Review of Minecraft...curious about opinions!

[lisafromjackson]

Why Your Children’s Video Game Sucks: Minecraft

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/why-you...1688203198

[no]

I played minecraft back in the alpha days and consider myself semi-knowledgeable, so let's see.

None of the facts are false. Some of the opinions are troubling.

From the "normal" point of view, minecraft can seem very boring, but it's also possible to become engrossed and derive a lot of fun from it (not "addicted." If you are addicted you aren't actually getting enjoyment.). However, on that front, it seems to be mandating what it's OK to find interesting. Fuck that. This also from somebody who "played D&D." Apparently having fun needs to be simplified and dumbed down? No.

The point about the youtubers is very true. I fell into that for a while, and then I got bored of it. I don't know what to do with someone who doesn't, though.

Quote:All this for a game that looks like it was created in 1986. I have been told that simplicity is the key to Minecraft's success. If that's the case, I'm gonna create my own video game called SPOTCRAFT, and it'll just be a bunch of fucking spots on the screen, and I'll be a zillionaire.

Congratulations! You can't tell the difference between a game and a movie! You are a moron!

Quote:Open-source stuff is great if you happen to be an 18-year-old who is WAY TOO OLD to be playing Minecraft.

Confirmed moron. Maybe if our technology education was better than "IT'S EEEVIL, NEVER USE IT"-style technophobic drivel, people would know how to tell these phony sites at a younger age (like I did, because my parents aren't stuck in the fucking dark ages.) Again with the "you can't enjoy x based on your age." I guess from this person's point of view I should off myself because I wanted to learn some programming before becoming an "adult" and having that robot stick a goddamn "NO FUN ALLOWED" sign in my face? And after that daring to enjoy the same games I did before. Oh, the humanity!

Hey, fool, maybe your kids are bored of the vanilla game and that's why they watch all these youtube videos you hate. Wait, you comprehending that would imply you are capable of understanding logic.

My review of this reviewer is that he should insert a mace into each of his eyes and stuff a cactus up his ass.

[Ky]

I'm assuming that this is a work of satire, or at least isn't completely serious. Regardless, here's my review of the review. Let's break it down section by section:

The Theme Song: Reviewer complains about his children.

The Mythology: Reviewer seems to have something against small children (and Swedes).

Game Format: Visual correction needed - reviewer cannot tell difference between LEGO bricks and perfect cubes. Complains about children again. Falls into reductio ad 9/11. Complains about his children (and Swedes) once more.

Characters: Reviewer makes moral judgments about mobs on the basis of their hostility towards the player. Admits that, as a former D&D player, he has no right to criticize the game's jargon...and does so anyway.

Pros: Reviewer can't keep his shit together long enough to make his praise sound at least somewhat genuine.

Cons: Reviewer is apparently unfamiliar with the concept of Let's Plays, justifies his ignorance with appeals to the stupidity of children. (Conceivable that reviewer does not like children.) Has apparently not stopped to teach his kids Internet safety. Reveals irrational fear of the NSA. Reveals irrational discrimination against older Minecraft players. Reveals irrational desire for all game companies to be like Valve. Reveals perfectly rational hatred of Xbox (provided he's talking about the Xbox One, of course). Cannot differentiate between two dimensions and three dimensions. Paraphrases Bender. Reveals perfectly rational hatred of Call of Duty.

Conclusion: *shrugs* I don't know.

[lisafromjackson]

Hilarious. Keep 'em coming

[Missile]

That article has to be a satire.

I personally think minecraft gets way too much hype than it deserves, I can see why some people like to play it, it just doesn't appeal to me
As with so many other fandoms, there's the people who would try to strangle you if didn't rate the game a 10/10.

Quote:0h tHis iz the bEst gamE EVAAA!1!!1!

