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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something
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Ky Offline
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Post: #1
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Recently, I had a thought that wasn't conceived in a fit of abject despondency.

That thought was that my depression isn't actually standing in the way of me living my life... it's just blinded me to the possibilities and made it more difficult for me to realize what I actually want. Difficult, but not impossible, and that's why I'm starting to challenge the negativity in my mind.

I might live my life in a rut right now, but that doesn't mean I can't change. In fact, I most certainly can, and should, because at this point, what more do I have to lose? I've often said that I'm tired of fettering myself with inaction, but this time, I thought I'd list some alternatives for myself so that I'd actually know what to do if I were to break out of my lethargic gloom.

So I cobbled together this little list of things I'd really like to do:

#1. Get a driver's license. Once I have that, I can just roam around at my leisure - unrestricted freedom. Aside from paying for gas, that is.
#2. Join a gym. I need to bulk up, get fit, and be a part of an atmosphere that motivates me to actually do it. Or better yet, teaches me how.
#3. Learn to sing well. I should also consider piano lessons from teachers who actually know what they're doing. Music makes life worthwhile, after all.
#4. Get a therapist, or better yet, be my own therapist. I'm sure I could find some decent self-help books if I were to start looking for them.
#5. Seek some form of employment that doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day (like I am now). Nearby restaurants are hiring, and I could use the money...
#6. Go to church. I used to find it boring, but I keep getting the urge to tell people that God loves them. Plus, I should be more spiritual.
#7. Get involved with political activism. Politics really does affect people's lives on a day-to-day basis; it's important that I take a stand somehow.
#8: Do volunteer work. No matter how down I may feel, there's something uplifting about trying to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate.
#9. Go on trips. As long as someone else is paying, mind. I could use more time away from home, and seeing the world would make me more experienced.
#10. Make a list of things I'd like to... oh. Mission accomplished, I guess. Still, I should come up with more ideas!

I then added a blank #11. space and saved it as a text document for me to add to later. Perhaps, by showing myself that I do have things to live for, aspirations to strive towards, and goals to accomplish, I can finally get out there and actually do something!

To make this more of a psychology-related discussion, I must ask: Is there anything you'd like to do, but haven't because you haven't really thought about it that much? (Or just haven't gotten around to acting on it?)

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07-22-2015 04:35 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #2
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

That's really good to hear. I'll write more later, but that made me happy to read. Smile

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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #3
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Self-therapy isn't exactly easy for everybody, or many-body. There are multiple biases to overcome just to get started. Lots of people have a very hard time introspectively analyzing themselves without lying to themselves in some way. Or omitting stuff.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-23-2015 09:46 AM
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Ky Offline
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Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Considering how long I've been living with depression, I sure as hell don't expect it to be easy. Still, I'm determined to find a way.

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07-23-2015 09:51 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #5
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Quote:Lots of people have a very hard time introspectively analyzing themselves without lying to themselves in some way. Or omitting stuff.
I can attest to this. Razz

Still, it's worth the effort anyway. Eventually you'll see through your own bullshit... or maybe someone will point it out. Poop

The time will pass anyway, might as well do something constructive with it...

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xcriteria Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Here's my longer reply... in two parts. One is a response your your list, and the second will be a response to your question for others.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #1. Get a driver's license. Once I have that, I can just roam around at my leisure - unrestricted freedom. Aside from paying for gas, that is.

That sounds good. I'd add two possibilities to that:

(1) Driving is just one way to get around in many cases. If you have access to any public transportation, like buses, that's a way to get around. In some cases walking (even if the distances are pretty long), and bicycling, can be useful as well. I've found wandering around on foot -- going for long walks -- to be a great way to see new things, get some light exercise, and just have an opportunity to think in a new context.

(2) For longer distances, like visiting other cities, buses and even flights are a way to get around. These cost money, of course, but so does gas... and seeing places further away can be quite interesting. I've gone on a few short/medium-range trips recently to go to conferences, and it was a reminder of how wonderful it can be to visit new places. And I've felt the same way by taking trips at various points in my life. That's just my experience, but something to consider.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #2. Join a gym. I need to bulk up, get fit, and be a part of an atmosphere that motivates me to actually do it. Or better yet, teaches me how.

Exercise can help a lot, mentally and physically, and a gym is one way to get that. Definitely go for it. At the same time, it's worth noting that you can also do exercise at home, or by going for walks, or volunteering or getting gigs where physical exertion is involved.

