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I need help with school
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MusicAndFruits1092 Offline
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Post: #1
I need help with school

I'm a freshman in high school, and I need help. I'm sorry if this is long. I guess if you guys have any advice, could you give them to me please? Sorry if what I'm saying doesn't make sense, I don't know it's hard for me to express what I'm feeling. Whenever I go to write whatever I'm feeling I don't know what to write, if you guys know what I mean.


I feel like I can't learn, or I'm not learning or that I'm not learning like the way you're supposed too.

1) I'll try to really focus on what the teacher says, but sometimes I focus so hard I zone out. I don't know why or how, but I do it frequently and it makes it hard for me to learn if I can't focus.

2) I also feel like I can't learn because some people will understand things the same day we learn it. I know that's not true for all people, but even the kids that don't really focus and just talk a lot in class seem to do better on tests than I do, or like they understand something that I don't. And I'll reread it, or go over it and over it and I still won't get it.

I have too much homework and no time for leisure
Ever since school started back this year I've had so much homework I haven't had time for a break. My teachers are always constantly giving us homework, even over the weekend and breaks. I wish they would give us some time to get our minds off of school. Just having me think about school and school work over and over makes me kind of feel like I'm in like a cell I can't escape. I know there are other people in the world who probably have so much more work than me, or don't even have access to a school. I try to remember that, and try to understand we live in America and we're fortunate for that but sometimes there's just too much work, and I can't really handle it.

I get overwhelmed by homework easily
I guess this is my biggest problem. I'll try to do homework, but when I feel like or know I do something wrong I immediately start to shut down because I stress over it. I try not to stress over it, but it's because I get this feeling that I either didn't answer the question right, or I did it wrong. This always happens whenever I start my homework, and after that if I can't even get passed question one I just give up and stress over it.

I try to be the best student and I still mess up
I've always wanted to be that student you know is really smart, that handles situations perfectly, they can balance school and have friends, and always do really good in school and they're like known for being extremely nice or smart. I've always wanted to be a student like that, and I always look up to those students. But I can't, I try to be nice but then people take advantage of me, and I can't help not being nice. Even when I don't talk I still somehow end up getting in trouble and I don't even mean too. I don't know I guess it's because I take small things teachers or students say at me personally. I try not to take it personally, but I mean small things like that really ruin my day and I will feel so guilty and bad like I did something wrong.

I don't feel smart
I'm not smart. I feel like I'm the average under-average student. A lot of people think I'm smart but I'm not, and I feel guilty when people think that about me. I almost wanted to cry today because in my intensive math class I heard my teacher talking to this girl who does much better than anyone else in the class like advancing to other algebra classes, and getting in the IB program and doing other STEM classes. She deserves that encouragement though. I mean I can't really expect to get in any classes or get any motivation like that when I'm lazy to even do homework. I guess that's what you could consider being jealous, but I don't feel like I'm jealous. I've always wanted to be the "smart" kid, because why wouldn't you want too? I don't know, I've always loved the idea of being a dork, and standing out and being smart. All my school life, since elementary school until now (ninth grade) and I'm still in the average under-average group.

I guess, can someone help me figure out why I'm like this or why I feel like this, or do you guys have any suggestions or comments? I'm sorry again that this was long and if some of it it didn't make any sense. This has been happening all my school life, and I just started to realize how bad it's been ever since I've started high school. Please don't post anything mean.
(This post was last modified: 03-18-2016 11:40 AM by MusicAndFruits1092.)
03-18-2016 11:37 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I need help with school

Hey musicandfruits1092! Welcome aboard! You're always welcome to vent your feelings on here!

(03-18-2016 11:37 AM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:  I feel like I can't learn, or I'm not learning or that I'm not learning like the way you're supposed too.

1) I'll try to really focus on what the teacher says, but sometimes I focus so hard I zone out. I don't know why or how, but I do it frequently and it makes it hard for me to learn if I can't focus.

2) I also feel like I can't learn because some people will understand things the same day we learn it. I know that's not true for all people, but even the kids that don't really focus and just talk a lot in class seem to do better on tests than I do, or like they understand something that I don't. And I'll reread it, or go over it and over it and I still won't get it.

It's not surprising that you tend to zone out in class. Most people do that when they're incredibly bored and have nothing useful to do. That's why we stare out in the window, because we don't want to be forced to sit and listen. It wears on the mind.

