned years too late.

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05-18-2016 05:53 PM
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Post: #7
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

For the love of Satan don't use your school psychologist for anything unless you have to. Find someone who isn't being paid by your main stressor. And trial them for a bit and know it's okay to leave! I only realized that "this person isn't working, let's find someone else" was something you were allowed to say after five years of therapy with an irritating lady who thought it was wrong to disagree with any rule or regulation.

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05-18-2016 08:30 PM
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Post: #8
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-18-2016 11:15 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  Don't use that excuse a lot to not seek out help though. It's cynical.

Excuse? It's a perfectly valid reason. Same reason many people avoid gambling. It takes a lot of time and money to go to random therapists in the hopes of finding a good one.

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"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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Post: #9
What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

I don't believe in therapy or psychiatry.

Take a look here - http://antipsychiatry.org/
05-19-2016 05:35 AM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-18-2016 11:35 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  
(05-18-2016 11:15 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  Don't use that excuse a lot to not seek out help though. It's cynical.

Excuse? It's a perfectly valid reason. Same reason many people avoid gambling. It takes a lot of time and money to go to random therapists in the hopes of finding a good one.

You'd avoid help because you had problem finding it? That's a dangerous mentality. Would you give up on finding a hospital altogether to treat your broken arm because some of the doctors were mean to you?

(05-19-2016 05:35 AM)Joker Wrote:  I don't believe in therapy or psychiatry.

Take a look here - http://antipsychiatry.org/

Sketchy site at best. Sounds like the same people who write off psychology as a bunk science (which it's not.)

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(This post was last modified: 05-19-2016 08:45 AM by Miller0700.)
05-19-2016 08:39 AM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-19-2016 08:39 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  
(05-19-2016 05:35 AM)Joker Wrote:  I don't believe in therapy or psychiatry.

Take a look here - http://antipsychiatry.org/

Sketchy site at best. Sounds like the same people who write off psychology as a bunk science (which it's not.)

I trust this website much more than someone who would tell me "you feel this way because of a chemical imbalance in your brain." Statements like that reinforce learned helplessness.
05-19-2016 10:38 AM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

You'd trust them over people who spend years understanding the brain and mind and how they work?

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05-19-2016 11:04 AM
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Post: #13
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-19-2016 11:04 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  You'd trust them over people who spend years understanding the brain and mind and how they work?

You may if the current zeitgeist in psychology (the "all character traits are a disorder, we should all be 99% alike and no intellectual diversity") doesn't jive with your worldview. But who am I to say that? Clearly I am wrong as ordained by wizards with bits of paper!

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05-19-2016 12:22 PM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

That's a strawman of what psychologists believe.

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05-19-2016 12:30 PM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-19-2016 11:04 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  You'd trust them over people who spend years understanding the brain and mind and how they work?

Speaking as a person who's spent years understanding the brain and mind and how they work, it baffles me to realize just how much "experts" pretend to know... and just how little they know. (And I know even less than that!) We've only scratched the surface of this fascinating social science... though you wouldn't know it just by asking some of the more arrogant know-it-alls in the field.

It seems to me that the goal should be not to find who knows the most, but who puts what little knowledge they do have to the best use, who understands that their job is to cure rather than confound... and while it's possible that such individuals would willingly associate with institutions of indoctrination, I certainly wouldn't be holding my breath.

That said, I do regret not trying to see if this was the case. Then again, knowing my counselors, perhaps I did dodge a bullet by not speaking up. Who can say?

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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Avoiding help and avoiding people who are likely to make it worse are very different things, and sadly, psychologists and (possibly especially) psychiatrists could easily do both, and there is no way to know which they will do beforehand. For a depressed and vulnerable person, more disappointment is not good for them, and they might not have the strength to keep on looking for some elusive person based entirely on luck.

So, some kind of referral system is needed to make it easier for people to find a therapist they will actually get along with.

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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-19-2016 12:30 PM)Miller0700 Wrote:  That's a strawman of what psychologists believe.

Please elucidate me, then.

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05-20-2016 12:13 AM
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Post: #18
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

I was very depressed this semester, as my dad had died early on and I never got the opportunity to take a breather to process it properly due to the intense amount of schoolwork I had to take care of this semester. I avoided class when it was inconsequential, but it didn't make a difference when I had to get projects done anyway. I just wanted a break to experience life for a bit to help me process what had just happened. At least I made it through the semester and now have the entirety of this summer to figure it out.

(05-19-2016 08:39 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  
(05-18-2016 11:35 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  
(05-18-2016 11:15 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  Don't use that excuse a lot to not seek out help though. It's cynical.

Excuse? It's a perfectly valid reason. Same reason many people avoid gambling. It takes a lot of time and money to go to random therapists in the hopes of finding a good one.

You'd avoid help because you had problem finding it? That's a dangerous mentality. Would you give up on finding a hospital altogether to treat your broken arm because some of the doctors were mean to you?

(05-19-2016 05:35 AM)Joker Wrote:  I don't believe in therapy or psychiatry.

