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The city Columbus, Ohio is a city that apparently exists in the center of Ohio. Rumor has it that it is the capital of Ohio, therefore The King of Ohio resides here. It was named after (internet) explorer Christopher Columbus. The city has earned a reputation as a "No-Michigan Zone", where even saying the word "Michigan" can get you attacked by the crazy Buckeyes fans and/or get you cussed out in a social studies class taught by "The Big Nut" in one of Columbus's surrounding suburbs.
The city was supposedly created in 1812, however that is fictional. It only came into known existence when The Ohio State University football team became Urban Meyer's (and F.U.'s) bitch in 2006 (and 2008).
The Ohio State University
The Ohio State University is based on the northwest side of Columbus. It is the 2nd best university in Ohio, only behind Ohio University. Ohio State is well-known for over-emphasizing "The" and going crazy on Saturdays.It is where the insane Buckeyes fans call home. They WILL shoot you if you say "Michigan" ever. They are crazy lunatics. Their football team has been rumored to have won 8 national championships. The current head coach of the football program is Urban Meyer (yes, the same Urban Meyer who the Buckeyes became bitches to). They also have a basketball program, which has sucked since Jared Sullinger left.
"The Best Damn Band in the Land"
That is The Ohio State University's marching band. They are in the dreams of many suburban kids who plan on joining their marching band (but not woodwind players).
The Professional Sports
Are non-existent in Columbus, unless you count the failed experiment of bringing hockey to Ohio (aka the Blue Jackets), or a soccer team, which is shitty.
The Town Itself
There are many sections of Columbus.
The Downtown- It is actually okay. Nowhere near as bad as Detroit's downtown. The Ohio Theater is here.
The Arena District- The area surrounding Nationwide Arena, home of the Blue Jackets. Lots of overpriced businesses are based here.
The Short North- Hipster Land. Generally along High Street north of Downtown. Tons of local businesses here.
The Ohio State University Campus Area- This area has tons of shitty pizza places, bars, textbook stores, OSU apparel, real clothing, strip clubs, the actual university, the Horseshoe (the stadium) and the Shot gun .
The West Side- All it has is the casino, a rotting shopping mall, and halfway houses.
The People of Columbus
Generally everybody in the Short North is a hipster. People on the West Side are poor and often criminals (not the northwest side by Hilliard and Dublin). The people on the East Side are similar, except they are richer (but not rich) and fewer criminals (except for Champion Ave., that area has more poor people and criminals than the West Side. There are tons of them on the West Side.). Directly north of Downtown and the northwest part of town are where the rich people are.
Most of these are exactly ordinary. There are unique ones, though.
Dublin- One of the suburbs full of rich snobs, but this one, unlike the others, holds a golf tournament (but who cares about golf) and is home of the headquarters of Wendy's, which there are more of them than McDonald's in the Columbus area.
Pataskala- The pregnant whore capital of Ohio. The town has tons of white trash (which needs to be thrown away). It's only real competition are Grove City (Grovetucky) on the southwest side of Columbus, and Cincinnati.
Granville- Thee village of Granville is particularly liberal/Democrat. It is also home of the best ice cream place in Ohio- Whit's Frozen Custard and the best Uncyclopedia editor ever.
Newark- It's biggest building (seemingly) is a fucking basket!!!