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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

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Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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Nagging gone wrong
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #1
Nagging gone wrong

Found this on Facebook.

Quote:You guys, I did it right. I swear. Every single day. At first, I did the actual brushing of the children's teeth. I stood over the sink and brushed their little teeth for years.

Then, and I promise you I did this every.single.day, I told them to brush. Every morning. Every night. "Did you brush your teeth?" "Let me check your teeth." "Finished brushing?" "Brush your teeth before you leave!"

Every single day. All the days of their lives. I enforced teeth brushing like it was my job. I kept a whole drawer of new toothbrushes. Bought floss picks. Modeled good dental hygiene. Twice a year to the dentist. I DID THIS. I did this like a boss. I was a Mom Who Cared About Teeth Brushing. I raised up the children in the way they should go.

So I cannot - for the ever loving life of me - figure out why my middle school boys do not brush their teeth unless ordered to. I am here to tell you: they would go one month without brushing without intervention. Their teeth would turn brown and fall right out of their mouth holes before they even noticed.

THIS IS NOT ON ME. They can take their own teeth failure to the grave. I've done all I can do for these people.

Cuckoo

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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12-04-2015 02:39 AM
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DreamRebel Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Nagging gone wrong

I can't stand it. When a parent nags a kid, these things can and mostly will occur- 1) the kid gets a feeling that their parent doesn't think that they're competent, which is normally true, & 2) the kid end up being classically conditioned to associate the nagging with whatever they are being nagged to do, becoming reluctant to do it and even developing an idea that not doing what they are nagged to do is a sort of punishment to the parent. 3) Because the kid doesn't want to do it, the parent bags more, not realizing/caring that they started a vicious cycle.
(This post was last modified: 12-04-2015 01:21 PM by DreamRebel.)
12-04-2015 01:20 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Nagging gone wrong

Ma gawd why is my kids freeloading? They in middle scholl but I still haz to pay for all their expenses? Jeez Im tired of them brats.

The ladies statement is absurdly illogical. Plus the issue probably is that she demanded her kids brush rather than incentivize them to brush themselves. When you demand ppl to do stuff without much explanation, and flip out when they dont do it, it doesnt really help. Moreso for kids who havent really matured intellectually yet to really grasp the longterm implications.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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12-04-2015 03:19 PM
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no Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Nagging gone wrong

I wonder if she ever explained why it's a good idea to brush your teeth.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
12-05-2015 12:41 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
Nagging gone wrong

I wonder if she really knows why it's a good idea to brush your teeth.

Most just memorize whatever crap is told to them without understanding it themselves.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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12-05-2015 01:46 AM
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no Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Nagging gone wrong

Not brushing your teeth is a sin, and you will burn in hell for it. Obviously.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
12-05-2015 02:08 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #7
RE: Nagging gone wrong

(12-05-2015 02:08 AM)no Wrote:  Not brushing your teeth is a sin, and you will burn in hell for it. Obviously.

And Jesus said "Brush thy teeth for the lord hath commanded" and he thusly guided his flock by providing a paste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists: Crest ProWhite

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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12-05-2015 12:18 PM
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