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RB18's log of random realizations
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #31
RB18's log of random realizations

And this:
Quote:Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
- Berthold Auerbach

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-10-2016 12:41 AM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #32
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

True, for me at least, most of the time.
07-10-2016 03:39 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #33
RB18's log of random realizations

This will be in quotes because I wrote most of it...and couldn't get to a PC.

Quote:Going through one's past, be it photographs or journals, can be quite an experience. For those who craft with words it is way more nostalgic to see the handwriting morph into something different while retaining that same spark of familiarity; the joy of finding new words to describe similar experiences, and finally, how one's perspective grows and matures. Can the butterfly remember crawling under the same flowers it flies around? And I've always preferred to write, rather than speak.


The forays into my diaries, essays, letters to the 'future me' etc. have made me realise what an impact reading fanfiction, SSF, Cracked, finding the Church of Satan had on me; vocabulary, as much as it'd improved, is the least of the improvements. Most of all, it showed me what the world I built in my head actually was; far more than just a child's refuge against abuse, it was-is- all me. All this time, I had a secret garden, and I wasn't even aware of it! The seeds of my personality, ideas and thoughts, watered and fed by the above-mentioned resources; growing into strong trees and plants; routine weeding out of the crap the Turds shove at me; adornments in the form of music and poetry.

Antol LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan said that we human beings have always invented our gods, as opposed to the gods inventing us. The gods we invent are, thus, reflections of our needs and wants; if we worship a god, we are worshiping by proxy the man who invented that god.

Magus Peter H. Gilmore described his god- his Satan- as an externalized form of the potential he saw in himself, and thus described himself as an I-theist.

I had invented a religion in middle school. It revolved around a pantheon of 8 goddesses, each representing both the good and evil sides of their chosen attribute..Love/hate, beauty/ugliness, expression/silence, courage/anger, joy/sorrow, hope/despair, knowledge/curiosity, and a combination of the 7 - life/death. The goddess I'd chosen for myself was Saki of love/hate.

Other such characters I'd chosen in relation to myself included a queen, a warrior-in-training, and the goddess. Each one of these women had pale skin and brown hair- features that physically set me apart in school. The rest of their physical features were vague; I spent more time crafting their personalities- wise, if not well-informed; cunning and intuitive; wrathful to those who had incurred it and polite to the others, and most of all, respectful of other people- be they children, servants, or in any way socially "inferior".

Given the kind of crap I was surrounded by, I'm glad I took the time to craft these role-models. Now I know that all these women- cunning and swift minds, grounded personalities, bastions of feminine strength and pride- were what I wanted to be when I "grew up", rather, gained a certain level of power and ability. At 20, I am halfway there; I have the power to make sure I attain that vision of perfection someday; that I don't believe the crap society and the Turds shove at me. My younger self- who lived with much worse abuse and in overall worse conditions- envisioned a goddess, a queen, and a warrior. It is up to me to make those dreams a reality.

This is my Satan; this is what my future looks like. The least I can do to honor the me-who-dreamed is to make those dreams a reality.

Hail Satan!
Hail Sapphire!

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-12-2016 05:53 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #34
RB18's log of random realizations

Today the Turds blew up. Again. What was different was that I could, for the first time in a while, remove myself physically from their abuse. Earlier it used to be something like "Stay in the room, and only in the room or the Turds will start tearing into you"...and now I'm just a little bit more free. Naturally the cunt came along and started her usual nonsense..."Running away isn't the solution" my ass.

This marks progress....small or not, I'm gonna celebrate it.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-17-2016 08:04 PM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #35
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

Congrats. More work ahead

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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07-19-2016 01:38 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #36
RB18's log of random realizations

More in the awesome quotes:

Quote:But, in spite of having said all of that, we actually shouldn't need research to end the practice of striking children any more than we needed research to end the practice of striking wives. As a society, there was no need for research findings to convince us of the harmful effects associated with the practice of wives being physically punished.

Instead, when society reached the point of being no longer willing to grant social tolerance to the tradition of husbands physically disciplining their wives, our decision to do so was based on our having progressed socially into the higher morality of a greater humanity. Perhaps, our next step ahead in forward progress should come by way of reaching a decision to begin recognizing children as also being deserving of those same protections against being struck.

