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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser


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Path of Brainlightenment
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #1
Path of Brainlightenment

Another long-awaited update on monsieur brainiac and his life of chaotic flux that'd make a quantum scientist scratch his head.
  • Firstly, I'm back at the rug place I used to work at last year. This time however, my job is mostly "clerical/computer" based. I call myself "project supervisor" which basically really means I take care of tasks like updating online marketplace inventories(since we sell on sites like Amazon, Overstock, Wayfair, Home Depot, etc.). I also work on photoshopping rugs to the proper requirements to upload to these sites(along with preparing most of the templates to upload the items). I assist in solving any issues that arise(mostly Amazon. I guess their big technical reliance can tend to get haywire at certain things). Don't deal with customer service, sale of rugs with street customers(physical stores we ship to wholesale), and basically all the stuff I used to do(though it's expected for me to lend a hand when necessary, though boss made it clear it's never to be my main duty). I also do online research to determine ways to improve sales, cut costs, and find more marketplaces.

  • College is going fine. Last semester ended higher than the last two. I fortunately made it above 3.0 since I was actually on 2.95. Hopefully next semester will be better and I'll pump it up higher since I've got some ambitious plans. I switched to Poli Sci, and added econ & public policy. I've also clarified my future goals(ambitiously aiming for working for Dept of Defense, dream of becoming sec of def, if not I can run for Congress or Governor, if not those either obviously business owner). I also might take a dip into legal work, intern for what little time I might have to spare at some free legal service place for low-income people. I might attend law school assuming I pass the LSAT or whatever(legal knowledge has it's advantages). Course that means I'd basically attend graduate-level education twice(since I intend to get graduate-level education in poli sci. Specifically something in strategic studies & foreign affairs)

  • I haven't been able to dedicate as much time to my business as I'd like. I still need to get the MC number(basically authority to carry cargo). I'm probably gonna utilize an accounting service with experience in applications and forms for trucking companies. God knows I'm gonna need it considering the weird way my father has been handling the finances(typical though I've got it under control to an extent). Hopefully when it starts bringing in some cash, I can leave my current job(which I'll probably be doing when college starts because it can be done remotely out of office). It'll free up a decent amount of my time that way since I'll no longer have responsibility to a boss, and my primary duty for the trucking will basically be finding cargo(dispatching) and handling administrative/financial duties.

  • Thanks to that tango class and some other socially-positive developments stemming from a boost in self-confidence(my confidence has unevenly developed. In some cases it's like arrogant, in others I'm too humble. Social "skills" has never been really high on my priorities of improvements till recent but it's improved to the extent that when I returned to the rug place and met the people I knew from last year, they stated that they noticed I was more "open"). I guess solving my other issues has given me time to focus on social stuff. I'd probably benefit from losing weight though(not that I really give a shit about others opinions but a visit to the doctor's office made it clear that this excess weight is like a ticking time bomb for my health if I don't cut it down. I've already got questionable health regarding blood pressure, my thyroids, and possible development of sleep apnea. Fuck that shit I'm not hooking up to a machine to sleep, or scheduling a dozen different pills with varying side effects)

  • Picked up on drawing stuff again. Some decent weapon and military vehicle designs I've come up with. Not very professional but they give the general idea. I also began waterpainting. Not very bad at it though I probably should have planned out a bit. My reading had decreased(books and paper, I still read online/electronic) but I've decided to increase it a bit more and read some of the books and documents I had laying around intending to read em.

Welp. That's all.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
06-24-2015 04:07 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #2
RE: Path of Brainlightenment

Turns out Im not just a stoic, but Im a Stoic (capital S signifies the fact that my personality is strongly adherent to the philospphy itself.)

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
07-19-2015 06:04 PM
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