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a potential advance in the field of neckbeards
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Gwedin Offline
dumb shithead

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Post: #1
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

right. i have an idea.

i will gather a lot of energy by eating lots of junk food and drinking mountain dew. after that i will go into hibernation to conserve energy. except instead of conserving the energy i'll be directing it into my neckbeard area. so the idea is that when i wake from hibernation i will have a glorious and thick neckbeard.

i want to do this because i am tired of the slow rate at which my neckbeard is growing. the problem here is that i don't know how to hibernate, which is where ss comes in. seeing as you all have dream logs i figure you're all experts on sleeping. how does one go about hibernating? every time i end up simply falling asleep for a pathetic amount of time with disappointing growth results.

this thread should be pinned imo as it could serve as important help for any other future beta neckbeards that come strolling through looking to rank up.
thank you all in advance for any and all advice.

idk :|
10-28-2014 10:09 AM
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NiteRaidah Offline
hmmm

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Post: #2
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

may I suggest study into the field of comas? an ideal way to take a stab at hibernating for the first time.

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10-28-2014 10:12 AM
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Gwedin Offline
dumb shithead

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Post: #3
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

an interesting idea. however possibly dangerous. what if i never wake? while i'd likely be asleep longer than i would be in hibernation, thus giving me a thicker neckbeard, there's the possibility of never ever seeing that glorious growth. is it worth it? i think we should test the waters first to see if hibernation gives off an acceptable growth before doing anything risky.

idk :|
10-28-2014 10:15 AM
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NiteRaidah Offline
hmmm

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Post: #4
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

fair points. there are few more frustrating feelings in life than sacrificing for something...then never being able to reap the reward.

are there any potential interested parties who would be willing to test the proverbial waters? in the name of science, of course.

"All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
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10-28-2014 10:22 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

I'd love to time travel through comatose rest. Course that would be if I had much monies, a suitable facility with dedicated treatment staff, and lots of stem cells for the rejuvenation of my body(hopefully. Course dat means lots of babies gonna not make it to this world)

I'd probably need lots of physical therapy though....

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10-28-2014 10:32 AM
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Gwedin Offline
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RE: a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

(10-28-2014 10:22 AM)N.R. Wrote:  fair points. there are few more frustrating feelings in life than sacrificing for something...then never being able to reap the reward.

are there any potential interested parties who would be willing to test the proverbial waters? in the name of science, of course.

i have a few acquaintances that are interested in the growth of the neckbeard, however none that take it seriously or are committed to research in the field. it's probably the most depressing thing ever to see such apathy concerning one of the most important fields of science to humanity. i really wish we could spark interest in this field... somehow. little universities are offering degrees in this field. is this not a pathetic reflection on our society?

idk :|
(This post was last modified: 10-28-2014 10:41 AM by Gwedin.)
10-28-2014 10:40 AM
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NiteRaidah Offline
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RE: a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

(10-28-2014 10:40 AM)Gwedin Wrote:  
(10-28-2014 10:22 AM)N.R. Wrote:  fair points. there are few more frustrating feelings in life than sacrificing for something...then never being able to reap the reward.

are there any potential interested parties who would be willing to test the proverbial waters? in the name of science, of course.

i have a few acquaintances that are interested in the growth of the neckbeard, however none that take it seriously or are committed to research in the field. it's probably the most depressing thing ever to see such apathy concerning one of the most important fields of science to humanity. i really wish we could spark interest in this field... somehow. little universities are offering degrees in this field. is this not a pathetic reflection on our society?

seriously. myself, I blame lack of awareness in the neckbeard. it only exists to occupy its own little niche of society, and that's a sad way to limit yourself. :(

perhaps a sort of fundraiser or awareness campaign would solve that? certainly, it would be a step in the right direction, if nothing else.

"All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."
-Prince

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10-28-2014 10:46 AM
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Post: #8
a potential advance in the field of neckbeards

best science thread ever
important issues
10/10
mountain dew
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11-01-2014 02:36 PM
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