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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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I had a friend,
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MusicAndFruits1092 Offline
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Post: #1
I had a friend,

To start off, I'm sorry if this is long and I'm sorry if this post is kind of stupid.

Last year I had this amazing friend. We both liked the same type of music genres, the same songs. She was artistic and so was I. We were amazing friends for the whole entire school year and she wasn't one of those girls who was dramatical, she was never rude or mean and she was the sweetest person I've ever met. But then near the end of the school year last year we slowly started to stop talking to each other. It happened when she told me there were problems with her relationship between her and her boyfriend. She would always sit next to me in my computer class, but then when she started having problems with her relationship between her and her boyfriend things were different. Ever since that she would sit with her boyfriend since he was in the same computer class as we were. And I felt like she kind of lied to me because I thought she was being honest about the whole thing about how her and her boyfriend were having relationship problems but then every day she would sit next to him and she would be laughing with him, and then she stopped sitting next to me permanently. That kind of made me sad. She was really pretty too, but I didn't really have any "feelings" for her, even though I'm a guy. I just wanted to be friends because we had so much in common, and I'm not into the whole dating or relationship thing. Then after that I started getting really depressed because we stopped talking even more and more to the point of us where neither did I or her say hello to each other anymore. I felt confused and like she lied to me because during the whole time she had been telling me that, she was still sitting next to her boyfriend in computer class. But then like when she would text me on an app called Vine and she would tell me things about how her and her relationship with her boyfriend weren't going right. When we also first met as friends I asked her for her phone number but she said she didn't know it. But she had an iPhone, and it's easy to check for your phone number on iPhones. I felt like she kind of lied about that part because she gave everybody else I knew her phone number. And then she started talking to another guy I guess who was her new guy friend and saying thank you for supporting her and helping her whenever she was down. The guy was really nice, but I kind of felt like he was just saying things and didn't really think about ways to help her, and I guess he was just saying stuff to just help her. His advice was excellent I'm sure too, but I mean I was friends with her before, and then she was giving the other guy thanks for helping her and talking with her. I mean she did too, but that became her new guy buddy that she would talk to everyday. And whenever I texted her, I always tried to really show I cared and thought about every single thing, like how she felt and I even took the time to go online and look for ways to help her and her boyfriend (I wasn't familiar with how relationships work.) I even stayed up until like one in the morning. During the last few days of school I texted her just to make sure she was okay since she was kind of getting into the phase where she started to result towards self harm (please don't make fun of her) and she never replied, I didn't even go to the end of year school awards I guess because I felt bad that she didn't reply, and I didn't even go to see her at school because I felt like I didn't matter anymore - I guess is how you could say it? A few days passed after school ended and she never replied and I deleted all of my social media accounts that I added her on because I didn't want to unfriend her, or unfollow her. I just wanted to get away from social media, and politely remove her by doing that. I didn't do that like as to get revenge, but I couldn't bear the fact that she never replied and I had an account where I was friends with her knowing she'd probably never reply.

I know that it's stupid that I'm posting this a year late, but I just found out about this forums like a few months ago and I still miss her. She deleted all of her social media accounts too a few months ago, so I don't know if she's okay or anything.
:/ :(

I hope I didn't sound like I was jealous or anything, and if I did I'm very sorry. I guess I kind of was jealous, but not like jealous, jealous because she had a boyfriend or another guy was her friend. More like I guess annoyed that I felt like I was forgotten and that she probably forgot that she had a friend who really cared. And please don't say anything mean, or rude about her I mean she really was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet. I can't even imagine anyone hating her, and she was smart too.

I guess I wanted to understand why I felt that way, if you guys know what I mean. I just miss her though.
(This post was last modified: 04-29-2016 08:04 AM by MusicAndFruits1092.)
04-29-2016 08:03 AM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I had a friend,

It sounds like her boyfriend didn't want her talking to some other dude and she agreed to it although slightly reluctantly. Sometimes that's how it goes. Right or wrong.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
04-29-2016 09:38 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #3
I had a friend,

You're a really good friend.