No longer do we see any adult members of our society remaining outside the jurisdiction of the protective laws once enjoyed by only the more privileged and 'deserving' (namely white males who made the laws), regardless of race, gender, religion, ethnic group, or sexual orientation. None of our adult citizens remain legally unprotected from being violated through harassment, threats, defamation, discrimination, or being victimized by violence to any degree or form. So, given our heritage of bestowing a greater humanity upon those of a lower social status by welcoming them as our equals in the eyes of the law (in terms of violent treatment), would it be so out of character for us to also shelter the younger, weaker members of our society by allowing them to join those of us already sharing in the security and comfort of safety that's provided under the umbrella of legal protections from violence?

Bringing our little ones into the fold really doesn't seem all that magnanimous if we keep in mind that we've already been willing to share the shelter of our umbrella of Assault laws with even the most vicious of hardened adult criminals. After all, children are the very last segment of our shared human collective who still remain as fair game for being subjected to acts of physical aggression. We display a strange sense of priorities when we don't allow the prison guard to break-out a paddle and start whacking away on the disobedient buttocks of a sociopathic death-row inmate who kills for the rush it gives him, yet we find helpless, defenseless young children as deserving of such treatment.

Fact is, we define corporal punishments of prison inmates as 'Cruel and Unusual Punishment', 'Guard Brutality', or 'Aggravated Assault'. And, should the physical punishments be repeated as a routine punitive measure, such a treatment of prisoners would fall under the definition of 'Torture'.

Why would a murderous inmate be less subject to physical discipline than a helpless 3-year-old child?

Logically, morally, humanely, and scientifically, the debate on spanking is dead...save for those who would object to further social progress.
From this thread.

I wanted to bold every single word of that...but that'd defeat the point.
I love how the author pointed out that we treat actual criminals better than we treat kids.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-24-2016 01:24 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #37
RB18's log of random realizations

The Turds' treatment of my sister- who's slowly turning into a Turd herself- justified every single reservation I had in my school days about performing above the bare minimum...It certainly doesn't mean you'd be treated better( as in more respectfully); it is no guarantee that you'd not be abused ever again, because even as willing as my sister is to do well in school, the one time she slipped a bit Turdette started verbally abusing her.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-26-2016 12:25 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #38
RB18's log of random realizations

More in the awesome quotes:
Quote: "Freedom is acquired by conquest, not by gift. It must be pursued constantly and responsibly. Freedom is not an ideal located outside of man; nor is it an idea which becomes myth. It is rather the indispensable condition for the quest for human completion." -Paulo Freire


It's like the Turds don't even see their own kids as people; as someone to be treated, like a human being. The difference is a bit hard to describe- and even harder to spot- it took me this long to work out just what that niggling feeling of "wrong" is.

People are respected; you ask them before making decisions for them, you know that they have feelings and consider them while dealing with them.

Objects don't have feelings, a sense of self, and so on; that is what I feel like when I look closely at the Turds' treatment of me, my sister, and my cat. I feel dehumanized, objectified..and not just for being young/female/etc. It's like nothing I do will ever convince them that I'm human, because they barely think of themselves as human..which, honestly makes sense of a lot of their actions. Take visiting godmen instead of psychologists, for one. People-humans-think and reason; objects don't.

It is interesting to think that those diptads are incapable of looking at themselves too closely, that this might have been the biggest obstacle in their path to, well, living and acting like a sane person. They think in terms of talk in manner A to person X, act like B with person Y, without really thinking through their own reasons for doing things. Just going through the motions. And then the world of lies builds up, slowly turning into a self-feeding machine of self-denial and ignorance of their own identity; they basically make themselves into meaningless cogs in the machine. To think that others look up to my parents for being 'independent'...They wouldn't know 'independent' if it hit them in the face; they'd classify it as evil and out-of-the-norm. They already have, in fact. Rebellion, for them, means poisoning yourself with alcohol and other substances and then turning onto society before dying miserably; not my kind of rebellion, or any kind which improved society..which is stupid, considering that most of our national heroes rebelled against an oppressive government, and won.

