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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil
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MurkScribe Away
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Post: #1
Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

I am going to be one of those cynical people on the forum, and that person. But Let's face the system is never going to change. I do somewhat agree with wesammy at this point, we get into radical politics at least some of us for ourselves, recognizing the wrongness of school as a part of a larger and an actual true deep impactful learning and emotional experience, something democratic free schools can only provide due to the power and control over the students and the large amounts of freedom a student has. Without the coercion, the truancy officer, the carrots and sticks. But at this point and my own time in life, I am reclusive and very anti-social within myself, afraid to honestly leave my home at times and get very antsy and anxious when I see people from my school. I find that people tell me that I am to direct or ask such "philosophical" questions. There is no hope or chance my parents will ever change within their own hearts about unschooling or getting a job and etc. Me asking this questions tackles on their very own cultural and schooling history. They spent so many hours studying and cramming thinking that there is absolutely no way to live or get a job. So they put themselves on this treadmill with the carrot always dangling and moving unto them, that once they get to the end of the rainbow and put up with all of this they will live to the fullest extent. But Here they are now a ruined relationship, and neglected dysfunctional family.

MurkScribe's Mental Health Status:
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07-29-2015 12:57 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #2
Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

The system always changes.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-29-2015 02:12 PM
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Sharpie Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

You should do some drugs, it really takes the edge off things and forces you to not give a fuck.
07-29-2015 04:15 PM
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schoolsux Offline
fuck this school bullshit

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Post: #4
RE: Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

(07-29-2015 04:15 PM)Sharpie Wrote:  You should do some drugs, it really takes the edge off things and forces you to not give a fuck.

in many cases they are dangerous. but a little weed or some beer wouldn't kill you.

schoolsux's countdown until school ends:

177 days until i get out of freshman year (aka hell)
1280 days until I get out of prison (aka school)

(as of november 28, 2016)

also Fu school

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07-30-2015 12:27 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

(07-30-2015 12:27 PM)SchoolSux Wrote:  
(07-29-2015 04:15 PM)Sharpie Wrote:  You should do some drugs, it really takes the edge off things and forces you to not give a fuck.

in many cases they are dangerous. but a little weed or some beer wouldn't kill you.

No weed and no beer probably won't kill you. I like them odds.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
07-30-2015 12:41 PM
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isolatedsystem Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

School system on my country have been changing so far... But not in a way that we would like it to be.

I'm back! kinda
(This post was last modified: 08-03-2015 09:13 AM by isolatedsystem.)
08-03-2015 09:12 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

(07-29-2015 12:57 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  I am going to be one of those cynical people on the forum, and that person. But Let's face the system is never going to change. I do somewhat agree with wesammy at this point

One question: why do you feel/think that way?

And my take: "the system" in the broadest sense IS changing -- at least some people are opting out and innovating. Some number of teachers and administrators are starting to see the problems with factory-model schooling in the 21st century.

In terms of most mainstream public (and many private) schools, it's true that change isn't going to come quickly. The option is to find a way to opt out if possible. Work to learn about and create alternatives, learn how to have more effective conversations about these topics, and simply do what's possible to take charge of your own learning and life to the extent you can.

But even if change in many schools takes a long time -- that doesn't mean it'll never happen. Also, some people do seem to like school-as-usual. It'll surely evolve and change, but if going to grid-structured classes to learn works for some people, that's fine. I think the key is creating more options and spreading the word.

(07-29-2015 12:57 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  we get into radical politics at least some of us for ourselves, recognizing the wrongness of school as a part of a larger and an actual true deep impactful learning and emotional experience, something democratic free schools can only provide due to the power and control over the students and the large amounts of freedom a student has. Without the coercion, the truancy officer, the carrots and sticks.

Right. There's a problem, and there are better ways to do things.

(07-29-2015 12:57 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  But at this point and my own time in life, I am reclusive and very anti-social within myself, afraid to honestly leave my home at times and get very antsy and anxious when I see people from my school.

So... that's a different issue than whether or not "the system" can change.

Questions:

Do you know why you're afraid to leave your home? Do you have some desire to, but feel conflicted about it?

Why do you feel antsy and anxious when you see people from school?

Are you interested in meeting new people who likely agree with you about school, like homeschoolers, unschoolers, etc? Maybe that'd be a better experience than meeting people from your school.


(07-29-2015 12:57 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  I find that people tell me that I am to direct or ask such "philosophical" questions.

Is that missing a word? (Like people are saying you're wrong to ask philosophical questions?)

(07-29-2015 12:57 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  There is no hope or chance my parents will ever change within their own hearts bout unschooling or getting a job and etc. Me asking this questions tackles on their very own cultural and schooling history. They spent so many hours studying and cramming thinking that there is absolutely no way to live or get a job. So they put themselves on this treadmill with the carrot always dangling and moving unto them, that once they get to the end of the rainbow and put up with all of this they will live to the fullest extent. But Here they are now a ruined relationship, and neglected dysfunctional family.

I don't share your level of pessimism regarding your family... especially your dad. He may be conflicted (and obviously is), but he did talk to Lisa and I, and I think there's a lot more we can do to win him over.

There's absolutely a chance they'll change their mind... and regardless, is it still the case that you'll be able to leave school in a few months? Why not focus on what you'll do with your freedom, and discuss that with your parents?

There are all kinds of ways to live and find jobs... you can learn more about the possibilities yourself, and also discuss it with them.

In short / TLDR: It's understandable that you feel depressed and hopeless, but that doesn't mean the reality is as bleak as it may feel. It's worth distinguishing between your feelings and thinking about what's possible in your life, and in society in general.

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

ASDE Newsletters: #1 Announcement | #2 History of ASDE | #6 Education Liberation


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(This post was last modified: 08-03-2015 11:30 AM by xcriteria.)
08-03-2015 11:26 AM
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Will Offline
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Post: #8
Time for my Rant and emotional turmoil

Systemic changes in the school take too long to enough to have a noticeable impact on you while you're in school. But life does get much less horrible after your metaphorical prison sentence ends, at least if you plan for it.

I did an easy course in university and have done easy work since. I was kind of mentally ready for this sort of thing by high school. I know other people who discovered laziness only after having gone to law school and worked in law firms for too many years. These are some long-term effects of school that might affect you less than they affect most people.
08-05-2015 11:45 PM
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