I personally think that minecraft is a bit overrated

U stopid fcuker. Munecraft iS thr bezt game of al tiMe. I bet u play Call of Dooty!!1!1
(I don't even like CoD)

When I do play minecraft, I usually play a very heavily modded version

[brainiac3397]

I cant play it. Too heavy load on netbook processor

[Chanku]

I'm partially convinced that it's partially satire...or at least the writer is an idiot who shouldn't be covering video games...

Refutation Below(tl-dr down further):

Refutal (Click to View)

Teh Article Wrote:The Mythology: Created by Swedish video-game programmer and apparent right-angle enthusiast Markus Persson, Minecraft is an open-source platform game (am I getting that right?) that has become the most popular video game in the universe among small children. Recently, Minecraft's parent company was purchased by Microsoft for $2.5 billion. That's two and a half billion dollars for one video game. I've gotten my life all wrong. This guy wasn't even looking for a payday. He just liked building digital log cabins, as Swedes are wont to do.

Well one, the person doesn't even know what they are saying...Minecraft is far from open-source and it's not a platform game...it's an indie open-world sandbox game.
Also I have no idea what he's trying to say in the last sentence tbh...

Quote:Game Format: If any other parent asks you what Minecraft is, just tell them it's virtual Legos. That's the easiest way to describe a game that strikes me as unfathomably dry and complicated. Basically, it allows you to build "worlds" where you can mine for materials (never dig straight down, because you will die, and your child will scream as if they have just lost a pet) and then build fortresses, minecart rails, houses, farms … anything, really. You can even simulate 9/11 if you want, which a disturbingly large number of people have done. Everyone grieves in their own way.

My only sl ight issue is the way they describe it, although I guess it's not technically incorrect(albeit legos are a bit more varied...minecraft blocks are 1m^3)

Quote:You children will explain all of this to you, and you will tune them out after roughly seven seconds. There are four separate handbooks for Minecraft that your children will demand to read in lieu of actual, worthwhile books. I have read sections of the Redstone Handbook to my kid. It's so boring that I want to die. Someone needs to explain to me how a Swedish guy got paid $2.5 billion to hook kids on the digital equivalent of reading through an encyclopedia of Ikea instructions.

Well to be honest, I have to agree Redstone can be a bit boring, although you don't have to get the books, there is a wiki. Plus also technically the Redstone Handbook is somewhat good for teaching basic logic gates, and things like how computer work...albeit in a VERY basic way...

Quote:Cons: Fuck Minecraft. Honestly, just fuck it right in its 8-bit ass. This fucking game. My kids don't even really PLAY it. You know what they do? They hit up YouTube and watch videos of other people playing it. In fact, there are Minecraft celebrities out there like Stampy and the Diamond Minecart, and their videos get millions and millions of views. See for yourself:

Well to be honest I do watch The Diamond Minecart, however it's mainly because of the person recording themselves, in TDM's case it's Dan.

Quote:I can't begin to tell you how fucking annoying these videos are. Imagine watching people playing a video game instead of playing it yourself. Now imagine the people playing it sound like Hot 99.5's morning drive team. Kids can watch these videos for HOURS. How can you like this shit? What is wrong with you?

To be honest I find this rather asshole-ish to ask, "What is wrong with you?" as it implies something is wrong with the watcher. However watching it for that long and in a large amount isn't very healthly...I think.

Quote:But it gets worse, because these expert YouTube Minecrafters all use "mods": special custom upgrades that allow them to do cool shit that kids can't do on their own. Of course, this results in my oldest kid demanding, on a daily basis, to download some fucking mod from a totally shady Mediafire site. Minecraft, in itself, is harmless, but it will introduce your children to the darkest, most nefarious parts of the internet. They know NOTHING about phony ads that have download buttons. They know nothing about malware. They have no ability to ascertain which sites look trustworthy and which look like a Czech MySpace page run by opium smugglers. All they know is that they want the mod that turns shit green, and then they want to make their own YouTube videos so they can become "famous" in the least valuable sense of the word.

