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August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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I have a problem...
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
Revolutionary

Posts: 484
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Post: #1
I have a problem...

I have a peculiar problem; a left-over habit from school, probably. It goes something like this.
*I have a shit ton of free time, some tasks to do that won't take up more than half of said free time, and a few leisure activities i want to do as well(think music or art, or crafts like embroidery or macrame).
*I plan out how to tackle them (like say, task 1,2 then a break; then task 3, followed by a hobby, and so on.).
*I follow the plan to an extent, say four steps out of ten, but lose enthusiasm somewhere along the way.
*After some time I end up doing nothing. NOTHING. Not something I enjoy, like playing games, or something productive, like those tasks and chores.

At some point, even the normally enjoyable stuff starts feeling like an obligation, for the lack of a better term. And when I enter this phase, nothing feels good, or bad...I'm just numb. The reason I compared it to school was that this was how I felt after school was over, and I went home- from one prison to another; from the teachers' nagging to the Turds' bullshit.

But school is over; and I'm in the middle of vacations(college); I want to figure out how to stop wasting so much time and snap out of this cycle once I enter it. Any ideas?

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


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04-20-2016 06:56 PM
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no Offline
True Scotsman

Posts: 1,238
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Post: #2
RE: I have a problem...

Damned if I know. I'm in the same boat.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
04-20-2016 08:32 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
Site Founder

Posts: 18,240
Joined: Aug 2001
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Post: #3
I have a problem...

I rebel against my own to-do lists and plans. Maybe this is similar to what you're doing. If I think that I "should" do something, then it makes me not want to do it. So all my to-do lists are actually just suggestion lists.

The people who go out and run say that if they think about the process of going out and running for an hour, they feel de-motivated. But if they just decide to put on their shoes and go run for say 5 minutes, then once they actually get out there and start running, they keep going for longer than 5 minutes, because it's easier to keep going than it is to start. And it's hard to start when the task ahead seems overwhelming... so... in theory, just try to get yourself to work on something for 5 minutes or whatever. If you work on it more than that, great, if not, that's fine too. But what do I know, I'm not exactly taking my own advice. Razz

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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04-21-2016 04:22 AM
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 Thanks given by: Rule_BreakerXVIII
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #4
RE: I have a problem...

I plan to do stuff. I just end up eating and playing vidya games/binge watching.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-21-2016 03:16 PM
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