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I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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Can I just quit school before i even start?
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Night Offline
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Post: #1
Can I just quit school before i even start?

So here I am 12 hours away from a placement test for college. And I've come to the realization that I don't think I want to do this.

I don't think I wanted to do this in the first place. I think I even noticed my mom taking an almost "pageant mom" type attitude. It seems like she's having more fun with this than I am. And when I look at my attitude... Well it just seems like I don't care.

I feel guilty. Because everyone has told me they're proud of me. I've already filled out the application. I got my student email. Today I'm scheduled to take the placement test... And I had to choose today of all days to start having second thoughts.

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't think I'm ready. It feels like everything is moving so much faster than I expected it to. I felt like I would have more time. But now its almost here and I've had what feels like no time at all. I thought I'd be ready.

Now I'm faced with so many questions.
Do I want this? Yes
Do I want this now? It'd be nice
Am I ready? I don't know
Can I even do this?

I don't think I've reached complete psychological readiness for this.
I don't think I want to do this..

I'm a girl ffffeck
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07-17-2014 07:46 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #2
Can I just quit school before i even start?

I'd suggest taking the placement test anyway. See where you're at. If you decide not to go, you can always take steps to learn beyond school.

These days, the whole idea of "being in college" vs. "not being in college" doesn't need to have as much difference as people imagine it to... if you set your mind to learning equivalent things in other ways, and think about paths to earning a living.

A lot of what I want to do, personally, is help people do college-level learning regardless of being in college. I'm not sure what the others in your life would think about that, but it's something to keep in mind.

One thing to keep in mind (or learn about, if you didn't know) is that you can get college credit through CLEP exams at many colleges. This provides one way to learn outside of formal enrollment, but still make progress toward getting a degree. I found out about CLEP the first time I quit college mid-semester, and I actually took a few exams as part of a plan to make up for not finishing my classes.

I'd also look into whether you can start, and then withdraw without penalty by a given date. You might be able to do a couple of weeks of school, then quit... without affecting your record or future financial aid. If so, you might doing that, to at least get a feel for what it's like.

Anyway, for now, I'd say take the test, and then figure out what to do.

What classes are you signed up for so far (if any?) Do you know what you'd be studying, or is that one of the things you haven't figured out?

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07-17-2014 11:25 PM
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Night Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

I'm not going to the placement test.

I'm still deciding what to do. I really don't think I want to go at all right now. Like can't I just go next year?? :/

My boyfriend really isn't happy about this pending decision. Which makes it harder on me.

I made everyone feel proud of me. And now I'm just a disappointment. And I'm torn between what I really want to do vs what I "should" do...

I'm a girl ffffeck
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07-18-2014 06:01 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #4
Can I just quit school before i even start?

Don't put it off.

I mean, thee are folk who legitametly put it off but they generally do so for some purpose that would make their entrance much more satisfactoy.

I know lots of folk who said "I'll start next year" then got a paying job, and are now trying to do community college because they lost interest in college, forgot stuff and became wage slaves. Making money is nice at first, but if you're somebodies bitch(in pretty much every job)...the money part loses it's attraction pretty damn fast.

If it wasn't for my plan to return to college(as my current progress is serving towards benefiting me when I return to college), I'd probably have gone to Turkey, moved into Syria to join the Free Syrian Army to kick Assad and ISIS ass, then returned to Turkey(if still alive) to become a local mobster making a decent living with nobody to answer to.

But I've got others plan Biggrin

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-18-2014 06:27 AM
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Sharpie Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

Do what ever you want to do, the only right answer here is the one you pick for yourself. Whatever you're more inclinded to do, do it.
(This post was last modified: 07-18-2014 07:25 AM by Sharpie.)
07-18-2014 07:24 AM
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Night Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

It already is community college brain.

I just don't want to go. I don't want to do it.

I hate myself

I'm a girl ffffeck
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07-18-2014 08:06 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #7
Can I just quit school before i even start?

Don't hate yourself. If you don't feel ready, you might not be ready. If you need a year to prepare yourself, you should take it.

Heck, I'm probably going to do the same. It's occurred to me that I don't want to do it either, and I don't even know if I'll be able to, given my current situation.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
(This post was last modified: 07-18-2014 11:07 AM by Ky.)
07-18-2014 11:07 AM
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Night Offline
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RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

I'm gonna go. I think in gonna go.

I already really fucked up though.

I'm a girl ffffeck
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07-18-2014 11:15 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

How?

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

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07-18-2014 11:18 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #10
RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

Sounds like massive anxiety. No

I'd suggest take it anyway.... I can't imagine your people not leaving you alone if you don't take it.

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07-18-2014 11:48 AM
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Night Offline
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RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

I had a complete psychotic break.. I don't want to go into much of the details. But my parents are mostly ignoring me now.

I'm a girl ffffeck
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07-18-2014 12:54 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #12
Can I just quit school before i even start?

I took a year off before college... which was good for me.

Maybe if you go without being entirely ready... you'll get stronger somewhere along the way? I dunno.

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07-19-2014 04:51 AM
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James Comey Away
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Can I just quit school before i even start?

^Yeah, sometimes you might want a buffer.

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07-19-2014 08:36 AM
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Sunbourn Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

If you have your doubts then it may be a good idea to wait so that you can avoid getting off to a bad start. You could lose your financial aid if you do poorly enough, as has happened to people I know. If you think that you're just feeling baseless anxiety however you should really do your best to overcome it and sign up anyway.

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07-20-2014 01:00 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: Can I just quit school before i even start?

(07-20-2014 01:00 AM)|55555| Wrote:  If you have your doubts then it may be a good idea to wait so that you can avoid getting off to a bad start. You could lose your financial aid if you do poorly enough, as has happened to people I know. If you think that you're just feeling baseless anxiety however you should really do your best to overcome it and sign up anyway.

I almost had a bad start because of starting when I didn't believe I was ready to.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-20-2014 04:37 AM
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