While I've said before that I don't want to observe the Turds too closely, I have a feeling that by keeping these insights in mind, I can avoid falling into the same traps.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
07-31-2016 11:36 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #39
RB18's log of random realizations

More in the awesome quotes:

Quote:Even if your school assigns a hilarious and subversive book like Catch-22, it's going to be hard for you to really fall in love with it, because you're not thinking, "Let's check out this book!" You're thinking, "Shit, I have to read three chapters by Wednesday and there's gonna be a quiz about it." School puts reading three chapters of an amazing book in the same mental category of memorizing history dates and trying to crack calculus problems. That is, hands down, the worst fucking thing to ever happen to novels.

High school turns reading -- a thing people do on the beach on vacation -- into homework -- a thing kids dread because it takes them away from whatever they'd rather be doing.

Quote:High school and a syllabus taught me I needed to "get the right answers" on my Of Mice And Men quiz or else I'd be a failure. It's not important as far as the class is concerned if I wept when I finished the book; what matters is what this book says about Great Depression-era literature. (I, uh ... think?)

High school and a history textbook taught me Teddy Roosevelt was a president and made sure I remembered that he formed his own party called the Bull-Moose Party.

That's.

Fucking.

It.

The best stuff was always in another book or another article or another conversation. Committing the date that America declared its independence to memory (July 4th, Nine Eleven) will never be what gets a kid excited about history; it just gets a kid with a good memory an A on a test. Why do you think everyone on the planet is obsessed with Hamilton right now? It makes history interesting, funny, sexy, rebellious, and it barely has to lie about anything to do it.

Quote:I mean, Cracked is essentially a celebration of the further reading to everything, every day. We're a site that was born out of a staunch belief that your teachers and parents have been conspiring to keep the most interesting information away from you, for reasons that have never been clear to me.

Quote:In an interview, your job isn't to break the rules or change the system; your job is to get the job. You can do whatever you want when you get the job, you just have to make sure you get it first. I'm sure someone could attend a seminar or go to a special workshop specifically about writing resumes or cover letters or "How To Interview," but holy shit, why isn't every high school in America automatically including that in their curricula? Every student has to take four years of history and science, but there's no mandate to teach kids a class that would essentially be titled "This Is How To Get A Job"? What the fuck, right?

All from this article.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
08-03-2016 12:59 AM
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Post: #40
RB18's log of random realizations

More in the awesome quotes:

(08-03-2016 08:56 PM)Aureate Wrote:  Some things have changed, though, in the months that I've been quiet on the forums. I've been seventeen for a while now. My parents no longer force me to attend church services for a religion I don't profess. They no longer force me to join them on trips I don't enjoy. I can't remember the last time I was sent to my room.

Did it happen? Did I finally become an adult? To me this is all arbitrary external change, my parents losing their authoritarian convictions, the government adjusting its laws to leave me alone on the weekdays. I can't identify any change in me that would have prompted those revisions. I am exactly as I was back in ninth grade, when I was treated like a second-class citizen. More than once that year, amid a tearful argument with my parents, I slammed my eyes shut and wished to be treated like I am now. Maybe my wish was granted. Maybe that's how I got here. Maybe I opened my eyes, and then I was sitting at this keyboard with no recollection of the argument, floor fan whirling in the dark, finally free. That would explain a lot.

I found myself having similar thoughts a few weeks ago, when my father drove me to the bank to set me up with my first debit card. To do so, he wanted to transfer my money from an old account to a new one. Unfortunately, the teller told him when he tried, my account was a minor's account, opened with my mother's signature, so she needed to be present to withdraw. My father wanted at least to know the balance of the account, but the teller wasn't allowed to give us that either.

Back in the car, my father was incensed.

"They wouldn't even tell you how much money was in your account!"

I reminded him that not three years ago, he would refuse every one of my very frequent requests to know how much money I owned, on the grounds that "Kids don't need to know about that." But he was not in the mood for a debate.

My time on School Survival helped me tolerate being constantly treated like a child, even as I felt like an adult. On the whole, I'm very happy with the discussions I've had here. A few of my opinions on peripheral matters have changed considerably since I posted about them, but all my gripes about compulsory education and the dismal state of youth rights stand.


