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MrAnonymous · 12-13-2014 09:15 AM

School is compulsory; we are forced to go to it. We all know that. What's worse than being forced to go to school against your will is being forced to do things by your parents.

For me, one of them is wrestling. Wrestling has not started yet, but I ABSOLUTELY DON'T WANT TO DO IT. I don't feel like training for something I didn't choose and fight when I don't want to. Plus, I'm already going to take MMA in the summer with my dad.

Another one is music. I play the viola, and I'm in an orchestra for advanced players. I'm the most talented violist in that orchestra. In my regular school orchestra, I'm the most talented violist, possibly most talented in class. I hate being bored to death—note that most kids can't even play THAT. In both, we play simplified music that we slow down. One time, we were playing a simplified version of "Frozen," almost all songs in one. The notes weren't even the same as original, and we slowed it down (this was in advanced orchestra). I understand not everybody is born with this talent for music, which I can accept, but I can't stand being forced to collaborate with people that aren't good.

How can I talk sense to my parents on this? My mom wants me to stay in orchestra, and my dad wants me to take wrestling.

lisafromjackson · 12-13-2014 09:26 AM

When I was in middle school I was the only one in our orchestra who could play. It was boring but I got a bang out of being able to do something nobody else could do. Look at it as a role model type thing.

By the way, I think whether you're born with musical talent has very little to do with whether you can become a musician. It has to do with being exposed to music, choosing to play an instrument, and having parents who can give you the opportunity for private lessons, etc.

As to whether you should play in the orchestra, do wrestling, etc., maybe you can come up with a compromise?

brainiac3397 · 12-13-2014 10:18 AM

Just play something insanely well, bow, and exit the class with a confident flair.

Dead · 12-13-2014 10:54 AM

Do you know why your parents are making you do these things?

MrAnonymous · 12-13-2014 12:42 PM

My dad wants me to learn wrestling for ground-fighting, and my mom likes me playing music and thinks that making me do things I don't want to do is somehow beneficial.

I don't think that would go very well. I'd probably get in trouble and have to go back when I'm not in trouble anymore.

MurkScribe · 12-13-2014 01:33 PM

I can really relate to that. I decided to quite wrestling a year ago since it inhibits on my well being as a better person and could have further indoctrinated me into militarism and blind patriotism. Do not care what other people want you to do and ignore both the wishes of both your father and your mom. Do not care about whether or not people will call you a pussy or quitter. Tell your parents your hatred and your inner struggles and be direct and honest to them.

brainiac3397 · 12-13-2014 03:50 PM

Tone down the hatred, and emphasize why you don't believe this current course of action does not fit your future plans(requiring you to have made such plans) and provide alternatives(requiring you to have come up with alternatives) as well as why these alternatives are better fits for your life.

Focus less on how you feel, and more on the logical outcome of the taken actions in regards to character development in the future.

lisafromjackson · 12-14-2014 12:14 AM

and thinks that making me do things I don't want to do is somehow beneficial.

I see that a lot. I have talked to parents who come right out and say for education to be beneficial the learner SHOULD be unwilling. It's hard to argue with that view because there are so many examples of, you know, people learning something they didn't value at first and then really loving it.

My response is, first, unless I know the relationship between the adult and the student, I can't evaluate that circumstance...there may have been great understanding between them. And second, if there wasn't a close relationship, how can the adult really be sure the student came to love the subject? Compliance is a powerful thing and the prospect of adult approval is, as well. Third, what is the student then NOT learning by NOT pursuing a real interest or passion, but putting it aside for the teacher?

Murkscribe wrote, "Do not care what other people want you to do and ignore both the wishes of both your father and your mom. Do not care about whether or not people will call you a pussy or quitter. Tell your parents your hatred and your inner struggles and be direct and honest to them."

But then they take away your tech until you comply.

MurkScribe · 12-14-2014 03:02 AM

Quote:I can really relate to that. I decided to quite wrestling a year ago since it inhibits on my well being as a better person and could have further indoctrinated me into militarism and blind patriotism. Do not care what other people want you to do and ignore both the wishes of both your father and your mom. Do not care about whether or not people will call you a pussy or quitter. Tell your parents your hatred and your inner struggles and be direct and honest to them.

Yeah, that Is very much so true. Parenting today really boils down into compliance and authoritarianism. Parents usually accuse the child of being selfish and ungrateful, saying, "If you really love me, then you should listen." Honestly what I said, will likely accomplish very little.

Cianna200 · 12-14-2014 04:10 AM

Yeah agree "you are being ungrateful" I hear that a lot. In some cases this is true but people should care more about what they have given, not what they have received.

MrAnonymous · 12-14-2014 04:30 PM

The only reason I pursue things myself outside of school was because I was inspired. Computers and curiosity towards them is what made me want to pursue computer security. What I'm getting from your point is that they were unwilling then willing; they were inspired to learn more.

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