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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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RB18's dream log
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #1
RB18's dream log

Today I dreamt that I caught 3 snakes and after beheading them and taking out their organs and spine, got them home. For some weird reason I cooked them in a cauldron over a single-burner stove that I put in my bedroom. Confused

I distinctly remember everything vividly, from the feel of the meat to the smell, which means that this dream was one of the semi-lucid ones that I managed on 5 hours of sleep. Ah, well. After frying the snake meat, which I cut into small squares with a steak knife, I made some soup in the above mentioned cauldron. (Don't ask me why there was a cauldron.) I remember adding potatoes, mushrooms, carrots, onions, and so on; the final result tasted good, while the snake meat reminded me of chicken. I didn't realize just how absurd this whole thing was till I woke up.Cuckoo

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
10-20-2014 04:09 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: RB18's dream log

Obviously you want a snake stew.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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10-21-2014 05:32 AM
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Alistoriv Offline
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Post: #3
RB18's dream log

good dream 10/10 would dream again

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RIP SAINTVICIOUS
(03-20-2013 05:08 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Stand up with pride and say "No! I will not be a McDonalds employee. I WILL BE A GARBAGE MAN!"

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10-21-2014 07:12 AM
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Gwedin Offline
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Post: #4
RE: RB18's dream log

(10-20-2014 04:09 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  beheading them and taking out their organs and spine

\m/
10-21-2014 01:41 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #5
RE: RB18's dream log

(10-21-2014 01:41 PM)Gwedin Wrote:  
(10-20-2014 04:09 AM)Rule_BreakerXVIII Wrote:  beheading them and taking out their organs and spine

\m/

Surprisingly, I "did" it (in the dream, of course) without any feeling of disgust or nausea, as naturally as though I did it everyday.Pirate2PiratePirate

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
10-21-2014 11:08 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #6
RB18's dream log

Badass dream: Somehow, our apartment had gotten elevated above cloud-level, along with the tree outside our window. There was this epic, metal thunderstorm going on right outside our window-the clouds were like a fluffy dark gray blanket, with electricity randomly lighting up parts of it. The sky above was deep blue, with sunset hues near the cloud cover, making the clouds take a purplish hue...it was really beautiful. Sometimes, I'd hear a loud crash- like lightning striking somewhere. There was also the sound of the crackle of electricity, clouds rumbling...and as the dream went on, the lightning turned golden while the sky became sunset-yellow, and the clouds gained a lighter shade. All the while, I was watching the whole thing through the window, too awed to move despite being scared that I'd get electrocuted any moment...All in all, an awesome dream. My family was there too panicking in the background, generally acting like annoying noisy chickens, while my cat watched the lightning from the window beside me.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2014 04:51 AM by Rule_BreakerXVIII.)
11-03-2014 04:50 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: RB18's dream log

Boring. I once got hunted through a massive skyscraper that could twist turn and lean. Chased by vampires, werewolves and zombies.

Lots of dead bodies and explosions by time I woke up.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
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11-03-2014 09:20 AM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #8
RB18's dream log

I've been having nightmares lately, which is pretty unusual for me. Thing is, they're not recurring; they have little-to-nothing to do with me or my fears, and it's more like normal dreams suddenly mutating into nightmares at a certain time (3:30 to 5 am. ish). The first one, which occurred last week, was about me going apartment-hunting, (nothing unusual because I'd been reading up on the topic.). I had found a house at a good rate, and decided on a hunch to spend a night in it before making the final decision. I won't bore anyone with descriptions, but the house(a two-storey bungalow) was pretty elegant, and they'd yet to move the furniture. Huge windows, 2 decent-sized bedrooms, an ok hall and kitchen...I might have been suspicious if the house wasn't so far out of the city that most people would drive the same distance to a holiday.

