How do you feel when you read this story...

[stevehein]

I would like to know how you feel. Just specific feeling words. Not "I feel like" or "I think"

i ask because it seems not many people on ss can say how they feel... with feeling words in simple sentences like "i feel sad" or "i feel empathy"

here is a list of some words to express painful feelings to help you get some suggestions

http://www.eqi.org/cnfs.htm

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so here is the story....i wrote it several years ago. i feel a lot of pain when i read it again. i also feel discouraged but at the same time a little
"energized" or motivated to try to help change things.

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I just talked to a teen friend of mine. She was depressed because her school is threatening her again. This time it is the threat of not being able to go to the school's promotion ceremony. She is moving from middle school to highschool and the school makes a big deal about it. They invite the parents etc. My friend, Megan, has already bought the tickets (a good trick for the school to make money, by the way) for herself and her family.

When I say her family, I mean her mother, who she lives with, her father, who she rarely sees, and her father's girlfriend, who is confined to a wheel chair and hardly ever gets out.

Megan told me she has been working hard to be able to go to this big event so her all of her family would be together and see her walk across the stage.

Megan was told that if she doesn't have her math grade improved by tomorrow, the day before the ceremony, she won't be allowed to attend.

There is no real reason for Megan to improve her math grade. She doesn't need it to go on to highschool. She will never become a mathematician. She has no interest in math. The school is just enforcing their rules.

In October Megan tried to kill herself because she was so depressed. She overdosed on pills. Megan has been abused physically and emotionally by her mother. Locking her up has not stopped her mother from abusing her. Megan has also been put on drugs. But the drugs don't stop her mother from abusing her either.

I asked Megan who had threatened her. She said it was the school counselor. This school counselor has threatened Megan in the past so I was not surprised. I asked if she her principal knew what was going on. She said there was no point in telling her because she wouldn't do anything. Megan said it would be like trying to fight the government.

How sad when a 14 year old has already given up on trying to make changes in the world. Megan feels powerless. Feeling powerless is one of the causes of depression. The same school counselor who is being paid to help Megan with her mental health is actually making Megan feel worse. The school counselor wouldn't see it that way though of course. She would get defensive if I tried to show her what she is doing.

Another friend of mine, Sarah, told me that she cried when she heard what they were doing to Megan. Teenagers know what is unfair, or some do, until they have been convinced that the people in power always are right and everyone must follow the rules or society will break down.

Some teenagers have no one to turn to when they see injustice or when they are treated unfairly. There is no one to support them. If Megan were in my legal care I would launch a very intense protest against the school. I would even consider suing them for contributing to Megan's depression and increasing the chances of her killing herself. I generally don't like lawyers but it is sometimes the only resort other than public pressure. The trouble with public pressure is that when too many people follow the rules there are too few people who will support someone like Megan.

Schools are teaching teens that it doesn't pay to question things. It doesn't pay to break the rules. Above all else, the rules must be followed. Even if someone is going to kill themselves. Better that then admit that your system is not working. If a teen kills themselves the people in power can say, "It was a chemical imbalance. We tried to help her but she wouldn't cooperate."

[SoulRiser]

I feel angry... and frustrated... I want to go punch those idiots.

What happened to Megan? Do you still hear from her?

[c00ldud3]

frustrated...very

[TheShadow]

Sad, angry....

[isolatedsystem]

Frustrated...sadly this is how it works

[SoulRiser]

Split posts off to Random.
http://forums.school-survival.net/forumd...php?fid=23

[stevehein]

thank u to those who named their feelings.

right now i am feeling very sad myself. almost powerless. 9 out of 10 let's say. i feel alone 8 out of ten. i feel uncared about 8 out of ten - not by ss pple but in general. i feel almost invisible in the world. almost insignificant. 9.8/10. i feel drained. beaten down. beaten up. i feel kind of relieved no one mocked my post or said something witty. witty but invalidating... i dont feel totally safe here on ss. i feel fragile. vulnerable.

btw i kept in touch with megan for a few years but now it has been a few since i havent heard from her. i would assume by now she is a single mother based on similar teens i have kept in touch with into their twenties. i would assume she has stayed in the united states. probably in the same small town where she lived or nearby. i would assume she will send her child to government run schools and she will never learn about her own emotional needs or those of her children. i would assume she "supports the troops" doing whatever they are told to do for whatever reasons they are being told to do it. i would assume she would feel defensive if she read this.