It sounds like you just don't fit in the system. It's perfectly normal, there's nothing wrong with you. We intake information in different ways.

Unfortunately in recent years this has lead to a number of ADHD "diagnoses", when in reality it's just stubbornness to see the system plainly doesn't work as we think it does. I have ADHD myself, so I know the bullshit.

(03-18-2016 11:37 AM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:  I have too much homework and no time for leisure
Ever since school started back this year I've had so much homework I haven't had time for a break. My teachers are always constantly giving us homework, even over the weekend and breaks. I wish they would give us some time to get our minds off of school. Just having me think about school and school work over and over makes me kind of feel like I'm in like a cell I can't escape. I know there are other people in the world who probably have so much more work than me, or don't even have access to a school. I try to remember that, and try to understand we live in America and we're fortunate for that but sometimes there's just too much work, and I can't really handle it.
Sounds like my situation. Right now I'm so overburdened by college (and a potential move) that I've not focused on anything else right now. I'd love to start exercising again. That made me happy...

Also, don't feel guilty. You're not used to the kind of workload you've been getting. It's perfectly normal to vent about it. It really does feel like the industrial revolution no?

(03-18-2016 11:37 AM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:   I get overwhelmed by homework easily
I guess this is my biggest problem. I'll try to do homework, but when I feel like or know I do something wrong I immediately start to shut down because I stress over it. I try not to stress over it, but it's because I get this feeling that I either didn't answer the question right, or I did it wrong. This always happens whenever I start my homework, and after that if I can't even get passed question one I just give up and stress over it.

We share something in common. Whenever I do something wrong, or I feel I did it wrong, I tend to have these shut downs where I feel I failed everything, and just stop doing it. It sucks, and it's important to realize that even if we make mistakes, most of the time it's not as bad as we think it is. Still, instilling that kind of mindset can be difficult.

(03-18-2016 11:37 AM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:  I try to be the best student and I still mess up
I've always wanted to be that student you know is really smart, that handles situations perfectly, they can balance school and have friends, and always do really good in school and they're like known for being extremely nice or smart. I've always wanted to be a student like that, and I always look up to those students. But I can't, I try to be nice but then people take advantage of me, and I can't help not being nice. Even when I don't talk I still somehow end up getting in trouble and I don't even mean too. I don't know I guess it's because I take small things teachers or students say at me personally. I try not to take it personally, but I mean small things like that really ruin my day and I will feel so guilty and bad like I did something wrong.
To start off cliche it sounds like you're trying to be something you're not. Have you taken a Jung Briggs Myers personality test? I took one and it actually felt liberating in the sense that the things I did weren't so wrong, it truly was nature.

But I know the feeling all too well. I used to try to socialize with people and just tried being myself, but my god, there are some vicious people out there. There are people who pretty much view you first as an asset (this was how my now ex girlfriend treated me). It's a vicious cycle I think partly because of social media, but also the old system of grades. Nowadays I don't bother much; I feel I'm back in my cynical stages on late 2013.

Do you feel unnecessary self-shame?

(03-18-2016 11:37 AM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:  I don't feel smart
I'm not smart. I feel like I'm the average under-average student. A lot of people think I'm smart but I'm not, and I feel guilty when people think that about me. I almost wanted to cry today because in my intensive math class I heard my teacher talking to this girl who does much better than anyone else in the class like advancing to other algebra classes, and getting in the IB program and doing other STEM classes. She deserves that encouragement though. I mean I can't really expect to get in any classes or get any motivation like that when I'm lazy to even do homework. I guess that's what you could consider being jealous, but I don't feel like I'm jealous. I've always wanted to be the "smart" kid, because why wouldn't you want too? I don't know, I've always loved the idea of being a dork, and standing out and being smart. All my school life, since elementary school until now (ninth grade) and I'm still in the average under-average group.

I guess, can someone help me figure out why I'm like this or why I feel like this, or do you guys have any suggestions or comments? I'm sorry again that this was long and if some of it it didn't make any sense. This has been happening all my school life, and I just started to realize how bad it's been ever since I've started high school. Please don't post anything mean.

I think that the fact that you were able to discuss about these internalized feelings shows that you are a smart person. A lot of people will struggle with their personal demons for years without understanding what they even signify.