(08-03-2016 08:56 PM)Aureate Wrote:  I should probably conclude by saying if you hang in there, this childhood thing will be over in an instant. But I know from experience how little it improves your mood on a school night to read a promise that the end of compulsory schooling comes sooner than you think. Words on a screen written by some strange kid on the internet don't make these years go any faster. So I won't promise that. In fact, I don't even believe that.

"Doesn't it go by fast?" My grandparents asked me.

Nope. I felt every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every insufferable year of the sentence I served in those three disgusting buildings. But I made it through.

For me, that's what it meant to survive school.


(08-04-2016 07:04 AM)Chiron Wrote:  To me, school was a war of attrition, a period of intellectual stasis. My time there made me weaker because I did not have any viable means of fighting back; all I could do was wait for it to suck me dry and let me go. Indeed, I was more or less the same person when I left as when I entered - it was after I graduated, not during or before, that I started becoming a new person, who I have decided to name "Chiron."

I wish I had been able to wrest myself free sooner. Perhaps, if it had been possible, I would not be so entrenched in unending physical, mental, and emotional pain. To overcome now will be impossible; fortunately, "impossible" doesn't mean to me what it does to most.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
08-10-2016 02:17 AM
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Post: #41
RB18's log of random realizations

TL;DR:

People are haters because they've unresolved anger issues.

Dang. I guess a lot of people ahve such issues.

UnicornLionWolf
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08-10-2016 03:47 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #42
RB18's log of random realizations

Holy crap. More in the awesome quotes:

Quote:The parent-child relationship isn’t one of equals—in fact, it’s terrifically lopsided. All of the power is vested in the parent and while it’s a thought that might make you cringe, where there’s power, there’s also the potential abuse of power. A mother controls not just the little world a child lives in—she sets rules as well the table, decides whether it is stable or chaotic, comforting or scary—but she also, as Deborah Tannen has observed, dictates how the experiences and events in that world are interpreted. That’s fertile ground for gaslighting, especially since a child is hardwired to look to her mother for an understanding of how the world works.

Quote:It takes work to gaslight an adult. In the movie, the bad guy played by Charles Boyer has to manipulate the physical environment—footfalls in an empty attic, the flickering of the gaslights—to make his victim feel crazy. Gaslighting an intimate partner requires a consistent game plan. Boyer uses what he knows about his victim's fears and insecurities to manipulate her, using her love as a cudgel or accusing her of being too sensitive or neurotic when she catches him in a bald-faced lie. Alas, gaslighting a child is, as the saying goes, like shooting goldfish in a barrel.

There’s not much work involved making a love-deprived and insecure child doubt his or her reality.


Quote:The reasons gaslighting is hard to see vary. First, all small children accept the circumstances of their household as “normal” because it’s all they know. Second, the child’s hardwired need for her mother’s love and approval actually facilitates her own gaslighting. To recognize gaslighting you have to be confident in your own vision and trust your emotions; most daughters in this position don’t. Finally, as one daughter described it, your mother’s voice may actually be part of a chorus.

Quote:Because gaslighting is about control, some mothers may actually amp up the volume when their daughters begin to talk back, question their vision of things, and begin to believe in their own perceptions. That was certainly true in my case, although it worked less and less well as I got older. I no longer believed I was crazy, but my mother’s words and actions were still crazy-making, and I continued to wrestle with the problem of needing her to love me.

From this article.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
(This post was last modified: 08-17-2016 05:04 PM by Rule_BreakerXVIII.)
08-17-2016 05:04 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #43
RB18's log of random realizations

I need to remember this in relation to myself and my relatives:

(04-30-2015 03:18 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  
Quote:I've just had received intimidation, teasing and mockery from my sister, who probably didn't actually mean inside to say those things inside because simply put the have been told these things there whole entire life, but ended up literal teasing and mockery.

I used to be in denial like this about my relatives for a long time too, but it took me a while to realize that nobody is holding a gun to my parent's head and forcing them to say *insert a lot of shit*. They were saying all that crap because they thought that it would do something good- nevermind that their good intentions are eventually going to lead to their ruin very soon. My parents don't regret an ounce of anything they said or did to me, and I [b]hate them for it. [/b]While your ability to forgive your sister is amazing, don't delude yourself about her. It might just end up saving you a lot of pain.