The feeling of wrongness began around 10 in the night..It was just a feeling as I made myself a ham sandwich; it increased as I went towards the bedroom. I wasn't about to sleep on somebody else's bed, and I'd brought a sleeping bag with me, and the floor was covered in a pretty shaggy, red carpet. I decided to sleep on the floor. I 'woke up' around midnight, getting the sense that I should get the fuck outta there, and fast. I turned over, and suddenly the feeling intensified; I shot outta sleep, and bolted for the door.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
01-26-2015 08:10 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: RB18's dream log

Anxiety?

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
01-26-2015 11:56 PM
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Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
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Post: #10
RB18's dream log

I actually got lazy halfway through the typing...so, yeah, there's more.

I went from the house to a nearby Domino's, (on a black Scooty) and had some pizza...after which I traveled to my sister's place(she had an apartment, too) and told her the whole story. The next day, we met up with the owners of the house(an elderly couple- last name was Senju, for some weird reason) and told them why I wasn't willing to buy the house. That's when I woke up.

The second dream was more realistic in terms of my fears..Turdette found out that I'd slept with a guy after a party(I don't even date or party in real life, for fuck's sake) and had a huge overreaction and told the whole neighbourhood. Normal Turdette behaviour there, but the content of the dream- as in why I'd dream of that particular scenario is a big question mark. That dream was on the 23rd.

The third and most recent one was on the 24th; Me and family, minus the cat who we kept with a friend of mine, had gone trekking somewhere in the north- think Leh-Ladakh or Manali. There was a house with a paid-accommodation kinda thingy done by a family who had 4 extra rooms in their house; me and family were staying in the 3rd one. The rooms themselves were very spacious, and we had to share a bathroom with no. 4. There were 4 beds- layout here:http://imgur.com/XvRMjiv


Those rectangles with names on them are the beds and the cyan thingies near the walls are windows. All 3 of us- me, sister, and Turdette raced to claim the beds we wanted; I confirmed later that my sister wanted to get the hell away from the bed marked as 'Turd'. That night, after spending the day trekking, Turd moved his mattress next to Turdette's bed on the floor, saying that something kept biting him. The next day of our trek was innocent enough, but my sister noticed that a coconut seller kept staring at Turd, who had bite marks like bedbugs on his arms. After the trek(afternoon) me and sister retired to our room, wanting to change. While she changed, I went around the room, closing the curtains; in the faint light coming from the window near Turd's bed, I saw a man who had hanged himself from the fan above the bed. I just backed away slowly, not screaming, and dragged my sister over to the scene. The ghostly smell(refer http://forums.school-survival.net/showth...?tid=34767) hit us both, and we backed out then ran like hell to get Turd and Turdette. It wasn't there when we got back. Over dinner, Turd casually asked around as to why the owners had rented the place out..no answer, except for the owner couple exchanging a meaningful glance. We were later interrogated by those two, my sister's story helping. It would have been typical for those two to dismiss it as some sort of prank if only I had seen it, nevermind that I have never played pranks on the two. After packing the next morning, we met a coconut seller at the gates. He told us that someone had committed suicide in the building, and asked us which room we'd stayed in..at that point, we took him to a restaurant for a meal and a chat. He told us that someone did hang himself on the fan above Turd's bed; that the reason was unknown, the man basically just checked himself into the room and killed himself. The coconut seller's brother and his family from another city had checked into the same room a year ago; the wife woke up with bite marks similar to Turd's; their son saw the apparition, but nobody but the coconut seller believed him. The man remembered a big fuss about some suicide a few years ago, did some digging, and found out the details to collaborate his nephew's story. He indicated that the bite marks on Turd's arms were what made him suspicious.

I woke up to my cat licking my nose(she sleeps next to me on the same bed, if she isn't sharing my blanket.) Not a pleasant experience, mind ya.

Quote:Anxiety?

I am not anxious about anything; this is a pretty chill time compared to Oct-Nov, and the lack of any stress or anxiety is, in part what makes having 3 nightmares so frequently so strange. I slept pretty well last night.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
(This post was last modified: 01-27-2015 01:44 AM by Rule_BreakerXVIII.)
01-27-2015 01:39 AM
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