I've personally always found it difficult to just exercise for its own sake, but when I'm doing a task that involves exercise in addition to serving some other purpose (like a job, or helping people out, or just going for a walk), the benefits of exercise come along with it.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #3. Learn to sing well. I should also consider piano lessons from teachers who actually know what they're doing. Music makes life worthwhile, after all.

Sounds good. Working with a teacher or coach is one way to pursue those things... just practicing and experimenting can help too, and there are also lots of videos, articles, etc. that can help with learning musical skills.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #4. Get a therapist, or better yet, be my own therapist. I'm sure I could find some decent self-help books if I were to start looking for them.

I'd advise doing all of the above, as well as just making the most of your network of friends and allies. It doesn't hurt to at least begin contacting professional therapists; many will at least talk to you to figure out if you might be a good fit. Seeing one or more traditionally-credentialed therapists could give you a sense of what it's like.

Being your own therapist, and exploring books, articles, and videos about psychology and self-help, can also help a lot... especially when you reflect on them and discuss what you find with others. Brainpickings.org and Lifehacker.com are two sites with many related articles... On YouTube, Kati Morton's videos are worth checking out, as well as Jonathan Fields' videos and Good Life Project interviews, and there's a lot more out there as well.

Making the most of community, friends, and allies can also help a lot. If you want to join Facebook, quite a few of us from School Survival are there, and I can introduce you to a number of groups you mind find interesting, especially relating to education beyond traditional approaches.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #5. Seek some form of employment that doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day (like I am now). Nearby restaurants are hiring, and I could use the money...

Definitely, go for it! You might also find short-term gigs of various kinds.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #6. Go to church. I used to find it boring, but I keep getting the urge to tell people that God loves them. Plus, I should be more spiritual.

You might well check that out. Maybe even visit multiple churches and see what they're like. Of course, church isn't the only way to be more spiritual... and there's a lot more to spirituality and religion than the institutional forms of it. Smile

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #7. Get involved with political activism. Politics really does affect people's lives on a day-to-day basis; it's important that I take a stand somehow.

Yeah, go for it. Any ideas of how you might do that?

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #8: Do volunteer work. No matter how down I may feel, there's something uplifting about trying to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate.

Definitely... any ideas of what you might like to volunteer with?

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #9. Go on trips. As long as someone else is paying, mind. I could use more time away from home, and seeing the world would make me more experienced.

Definitely. Trips can really open up your sense of what life can be like beyond being at home or in your local area. On a related note, I've been thinking a lot about how to arrange some meetups related to School Survival and Catalyst; maybe you could go to one. There are also various conferences that might be worth attending. Figuring out how to pay for trips like that is a challenge, but you can either figure out how to pay for them yourself (like with a job), or find a way to get help paying for them.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  #10. Make a list of things I'd like to... oh. Mission accomplished, I guess. Still, I should come up with more ideas!

Yeah, this list is a good start! And you can always expand on it.

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  I then added a blank #11. space and saved it as a text document for me to add to later. Perhaps, by showing myself that I do have things to live for, aspirations to strive towards, and goals to accomplish, I can finally get out there and actually do something!

Smile

I'll answer your closing question in another reply. It's really good to see a list like this, and maybe it can help others think about what they might do as well.

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07-23-2015 12:04 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #7
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-22-2015 04:35 PM)DoA Wrote:  To make this more of a psychology-related discussion, I must ask: Is there anything you'd like to do, but haven't because you haven't really thought about it that much? (Or just haven't gotten around to acting on it?)

Yes, definitely. Actually, I've done a few things lately that I've been meaning to do, and wanting to do, but haven't in quite a while. In particular, I went to the AERO (Alternative Education Resource Organization) 2015 conference, which was really worth it, despite a somewhat lengthy commute by train/bus, getting up super-early, and paying to attend. I also went to Steve Hargadon's Hacking Education event the day before the ITSE ed-tech conference in Philadelphia... a several hour bus ride away, and I was a bit out of my element at an event mostly attended by teachers and other school staff, but it was interesting to see a new city and have a new experience in general.

As for things I'd like to do, but haven't, one of the biggest things I've been wanting to do for ages is produce video/film related to changing education. I'll post more on that soon.

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07-23-2015 12:11 PM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #8
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Well, as of tomorrow, I'll be out accomplishing #9, and I won't see you guys until August. Cheers!

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07-24-2015 08:50 AM
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djdkkkk Offline
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Post: #9
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

God is not real.
07-24-2015 10:00 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-24-2015 10:00 AM)Zvesda Wrote:  God is not real.