I had similar problems with a bunch of people over the years... I'd always be there for them as a good listener and whatnot, and they'd offload all their problems on me, and then they'd just kind of always be conveniently hard to get hold of if I want to talk to them for whatever reason. Or they'd move away and not give me their contact details. And I'd track them down anyway, lol, but then they'd change their number again, or move again, and never once ever bother to contact me unless they needed something.

They were using me, pretty much. I guess that's the drawback of always trying to be a nice person... some people will take advantage. And because I'm always trying to see the good sides of people, they seemed like really nice people to me. I didn't want to realize what they were really doing to me... because that would mean I'd have to consider they might not be as nice as I thought.

I don't know if any of that applies to that girl... but everything you said reminds me of my experiences with "friends". I used to miss them a lot, too...

I hope you find a good friend who genuinely appreciates you.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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04-29-2016 10:07 AM
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MusicAndFruits1092 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I had a friend,

(04-29-2016 09:38 AM)TheCancer Wrote:  It sounds like her boyfriend didn't want her talking to some other dude and she agreed to it although slightly reluctantly. Sometimes that's how it goes. Right or wrong.

I guess that could've been the case. But I mean I was friends with her boyfriend, but I just didn't talk to him the last several years just because I guess we just lost interest.

(04-29-2016 10:07 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  You're a really good friend.

I had similar problems with a bunch of people over the years... I'd always be there for them as a good listener and whatnot, and they'd offload all their problems on me, and then they'd just kind of always be conveniently hard to get hold of if I want to talk to them for whatever reason. Or they'd move away and not give me their contact details. And I'd track them down anyway, lol, but then they'd change their number again, or move again, and never once ever bother to contact me unless they needed something.

They were using me, pretty much. I guess that's the drawback of always trying to be a nice person... some people will take advantage. And because I'm always trying to see the good sides of people, they seemed like really nice people to me. I didn't want to realize what they were really doing to me... because that would mean I'd have to consider they might not be as nice as I thought.

I don't know if any of that applies to that girl... but everything you said reminds me of my experiences with "friends". I used to miss them a lot, too...

I hope you find a good friend who genuinely appreciates you.

Thank you for telling me I'm a good friend. I've never really been told that before directly. And I'm sorry you had the same problem as I did. I know how you must've felt, and I know it's probably not the best feeling either.

(04-29-2016 11:00 AM)Joker Wrote:  It's always hard to move on when a good friend drops you.

I had a falling out with my best friend in my freshman year of high school. He was introverted, sensitive, and had geeky hobbies like me. But he slowly began to change for the worst. He began to ignore me and hang out with the druggies.

One day, we were walking around outside my house. I came across a dead squirrel that fell from the top of the tallest tree in my backyard. He laughed at it, but I found it sad. I realized he wasn't the person I once knew.

A lot of high school relationships are BS like that. You'll find that a lot of people will change in ways you would never imagine... or that they never cared about you much to begin with.

That's true. I'm sorry about your friend too.
(This post was last modified: 04-30-2016 06:17 AM by MusicAndFruits1092.)
04-30-2016 06:12 AM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #5
RE: I had a friend,

Quote:I guess that could've been the case. But I mean I was friends with her boyfriend, but I just didn't talk to him the last several years just because I guess we just lost interest.

It's not unusual for jealous boyfriends to turn their backs on their old friends. Young lust/love is very powerful. Makes people do things they never thought they'd do.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


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04-30-2016 06:34 AM
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schoolsux Offline
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Post: #6
I had a friend,

I wouldn't call it love. It's all lust.

schoolsux's countdown until school ends:

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(as of november 28, 2016)

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05-01-2016 10:50 AM
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MusicAndFruits1092 Offline
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RE: I had a friend,

(04-30-2016 06:34 AM)TheCancer Wrote:  
Quote:I guess that could've been the case. But I mean I was friends with her boyfriend, but I just didn't talk to him the last several years just because I guess we just lost interest.

It's not unusual for jealous boyfriends to turn their backs on their old friends. Young lust/love is very powerful. Makes people do things they never thought they'd do.

That could've also been the case too. But he wasn't like a douche or anything, just a guy who liked soccer really, and he was cool to just talk with.
05-02-2016 02:00 AM
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