Take a look here - http://antipsychiatry.org/

Sketchy site at best. Sounds like the same people who write off psychology as a bunk science (which it's not.)
It sounds like you've always been in a sound financial situation throughout your life. I say this because otherwise it would occur to you that therapists are expensive. If $50 were a lot of money to you and you realized it's being entirely wasted on someone who hasn't helped you in the slightest, you'd feel very reluctant to do so again in the future when you could be spending that money on the food you need to survive instead. That's why even though I have a crippling anxiety issue which causes me to be avoidant of people, I haven't really bothered, remembering the negative experience I had as a teenager and not wanting to waste my money.

Quote: I trust this website much more than someone who would tell me "you feel this way because of a chemical imbalance in your brain." Statements like that reinforce learned helplessness.

Well, chemicals in the brain do have a significant impact on our behavior. To deny that is to deny reality. If you feel symptoms of depression and there is the absence of any sort of traumatic event happening to justify it... you probably have a chemical depression issue. If you are anxious in every day situations which most people would find to be of little consequence... you probably have a chemical anxiety issue. If you're hallucinating things which aren't there, and you haven't been taking hallucinogenic drugs, guess what, your dopamine and serotonin levels are FUCKED.

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Post: #19
What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Quote:If you feel symptoms of depression and there is the absence of any sort of traumatic event happening to justify it... you probably have a chemical depression issue.
Maybe. Or maybe the reasons are buried deep inside your subconscious and are not obvious to spot.

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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

It's leaning to the former.

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05-20-2016 10:54 AM
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What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Quote:It's leaning to the former.
You are.

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05-21-2016 02:18 AM
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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-21-2016 02:18 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  
Quote:It's leaning to the former.
You are.

Nope.

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RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-20-2016 12:13 AM)no Wrote:  Please elucidate me, then.

Lets take it step by step then.

(05-19-2016 12:22 PM)no Wrote:  You may if the current zeitgeist in psychology (the "all character traits are a disorder,

Sources? Because listing personality traits which some psychologist do, doesn't mean they are treating them as a disorder, rather than trying to understand them by laying them out on the table. Quick googling of "personality traits" and none of them hint at mental illness.

(05-19-2016 12:22 PM)no Wrote:  we should all be 99% alike and no intellectual diversity")

Sources?

(05-19-2016 12:22 PM)no Wrote:  But who am I to say that? Clearly I am wrong as ordained by wizards with bits of paper!

What's the point of going to school for years, spending thousands of dollars just for some guy on the internet to tell you you're simply wrong on everything you've learned?

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05-21-2016 03:03 AM
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Post: #24
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

Honestly, how I see things is that no matter how upsetting school is, you just have to push through it. I am 16 and I am suicidal and very depressed. I have no friends, I don't want friends. Only friend I really have is my boyfriend and he really just ignores me most of the time. He just sits around and tries to make very sexual gestures and I'll tell him I'm uncomfortable and then he will get mad and I'll decide (By myself) to leave. I barely hang out with him for that reason. All my friends I have outside of school tell me I shouldn't be treated like that and that I should leave him. I was shunned by him for about a month because he is against me being transgender but everyone else that knows accepts me and tells me that I shouldn't be with him. I'm trying each and everyday to try and figure out a way to get out of this relationship after making 6 months together... We broke up for two fucking days then I was the dumbass to take him back... I shouldn't have done that. I should have told him to stop talking to me and I would have been fine and probably in a new relationship. High school is hard with all this drama... Its stressful as hell also when your teacher for geometry doesnt explain anything the way he should and youre failing.
05-21-2016 03:49 AM
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Post: #25
What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

In my worst moments, if someone I trusted had told me something like "It's all in your head", "You're imagining everything", etc. I would've imploded.

Good thing I didn't trust anybody then, because comments like these came in spades. If they were backed by the apparent wisdom of a psychologist, no matter how wrong they were, I would have believed it, withdrawn even more, done something (I cannot say what as I was never placed into that position) drastic. As it was, I was sick of everything- only concern for my sister and my absorption in works of fiction held me back.

And then I overcame the depression. I realized that not every person is an asshole out to hurt me; that good people exist, and I must reach out to them; basically, I learned more about the world and that empowered me to purge the unhealthy mindset of a wounded animal. Don't get me wrong; I still think I need therapy, but if someone tells me that I am imagining or inventing my childhood woes, I can smile and tell them to fuck off, no matter how many degrees or positions they have. A healthy distrust of authority is probably the best thing school and my parents instilled in me.

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05-22-2016 02:48 AM
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Post: #26
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-22-2016 02:48 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  And then I overcame the depression. I realized that not every person is an asshole out to hurt me; that good people exist, and I must reach out to them; basically, I learned more about the world and that empowered me to purge the unhealthy mindset of a wounded animal. Don't get me wrong; I still think I need therapy, but if someone tells me that I am imagining or inventing my childhood woes, I can smile and tell them to fuck off, no matter how many degrees or positions they have. A healthy distrust of authority is probably the best thing school and my parents instilled in me.


