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Terrible Parents (draft)
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #1
Terrible Parents (draft)

Something I just wrote. Not sure what I'm going to do with it... but I kind of want to do something with it...

Feedback is welcome.

Quote:The worst parents are not the physically abusive ones... because those are obviously bad. Anyone with half a brain will take your side if they know what's going on... No, the worst parents are the ones that seem okay to most people, while they gradually eat away at your self-worth... A small insult here, a bit of condescension there, the frequent frowning face of disapproval... Each incident, on its own, doesn't seem so bad... nothing to worry about. Perhaps even perfectly normal. Just like a frog will think the temperature of the water around it is still normal, if it rises gradually enough... "small" things add up.

You may be the only person who ever notices these "small" things. Everyone else gets to see their happy face. Best foot forward, and all that. Nobody would imagine there might be a problem...

You might even like your parents well enough most of the time, perhaps even love them. You long for their approval, some way to truly feel that they love you in return, regardless of how often they may or may not say it... Maybe they're just not good at showing it, after all... But there is a difference between being bad at showing something and being good at showing the complete opposite on a regular basis... the frequent frowning face of disapproval is not evidence of love. Neither are insults, or condescension.

Oh, but parents are stressed and don't have a lot of time, and they slip up... being a parent is tough these days, people say. Sure... how easy do you think it is to be a child who feels unloved by their own parents? With nobody to turn to to talk about it? Nobody who even believes something is wrong in the first place?

At some point we need to stop making excuses for terrible parents and accepting this kind of behaviour as 'normal'. Because the ones that seem okay are the truly terrible parents.

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"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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09-17-2015 11:06 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #2
Terrible Parents (draft)

When my mother came back from Turkey and I picked her up, practically her first comment was on my weight.

I was like...*Facepalm*. Luckily I no longer give a shit and she pretty much knows it so her criticisms are less frequent(and totally ineffective). Then again my mother is to some extent somebody who grew up uneducated and is thus very conservative(in the Turkish way which is actually an odd mixture of traditional and liberal), and very impatient when dealing with problems(also gets easily stressed).

Unfortunately I'm the one tasked with cleaning up after both parents flaws seeing as they both behave like little kids at times...

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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09-17-2015 11:38 AM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Terrible Parents (draft)

Exactly Soulriser, every last word is how you would describe my parents.
1. People think they are great but their hearts are terrible especially behind closed doors.

2. I am fully aware just how terrible they are, but most people see them as good

3. I dislike them most of the time, but tolerate them but I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to earn their approval, I know they don't love me and never will. (Don't anyone tell me that they do, if you think love hurts than love is evil and love is a bully to you, so why tolerate it, you should say no to it if you think love has a dark side, but wait that means you would go for hatred which is hypocritical, unless hatred is kindness)

4. There's always a frown of disapproval, like that evil look that I can't describe

5. It's not easy being unloved (Again don't tell me that they do love me, love is not selfish or painful, so stop teaching that it is, don't lie to make people feel better, the last thing you want to do is offer false hope)

6. I have nobody to turn to, nobody would understand and possibly nobody would want to understand

7. Just like we need to stop saying that people who treat you horribly really do love you, we do need to stop defending their behavior. People see nothing is wrong, people are blind, people don't want to question.
(This post was last modified: 09-17-2015 11:54 AM by Cianna200.)
09-17-2015 11:50 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #4
Terrible Parents (draft)

I wouldn't say these are the worst kinds of parents. Far from it.

But they are the hardest to deal with, because you don't exactly have many options aside from returning casual conversational fire.

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09-17-2015 12:52 PM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Terrible Parents (draft)

Although the extremely toxic kind threatens harm if we try to reason with them.
09-17-2015 12:56 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #6
Terrible Parents (draft)

Quote:I wouldn't say these are the worst kinds of parents. Far from it.
What would you say is worse?

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"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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09-19-2015 04:47 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Terrible Parents (draft)

The overtly abusive parents are clearly the worst ones; Leaving emotional scars as a result of negligence is bad, sure, but leaving physical scars through obvious means is worse.

Thing is, that also makes them easier - though in some cases, still not at all easy - for strangers to identify.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
09-19-2015 10:16 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #8
Terrible Parents (draft)

Precisely my point... which is why I'm saying that the more "subtle" ones are actually worse... much more common, and yet much more "accepted". They're doing more damage to humanity as a whole.

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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09-21-2015 03:54 AM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Terrible Parents (draft)

I believe physical scars are not as terrible as emotional scars which can last a lifetime, I still am haunted by the events of my elementary school.
09-21-2015 05:51 AM
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schoolsux Offline
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Post: #10
Terrible Parents (draft)

Middle school has destroyed me.

schoolsux's countdown until school ends:

177 days until i get out of freshman year (aka hell)
1280 days until I get out of prison (aka school)

(as of november 28, 2016)

also Fu school

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09-24-2015 08:32 AM
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