[Image: party-poppers-suicide-bomber-troll-terro...gif?id=273]

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Quote:(1) Driving is just one way to get around in many cases. If you have access to any public transportation, like buses, that's a way to get around. In some cases walking (even if the distances are pretty long), and bicycling, can be useful as well. I've found wandering around on foot -- going for long walks -- to be a great way to see new things, get some light exercise, and just have an opportunity to think in a new context.

(2) For longer distances, like visiting other cities, buses and even flights are a way to get around. These cost money, of course, but so does gas... and seeing places further away can be quite interesting. I've gone on a few short/medium-range trips recently to go to conferences, and it was a reminder of how wonderful it can be to visit new places. And I've felt the same way by taking trips at various points in my life. That's just my experience, but something to consider.
-Cars are one of the world's greatest tools of freedom, and one of the world's most worthless investments.

Quote:Exercise can help a lot, mentally and physically, and a gym is one way to get that. Definitely go for it. At the same time, it's worth noting that you can also do exercise at home, or by going for walks, or volunteering or getting gigs where physical exertion is involved.

I've personally always found it difficult to just exercise for its own sake, but when I'm doing a task that involves exercise in addition to serving some other purpose (like a job, or helping people out, or just going for a walk), the benefits of exercise come along with it.
-You should learn to enjoy the masochistic pleasure of painful exercise.

Quote:Sounds good. Working with a teacher or coach is one way to pursue those things... just practicing and experimenting can help too, and there are also lots of videos, articles, etc. that can help with learning musical skills.
-I think he could learn just as well singing in the shower.


Quote:I'd advise doing all of the above, as well as just making the most of your network of friends and allies. It doesn't hurt to at least begin contacting professional therapists; many will at least talk to you to figure out if you might be a good fit. Seeing one or more traditionally-credentialed therapists could give you a sense of what it's like.

Being your own therapist, and exploring books, articles, and videos about psychology and self-help, can also help a lot... especially when you reflect on them and discuss what you find with others. Brainpickings.org and Lifehacker.com are two sites with many related articles... On YouTube, Kati Morton's videos are worth checking out, as well as Jonathan Fields' videos and Good Life Project interviews, and there's a lot more out there as well.

Making the most of community, friends, and allies can also help a lot. If you want to join Facebook, quite a few of us from School Survival are there, and I can introduce you to a number of groups you mind find interesting, especially relating to education beyond traditional approaches.
-Easiest way is to detach your humanity and mechanically analyze. Dangerous side is potential of being unable to reboot your "humanity" program.

Quote:Definitely, go for it! You might also find short-term gigs of various kinds.
-Dishwashing

Quote:You might well check that out. Maybe even visit multiple churches and see what they're like. Of course, church isn't the only way to be more spiritual... and there's a lot more to spirituality and religion than the institutional forms of it. Smile
-Good thing mosques are so much easier. Even with the "sect" and "school" issues, every mosque will be familiar to all.

Quote:Yeah, go for it. Any ideas of how you might do that?
-He could take it easy and work with some local stuff.

Quote:Definitely... any ideas of what you might like to volunteer with?
-I hate volunteering. Others enjoy it though. Agreeable.

Quote:Definitely. Trips can really open up your sense of what life can be like beyond being at home or in your local area. On a related note, I've been thinking a lot about how to arrange some meetups related to School Survival and Catalyst; maybe you could go to one. There are also various conferences that might be worth attending. Figuring out how to pay for trips like that is a challenge, but you can either figure out how to pay for them yourself (like with a job), or find a way to get help paying for them.
-Buy cheapest bus ticket heading west. End up in a state that allows hitchhiking. Proceed to hitchhike. It's practically free.

Quote:Yeah, this list is a good start! And you can always expand on it.
-He missed number zero.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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schoolsux Offline
fuck this school bullshit

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Post: #12
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-24-2015 10:00 AM)Zvesda Wrote:  God is not real.

indeed

schoolsux's countdown until school ends:

177 days until i get out of freshman year (aka hell)
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(as of november 28, 2016)

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Ky Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-24-2015 10:00 AM)Zvesda Wrote:  God is not real.
(07-24-2015 10:25 PM)SchoolSux Wrote:  indeed
Thank you very much for your insightful input, guys. I am, quite frankly, astounded that this assertion had never occurred to me before. Why, I am positively enlightened now that you've informed me of this.

With that bit of sarcasm out of the way, see you guys the week after next!

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Cianna200 Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

You can't know for sure.
07-25-2015 12:06 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-24-2015 10:25 PM)SchoolSux Wrote:  
(07-24-2015 10:00 AM)Zvesda Wrote:  God is not real.

indeed

Agree to disagree...

