Luck?

[Dead]

I seem to "luck out" a lot... for example, I didn't do my science project, and then boom, everyone from another class of mine just disappear and I'm left alone with the opportunity to work on it.

Most memorable time was probably about 5 years ago. My mom had to go to New York the next day to see her doctor. I was attached to her, and I didn't want her to leave. I wished that she wouldn't have to go, and then the next day, a tree fell on our house and she had to stay home.

I don't really believe in luck, and I think everything that happens like this is coincidence... but it's starting to fuck with my head a bit.

[brainiac3397]

I believe luck is just the occurrence of a statistically improbable event further considered impossible due to lack of omnipotence of all possible factors and influences.

And the fact we seem to attribute certain actions as dependent to others. What you perceive as "didn't want her to go" and "tree fell on house" seems to imply to you that it was the tree that kept her home because of your hope that she wouldn't go.

Realistically, it's quite possible that tree would have fallen whether your mother left or not since it's highly likely the reason for the tree falling was one something already in the process of happening.

Luck is a perception, but it certainly makes people feel better(or worse).

[xcriteria]

I'd say that if you look for it, you can see examples of "good luck" and "bad luck" in anyone's life. Sometimes things just play out in unexpectedly good ways -- the word for that is serendipity.

Very often, especially when experiencing depression, people notice and interpret more bad than good in events... something called the negativity bias.

But all of that is where metacognition can be useful. By learning to step back and think about how you're interpreting things, it can all start to be less confusing and make more sense.

Another related thing: In the show Arrested Development, characters would often say "that was a freebie" after they avoided some kind of expected negative consequence.

That's just how life is sometimes. It's a reminder that, even when things seem doomed, a lot of times there are ways things can turn around. And... it's a reminder not to get too caught up in assuming everything will just go perfectly, even when it can sometimes. A lot of situations can play out more than one way.

If it's messing with your head, one term for what you're experiencing is likely cognitive dissonance.

Does that help at all?

For me, a common example I experience of that feeling of both "good luck" and "bad luck," even when it is all coincidence, is catching trains, busses, and ferries... basically public transit in general. Sometimes the doors close right before I get there, or I just miss the ride... other times I make it at the last minute or only have to wait a minute. Other times there's a long wait. Depending on the timing, it can feel like everything is working out perfectly, or that I hit a bad break. But by planning ahead and realizing that's all just part of how things work, the experience is less dissonance-inducing either way...

[Dead]

(09-16-2014 01:05 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  I believe luck is just the occurrence of a statistically improbable event further considered impossible due to lack of omnipotence of all possible factors and influences.

And the fact we seem to attribute certain actions as dependent to others. What you perceive as "didn't want her to go" and "tree fell on house" seems to imply to you that it was the tree that kept her home because of your hope that she wouldn't go.

Realistically, it's quite possible that tree would have fallen whether your mother left or not since it's highly likely the reason for the tree falling was one something already in the process of happening.

Luck is a perception, but it certainly makes people feel better(or worse).

Yeah, that makes sense. Whether she was going to go or not, or I wanted her to or not, the tree would've fell anyway. It fell because there was a storm, not because of what I was thinking.

xcriteria Wrote:I'd say that if you look for it, you can see examples of "good luck" and "bad luck" in anyone's life. Sometimes things just play out in unexpectedly good ways -- the word for that is serendipity.

Very often, especially when experiencing depression, people notice and interpret more bad than good in events... something called the negativity bias.

Makes sense as well. I remember in shittier times, everyone seemed to be trying to work against me and I'd occasionally see "signs" that I was destined to be killed by now or that my existence was a mistake. But in thinking about it now, everything that I thought was giving me these clues were just ordinary, unrelated things.

xcriteria Wrote:But all of that is where metacognition can be useful. By learning to step back and think about how you're interpreting things, it can all start to be less confusing and make more sense.

Another related thing: In the show Arrested Development, characters would often say "that was a freebie" after they avoided some kind of expected negative consequence.

That's what I'm trying to do. For most of my life, I've jumped to conclusions about things without any basis. When I was a little kid, I used to do this thing kind of similar to ocd-style rituals, accept it wasn't as bad and more sporadic. I'd think of a random command, and I'd have to do it or else something bad would happen. I did it for a couple years.

Anyway, I'm just hoping I can look at things more realistically from now on.

xcriteria Wrote:That's just how life is sometimes. It's a reminder that, even when things seem doomed, a lot of times there are ways things can turn around. And... it's a reminder not to get too caught up in assuming everything will just go perfectly, even when it can sometimes. A lot of situations can play out more than one way.

I like this.

xcriteria Wrote:If it's messing with your head, one term for what you're experiencing is likely cognitive dissonance.

Does that help at all?

For me, a common example I experience of that feeling of both "good luck" and "bad luck," even when it is all coincidence, is catching trains, busses, and ferries... basically public transit in general. Sometimes the doors close right before I get there, or I just miss the ride... other times I make it at the last minute or only have to wait a minute. Other times there's a long wait. Depending on the timing, it can feel like everything is working out perfectly, or that I hit a bad break. But by planning ahead and realizing that's all just part of how things work, the experience is less dissonance-inducing either way...

Yep, it does help.

[Money morkel]

Depends of the point-of-view. For example, I think Bill Gates doesn't born rich. Then, he used his intelligent, his abilities and principally his will power to be the man who he is today.

[Username]

(06-19-2015 04:41 PM)Money morkel Wrote:  Depends of the point-of-view. For example, I think Bill Gates doesn't born rich. Then, he used his intelligent, his abilities and principally his will power to be the man who he is today.

He bought MS-DOS from a university student at Harvard.

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..because he's rich.

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...and was born to a family that was...

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...rich

[brainiac3397]

He also had contacts with Intel thanks to internship there which his father helped with(I think his father had a friend there who smoothed the path, though I'm sure Bill Gates had his own merit actually land the job)