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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


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Did you cry in the past 48 hours?
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stevehein Offline

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Post: #1
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

Part of my belief system is that we need to feel our pain.

I was thinking about my family and about America and Americans, or those who call themselves Americans.

One thought I had is they are too happy. They are laughing too much.
I was thinking "America laughs while the world cries." I searched that in google and found no results - which often happens. This reminds me of how differently I think... which reminds me when I was around 14 people signed my school yearbook and often said things like "stay who u are" "keep being different"

So I have always been different... I see it more and more each year... but I also know that there are a few sensitive people around the world like me. They are one of the reasons I write. I want to help make the world a less painful place for them.

Anyhow, I cry just about everyday at least once. I believe that is a good sign.

And I don'twant to be "happy" or "have a nice day."
There are too many people suffering in the world. I believe it is an offense to them to laugh, watch the Tonight show, for example, and laugh at the jokes, or at an American made sitcom, or even a lot of funnuy videos on youtube. I find myself laughing sometimes but then I feel guilty, because I remember how many people are suffering.

I know that most people who comment on SS don't understand me, and don't support me. But for now I feel motivated to write anyhow, for myself and for the one person who might find my writing and say "wow this guy gets it. he understands how i feel"

that happens from time to time. so it might happen here. and i also write here because i like soulriser and i want to support her and her work and beliefs. sr and i dont agree on everything but we have a high level of mutual respect. and this site is still one of the best on the net overall in my opinion. so for now i will keep putting in my 2 cents.

and i think i will keep giving feedback on how much i feel understood or other feelings. maybe it will be a good model for someone else so they will also think about how much they feel understood when they post something. and how important it is to feel understood - and actually *be* understood

i recently got an email from a sister who is about 10 years older than me btw. i felt understood about 1 or 2. mostly she debated with me and defended the system

next i will write about sqk's
02-13-2015 03:21 PM
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 Thanks given by: xcriteria , SoulRiser , radovansurlak
xcriteria Offline

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Post: #2
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I very rarely cry, even though I do see a lot of the problems and I can see the reasons to.

Still, I think a lot of Americans do cry and are sad and/or depressed -- and lots of people in other places, even in harsh conditions, find joy and have meaning in their lives.

Maybe there's not enough laughter, or tears, in America?

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02-13-2015 09:43 PM
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Missile Offline
с гордостью девственница

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Post: #3
RE: Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

Believe it or not, I haven't cried in three years, and yes a lot of depressing stuff happened to me in that time frame, even those didn't make me cry

Wake up people, and look at life around you

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02-13-2015 10:27 PM
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TheShadow Offline

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Post: #4
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I don't cry a lot, but when I do, it's for an hour straight or so because I have a tendency to supress the feeling of sadness, so eventually something will make me burst open.

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(This post was last modified: 02-14-2015 01:24 AM by TheShadow.)
02-14-2015 01:23 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I only cry when suffering from stinging pains. Not sure how, but it seems like the stinging sort of pain also causes some sort of sting in my eye that causes tears. Stinging often involves some sort of burn, or burning sensation.

Also when sneezing. And when I get that dry itchy throat feeling.

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02-14-2015 02:35 AM
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isolatedsystem Offline

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Post: #6
RE: Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I don't remember when was the last time I cried. In general I cry when I have an enormous rage , like the biggest. For the rest is more like If I am in a bad situation and I feel like there is no way out, I normally cry. And no I don't cry from sad movies or such minorities.
02-14-2015 05:00 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #7
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I think the last time I cried was possibly a few months ago... and by that I mean crying because of sadness... I cry from laughter more often... maybe once a month? Not sure...

I don't feel guilty for laughing or being happy... If I'm sad because someone else is sad, that makes 2 sad people... and I find it really hard to make someone feel better if I feel sad as well...

It's kind of like not eating food because there are people who are starving... it doesn't help them in any way (unless I give them my food). Food is a finite resource though, so if I give someone mine, then I have less... but if I can (somehow) give a person my happiness, it doesn't subtract any from me... I find it actually multiplies my own as well, when I manage to make someone happy (or just laugh or smile).

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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02-15-2015 01:32 AM
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TheCancer Offline

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Post: #8
RE: Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

I cried this morning when I saw a news report about racist cops and police brutality.

I had two students lose family members this week and I cried when I got home and kept thinking about their pain.

I cried after after developing an IEP for a kid who is by legal definition mentally retarded. That was recent. I often cry just because I'm so tired.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.

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02-15-2015 01:54 AM
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Dikont5 Offline

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Post: #9
Did you cry in the past 48 hours?

Seems stupid, but I cried a couple of hours back when I lost the bid for a Bionicle. Seems childish until you realize that I lost to a damn sniper who input the price 2 seconds till bidding ended.

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02-16-2015 03:37 PM
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