If someone really regrets what they said/did, the regret and guilt is worthless unless they do something about it - preferably stopping the behaviour that hurt others and cause them to feel guilt/regret in the first place. Same thing with apologies, they are worthless if the person apologizing says sorry and does the same thing again and again.

I can see that you are kinda pacifist, but don't hesitate to clean the shit out of your life.


Quote:* I think for myself, that best way to combat such ignorance and intimidation. I usually go through the trying to rational, calm, and nice. I'm well know in my school for getting into arguments with teachers alot, but also super calm and rational about it.
That's a good idea. If you don't lose your cool you don't let them win or get some dirt on you, so to speak.


Quote:*Also even though I am not physically bullied, I am emotionally bullied by other guys, even though they themselves are not intimidating, but a situation or a an eviorment makes them want to be dominant, aggressive, a manipulative emotionally breaking down kind of intelligence.

I'd ask you not to make excuses for them...

Quote:* Of course this kind of things makes people want to go to depression, anxiety, or wanting revenge on these people for being treated like inferior or downtrodden.

Depression, anxiety and wanting revenge are normal reactions to being bullied or abused. I understand that you don't want to fall into those patterns, but that bit came off as a bit condescending. I know you didn't mean to sound like that, even though it sounded like "I won't be depressed/get anxious/want revenge because I'm too good for that crap."

Sorry I wasn't so helpful, but it helps a lot to get away from the people in your life who do nothing but pull you down at every opportunity. That's my answer.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
08-24-2016 12:30 AM
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Post: #44
RB18's log of random realizations

My college attendance has suffered lately.

Now that I'm not being dropped off by the Turds everywhere, I have more freedom to choose where I go; as long as Turdette sees me leaving at a certain time everyday and coming back at a certain time, the hours in between are mine...except, I've gotten tired of sitting in dusty classrooms without gaining anything even vaguely valuable, sitting in the cafeteria and studying, and there are only so many places you can go to in the afternoon. Eventually...it's home time.

Naturally Turdette blew up. The fact that I'm studying doesn't seem to matter to her, but since when has this problem cared about her children actually learning something?

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
09-07-2016 05:55 PM
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Post: #45
RB18's log of random realizations

On abuse, and cycles I really should break out of

This honestly hadn't occurred to me until I re-read my post on another thread:
Quote:mine [referring to Turdette] started verbally abusing me when I decided to ditch college and study at home a few day ago, until I got in her face and repeatedly yelled at her to shut up.

Because isn't that abusive? Never mind that I was defending myself, that she wouldn't shut up unless I made her, or that she practically shoved me into a position where abuse was my only option. I'm pretty sure this is how the abused turn into abusers, and I have to break out of this cycle before I hurt someone innocent. I can live with hurting someone in self-defense, but I need to make sure that this particular weapon is reserved for the Turds, and people of their level -other abusive people I may encounter.

Another cycle I really should break is the cycle of de-motivation, and like in the above case, it is fed by the Turds.

Picture this: There is a task I'm dreading doing, and I decide to postpone it for a while. The Turds nag, gnaw at and abuse me, heaping more of their shit on me in the process. The negative feelings pile up, and that task I was dreading doing is pushed back a day instead of an hour, which would have happened had the Turds not opened their shit mouths. Rinse and repeat.

This has happened, and I've also had days where I did everything I was supposed to do, on my own schedule.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
09-10-2016 03:29 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #46
RB18's log of random realizations

I'm better than this.

As stated above, continued interaction with the Turds is only going to turn me into an abusive asshole, just like they are. Revenge is tempting, but really impractical; and also, spending so much time on these asshats? I'm better than that.
The ideal course of action is to freeze them out of my life; to cut them off like a diseased branch.

This reminds me of the seeking revenge vs. living out your life dichotomy seen in Naruto; lets leave Sasuke out of it for now.

Naruto was ostracized by his village as a child because he had a demon sealed into him at birth. He could have focused on all the negatives-the village's hatred, become bitter, and stagnated...or worse, let the demon out.

Instead he focused on the positives; the village leader(Hokage) was practically his surrogate grandfather, the ramen stand owner who treated him nicely, and a handful of people who cared about him. And he eventually became the Hokage, winning the respect and admiration of his village plus the entire shinobi world.

