I had a friend,
To start off, I'm sorry if this is long and I'm sorry if this post is kind of stupid.
Last year I had this amazing friend. We both liked the same type of music genres, the same songs. She was artistic and so was I. We were amazing friends for the whole entire school year and she wasn't one of those girls who was dramatical, she was never rude or mean and she was the sweetest person I've ever met. But then near the end of the school year last year we slowly started to stop talking to each other. It happened when she told me there were problems with her relationship between her and her boyfriend. She would always sit next to me in my computer class, but then when she started having problems with her relationship between her and her boyfriend things were different. Ever since that she would sit with her boyfriend since he was in the same computer class as we were. And I felt like she kind of lied to me because I thought she was being honest about the whole thing about how her and her boyfriend were having relationship problems but then every day she would sit next to him and she would be laughing with him, and then she stopped sitting next to me permanently. That kind of made me sad. She was really pretty too, but I didn't really have any "feelings" for her, even though I'm a guy. I just wanted to be friends because we had so much in common, and I'm not into the whole dating or relationship thing. Then after that I started getting really depressed because we stopped talking even more and more to the point of us where neither did I or her say hello to each other anymore. I felt confused and like she lied to me because during the whole time she had been telling me that, she was still sitting next to her boyfriend in computer class. But then like when she would text me on an app called Vine and she would tell me things about how her and her relationship with her boyfriend weren't going right. When we also first met as friends I asked her for her phone number but she said she didn't know it. But she had an iPhone, and it's easy to check for your phone number on iPhones. I felt like she kind of lied about that part because she gave everybody else I knew her phone number. And then she started talking to another guy I guess who was her new guy friend and saying thank you for supporting her and helping her whenever she was down. The guy was really nice, but I kind of felt like he was just saying things and didn't really think about ways to help her, and I guess he was just saying stuff to just help her. His advice was excellent I'm sure too, but I mean I was friends with her before, and then she was giving the other guy thanks for helping her and talking with her. I mean she did too, but that became her new guy buddy that she would talk to everyday. And whenever I texted her, I always tried to really show I cared and thought about every single thing, like how she felt and I even took the time to go online and look for ways to help her and her boyfriend (I wasn't familiar with how relationships work.) I even stayed up until like one in the morning. During the last few days of school I texted her just to make sure she was okay since she was kind of getting into the phase where she started to result towards self harm (please don't make fun of her) and she never replied, I didn't even go to the end of year school awards I guess because I felt bad that she didn't reply, and I didn't even go to see her at school because I felt like I didn't matter anymore - I guess is how you could say it? A few days passed after school ended and she never replied and I deleted all of my social media accounts that I added her on because I didn't want to unfriend her, or unfollow her. I just wanted to get away from social media, and politely remove her by doing that. I didn't do that like as to get revenge, but I couldn't bear the fact that she never replied and I had an account where I was friends with her knowing she'd probably never reply.
I know that it's stupid that I'm posting this a year late, but I just found out about this forums like a few months ago and I still miss her. She deleted all of her social media accounts too a few months ago, so I don't know if she's okay or anything.
I hope I didn't sound like I was jealous or anything, and if I did I'm very sorry. I guess I kind of was jealous, but not like jealous, jealous because she had a boyfriend or another guy was her friend. More like I guess annoyed that I felt like I was forgotten and that she probably forgot that she had a friend who really cared. And please don't say anything mean, or rude about her I mean she really was the sweetest girl you'd ever meet. I can't even imagine anyone hating her, and she was smart too.
I guess I wanted to understand why I felt that way, if you guys know what I mean. I just miss her though.