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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Phynex Offline
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Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

EVEN IF god isn't real, there has to be some rational explanation for the ultra complex structure of life and no one can argue against that.
07-27-2015 11:21 PM
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Sharpie Offline
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-27-2015 11:21 PM)Phynex Wrote:  EVEN IF god isn't real, there has to be some rational explanation for the ultra complex structure of life and no one can argue against that.

luck. there ya go.
07-29-2015 09:12 AM
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RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(07-27-2015 11:21 PM)Phynex Wrote:  EVEN IF god isn't real, there has to be some rational explanation for the ultra complex structure of life and no one can argue against that.

Evolution. There was a primal egg billions of years ago that held all matter. It exploded, making everything. Alll the atoms, all the stars, all the space dust.

Then, about ten billion years ago, the Earth was formed. About 6 billion, the first bacteria showed up on Earth, in the form of Amoeba. The first spineless animals came to be about 1 billion years ago, and the first of the dinosaurs came to be 650 million years ago.

We evolved from primates, which came from mutated dinosaur DNA. How, I'm not exactly sure. This isn't The Sound of Thunder, where you could go back in time and watch evolution.

The first known humans came to be about 10 million years ago.

And, NO! I didn't learn this in school. School never taught me anything that in-depth.[/i]

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07-29-2015 01:56 PM
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Ky Offline
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Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Riiight...

I added a number 11 before I left: Learn a martial art. Self-discipline and self-control could be handy life tools.

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08-03-2015 11:18 AM
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Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

I wanna get into a martial art but I don't want something that's all self-defensey. I want something that clearly indicates usage for causing pain, and training involves feeling pain via sparring n stuff.

I'll still look around...

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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Post: #21
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(08-03-2015 11:42 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  I wanna get into a martial art but I don't want something that's all self-defensey. I want something that clearly indicates usage for causing pain, and training involves feeling pain via sparring n stuff.

I'll still look around...
What you're looking for isn't an art, then - what you're looking to have (or become) is a weapon.

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08-03-2015 12:30 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(08-03-2015 12:30 PM)DoA Wrote:  
(08-03-2015 11:42 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  I wanna get into a martial art but I don't want something that's all self-defensey. I want something that clearly indicates usage for causing pain, and training involves feeling pain via sparring n stuff.

I'll still look around...
What you're looking for isn't an art, then - what you're looking to have (or become) is a weapon.

I did the art part for 3 years. Now I just want to hurt and get hurt.

Used to fulfill that desire by wrestling(not like the sport. Plain old grappling since we weren't going to punch and kick each other) with friends. Sometimes plain old mano y mano y mano y mano is fun(don't know how many of you have tried free for all "wrestling". Pretty fun. Loser has to tap out when they can't take any more).

But I don't want to do boxing cause boxing is boring. I'd probably benefit from looking around for MMA since it makes the most sense, but I don't know if there's any place near me.

Or I could go to Japan to that martial art school that involves a final test where you have to take on 100 others(1 per round) with no break for as long as possible(supposedly the master who started it was the only one who managed to beat 100).

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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08-03-2015 01:05 PM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #23
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

If you find boxing boring, perhaps you could take up, say, judo instead.

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08-03-2015 01:09 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

MMA might be best. Comes with strikes as well as grapple. Or Krav Maga, which I hear also involves strikes y grapples.

Course realistically my choices are limited by whats actually available to me within an acceptable amount of travel.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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08-03-2015 01:43 PM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

#11 ditch the fedora

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08-03-2015 02:24 PM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

(08-03-2015 02:24 PM)Weswammy Wrote:  #11 ditch the fedora
No.

I have a white-and-black striped one now, in fact. I like it even better than my old one.

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08-03-2015 02:54 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #27
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

Quote:I wanna get into a martial art but I don't want something that's all self-defensey. I want something that clearly indicates usage for causing pain, and training involves feeling pain via sparring n stuff.

I'll still look around...
I'm doing Bujinkan. It's a combination of a bunch of different schools of ninjutsu, and borrows whatever works from pretty much anywhere else as well. It's not a sport, it's about how to destroy someone as efficiently as possible. It can also be used for self defense... but there's plenty of pain to be had, if that's your thing.

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08-04-2015 03:57 AM
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thesupremeanarchist Offline
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Post: #28
Getting Out There And Actually Doing Something

How about:

#11. Hack people's Facebook accounts while listening to Deicide's Fuck Your God and Crucifyre's Hail Satan.

Or, how about smoke some weed? Just sayin'...

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08-04-2015 01:17 PM
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