I guess I envy the attitude of MC's like Naruto a bit. I want that ability to focus on the positives; not to the point of Polyanna-level obliviousness of the negatives, but I don't want these negatives-these assholes to win, to dominate my life anymore.

A lot of traits I thought were me, are, on a bit of introspection, turning out to be internalized bits of the Turds' BS.

Misanthropy.

Psychopathy.

Thinking that I was, in some way, less normal, and thus "less" than others.

They vilified my introversion and in many ways, I still fear achievement or anything that would bring their attention on me. In my experience, achieving something tended to heap more expectations and work on me, making me wonder why I bothered at all. This turned enjoyable activities into sources of dread.

And who wants pieces of shit in them, preserved by their own inability to draw a line between themselves and their abusers?

I am NOT a misanthrope. I am NOT a psychopath. I don't intentionally hurt people or animals without good reasons. I am normal; there are a lot of people just like me in the world. I deserve to be here and make the most of it. I deserve to live on my terms, within the constraints of the law and my own moral compass.
And if I break your rules, there's something wrong with them, dammit!

For a long time, I thought I was bad. It's about time I recognized the inherent goodness in me.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
10-06-2016 02:12 AM
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Post: #47
RB18's log of random realizations

On a side note, this struck a chord really deep in me. Madara Uchiha was one of my favourite villains, and he admitted straight out that his way was wrong.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
10-06-2016 02:20 AM
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Post: #48
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

Too little, too late.

Again, this is over an incident of abuse, by the Turd. Turdette is fine with mental, verbal and emotional abuse...but the moment it got physical (I had a knife with me and something like this in hand; I didn't expect anybody to defend me.) she stepped in.

Not that I'm ungrateful, but she has never stepped in before. EVER. And the reason it got physical this time was because I refused to cower and tried to leave his presence. No matter what words were flung at me, I ignored them and went about my routine...and then this jerk tried to manhandle me. That was when I raised my voice and shouted in his face..something like "Why resort to physical abuse?"

If I had cowered..if I had submitted, Turdette wouldn't have intervened (Remember, verbal, emotional and mental abuse is A-OK by her) and most likely the abuse would have escalated because I'd practically handcuffed myself and gave that bastard the keys! And then she says all the damn things I posted yesterday. It's literally the post above this one. Well, it's too little, too late. Not to mention that she should have divorced this asshole when it became clear that he is an abusive husband (three months into Turdette's pregnancy-yes, that means it was me she was preggo with)and would most likely be an abusive father as well; she should have stepped in when he started abusing me (It is bad that I literally cannot remember when it started) and made it clear that this behaviour was unacceptable. And lets not forget all the times she abused me. The fault of this mess in hers as much as it is Turd's. She let it escalate to this point.

I think this is the point I stop calling the Turd 'father' publicly. He's more than proved he doesn't deserve the title.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
(This post was last modified: 10-06-2016 02:45 PM by Rule_BreakerXVIII.)
10-06-2016 12:46 PM
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Post: #49
RB18's log of random realizations

More in the awesome quotes:

Quote:The Story of the Caribbean Fisherman

In the islands they tell the story of the American who was traveling through the Caribbean on business. On one of his stops he walked along the beach one afternoon just in time to see a local fisherman pull his small boat up along a little wooden pier, pull the catch of the day lazily into the bow, and then crawl into a nearby hammock to rest a while.

“What do you do around here all day?" the American asked him.

“Well, first I catch my fish, the I take a nap on the beach here in my hammock, then I take the fish home so my wife can cook it for supper. After supper, I come back to the beach to drink some rum and play my guitar with my friends till the sun goes down. Then I go home and go to bed.”

“But that doesn't make you any money,” the American said. “If you fished longer every day, you could catch more fish and sell them.”

“My boat is not big enough to carry many more fish,” the fisherman said.

“But that’s the point,” the American explained. “If you catch enough fish to sell some of them, you can save your money and buy a bigger boat.” The American was getting excited now. “And pretty soon,” he plunged on, “you will be able to buy a fleet of boats and hire crews to do the fishing and you can sell your fish everywhere!”

The fisherman didn’t say a word.

“Then," the American continued triumphantly, “you will be able to take a vacation when you want to, enjoy this beautiful island, eat well, and spend time with your friends every day of your life.”