SO MANY FUCKING THINGS WRONG WITH THIS.....
1) They aren't upgrades, mods are modifications which add things to the base game...nearly every modern game has a few mods...
2) Mediafire is one site....how they could fuck that up I don't know.
3) The ad part does have some merrit, especially when a lot of mods and stuff used to use ad-fly and such, however that has dropped down a bit and isn't as prevelant anymore. I also do note that the person's worry about viruses isn't exactly unfounded.
4) The whole youtube videos thing is something I do/did. It's somewhat fun and I did start with minecraft, although I do other games as well, however I just do it because I like it and because I have fun doing it. If they want to try out, just let them do it if it's possible.

Quote:Even if you download a mod successfully, installing it is still a complete bitch. You have to go deep into the bowels of some fucking folder in the PC and change up some of the code language, all the while terrified that your child just made you implant an NSA bug into the heart of your hard drive. Mods are fucking garbage. Open-source stuff is great if you happen to be an 18-year-old who is WAY TOO OLD to be playing Minecraft. For an 8-year-old, I just want the mods THERE. In the game already. This shouldn't be fucking rocket science.

I wouldn't call %appdata% to be in the deep 'bowels' also the person uses the term, "code language" which has no meaning, unless the author means changing the programming language minecraft uses, which isn't done...unless he means to install a mod into the jar file, which isn't even necessary anymore for you to go into anymore. In fact you just have to run the installer for forge and it does that for you, then simply copy the mod files into the mods folder in your .minecraft folder...and guess what, some mods even have installers now too!(You can also get them from Skydaz).

Also if the mods were in the game already, they wouldn't be mods; also as covered before it isn't rocket science...and trust me it used to be. (I've been playing since early beta, so I should know, I remember having to open the jar file itself...)

Quote:Did I mention the game exists on various platforms? There is the PC version (it costs $26 and you have to register, which is its own little nightmare), and then there is Pocket Edition for use on iPods and iPhones, and then there is the Xbox version, which can apparently do shit that the other versions cannot. I wouldn't know, because we don't have an Xbox, and my kid keeps begging for one so she can play the Xbox version of Minecraft on it. No, dear. The answer is no. If you have one Minecraft, you should have them all. You're not getting a goddamn Xbox. There has to be some INSTITUTIONAL CONTROL in this house, by God.

Well TBH minecraft was never really meant to be on anything other than PC...in fact AFAIK the other verisons are done by other companies(at least the Console ports are...). Besides it's not like it's a disk or something you need different accounts for each version, therefore it would be hard(if not impossible in some places) to do this.

Besides if you buy Skyrim on PC, you don't get it on any console...only on PC and the other way around.

Quote:All this for a game that looks like it was created in 1986. I have been told that simplicity is the key to Minecraft's success. If that's the case, I'm gonna create my own video game called SPOTCRAFT, and it'll just be a bunch of fucking spots on the screen, and I'll be a zillionaire. And even then, NO XBOX FOR THE KID.
The guy is missing the point, and also one of the reasons why Minecraft succeded is because of the fact that it allowed the user to control the world, the world was the player's oyster, and the sky was the limit (quite litterally in fact...).

---

tl-dr; the guy is totally clueless and has no idea wtf he is talking about, if it's not satire then this guy should serriously just stop writing on video games....because this guy is clueless about games...

[Missile]

That website looks like it's making fun of those video game review websites (like Plugged In) that parents often look up that says things like "Halo is an extremely violent game" and other crap like that.

[no]

(03-14-2015 01:52 PM)Missile Wrote:  Halo is an extremely violent game

Never have fucking guessed.

[brainiac3397]

but the flood and covenant r evil. Violence is necessary for the security of the human race.

they even killed a bunch of student cadets in cold blood.

[Missile]

People who think that Halo deserves a M rating need to play Dead Space

[brainiac3397]

They'd cry if they played Dead Space

[HSHARK]

I play factions on minecraft. It's weird how order just breaks down when raiding and PVP is enables

[brainiac3397]

Order breaks down cause there's people. That's all you need.