You overcame your personal grief? That's great, but not everyone has the foresight, knowledge and persistence to do so. No, it's not "learned helplessness," but either due to both poor brain chemicals and/or unfortunate things in life. Psychologists try to understand mental processes and behavior, that's all. If they say what you're referring to above, then that person is bunk (still not a reason to label them all like that though) and that person alone. Distrusting those that want to help you can only get you so far in life.

Previously known as Derchin.
05-22-2016 11:24 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #27
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-22-2016 11:24 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  
(05-22-2016 02:48 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  And then I overcame the depression. I realized that not every person is an asshole out to hurt me; that good people exist, and I must reach out to them; basically, I learned more about the world and that empowered me to purge the unhealthy mindset of a wounded animal. Don't get me wrong; I still think I need therapy, but if someone tells me that I am imagining or inventing my childhood woes, I can smile and tell them to fuck off, no matter how many degrees or positions they have. A healthy distrust of authority is probably the best thing school and my parents instilled in me.


You overcame your personal grief? That's great, but not everyone has the foresight, knowledge and persistence to do so. No, it's not "learned helplessness," but either due to both poor brain chemicals and/or unfortunate things in life. Psychologists try to understand mental processes and behavior, that's all. If they say what you're referring to above, then that person is bunk (still not a reason to label them all like that though) and that person alone. Distrusting those that want to help you can only get you so far in life.

I disagree - we're only as helpless as we convince ourselves we are, and that can be a very hard cycle to break out of... harder still when the people who are only trying to help you are merely serving to push you back in.

Everyone experiences adversity, and no one can maintain optimal physical condition indefinitely. They're even survivable to some pretty extreme degrees just so long as they aren't followed by the loss of one's will to live.

The true power lies in the way we perceive the world. It always has. The most successful people are invariably those who know what success entails and have envisioned it properly. The most helpless people are those who have convinced themselves of their ineptitude and impotence. I've spoken before of the importance of a growth mindset; just by making the conscious effort to understand and change your cognition, you can start to develop and improve in ways you wouldn't have initially thought possible. A world of opportunity may open up for you.

It might even save your life. These things can only happen for real if you make them real, and doing that requires effort, which itself requires motivation. You've got to want it or you won't get it, and that's why it's important not to let your mindset stagnate or acquiesce to helplessness.

Not everyone has the foresight, knowledge, and persistence to overcome - not innately - but everyone can grow them. Ultimately, that's the very best thing they can do for themselves, especially when the world's begging them to stay down. The world is no authority - the only real authority consists of the masters we choose to serve, whether in the form of people, things, religious figures, or ourselves, and our progress is limited only by the cruelty of such authority. Pick wisely.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2016 04:06 PM by Ky.)
05-22-2016 04:03 PM
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Post: #28
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-22-2016 11:24 AM)Miller0700 Wrote:  
(05-22-2016 02:48 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  And then I overcame the depression. I realized that not every person is an asshole out to hurt me; that good people exist, and I must reach out to them; basically, I learned more about the world and that empowered me to purge the unhealthy mindset of a wounded animal. Don't get me wrong; I still think I need therapy, but if someone tells me that I am imagining or inventing my childhood woes, I can smile and tell them to fuck off, no matter how many degrees or positions they have. A healthy distrust of authority is probably the best thing school and my parents instilled in me.


You overcame your personal grief? That's great, but not everyone has the foresight, knowledge and persistence to do so. No, it's not "learned helplessness," but either due to both poor brain chemicals and/or unfortunate things in life. Psychologists try to understand mental processes and behavior, that's all. If they say what you're referring to above, then that person is bunk (still not a reason to label them all like that though) and that person alone. Distrusting those that want to help you can only get you so far in life.

I did say I still need therapy. I'm not dismissing all psychologists, or even getting help in general. And you left out resources; it's not like I climbed out using my own strength. If that was the case I wouldn't have been in the hole (so to speak) long enough to develop issues in the first place. Anime, music, books, you guys(referring to SSF in general) and a lot others helped me get where I am right now. I still have ways to go.

(05-22-2016 04:03 PM)Chiron Wrote:  I disagree - we're only as helpless as we convince ourselves we are, and that can be a very hard cycle to break out of... harder still when the people who are only trying to help you are merely serving to push you back in.

The true power lies in the way we perceive the world. It always has. The most successful people are invariably those who know what success entails and have envisioned it properly. The most helpless people are those who have convinced themselves of their ineptitude and impotence.

Beautiful.

I know I probably sound really pessimistic about having decent relations with people IRL. Hopefully, I'll find a way to change that soon.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
05-23-2016 04:15 AM
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Post: #29
RE: What to do if school makes you depressed and/or suicidal

(05-20-2016 07:19 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  
Quote:If you feel symptoms of depression and there is the absence of any sort of traumatic event happening to justify it... you probably have a chemical depression issue.
Maybe. Or maybe the reasons are buried deep inside your subconscious and are not obvious to spot.
That happens. That's why there needs to be more effort at differentiating chemical imbalances from more obscure justifications below the surface. I found the psychiatrist I had lacking in being able to differentiate anything at all. Literally told me we were just going to try drugs for different disorders until I was better because he was unable to diagnose properly. I refused medication.

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05-24-2016 01:21 PM
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