The fisherman looked up at the American and said, a bit incredulously: “That's what I do now.”
Source



Quote:Humanistic psychologists would say that by definition, authentic people possess a number of common characteristics that show they are psychologically mature and fully functioning as human beings. They...

Have realistic perceptions of reality.
Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
Are thoughtful.
Have a non-hostile sense of humor.
Are able to express their emotions freely and clearly.
Are open to learning from their mistakes.
Understand their motivations.
This is what is means to be true to oneself. And conversely, inauthentic people...

Are self-deceptive and unrealistic in their perceptions of reality.
Look to others for approval and to feel valued.
Are judgemental of other people.
Do not think things through clearly.
Have a hostile sense of humor.
Are unable to express their emotions freely and clearly.
Are not open to learning from their mistakes.
Do not understand their motivations.
If behind what a person says and does is a defensive and self-deceptive approach to life, then no matter how passionate and committed they are to a cause, ultimately they are not being true to themselves.
Source

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
11-09-2016 03:12 AM
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Post: #50
RB18's log of random realizations

Quote:The reason people reject "rape culture" is that it throws people into groups instead of treating them as individuals. I'm a white male. But I'm not responsible for some half-wit who thinks it is okay to do whatever he wants to another person. I have absolutely no control over them. I am also only one voice. I have absolutely zero control over campus culture, inner city culture, suburban culture, or any other kind of culture. But when people throw around "rape culture" with impunity they are indicting a whole segment of society for the crimes of individuals.

Yes, I know that TV glorifies this and movies glorify that. I don't make TV or movies. I don't know anyone who does. Yet I am a member of the rapist group according to many. It is this leftist tendency to herd every person into a group and ignore everything else that caused Trump to be elected. Telling a white guy in West Virginia who is struggling to feed his family that he just needs to pull himself up by his privilege doesn't work.
Quote:Like I said, I'm one voice. That's it. I can't teach every boy to respect women. I can teach my daughter to keep herself safe. We also teach boys not to murder, steal, rob banks, and a host of other things that people do every day. Rape is a crime. It is a crime committed by an individual. Are there systemic issues? Yeah, there are. But when we focus on the systemic issues we lose sight of the fact that these are individuals.

part of a comment by p_m on this article.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
11-16-2016 02:00 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #51
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

White privilege is about as accessible to white people as the throne. In a job with a ton of candidates, i.e. low wages, all sorts of arbitrary dumbness go into deciding who gets the (crappy) job. Being poor disqualifies you for white privilege. Converting to Islam disqualifies you for white privilege. Having worked for Wal-mart or McDonald's as a non-manager (being groomed in a lower position doesn't count) disqualifies you for white privilege.

The prejudice of the cultural elite is so mysterious and secretive that it seems only those oblivious and apathetic to that prejudice are ever selected for middle management.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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11-21-2016 02:14 AM
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Post: #52
RB18's log of random realizations

Speaking frankly, there is a lot of white privilege in India too...only people are much more open and casual about it. People casually drop comments about skin colour, features, height, etc. I was shocked when my grandma (Turdette's mother; not abusive, just passive and very sweet otherwise) called the leading actor of a film (Bajirao Mastaani, if anyone's curious) black and apparently unfit to portray a bhramin. Dude's as black as I am (NOT), for fuck's sake.

Not sure how far this extends into the job market. But being pale, white (or as we call it- 'gora/gori') apparently puts you into people's good books regardless of caste.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
11-23-2016 06:48 PM
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Post: #53
RB18's log of random realizations

And about that 'rape culture' thing...one thing people can do as individuals is make their stance clear- or at least believe it when women or men say that they have been raped. Even silent support or letting the victim know that you support and believe them counts for a lot...aside from continuing to teach your kids as OP said. Oh, and not shaming or blaming the victims.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
11-23-2016 06:54 PM
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Post: #54
RB18's log of random realizations

Today..Turdette told me, if the Turd started assaulting me physically I should just stay passive and take it. Apparently, trying to defend myself would only enrage him further.

Do I even have to mention why this is the worst thing you can do with an abuser? Everytime I think that these two have sunk to their lowest, they find new ways to disappoint and hurt me more.