To state the obvious, just because you're not good in your class doesn't mean you're not smart. Actually, many intellectuals struggle with school because they find the school system so painstakingly boring. To prove this point, I won 2 National Geographic Honors and scored quite high on state tests, but I used to struggle a lot in grades. I just sucked at that.

It's also important to realize there are multiple forms of intelligence, such as cognitive, emotional, social, mental/psychological, etc. You probably excel in some of these areas.

I hope you found my post helpful Smile. Feel free to browse the forum, make yourself a home!

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03-18-2016 05:14 PM
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MusicAndFruits1092 Offline
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Post: #3
I need help with school

Thank you for your post. I feel better now knowing I'm at least not the only one struggling. Smile
03-18-2016 07:41 PM
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Post: #4
I need help with school

Intelligence and doing well in school are two completely different things. Completely different. Grades don't measure your intelligence at all. School's grading system is entirely dependant on your ability to play their little schooling "game" in their specific way. It has very little to do with real learning. Mostly just memorization and following specific instructions.

So if you want to put in effort and do well in the school game, that's fine. Just don't get it mixed up with learning or intelligence. Smile

Quote:I try to be nice but then people take advantage of me, and I can't help not being nice.
I have this problem a lot too... it makes me not want to be nice. But I don't know how not to be nice... :(

Something else I've noticed: Many people who seem to have the ability to balance their life perfectly and do everything right, are actually really stressed on the inside, and have just gotten really good at hiding it.

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03-19-2016 07:31 AM
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Hansgrohe Offline
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I need help with school

Yeah, the school system is mostly designed to see how many assignments you turn in. Also, grades can be easily inflated/deflated...

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03-19-2016 07:48 AM
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RE: I need help with school

(03-18-2016 07:41 PM)musicandfruits1092 Wrote:  Thank you for your post. I feel better now knowing I'm at least not the only one struggling. Smile

You are not the only one Hug we all are and education right now is worse even college is just like high school
School only teach us to be obedient
(This post was last modified: 03-22-2016 09:27 AM by Ilija.m.)
03-22-2016 09:26 AM
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I need help with school

This kind of struggle happens with a lot of people and they don’t even realize the reason for years. I guess all you need is just identify your strengths and the areas where you can excel well.
05-24-2016 02:21 PM
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RE: I need help with school

In all of my classes I've normally just zoned out during the lecture because I find it impossible to concentrate on. I have no choice but to spend time outside of class teaching myself the material because I do not learn anything there at all. People have different learning styles, and it sounds like yours doesn't conform to the school mold. Don't take it personally: our school system imposes one of the most impersonal ways of learning to begin with. The important thing is that ultimately you figure out what interests you in particular and pursue it in the way that works best for your life situation.

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05-25-2016 07:50 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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RE: I need help with school

I really don't agree that people have different learning styles. I think we go through periodic phases and interests and forcing ourselves to shift gears from one topic to another is unnatural and clunky. some stuff needs to be in the form of a lecture, but turning yourself off to digest that is hard to do, especially if you are constantly asked to do it.

I think constantly about all sorts of stuff, but I know its beneficial for me to shut it off and listen to some lectures from one of my religious teachers, but I just can't bear to do it all the time. I have to be in the mood and then I get a lot out of it.

I think the real trick is to actually spend our time on something we've decided to. My question, oh musicandfruits1092, is what do you do when all work is finished? If you have no hobbies or interests then I would be worried, but most people have at least an interest they would like to pursue but sometimes lack the motivation or time to try. The great thing about extracurriculars outside of school is that if you fail, all you've done is learn something about yourself and move on from there. Nobody is going to give you an F if you decide your going to be a skateboarder and you land on your knees one time too many. Just say its not for you and move on, or maybe buy some knee pads...

There really is a great big world outside of school.

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05-29-2016 07:22 AM
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Post: #10
I need help with school

School really isn't the best place for many of us to learn. I didn't learn well in school at all, and eventually persuaded my parents to let me drop out. I've learned far more outside of school than I ever did in it, and despite what's often said, conventional school isn't the only path to success in life.

It may help to research the many criticisms of conventional schooling and where it came from, as well as the alternatives like unschooling. Even if you're stuck in school for now, knowing that it's the system that is the problem and not you can go a long way!

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05-29-2016 10:05 AM
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Post: #11
I need help with school

You should drop out
06-01-2016 07:39 AM
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