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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas
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MurkScribe Away
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Post: #1
My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

I don't want to oversimplify it, but for the sake of convenience at this point.

* I tell dad I don't want to go to school anymore

* he asks why, I tell him that there's no point in going to school anymore

*He tells me that everyone is nice there and encouraging so how can you hate school?

*I'm gonna have to use some force to send you to school, through threats of the police.

* He goes on to tell me my ideas are garbage and delusional.

* I tell him that I want to find happiness for myself

* I tell him pursuing higher education for a larger lifetime earning won't account for anything, because my time will be wasted if my eye on the prize is on the pot of gold and that I would rather go to college for better meaningful learning experience

* I go on to tell him that there are way's to make a good living without credentials of a high school diploma.

*Average lifetime earnings are averaged with male and female, and for some strange reason females get payed less for the same amount of work. So Asian Males that drop out of high school which is a minority in a already minority group of people that drop out of high school. So overall a lifetime earning of over a million dollars without going to high school, which is certainly more than enough to keep me going, so why pursue higher education if I'm only going to be treated, packaged, and sold by employers and companies?

* He say's that I wasnt allowed to shove my ideas down my throat, and I tell him that you're absolutley hypocritical, since there's a whole law enforcement and the police to keep me going to school, the purpose of compulsory education and attendance is to "Student absenteeism can lead to low academic achievement, school dropout, delinquency and gang involvement. School districts that have established multi-systemic approaches and policies pertaining to student absenteeism typically experience fewer numbers of dropouts and a greater number of graduates."

I'm sorry but I'm supposed to believe forceful student attendence=less crime?

Is there some kind of presumption behind the whole entire saying that school is good and makes a person not horrible, when infact the whole entire public school system itself gives virtually less rights than an adult and labels and control them? So I guess I'm not allowed to challenge that assumption huh?

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05-08-2015 09:48 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #2
My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

I'll paste my reply from Dialogue here:

It may not seem like it... but I think you're making progress. Outlining the situation like that shows it.

Here's what I think:

(1) Continue explaining that you don't want to go to school, and work on helping him understand why. If he's asking why, and he has the idea that school is some nice place for you, obviously there's a disconnect with the reality you experience. Keep trying to help him see that.

(2) Regarding threats and force: tell him that in the end, it's up to the parents. There's no reason for him to use the police. You may give him a hard time, and desperately want him to change his mind... but you've been attending so far. So he doesn't need to keep talking about police.

(3) Emphasize that school is taking a toll on your mental health. Depression and mental health are serious issues... if you end up in bad psychological shape, you may have trouble even doing a basic survival job. But, you can improve your mental well-being by not being stuck in a barren, tedious, hostile environment, and by developing your interests and pursuing real learning.

(4) If you have some kind of health insurance that would cover a therapist, maybe we can find a therapist in the area that would be sympathetic to leaving school. They could help explain things to your dad. I can do this, too, but maybe ask about seeing a therapist. Regardless, emphasize that unlike what he seems to believe, you're deeply unhappy with your current school (as well as the previous one), and that there are other options.

(5) I think you're getting better at questioning things and challenging the assumptions of school. Have you brought up college without high school, and Catalyst? Even if you may not want to continue through college, helping him know it's an option, and that you're willing to at least try it, might help win him over. You can even try college classes, through MOOCs, online, for free, with no commitment.... does he know about that?

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(This post was last modified: 05-08-2015 11:25 PM by xcriteria.)
05-08-2015 11:24 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

(05-08-2015 09:48 PM)MurkScribe Wrote:  *He tells me that everyone is nice there and encouraging so how can you hate school?

Just because people are nice and encouraging, doesn't mean the system of school and what you're forced to do each day is a positive environment. Do they ask you about your interests, talk to you about your possible future, and learn more about what you're saying?

Or are they, with all the niceness and good intentions in the world, ignoring all that and telling you to basically shut up and not bother them?

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

ASDE Newsletters: #1 Announcement | #2 History of ASDE | #6 Education Liberation


School Survival & Catalyst Learning Network featured on AlternativestoSchool's blog
“Mom, Dad, can I stop going to school?”

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High

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05-08-2015 11:28 PM
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MurkScribe Away
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Post: #4
My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

It's starting to take on my toll, but I want to take the effective strategy.

This conflict has been tearing up my family, well more specifically the anger of my mom and dad.

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05-09-2015 11:10 AM
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MurkScribe Away
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Post: #5
My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

I really just don't know ,but I feel that I'm deprived of my rights and freedom, and ultimatley my parents have full authority and control over my education, but it's not education this is the decimation of my soul and mind. I couldn't care less about school, but the fear of my dad with me leaving on the streets if I don't have educational credential, and honestly he's threatning over and over again to call the police in order to reinforce this rule, and he's telling me not to force him, when really I'm being forced. I AM GOING FUCKING INSANE, ANGRY, VICIOUS, VIOLENT FROM ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I FEEL THAT NOTHING IS WORKING OR HELPING AT ALLLLLLL I JUST WANT MY FREEDOM AND NEVER BE BACK AT SCHOOL EVER AGAIN.

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05-09-2015 11:40 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

Has he actually ever called the cops? I feel as u just keep falling for his bluff like a fool lacking short term memory.

There is lots of barking but barking doesnt make a chihuahua into an alligator.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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05-09-2015 11:48 AM
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thesupremeanarchist Offline
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RE: My dad is quite threatening and reclusive about my ideas

Sounds like the average gun control conversation I have with my mother. I am pro-gun, but she is glad that guns are becoming suppressed.
Fuck her I say.

666 Baby Annihilator.
06-05-2015 12:07 PM
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