Fuck fuckmylife- my life doesn't suck, my parents do. Fuck anyone who thinks I should "take it"; I never have, and I never will.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
12-07-2016 12:09 AM
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the Analogist Offline
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Post: #55
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

When I'm around Indians they are usually a bunch of condescending pricks. I'm sorry but greasy oil ginger with vegetable afterthought is not my idea of good food, and yes I can eat spicier than you because that vegetable you guys love to add to your food originates in South America and was brought to you by Spanish colonialists.

I'll refrain from blasting Indians further and just leave it at "condescending pricks"

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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12-12-2016 03:18 PM
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Username Offline
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Post: #56
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

lol

I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise.
12-13-2016 02:14 AM
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RE: RB18's log of random realizations

(12-12-2016 03:18 PM)the Analogist Wrote:  When I'm around Indians they are usually a bunch of condescending pricks. I'm sorry but greasy oil ginger with vegetable afterthought is not my idea of good food, and yes I can eat spicier than you because that vegetable you guys love to add to your food originates in South America and was brought to you by Spanish colonialists.

I'll refrain from blasting Indians further and just leave it at "condescending pricks"

Islamophobia probably has a lot to do with it.
And TBH most Indian food is not my cup of tea either.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
12-15-2016 06:16 PM
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Post: #58
RB18's log of random realizations

A few days age, I attended college-lectures, and not practicals. It just happened to be an English lecture. The teacher was dictating notes on "Daffodils" by Wordsworth.

And suddenly the word 'gay' came up. A few of my classmates started snickering, and the teacher took offense to that. From there on it denigrated into a shouting fest for my classmates and the teacher loudly asserting that being gay is ok.Cuckoo To be fair, quite a bit of this is her fault. She should have announced that the word was used here in it's older sense, where 'gay' means 'happy' and moved the class on. Instead she gave rocks to the monkeys by bringing homosexuality into the picture.

And, why were my classmates laughing? I get that one can find humor in almost anything when extremely bored, but I got the feeling that there was some knowledge lacking there. Like middle schoolers snickering at some crude joke. The teacher shouldn't have needed to state that homosexuality is OK; what have these 19-20 year olds been doing with their net connections?

I think the issue of educating the students on important cultural topics such as sexism, politics, emotional intelligence, abuse, and so forth has been delegated to a tiny subject that is seen as a joke by most of the students; there is nothing that is thought provoking, challenging, or enjoyable in our English textbook. For fuck's sake, even my sister's 10th grade English text is better to read; more enjoyable and funny. I think more time should be spent on those above-mentioned topics...but of course, if they suddenly made it into a compulsory subject, the students wouldn't even glance at the subject matter. They would just learn how to say the right words to earn a passing grade. The best way to learn more here is self-directed; kinda like what I've been doing. And yet I see no such drive in my classmates.

I am kinda at a loss here.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
12-25-2016 04:58 PM
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Post: #59
RE: RB18's log of random realizations

(12-25-2016 04:58 PM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  ...They would just learn how to say the right words to earn a passing grade. The best way to learn more here is self-directed; kinda like what I've been doing. And yet I see no such drive in my classmates.

I am kinda at a loss here.

I suspect that the more parents/teachers require their kids to disregard what is in their hearts, many learn to disregard their hearts. Those upon whom this does not work share in being baffled by its effects.

Purity is to Believe only that which deserves it.
Wisdom is to follow only the Opinion which makes the best use of evidence.
Excellence is to be mindful of all these things in Living.
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12-26-2016 10:49 AM
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Post: #60
RB18's log of random realizations

Recently I have been knotting a "focus bracelet" as a way to ground myself. Meaning, everytime I start to lose sight of myself and my agenda, I sit down and add some more knots to the bracelet. And holy crap, it's working.

Feeling pointlessly sad? Knot. Feeling existential despair? knot. Feeling like what I'm doing doesn't matter? knot. And bit by bit, I can see my bracelet growing; just like the good thing I did yesterday, the knots do not vanish into the ether. I feel like even the small things I do today will add up to something bigger. And I needed this.

The bracelet in question is a macrame chevron bracelet. I recently discovered these; summer camp isn't really a thing in India, sadly.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
01-23-2017 01:50 AM
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